Ryan Braun Suspended For PEDs, Aaron Rodgers Has To Pay Up His Entire Salary That He Bet On Braun’s Innocence

 

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“I promise you on everything thats ever meant anything to me in my life, the morals, the values the virtues by which I’ve lived for my 28 years on this planet, I did not do this”

“We won because the truth is on my side”

“I am a victim of a process that completely broke down”

“There were a lot of things that we learned about the collector, about the collection process, about the way that the entire thing worked, that made us very concerned and very suspicious about what could have actually happened.”

Well looks like 2 of the biggest assholes in all of sports finally need to own up to being dickheads. Ryan Braun for being potentially the biggest lying scumbag in recent memory and Aaron Rodgers for being such a brash, cocky idiot coming to Braun’s defense when he got off on the last steroid charges because of a minor technicality.

First off, Braun, who did his best Rafeal Palmiero impression times a hundred thousand. I don’t even care about the cheating really, but more the way he reacted when he got off based on such a loophole. Guy stood up there and acted like Andy Dufresne. Blamed literally everyone else in the world. How can you be that cocky when you know the fucking truth? You know one way or another you’re eventually gonna get pinned down for this. How the fuck are you gonna stand at that podium and play the fucking victim card? I know athletes are arrogant and think they are untouchable. Think they can get away with anything. But know that he’s gone down for his cheating, looking back and watching that press conference is sickening. He stood there and willingly threw that sample collector under the bus – ruined another innocent man’s reputation – because he was too big of a pussy to admit he was wrong. Or, too cocky to just sit down and shut the fuck up and realize he dodged a bullet. Everyone describing Braun as the Lance Armstrong of baseball is spot on. Its not even about the cheating – its about the people he tried to take down when he finally got caught. Such a bitch.

And then Mr. Aaron Rodgers. The guy who tweeted “#exonerated #shhhhhhhhhh” after Braun got off and was willing to bet his salary on his innocence. The guy who felt he needed to come swooping in to defend his buddy like some sort of hero. Just another arrogant asshole athlete. Just as fucking stupid as Braun was for getting caught. 2 dickhead peas in a pod – perfect for each other. Watching Braun burn and Rodgers eat crow. Absolutely perfect.

PS – How fucking pathetic is Major League Baseball with this statement:

 

I know its not gonna help MLB if they come out with a statement like “Gotcha bitch!” But this dude take a shit all over Major League Baseball’s drug policy, shoved it right down their throats when he got off on a technicality, and rubbed it right in their face that they got away with it. And they are commending him for “taking responsibility.” I know its just a professional statement and this isn’t good for the game but show some fucking backbone.

PPS – Arod, you’re next homie

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 5:56 PM

MFK Mondays – Publicity Paths

Model

Actress

Musician

Total Number of Votes: 11038

 

The hottest girls on the planet get noticed and usually end up in 1 of 3 career paths.  A model, an actress, or a singer.  Some do all three.  But tonight were going to break it down and see which one is the best if you had a choice to pick.  We’re going to assume each of the 3 chicks are complete rockets.

MARRY- Model. Travel to exotic locations, known fact your wife is the one of the hottest things on the planet, usually has the body type that stays skinny, with the exception to fatty mcfats Upton.

FUCK- Singer.  It is nice that they go on tour and you get time away, but that works for all three of these choices really.  But too much fame, too many screaming kids, only one person needs to make her hit those high notes, unfortunately for my one time with her I probably won’t accomplish that.

KILL- Actress.  I don’t wan’t my chick getting fake stuffed on camera by the Gosling and doing make out scenes.  I don’t care how good you’re relationship is with that girl when you see her making out with some stud you’re going to be rattled.

PS Ariana Grande has sneaky GOAT written all over her

By beardo posted July 22nd, 2013 at 7:00 PM

Mute Girl Gains Ability To Talk After Crushing Tons and Tons Of Philadelphia Cream Cheese

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Huff PoMum’s the word for a 3-year-old girl who, thanks to a diet of cream cheese, gained the ability to speak despite a disease that left her mute from birth. Fields Taylor, from Melton Mowbray in Leicestershire, was born with the incurable genetic disease Glut 1 Deficiency that caused a lack of glucose to flow to her brain. Today, Taylor’s diet of four containers of the cream cheese per week gives her a voice. The unique high-fat Ketogenic diet helps her body use fat as an energy source rather than glucose, according to the New York Daily News. “The amount of Philadelphia she goes through is mad but worth it. It really has been our saving grace. She loves the stuff and piles it on crackers,” The Mirror quoted her mother Stevie as saying. “The first time I heard Fields say ‘Mum’ it was just wonderful.”

You know how much of a fat ass I am? I dream of scenarios like this. Do you know how awesome it would be to be a mute who can only be cured by consuming delicious Philadelphia cream cheese? That is an absolute dream come true. I would have fuckin cream cheese running through my veins. I would cum cream cheese out of my dick. Doctor’s could be like “OK Kevin you really only need to have one serving of cream cheese a day” and I’d be like nope, can’t risk it doc. Cream cheese morning noon and night. That shit is delicious and its the only reason I can talk. I’d no longer be mute but I probably wouldn’t be able to talk because there’d constantly be bagels and shit in my mouth.

And I know you say, KFC you can just eat as much cream cheese as you want now. Whats stopping you? But its that built in excuse. The best thing in the world is having an excuse to be lazy or an excuse to eat or do whatever you want. If you have a reason, that makes all the difference. Its like that movie that came out a few years ago with Jason Statham where if his heart rate drops to a certain level he dies. So he just spends his life doing drugs and fucking chicks and rage because he has to in order to survive. Sure you can just be a junkie sex addict but if you have to be one, its a different ball game. If I could just contract some awful disease that could only be cured by donuts I’d be 1000 times happier than if I was just a normal healthy person.

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 11:30 AM

This Dude Is Not Excited About The Royal Baby

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Hey bro you’re kind of a buzzkill. There’s Town Criers in the streets and retweets are fucking flying around left and right if you make any sort of joke at all about this little baby. Maybe just lighten up a little bit and quit trying to rain on Royal Baby’s parade. Like I get what you’re trying to do here, but drone strikes and George Zimmerman ain’t Royal Baby’s fault.

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Kate Upton – Rock Hard Body

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Kate Upton – the sexiest rectangle in the world. Bitch’s measurements are like 36-36-36. Anyone who doesn’t say she’s a fatter chick is just lying to themselves at this point. This is fucking irrefutable proof. You can call me gay for a lot of things. But don’t call me gay for saying Kate Upton is fat. Thats just a fact.

And yes, for the 500th time, I’d still have sex with her. I would make love to those tits in a heartbeat. But after I was done I would tell my buddies about how I TF’d a fat chick.

 

 

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 4:10 PM

Boyfriend Ditches His Girlfriend After She Gets Her Head Stuck In Between Railings During Stairway Sex

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Digital SpyA woman got her head stuck in some railings while having sex with her boyfriend. The 46-year-old, from Lipetsk in Russia, said that she wanted to “spice things up” with her man. A neighbor called the police after finding the woman naked and unable to free herself from the stairwell. When police arrived, the woman said that she had been having consensual sex with her partner when she became stuck. Her boyfriend was not around when the officers turned up. Emergency worker Alexei Dotsenko told Pronews48.ru: “In all my time working as a rescuer, I don’t recall any incident like this one.”

Well theres a boner killer. Head stuck in the railing will kill the mood every single time. I’d probably just pack my dick up and head home too if my idiot girlfriend got her head stuck in the stairs. I mean obviously I’d finish first. But once I was done, I’m outta there. Springing a human head free is a job for the fire department. I’m not gonna sit there and lube up your head with a pound of butter trying to slide your dome out like I’m DJ Tanner babysitting some retard. The fire department will be here shortly and once your free I’ll meet you at home

Next time use your whiskers or some shit to know where your head will and will not fit, babe.

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 3:30 PM

Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Nicole

 

Introducing Nicole from New York, New York.  A certified smokeshow to start the week here in NY.  This girl is one of the prettiest in the city.  Blonde hair don’t care.

 

Also a big thanks to all the former smokes who came out to Atlantic City this weekend for the show.  We had a great time and you all made it a lot better.

Know a pretty lady who should grace the stool? Nominate them by sending a name and facebook link to beardobarstool@gmail.com

By beardo posted July 22nd, 2013 at 5:30 PM

New Art Exhibit – “Fucking New York” – Is Just Naked Chicks All Over Manhattan Pretending To Bang The City

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Gothamist – Sure, we’ve seen photographers use topless women in New York City as their way to get attention ”muse” before, but Nikola Tamindzic is straight up having people fuck this city—which is a lot more hard core. His ever-growing series Fucking New York will be not only an exhibit, but a book… and you can be a part of it. Tamindzic tells us, “I’d love to invite Gothamist readers with a strong exhibitionistic streak to join in on the fun — they can reach me directly at my website.” But first, as if anyone is still reading at this point and not just clicking through to look at the naked ladies, find out what it’s really all about—this weekend the photographer told us a bit more:

“Ok, so FUCKING NEW YORK: that cliche about New York being the most important relationship for as long as you live here? So true! But what if we took that further? What would actually fucking New York be like? What would getting fucked by New York look like? (Oh, don’t we know already!)Would it be literal? Like molesting buildings, cars, fire hydrants? Or more abstract? Would it look like possession? Like an ecstatic experience? Would it be joyous? Nasty? Funny? Angry? Ridiculous? All of the above? What would you do?

And what if voyeurism — so unavoidable when living in New York — got turned on its head, and if instead of inside, all interesting, strange, beautiful things were happening outside, on the street, seen from the window of your office?

New York is a mythical city — it creates, grows and feeds on myths. This series is my take on New York mythmaking as much as my nightlife work was 7-8 years ago.

This is just the first phase of the project: it started off as an extension of fashion work I was doing, hence mostly young women as protagonists in the work that’s been completed so far.

But now the whole project is growing into something much broader — with the book and exhibit being lined up as we speak — and more subjects being involved, with no age, sex, race or size limits — anyone who wants to fuck New York can fuck New York — that’s why we’re all here, taking it as much as dishing it out.”

 

Blah blah blahhbity blah. If you think I read that whole fucking spiel about  New York being a mythical city you are outside of your mind. I took one look at that chick with her ass out hanging off the side of a building and I was in. I was sold after “What would getting fucked by New York City look like?”

So just for those of you keeping score at home – chick collecting here period blood for 2 years and putting it on display = not art. Naked broads spread eagle all over Manhattan simulating sex with an inanimate city = art.

Pics after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 4:50 PM

Prince William Will Get 2 Weeks Of Paid Paternity Leave

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Marketplace -  Prince William will be the first member of the British Royal Family to take official paternity leave. He’ll get two weeks paid — which is better than we get over here here. The Prince of England will receive $206 for his time off. 

What in the fuck is Prince William taking vacation from? 2 week break from playing polo with his mates? 2 weeks off from doing blow off of strippers asses with Harry? Does this just mean he doesn’t have to dress up in that stupid red uniform for a little while?

Fuck Prince William and his fake ass life. And his fake ass baby. You see Kate Middleton walking around 9 months pregnant weighing like 110 pounds? You expect me to believe there was another human inside of her? This was like the most pregnant she’s ever looked:

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I’m fucking fatter than Kate Middleton ever was. Wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing is just one biggest British ruse. Fake babies and fake vacations from fake jobs. Thats what royalty is all about.

Unless of course this is all something greater. A plan from God in heaven above. Giving us an Angel of Light, a Cherub of Purity. Sent from above to counteract the Spawn of Satan, North West. These 2 will grow up, inexorably connected. One good, one dark. Until one day they clash in a batter of good and evil with the human race’s fate in the balance.

PS – How about that $5,300/year salary for William?

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 9:33 AM

Putin Tells Critics Of Russia’s Athletics Program To Play Sports Or Take Viagra

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MOSCOW, July 19 (R-Sport/RIA Novosti)Critics of Russia’s extraordinary success at this month’s World University Games need help with their sex lives, President Vladimir Putin suggested Friday, after the country’s record-breaking haul of medals drew skepticism earlier this month. Known for his lack of patience with dissent and liberal use of salty language in condemning critics, Putin took a shot at those who complained the country deployed too many Olympic-level athletes in a competition meant to be restricted to students during the July 6-17 event in Kazan. ”I’d like to advise them to take up sport themselves, and if they have any health issues to go see a doctor,” Putin said at a meeting with athletes who had competed in the games. ”At the end of the day, maybe they should try some Viagra and then life would get better, would reveal some of its vivid and beautiful sides, and they would see the future,” he quipped. Through 12 days of competition at the 2013 Universiade, which ended Wednesday in the city of Kazan, a Russian delegation stocked with some of the country’s top athletes steamrolled its way to a record 292 medals, including 155 gold, another record. (The previous gold medal record of 75 was set by China at the 2011 Games in Shenzhen.) Determined to exert its athletic might on home turf, Russia deployed 673 athletes, the most in the 162-nation field, who won at least one medal in 25 of this year’s record 27 sports.

Now that’s a leader of men. Play sports or fuck chicks. Those are your only options in Russia. Now clearly I’m on to the “take Viagra” portion of my life. Can just close the books on athletics all together. But as long as I fall under Putin’s plan for the future of his country, I can still sleep at night. Its just the most simplistic, most beautiful framework for a nation I’ve ever seen. Fuck or play sports to see what life really has to offer. That is a President and a country that has its priorities in order.

And how about Russia just rolling out like 700 professional athletes to absolutely trounce a competition with a bunch of kids? Just sending their varsity squad out there to beat up on the JV teams of the world. The only type of amateurs Vladimir Putin fucks with is on a Casting Couch.

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Investment Banker Jumps Out Of His 7th Story Window Because Co-Op Board Wouldn’t Allow Dogs

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NY PostAn investment banker and husband of a powerful Manhattan real-estate broker — who was distraught over an ongoing battle with his co-op board involving the family’s three dogs — jumped out the window of his seventh-floor Upper East Side apartment yesterday. Paramedics rushed Adam Silberman, 47, who miraculously survived the plunge, to Weill Cornell Medical Center with “multiple trauma” injuries after a 10:18 a.m. call for help, according to law-enforcement sources. Silberman was in intensive care with several broken bones, and doctors put a balloon in his aorta to head off any potential clotting, according to his wife, Monique Ender Silberman, a broker at Town Residential. The jump would have surely killed Silberman instantly if he hadn’t hit a second-floor awning, which broke his fall, law-enforcement sources said. Silberman’s father-in-law, Paul Lord Ender, said the banker had been depressed about a long-running battle with the co-op board at his swanky Fifth Avenue building at 68th Street. Neighbors of the power couple have been complaining about the pair’s dogs barking and their rambunctious play in the lobby, according to Ender and a Silberman pal. One dog had already been sent away. Ender said Silberman was beside himself with worry about his three French poodles: Prince Polo, Princess Jasmine and Prince BonbonCops found “crack paraphernalia” inside the couple’s apartment, but it was not clear whether Silberman used drugs, law-enforcement sources said. In addition to their pet woes, the Silbermans also have had some money troubles. They were hit with more than $650,000 in state and federal tax liens during the past five years, according to public records.

Look theres no doubt in my mind that a dude with French poodles named Prince Polo, Princess Jasmine and Prince Bonbon definitely has some sort of dog fetish. There’s no question the co-op board giving him a hard time about his pups definitely upset the guy. He sounds like a crazy cat lady except he’s a weirdo dog dude.

But you didn’t need to go to detective school to figure out that the rampant crack use and $650,000 worth of debt probably played just a tad more of a role in the suicide. I’m pretty sure crack addiction and debt outweigh puppy problems all day every day. I have a building that won’t allow dogs and I’m pretty bummed about it too. But it ain’t gonna make me throw myself out the window. If I was addicted to crack rocks and I also was broke as fuck, maybe my management company telling me I couldn’t have a dog would put me over the edge. Straw that broke the crackhead’s back sorta thing. But there ain’t no way thats the main cause of a suicide attempt. At the end of the day this dude probably would have sold those dogs for his next fix if he needed to. Well played, New York Post. Well played. Thats how you get people to read your articles.

PS – Failed suicide is the worst thing ever. Now you’re a dogless, moneyless addict with broken bones and a balloon in your heart. Great work, guy.

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 10:56 AM

Your 2013 Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Winner Is…This Fucking Guy

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Upset city! Not Asian!

Gothamist – On Saturday, a Bushwick bar held a contest to crown the “smallest penis in Brooklyn.” The winner, Nick Gilronan, actually resides in Queens, but that didn’t stop him from walking away with the title and $200 cash. In this exclusive interview, he opens up about his junk and blasts the media for making less-endowed men seem inadequate. Single ladies take note: Gilronan is single, and has $200 burning a hole in his pocket for date night.

How old are you? Just turned 27 three weeks ago.

Are you in a relationship? I’m currently Single.

So how did you find out about the competition? I saw an ad on Craigslist with the headline being ‘Looking For Less Endowed Men.’ A headline like that catches the eye, so I clicked on the link.

Were you nervous about entering? Not at all. Besides my day job I’ve been doing modeling and acting for the past 7 years. Acting is done in front of a group of people so I was comfortable there. And sometimes my modeling jobs are nude for art classes, so wearing some skimpy clothing wasn’t a problem either.

 Half of the guys wore masks, but stood out and from the get-go were a crowd favorite—what can you say about that? I’m very confident in my body, so no need to wear a mask. As for being a crowd favorite from the start, that totally caught me by surprise. When I contacted Aimee and Bobbie from Kings County Bar and confirmed my attendance, I immediately began to plan my set. I looked at the contest as a fun and entertaining event and intended to put on a good show for the audience. Looks like my efforts were successful.

Do you think that small dicks have a bad rep? Yes. That’s the media’s fault, I think. For both men and women, they push out images of people who just aren’t regular normal people. The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship. Same thing with breast size. We’re all made in different shapes and sizes, but the media puts pressure on people to look a certain way. Most people do not look that way. Some people let that false sense of body image upset them and they shouldn’t be upset at all. Even worse, some people use those false standards and judge other people. It’s disconcerting.

Did you get approached by any women after the contest? I was approached by quite a few, actually. Most wanted photos with me, which I was more than happy to oblige. Shortly after winning the contest one of the girls who worked the event came up on stage to kiss me. I thought it would be just a quick kiss on each cheek but no, that turned into a brief make out session. It’s good to be the winner.

Goodness gracious thats a small cock. I mean I’m no Jon Hamm and I certainly don’t have any right to be talking shit in that department, but Christ almighty dude where is your fucking dick? You lose that thing in an accident or something? There are chicks with clits bigger than that dick. I think technically you gotta be disqualified for that lack-of-cock. And spare me the dog and pony show about being an actor and a nude model and shit. You are the quintessential UPS man. You’re fat and you’d look perfect in those brown shorts. You’re not an actor and nobody wants to draw you and your pecker naked.

But like I said on Friday, the worst guy in a smallest penis contest is the first runner up. This interview right here proves that theory. Nick was the belle of the tiny cock ball last nite. Making out with chicks. Going out on dates afterwards. Gets to play the whole “self confidence” card. Meanwhile 2nd place was probably some Asian guy just sitting in the corner of the bar all by himself afterward. Micro cock sitting between his legs with not one girl showing him any attention. No trophy in hand. No 200 dollar prize. Wouldn’t be surprised if I see another headline later today “Runner up in small penis contest found dead in apparent suicide.”

PS – You just happened to be trolling Twitter for “Less endowed men?” Really guy?

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 12:50 PM

Chick Brings Pony Inside McDonald’s After Being Refused Drive Thru Service On Horseback

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Telegraph - A female horse-rider who was refused service in the drive-through lane of a McDonald’s while in the saddle, subsequently led the animal inside, where it defecated on the floor. CCTV showed the woman and her daughter taking their pet into the restaurant after they were told they had to tie it up. But then customers in the restaurant looked on in astonishment as the animal “ended up doing his business on the floor.” The woman was issued with a fine after the incident at the branch on Bury New Road in Whitefield, Greater Manchester, last Saturday. Police were called to the scene. McDonald’s said the horse had caused “distress” to customers in the restaurant and insisted they could not serve the rider at the drive-through for “health and safety” reasons. A statement issued by Greater Manchester Police’s Whitefield Division read: “On Saturday, July 20, police from Whitefield received a call from McDonald’s on Fountain Place regarding a woman on horse using the drive thru. ”The staff refused to serve the women due to company policy. The women then took the horse into the restaurant who ended up doing his business on the floor. ”The sight and smell of this caused obvious distress and upset to customers trying to eat, as well as staff members. ”Officers arrived at the location and woman was issued a Fixed Penalty notice for causing alarm & distress to other customers and staff.”

How much can you possibly care about the Drive Thru Rulebook that you’re gonna piss off a lunatic on horseback by refusing her service? You know what I mean? Like just close your eyes and pretend she’s in a car, give her a Big Mac and let her and Mr. Ed be on their way. I mean whats worse? You bend the rules and compromise the integrity of the McDonald’s Drive Thru for about 60 seconds – Or – a fucking Clydesdale walks through the doors and shits all over the fucking floor? I wonder which scenario is worse for Ronald McDonald and everyone in the place enjoying some scrumptious fast food? Drive thru Nazi could have just gotten off her metaphorical High Horse and served the chick take out on her actual horse and everyone walks away happy. Instead you’ve got a Shetland Pony dropping a huge dump right in everyone’s face. Well done.

Worst part about this story is just knowing the way horses take shits. Poop just fucking falls out of their butt as they walk around. They don’t squat or anything. Don’t even stop what they’re doing. Just shit raining from their asshole plopping all over the floor. Can’t think of anything worse than trying to enjoy a Large Number 1 and having a pony drop shit right in your eyeball. Smells so bad you can taste it on your tongue. Gross.

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Tokyo Police Department Shuts Down Overweight Japanese Hooker Delivery Service

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TOKYO (AFP) –  Japanese police have arrested the alleged ringleader of a sex home-delivery service specialising in women weighing up to 150 kilograms (330 lbs), a spokesman said. Keiko Saito, 41, and one of her employees are suspected of conspiring to run a prostitution business under the name “Makkusu Bodi” (Max Body), which boasted that it catered for men who like “explosive boobs and bums”, police said. Saito is alleged to have had about 30 overweight women working for her, including one who tipped the scales at more than 150 kilograms, Jiji Press reported. Police say punters in Tokyo could telephone to request a visit in their home or hotel room, a service called “deri-heru” (delivery health) that is widespread in Japan, where it is illegal to sell penetrative sex. Saito, who is believed to have earned about 400 million yen ($4 million) over three years, had previously worked as a prostitute, Jiji said. She began her business because she believed larger women were popular with customers, the agency added.

Whats the old saying? The grass is always greener, right? Thats whats going on here. Japanese guys and their pixelated dicks don’t know anything except cartoon tentacles and flat assed Asians. Like sure a lot of guys would love to bukkake an Asian newscaster with pin straight hair weighing 100 pounds. Would love to finger a tiny on a public bus. But when thats all you do over and over again it loses its luster. After a while you want explosive boobs. You want explosive buns. You want a 330 pound hooker with some rolls and some curves to absolutely pancake your Japanese ass. Its like the forbidden fruit. You always want what you cant have. And even though a big fat whore being delivered to your doorstep isn’t something that like 90% of guys wouldn’t want, one man’s 330 pound pile of trash is another mans 330 pound treasure.

Its just a shame its all been shut down for the Japs. What a fucking gig these guys had going. And that millionaire madame too. Basically had like a Seamless Web delivery system of BBW hookers. Guess you just gotta go back to getting fat hookers the old fashioned way. Whatever that is.

(Saw this was already blogged after I had written it. Don’t caaaaareee)

By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 2:50 PM

Michael Jordan Reverses His Vasectomy

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Gossip ExtraNBA legend Michael Jordan, who was married for the second time with great fanfare in May in Palm Beach, wants to have more children! It’s another Gossip Extra exclusive: A source close to Jordan tells me His Airness agreed to undergo a vasectomy reversal at his new wife’s urging! Jordan, 50, married longtime gilfriend Yvette Prieto in a lavish ceremony at Bethesda-by-the-Sea, then celebrated with a giant party on the golf course of The Bears Club in Jupiter. “That was part of the deal of them getting married,” said a source close to the Charlotte Bobcat, the NBA team owned by Jordan. “Yvette was pretty adamant about having children with Mike. He had the vasectomy as his first marriage ended.”

MJ coming back out of retirement! Gonna slap a Number 45 Jersey on his cock and get back in the game. Sure, he’ll probably be a little rusty. Maybe those first couple loads don’t swim like before his dick retired. But before you know it that ball sack will round back into shape. He’ll be cooking up MVP batches. Reinvent himself and have 3 more kids. Thats just the way MJ does the whole retirement thing.

PS – A+ picture with Charles Oakley. 90% chance MJ and Oak Tree double teamed her.

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By KFC posted July 22nd, 2013 at 2:10 PM
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