The “Madonna Of Albania” Getting All Sorts Of Attention For Her AMA Outfit

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Daily MailShe took to social media to promote her single F*** You I’m Famous merely hours after being branded the biggest fashion disaster at the 2014 American Music Awards on Sunday. And it seems that Bleona Qereti agrees that she owes her new-found name recognition that was brought to her on that night to a fishnet dress worn over a pair of pasties and a thong. In fact, she’s pleased with the talk in the aftermath of her skin-baring moment, but revealed that it’s her parents who are baring the burden of embarrassment.  ‘They aren’t leaving their apartment. They don’t even want to come out today,’ she told Us Weekly, adding, ‘But I’m like, “Dude, this is good. This is good.” And they’re like, “What do you mean? You were naked yesterday!” I’m like, “It’s fine. Trust me.”‘ Known as ‘Madonna of Albania’, according to her Wikipedia page, the singer and Euros Of Hollywood Bravo reality star certainly doesn’t have a problem with getting attention for the wrong reasons, much like Madge. ‘It’s a haute couture dress from Shahla Dorriz,’ the 29-year-old boasted, calling it ‘larger than life.’ ‘It was literally sewn on my body [starting] at 10 a.m. And it took, like, five hours. They put the thread and everything with needles on my body, so thank God I took a shower before they came!’

I meant to talk about this naked Albanian broad the night of the AMAs but I got distracted arguing about the sex appeal of young British boys. I think I like this bitch’s style. I mean physically speaking in terms of style and fashion, I definitely like her. Thong/pasties/fisherman’s net should be common place on the red carpet if you ask me.

But I think I like her mentality. Sure, I think if you’re gonna parade around basically naked at the AMAs, you should have to be hotter. You should be like a full blown 10/10 perfect smoke if you’re gonna try to pull that off. But whatever, beggars can’t be choosers. If you’re a Homeless Man’s version of Angelina Jolie and you wanna blast your nips and cheeks out to the world, go for it. Fuck your parents. People get famous for being naked these days so who am I to hate on that. Should take it a step further and get fucked on camera. You’ll go from being the Madonna of Albania to the Kim Kardashian of Albania. And I won’t knock that hustle one bit.

By KFC posted November 25th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

Guess That Ass

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By KFC posted November 25th, 2014 at 12:50 PM

Budweiser Abandoning The Clydesdale Holiday Commercials For The First Time Since 1987

(NEWSER) – Some familiar faces won’t be around this year in holiday advertising: the Budweiser Clydesdales. Parent company Anheuser-Busch InBev is ditching the horses, which have been regulars in Christmas ads since 1987, in its quest to win over younger drinkers, reports the Wall Street Journal. This year’s ads will instead have people in their 20s looking into the camera and calling out the names of friends as a narrator intones, “If you could grab a Bud with any of your friends these holidays, who would it be?” writes theJournal. One big reason why: Nearly half of drinkers ages 21 to 27 have never tried a Bud, and the marketing gods have apparently decided that the horses are too old-fashioned.

Well I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with young drinkers and why they dont like these commercials but this is a goddam tragedy. Literally almost my entire life I’ve known the Budweiser Clydesdales. They make me cry more than anything on television. When they honored NYC on the 10th anniversary of September 11th? Waterworks. The one where the guy raises the horse and lets him become a Clydesdale and three years later at the parade the horse recognizes him and comes running down the street to see him? Wept like a baby. #BestBuds last year with the Puppy Love? Fucking FORGET ABOUT IT. I was sobbing at that one. Not like my eyes welled up a little. Like tears down my face and I was making those heaving noises like I couldnt catch my breath. Welcoming home the soldiers. All of them. I cry more at commercials with these horses than I cried at my grandma’s funeral. And each and every time it made me wanna go drink a good old fashioned Red White and Blue Budweiser with my friends and family.

I dont know what hits home with the young bucks these days. Maybe they need some commercials with techno music and Jenna Marbles on their instagram or some shit. But I do know what makes for a good commercial and that’s those goddam horses doing inexplicably heartwarming human shit.  Bring back the Clydesdales! Bring back the Clydesdales!

By KFC posted November 25th, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Dude Live Streaming All The Ferguson Activity Gets His Phone Stolen In The Middle Of Filming The Riots

Follow me on Twitter, live continuous updates coming as long as I’m not in jail*

*or immediately get my phone stolen!

This shit was like the Blair Witch Project of the Ferguson Riots. I half expected the mugger to turn the phone around and start filming snot pouring out of his nostrils. I mean you gotta be a real fucking asshole to walk around the streets with your phone out all willy nilly in the middle of a goddam riot. Do you see how motherfuckers were reacting for a couple 2 liters of orange soda??? Of course they’re gonna be eyeing up your 600 dollar phone. Thats what you get. You think riots are all fun and games and all about twitter followers and shit? Got your ass a quick reality check right there.

By KFC posted November 25th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

Manhattan Hedge Fund Bro Breaks Up With His Girlfriend By Hitting Her With A Restraining Order

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NY Post – This may be the meanest way to dump your girlfriend. A Manhattan fashion consultant says she returned from a girls weekend in California to her boyfriend’s Hamptons mansion — only to be greeted by a process-server who slapped her with an order of protection. “I was 100 percent shocked,” a heartbroken Nicole Raef told The Post. “I was like, ‘I don’t understand, who breaks up with someone this way?’ ” Raef, 28, has been homeless ever since her boyfriend of five years abruptly threw her out of his $1.7 million Long Island summer home and his $6 million Manhattan town house. “Everything was fine when I left,” Raef said, adding that she had to pawn her diamond earrings to afford legal counsel. “We’d been arguing, but we’d worked things out,” the slender brunette said. But court papers filed by her boyfriend, hedge-fund-executive-turned-private-investor Brad Zipper tell a different story. Zipper, 50, former head of Zinc Capital Management, paints his decades-younger ex as an abusive, emotionally unstable stalker. In an application for a temporary restraining order, Zipper says he came home in December 2012 to find his oven on fire and Raef passed out in the guest room. “When she woke up, she was delirious and didn’t even remember driving and getting into an accident with my car that night,” the suit says. Then, in 2014, during a Fourth of July party, Raef “had multiple breakdowns” and threw “several glass bottles directly” at her boyfriend’s head, according to the Manhattan Family Court papers. The last straw came when she allegedly “threw thousands of dollars” of his possessions into the pool at his South Hampton home. The couple enjoyed a jet-set lifestyle, with ski trips to Aspen and vacations in St. Barts, Raef said. They were written up in society pages alongside Zipper’s parents: His dad, Lance Zipper, was head of Nasdaq trading at Kidder, Peabody & Co., and his mom, Barbara, was a Wall Street order clerk. Raef’s attorney, Brett Kimmel, denied Zipper’s claims. “The allegations that are set forth in the pleadings are clearly embellished and to a large degree untrue,” he said. “This is a wealthy man breaking up with his girlfriend and doing it in a really untasteful way.”

Remember the classic Seinfeld analogy that breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine? You cant do it in one push? It takes multiple tries back and forth?

Thats not how things work for Brad Zipper. Shit goes 0-100 real quick for him in the break up department. Have a couple breakdowns, black outs and throw some bottles and you’re dunzo. None of this “I think we should see other people.” No “Its not you its me.” Forget about ” I think I need some space.” Its just straight up BOOYA! Order of protection all up in your face. Don’t come within 200 feet of me. Kick that maniac to the curb.

I love the dichotomy between her version of the relationship and his. Hers is “Well we had our fights. But what couple doesnt fight, right? LOL. We worked things out.” His version is “I can’t have this bitch come within a football field of me or my houses.” I mean maybe Nicole has a point. Maybe she just had a few bad drunk nights and some emotionally vulnerable moments. But you know what rich dudes dont need to put up with? Lightweight crazy chicks. Dude has a 6 million dollar penthouse and a 2 million dollar Hamptons house. Cut the cord on those bitches and bring in a new crop of young gold digging chicks. And when they inevitably go crazy and breakdown and get on your nerves, you ban them from your presence too. The ultimate power move with the break up. Like bitch you are gonna need a telescope if you ever wanna see me again. Dont even look at my facebook. Stay off my instagram. Brad Zipper basically blocked this chick on Twitter but we’re talking about real life.

PS – Brad Zipper is an A PLUS name for a cocky rich dude that looks like a hillbilly

By KFC posted November 25th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Islanders Have More Wins Than The Giants, Jets, Knicks and Nets Combined

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The class of New York. The one shining light. Yea the Rangers are coming off a Cup appearance but its like nobody even cares about that anymore since the Isles have burst on the scene. They’ve been that exciting. That promising. That GOOD. 15 wins in the first 21 games of the year for the first time in team history. Not bad considering we’re talking about a franchise that won 4 straight Stanley Cups. Now, granted, you have to adjust that total for overtime wins and shootout wins since OT didnt exist during some of those dynasty seasons, but nonetheless this is still one of the best starts in franchise history. They are HUMMIN.

Your boy Norman Esiason was on WFAN this morning just spitting venom at the Isles. Grasping at straws complaining about attendance. Saying their Monday night game against the Flyers wasnt a sell out and thats disgraceful. We talkin bout attendance, man. Not the game. Not the game. We talkin bout attendance. Out of all the sports arguments in this city, the attendance argument is the worst. You think I give a SHIT how many other people root for my teams? I don’t care if me and Mr. Met are the only two Mets fans in existence. I dont care one shred how full the stadium is. The Little Brother franchises will always be less popular and there’s nothing we can do about it. If 75% of kids wanna grow up as a front runner rooting for the Giants/Yankees/I guess Rangers, let em. I dont want em anyway. Plus Nassau Coliseum is perhaps the biggest, albeit lovable, dump in the country and its about half way across the Atlantic with no accessible mass transit. Because some people would rather sit in the comfort of their own home and watch rather than hike out there has nothing to do with whether or not they are big fans. Sure, I wish everyone painted their faces and attended every game but in 2014 thats just not realistic.

And to be honest, its not even about the number attending games. Its about WHO attends games. Now I know I’m a bandwagon fan, so I’m not speaking for myself here, but I’m speaking for the life long fans out on the Island. 9,000 Islander faithful rocking the Barn is a WAY better atmosphere than an MSG sellout. The Coliseum could be at 50% and the Garden could be at capacity and you’d have the same number of true diehard fans there. I dont give a shit if 6,000 extra seats are filled by corporate suits and bougie pricks. You know how many times people take their clients out to Islanders games try to talk business? You know how many times you’ve got Isles fans eating sushi and drinking fancy cocktails? Fucking never. The people who are at the Barn consistently are there for Islanders hockey and to cheer their asses off. None of the other shit. I’ll take that any day over sell outs filled with fugazi fans.

The Barn may be crappy. And yea, sometimes it may be half empty. But its loud as fuck and its our Barn. Don’t worry about the Coliseum, Boomer. Isles fans are doing just fine right about now.

By KFC posted November 25th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Adrian Peterson Weighs In On The Grand Jury’s Decision

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Adrian Peterson – indictment expert. You just know there’s some white Jew lawyer and a team of publicists who practically choked to death when they read this tweet. Lotta capital letters, lotta powerful insight. MAYBE,BUT NOT LIKELY IN THIS CASE.

By KFC posted November 24th, 2014 at 11:56 PM

Fox News Trying To Report On People Looting Citron Vodka And Orange Soda In Ferguson Tonight, Goes Real Well

I say this without an ounce of exaggeration in my voice – if you’re a white man and you’re hoarding a stash of liquor and orange soda in the middle of a predominantly black riot, you are the most reckless reporter in the industry.

I honestly wasnt sure if this was real footage of Ferguson or a Chappelle Skit. I could 500% see Chappelle as the white news man reporting on orange soda and Charlie Murphy runs over and yells FUCK YOU MAN! and steals it. That is right from the pages of a Chappelle’s Show skit

By KFC posted November 24th, 2014 at 11:10 PM
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