Tour Dates

  • Atlantic City Convention Center
    Atlantic City, NJ

    July 20th, 2013 9:00 PM
  • Festival Pier
    Philadelphia, PA

    September 21st, 2013 6:00 PM

Recent Tweets

  • Why does Lebron ever pass the ball? That's nuts

    Retweet May 24th, 2013 11:20 PM

  • How did Shane battier get rid of his head wrinkles?

    Retweet May 24th, 2013 10:50 PM

  • That was a pretty awesome exchange between LBJ and Paul George. Shows you that Paul George is a superstar

    Retweet May 24th, 2013 10:40 PM

  • Paul George just fucked Birdmans face

    Retweet May 24th, 2013 10:39 PM

  • Cold blooded! I wish Gus Johnson could do play by play for Bynes' Meltdown RT @amandabynes: @JessicaFinnNYC hey ugly

    Retweet May 24th, 2013 9:34 PM

Dude Taking A 7 Year, 21,000 Mile Walk From Africa To Chile

You know why people migrated from Africa to China? Well neither do fucking I but I bet it had something to do with the fact that its like 900 degrees in Africa and there are lions and shit trying to eat you

Diana Nyad Yanked From The Water After 60 Hours

Every single year when Diana Nyad gets yanked from the ocean, I’m gonna toast myself with a glass of champagne. Like Mercury Morris and the ’72 Dolphins.

This Bitch Is STILL Trying To Swim From Cuba To Florida, 2012 Edition

Will this bitch just hurry up and drown?

This Bitch Is STILL Trying To Swim From Cuba To Florida

This idiot’s crusade to swim to Florida is very similar to me trying to get laid

Chick Successfully Swims From Cuba To Florida! Just Kidding Because Thats’s F’ing Impossible

(CNN) – Endurance swimmer Diana Nyad, who attempted to become the first person to swim between Cuba and Florida without a shark cage, was forced to abandon her effort early Tuesday morning — roughly halfway through her journey. Nyad was vomiting when she was brought aboard a boat at 12:45 a.m. Tuesday — 29 hours [...]

Reader Email – Some Bitch Thinks She Can Swim From Cuba To Florida

I honeslty don’t know whats more absurd. This old bitch thinking she can swim 103 miles from Cuba to Florida, or Lucas emailing me using David fucking Portnoy’s swimming ability as his rationale for why she won’t succeed.

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