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By KFC posted September 16th, 2014 at 12:50 PM

Publisher Puts Asian Porn Star On The Cover Of Math Textbook

Whoops!

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Daily Dot – How can you tell what the perky teacher in that photo is really teaching her students? It turns out a Thai publisher accidentally put a Japanese porn star on the cover of a math textbook. As Rocket News 24 reports, the MuangThai Book Center had distributed over 3,000 copies of its latest math textbook before realizing its mistake. The cover originally featured a bright young schoolteacher on a cute and colorful cover. The problem? The teacher on the cover isn’t from a generic stock photograph. That’s Japanese porn star Mana Aoki, who is known for photoshoots like “Class Flirt,” “Oil Nudes,” and videos like Costume Play Working Girl. It’s a marketing shoot for the latter that provided the textbook photo. As you can see from the other photos in the set, Aoki’s teacher isn’t exactly focused on mathematical equations. The cover has since been revised and replaced. Let’s hope Thai students find what’s inside the book as exciting as the outside.

Whoops! Listen I understand how this shit happens. I just use Google images for my blog pictures all the time. Just generic searches and you pick the first one that looks good and don’t think twice about it. So when you’re designing a math text book and you’re like “We need an Asian Schoolgirl for the cover of this book,” this is the kinda trouble you’re gonna get in. I mean good luck trying to find a non-porn picture when you’re looking for an Asian girl in a school uniform. Matter of fact good luck searching for ANY Asian female pictures and not landing on porn. Judging by Aoki’s catalog of work this probably could have happened for the cover of a nursing book, a masseuse manual, a police officer booklet, and, oddly enough, some sort of Alien Space Invaders Book. I guess its just the hazards of making Asian book covers. There’s been Asian pornos for virtually every profession and possible book topic.

By KFC posted September 16th, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Video Of Jacob deGrom Striking Out The First 8 Batters He Faced Last Night

Watching him deal last night made me realize 2 things - 1) Striking out 20 batters is fucking insane. 2) If the Mets don't deal one of these arms I'm going to fucking explode.

What a show put on by Jacob deGrom last night. 8 up, 8 down to start the game – 8 straight Ks. Only the second pitcher since 1900 to do it. Should have been 9 too as the guy who snapped the streak was the opposing pitcher. If he struck out everyone through 3 full innings I would have fully expected him to go Steve Nebraska on the Marlins. Perfect game with 27 Ks. He finished with 13 Ks and the no decision because the rest of this team sucks, but nonetheless his performance was deGrominant.

Watching him deal last night made me realize 2 things – 1) Striking out 20 batters is fucking insane. He struck out 8 through 3, and he would have needed to double that and still come up with 4 more Ks over the course of his outing. You obviously gotta go a full 9 for it to even be remotely possible, and you need to be over powering with every single pitch of every single at bat. You slip up or let up for even one batter and it almost becomes impossible. Really just puts Clemens, Wood and Randy Johnson’s performances in perspective.

2) If the Mets don’t deal one of these arms I’m going to fucking explode. Back when it was just Harvey and Wheeler and Niese and Gee with Mejia and Montero lurking around, the prevailing idea was the Mets still had enough arms to deal from their surplus and address their weakness. Since then, Syndergaard arrived and the 2014 Rookie of the Year. deGrom looks like he could be better than any of them. They already had a surplus of pitching and that was before adding 2 more studs into the mix. There’s just NO OTHER OPTION at this point. Unless we’re rolling with a 7 or 8 man rotation this is just Baseball 101. 1st day stuff. Someone needs to be moved.

Oodles.

PS – The 2 most exciting moments of this otherwise dismal 2014 season have both been at the hands of deGrom. His no hit bid a couple months back and this electric start were the 2 funnest moments of the year.

By KFC posted September 16th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

Jim Dolan On Good Day NY Performing With His Band

“The artist in me needs to be free" ~ Jim Dolan

Not Bad:

Very, Very Bad: The host doesn’t even know the name of your band, Jim:

Just rockin out on the kazoo:

“The artist in me needs to be free” ~ Jim Dolan

Well JD put on quite the performance this morning with Greg Kelly and Rosanna Scotto. Billionaire Jim Dolan. Owner of multiple sports franchises. Owner of the greatest arena in the world. Owner of one of the largest cable providers in the New York City area.

And Master of the Kazoo.

Like some wanna be John Popper except he cant play the harmonica so he just downgraded to the kazoo. Maybe he works in a recorder during his other performances too. He’s legitimately bad, and all of his songs are about politics and Trayvon Martin and shit like that. And you know what? I love it. I fucking love it. Because every moment that Jim Dolan is in the studio or up on stage with The Straight Shots, he’s NOT meddling with the Knicks. Every night he’s opening for the goddam Eagles is a night Phil Jackson can operate without him interfering. I dont care what this little fucking Ewok wants to do – play music, paint pictures, knit sweaters, whatever hobby he wants. As long as he stays out of the Knicks affairs I’ll even buy his fucking album.

Now cue the motherfucking music about Trayvon Martin!

By KFC posted September 16th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Gerard Depardieu Drinks 14 Bottles Of Wine Per Day

Savage

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Uproxx – It’s a shame Gerard Depardieu has renounced his French citizenship, because in so many ways, he’s the perfect symbol for France, a mascot, like a French Uncle Sam. Last June he got drunk and fell off his scooter (probably cracking his baguette and smushing his satchel full of frogs in the process), and according to a recent interview, the 65-year-old says he drinks up to 14 bottles of wine a day. That kind of tolerance puts him up there with other titans of drinking like André the Giant, who was also from France. You guys? Maybe we should move to France. The 65-year-old said: “When I’m bored, I drink. Apart from compulsory moments of abstinence. After bypass surgery, and also because of cholesterol and stuff, I have to be careful. [...] “But if ever I start drinking I can’t drink like a normal person. I can absorb 12, 13, 14 bottles per day. Discussing his operation, he explained: “I was asked to tell the doctor about my consumption. So I said, ‘here it goes’. “It starts at home with champagne or red wine, before 10am. Then again champagne. “Then pastis, maybe half a bottle. Then food, accompanied by two bottles of wine. In the afternoon, champagne, beer, and more pastis at around 5pm, to finish off the bottle. Later on vodka and/or whisky. “But I’m never totally drunk, just a little p****d. All you need is a 10-minute nap and voila, a slurp of rose wine and I feel as fresh as a daisy.” 

You know what the most shocking thing about this is? Not that Depardieu can physically handle 14 bottles of wine. That doesn’t surprise me one bit. He’s just as much of a savage as Andre the Giant or Wade Boggs or any of the other classic drinkers. He pisses on the floors of planes on a regular basis. The amount of booze doesnt faze me.

Whats really shocking is that Depardieu has the fucking time to drink 14 bottles a day. I mean check out his rundown – wake up at 10 and drink some champagne. Drink some liqueur. Another bottle of champagne. Lunch, 2 bottles of wine. More bubbly, beer and liqueur at 5. Happy hour through the rest of the night is vodka and whisky. Mix in some naps and some rose. Thats how Depardieu’s day goes. Sounds like goddam Louis the XIV. I guess dude is still cashing those “My Father, The Hero” checks. Spending that Depardieu Money. Wake up in the morning without a care in the world. Zero responsibility, no job, no expenses. And you just say to yourself “I’m gonna drink 14 bottles of wine today.” That, my friends, is a little something I like to call “living the dream.”

By KFC posted September 16th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Wake Up With Leanna Decker

 

 

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By feitelberg posted September 16th, 2014 at 9:00 AM

Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Tiffani

Barstool New York College Football Party This Saturday At Suite 36 In Herald Square No Cover

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Introducing Tiffani from Hofstra.  Potato sack city, NY!  Perfect start to the week with the definition of what you should bring home to the parents.

 

Tiffani and the Hofstra crew are invited to Barstool New York College Football Party This Saturday at Suite 36 in Herald Square.  It’s looking like theres going to be a lot of great looking people going and reping their schools.

No Cover, This Saturday starting around 2 PM.  Check out the Facebook invite and we’ll see you Saturday.

 

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By beardo posted September 15th, 2014 at 5:42 PM

Orange Is The New Black Writer Divorces Her Husband After Realizing She’s A Lesbian Through Writing The Show

Fucking chicks man. They are fickle beasts that cant be trusted.

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Gothamist –  One of the main writers for Netflix’s Orange Of The New Black has filed for divorce from her husband after realizing, through writing the show, that she’s a lesbian. Lauren Morelli and her husband of two years, Steve Basilone, recently filed a joint petition for divorce according toTMZ. Morelli started writing for Orange less than half a year after getting married to Basilone, and realized that she was gay after writing for the main character Piper. In the series, Piper is a bisexual woman who is reunited with her former lover when she is sent to an all-women prison. “I found a mouthpiece for my own desires and a glimmer of what my future could look like,”she wrote of her realization, back in May. Her new squeeze, now that she knows where her heart truly lies? OITNB’s own Samira Wiley, who plays Poussey Washington on the show. 

Fucking chicks man. They are so goddam confused like 100% of the time. They cant decide what they want to eat. They cant decide what they want to wear. Cant decide where they want to go. And they cant decide if they like dick or vagina. Its honestly almost impressive how indecisive chicks can be. They’ll decide to be vegetarians at the drop of a hat. Chop of all their hair and look like a 12 year old boy just because they “needed a change.” So it doesnt surprise me one bit that this girl convinced herself to be gay after writing for this show. Ho hum I’m straight I love my husband I love men I love this job writing this show about a lot of lesbians oh its a smash hit we won a bunch of Emmys I’m gay! Thats exactly how it played out in this girl’s head. Because thats just how wacky these girls can be. Her next gig will be like some 50 Shades of Grey writing and she’ll probably flip flop back to being straight. They are fickle beasts that can’t be trusted.

PS – You really couldnt tell? Nobody could? If you’re a dude and you marry a chick who looks and dresses like that you do not get to play the Surprised Card when she dumps you for a chick. Thats something you should have seen coming a mile away, brotha.

By KFC posted September 15th, 2014 at 5:00 PM
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