Dilson Herrara Gets The Call Up

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NJ.com – The Mets are bringing up Dilson Herrera, their 20-year-old fast rising second baseman, to take the place of Daniel Murphy. Murphy will go on the disabled list with a calf strain, opening a roster spot and giving the club a chance to get an immediate look at Herrera at the major league level. Herrera was acquired from the Pirates last August in a trade that sent away Marlon Byrd and has made a fast rise through the organization. He began his Mets tenure at Single-A in Savannah last season, then started at High-A this season and was promoted to Double-A Binghamton. Herrera hit .333 with a .946 OPS in 274 plate appearances at Double-A this season.

The wheels are in motion folks. We know the arms are there. With the return of Harvey, the maturation of Wheeler and deGrom, the eventual arrival of Syndergaard, and the surplus of guys like Montero, Niese, Gee, and Matz, the Mets are going to have one of the best pitching staffs in baseball. Thats just a fact, jack. Now all we need is something resembling a Major League offense and we’re cookin with gas. Dilson ain’t the missing piece of the puzzle thats gonna turn this entire offense around. He’s not a Baez/Bryant/Soler/Alcantara type like the Cubs keep fucking trotting out. But he’s batting .340, he’s been firing his way up the organization, and he’s only 20 years old. The youngest Mets call up since Mejia and Tejada (The fact that Tejada was a 20 year old call up is insane, by the way. Dude stinks. Backup infielder at best. Guy just has no business being a Major League SS.)

Duda has proven most everybody wrong and shown he can be a big bopper in the middle of this lineup. d’Arnaud finally showed some flashes of the bat we all hoped. Very early, very preliminary talks about d’Arnaud moving to LF are floating around trying to save him from concussions and maybe make room for Kevin Plawecki. One would certainly hope DW bounces back from this season. Now you make some room for Dilson, deal some of these pitchers for a big bat, and open the goddam wallet. Seeing teams like the fucking Royals and Padres have a higher payroll than a New York City franchise is sickening. The window is open. Wide open with these arms and guys like Herrara. Make some big splashes and be a contender again.

PS – The Cubs and the Mets make too much sense as trade partners. Too much. Theo is just hoarding bats. The Mets are hoarding pitchers. Lets all be reasonable and figure out an agreement and meet each other in the NLCS in a couple years.

By KFC posted August 29th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Latrell Sprewell Alive And Well (Kinda) As A Bouncer In Milwaukee

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KFC,

I was up in Milwaukee for work yesterday  and my buddy starts talking about his night last weekend and nonchelantly mentions that Latrell Sprewell was the bouncer. Apparently it’s a known thing up here? He bounces weekends at this place called Mikey’s. He said he’s still rocking spinner shoes and the braids clearly haven’t quit. Not the most surprising news in the world but he is up here, alive and well(kinda)…which is surprising.

Thad

Spree. One of my favorite athletes of all time. The man who damn near killed PJ Carlesimo. The man who almost assaulted Jerome Kersey with a two by four. The man who said 21 million dollars wasnt enough to feed his family. The man who paved the way for dudes like Josh Shaw lying about injuries when he broke his hand. For Christ’s sake hes the man invented spinning rims and then he put them on a pair of goddam sneakers.

So while it pains me to see him bouncing at a bar in Milwaukee “Mikeys,” I’m considering this a win simply because he’s alive and not homeless. Like I could have easily got a reader email with pictures of Spree sleeping at a bus stop in Milwaukee using newspapers as blankets and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash. The fact that he’s still out there most likely fucking white women when his shift ends talking about the 99 finals makes me happy.

UPDATE: More Spree Milwaukee stories from Stoolies -

As a follow up to your Spree article, I was a bouncer at a bar in Milwaukee back in 2010.  Mostly 20 somethings came in, so one night when Latrell came sauntering up with 3 beat up forty something year old women, it was a sight to behold.  He still lives (practically relies on) his being recognized and having his drinks bought for.  So whenever a drunk college kid would come up to him, he would only accept a free drink if the guy bought the three hogs drinks as well.  He’s got a nice little racket going on.  Nothing major to share, but just wanted to affirm your belief that he uses his NBA stories to lock down the trashy women of MKE and still uses his persona to get free stuff.

Wisco Stoolie

By KFC posted August 29th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Cara

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Introducing Cara from Rutgers.  There’s no way to hate on RU with the amount of beauties that go there.  Top Barstool New York school and I don’t see that ever changing.

 

Know any smokes? Email a name and Facebook link to beardobarstool@gmail.com to nominate

 

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By beardo posted August 28th, 2014 at 5:33 PM

Texas Father Found Not Guilty Of Murdering The Drunk Driver Who Killed His Two Kids

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NBCA Texas father was found not guilty Wednesday of gunning down the man who killed his young sons in a drunken-driving accident. It took the jury three hours to acquit David Barajas, who was charged in the shooting death of 20-year-old Jose Banda Jr. in December 2012. “I thank God. This has been hard on me and my family,” Barajas told reporters. “It’s been a lot of weight lifted but I’m still very hurt.” An intoxicated Banda struck Barajas and his two children while they pushed the family’s disabled truck down a road, just 50 yards away from their home in Alvin, south of Houston. Barajas’ children — David, 12, and Caleb, 11 — were killed. Amid the chaos, authorities charged, Barajas went home, retrieved a gun and went back to the wreckage to shoot Banda in the head. But investigators never recovered a gun and didn’t have an eyewitness to the shooting. Barajas’ attorney, Sam Cammack, said his client’s only focus the night of the crash was trying to save his sons’ lives and that someone else killed Banda. The prosecutor Jeri Yenne said she had no regrets about bringing charges. “We believe that Mr. Barajas committed the crime and we also know the jury did not believe that beyond a reasonable doubt. We respect that,” she said.

This is some Marty Hart-Reggie LeDoux vigilante justice right here that I think I can get behind. I mean I’m not some Texas Forever Tim Riggins type who thinks we can all just be blasting people in the head all willy nilly. But here’s the thing – the world is going so far in the opposite direction with this kinda shit that I think I like seeing some crazy vigilante shit to balance it all out. For every story we hear about some rapist or murderer scumbag getting off on a technicality or something we need a dad who just gets to put a scumbag like this down. He’s like The Punisher or something. Antiheroes, so hot right now, Antiheroes.

By KFC posted August 28th, 2014 at 4:50 PM

Pras From The Fugees Heading Over To North Korea To Watch A Wrestling Match

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NY Post – American rapper Pras Michel, who topped the charts in the 1990s with his band the Fugees, and is a friend of President Barack Obama, heads to North Korea on Friday to watch a wrestling match hosted by a Japanese politician and former pro wrestler. The trip comes six months after a series of visits to the isolated country by flamboyant NBA star Dennis Rodman, who made headlines when he watched a basketball match and shared drinks and cigars with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Rodman came in for criticism back in the United States over his visits but Michel said he only wanted to explore. “Honestly, I don’t know if Obama knows I’m going to North Korea. He’s probably going to know – and at some point the State department is going to know – but this is not a political trip, this is just a human being going there to explore something,” Michel told Reuters via telephone from Beijing. “I’m not sure what Dennis’ motives were, but he’s an athlete and basketball player and I’m an entertainer – there are two different agendas and I’m purely going there to explore,” said Michel. Michel is on a week-long trip of the country where he will watch a wrestling match hosted by Japanese politician Antonio Inoki which features former NFL linebacker Bob Sapp and martial arts displays from Korean and American fighters.

Ghetto superstar! That is what you are! Coming from a far! Reaching for the stars! Run away with meeee, to North Korea! We can watch a wrestling matttch, uh huh!

What a weird ass fucking story. How about Pras’ comments? “Honestly, I don’t know if Obama knows I’m going to North Korea.” Oh really? I think its probably a safe bet that Obama doesnt know a goddam thing about you, dude. Because you’re fucking Pras! Up until right now I’m pretty sure everyone thought you were dead. Like maybe, maybe, Obama would be like “Oh the dude who made Ghetto Superstar? The other Fugee? Yea I remember him.” But he certainly doesnt fucking care if you go to North Korea to “explore.” The State Department doesnt not give one flying fuck if Pras goes to the goddam moon. I mean keep cashing those checks from The Score and The Bulworth Soundtrack and explore wherever the fuck you want but lets pump the brakes with all this talk about POTUS keeping tabs on Praswell.

By KFC posted August 28th, 2014 at 4:10 PM

French Porn Star Doing A “Ball-A-Thon” Where She Has Sex With 25 Dudes In Order To Fund Her Boob Job

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Daily Dot – A few months ago, we reported on Heidi Van Horny, a Montreal-based porn actor who wanted to celebrate her 23rd birthday by having sex with 23 men at a swingers’ club. (Van Horny eventually backed out of the stunt, and the event was cancelled.) Not to be outdone by her Francophone compatriot, another adult film actress is planning a similar event at another club—except this time, she’s doing it to fund her breast implantsThe adult performer, who goes by the nom de plume of Zoe Zebra, will star in “Boule-a-thon,” an event at a Quebec nightclub where she plans to have sex with 25 men—or be the recipient of “25 ejaculations,” as the Facebook page for the event adorably puts it—in one night. The show will be taped and broadcast online, and the 22-year-old Zebra says she’ll use the earnings from her performance to pay for her breast augmentation surgery. (What, she can’t use crowdfunding websites like the rest of us?) Boule-a-thon (or “Ball-a-thon,” for those who also got a C- in French) is being sponsored by the adult film company AD4X, which also sponsored Van Horny’s birthday celebration. The men will be picked from the crowd at random and taken to a trailer on the premises to Zebra, who will have final approval over who she has sex with on-camera. “I’m going to do it,” Zebra told Le Journal de Quebec. “I’ve made my decision and if I cancel, they will sue me. When I have an idea in my head, I don’t think of anything else.” Fair enough.

Taking “25 ejaculations” sounds so much worse than “having sex with 25 guys.” I mean dont get me wrong, a 25 man gangbang is no joke. I’m not saying anyone takes that lightly. 25 dicks and 50 balls all with 3 holes to share (unless we’re getting really weird with it) is very aggressive. But describing yourself as “the recipient of 25 ejaculations” just makes it sound even worse. Thats so much cum. So much fucking cum. Its like a nice little loophole for her to let a couple guys just JO on her if she runs out of gas, but when you still gotta get blasted by a stranger you absolutely get the credit in my book.

I guess the question is, if you’re one of the 25 selected, how far down the list do you need to be before you just say “Fuck it, banging this hooker isn’t worth it?” Obviously getting drafted number 1 overall is the Golden Ticket. You just get to fuck a fresh porn star for free and then head home. If you’re 2nd in line, you’re probably thinking to yourself “Fuck I was so close to being number 1,” but you still probably get up in there. I mean being second inside a chick is just like a threesome. As precarious as a Devils Threeway can be, I think we’d all agree most guys would just say fuck it and run up in there. When you’re in 3rd place I think you start to rationalize like “Ok well those first two dudes only lasted like 3 minutes each so add that up and thats technically only like 6 minutes with one dick, so I’m basically in second place.” By 4th place this chick is sticky and starting to get torn up, but you’re still like “well if everyone else got theirs, I’m gonna get mine.” But after that I think you get into diminish returns. 5th and up you gotta be a real fucking pervert and if you’re like the 25th guy on line who just jerks off onto this poor girls shoulder you should be thrown in jail.

By KFC posted August 28th, 2014 at 3:10 PM

NFL Institutes New Rules On Domestic Violence

 

You know it was only a matter of time before the league instituted some sort of official, on the books punishment for domestic violence after the Ray Rice situation. And yes, coinciding with Josh Gordon’s year long suspension made them look stupid. And yes, this is a reactionary move. And yes, the fact that Ray Rice will be out there Week 2 when its clear they truly feel like he should miss 6 games and be on the verge of a lifetime ban if he had another incident all looks very foolish.

But what can you do? I guess you can sit down and plan out punishments for every single crime so that there’s never anything in question but I don’t think thats realistic. There hadn’t really been any past incidents of this magnitude (that I know of) where they needed to address a player’s domestic violence issues. Now, unfortunately, an issue arose, they did what they could under the rulebook, and have amended it going forward. Its not perfect but its a step in the right direction.

My question is, do you have to get convicted? Like there were never any charges against Ray Rice but he still got suspended. If there is just evidence of an assault can you get that 6 game suspension and a subsequent lifetime ban? Because I’m not trying to go all Stephen A Smith on you here but domestic disputes can be messy, murky situations. Ray Rice’s was obviously very clear cut but if there’s an argument and a push or a grab or something along those lines after a slap in the face or an instigation of some sort, who’s to say what that amounts to? Definitely dont want to protect any scumbags but also dont want to see lifetime bans if everyone involved doesnt get due process.

By KFC posted August 28th, 2014 at 2:53 PM

Panda Fakes Being Pregnant To Get Extra Bamboo

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NEWSER) – A panda research center in China called off what would have been the first-ever live broadcast of a panda birth after determining that panda Ai Hin wasn’t pregnant—just crafty. Pregnant pandas at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding get special treatment, and while “phantom pregnancies” among pandas are fairly common, experts suspect Ai Hin was actually faking symptoms, including reduced mobility, to get herself treats like extra bamboo, CNN reports. ”After showing prenatal signs, the ‘mothers-to-be’ are moved into single rooms with air conditioning and around-the-clock care,” an expert at the base explains. “They also receive more buns, fruits, and bamboo, so some clever pandas have used this to their advantage to improve their quality of life.” There are just 1,600 giant pandas left in the wild, so the breeding program is crucial to the species’ survival, though only around a quarter of captive female pandas give birth, AFP notes. (One person who took a surprising interest in panda sex: Richard Nixon.)

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, worse than a bitch who fakes pregnancy. I dont care if you’re some chick trying to get a ring or get an ex back or a giant panda trying to get extra bamboo. Theres just a certain line you dont cross and pretending you’re knocked up is one of them. I mean how do you think all those other pandas feel about you now? You’re just some ratchet THOT panda trying to bogart all the bamboo. Whole fucking species is on the verge of extinction and Ai Hin just wants all the bamboo and buns and fruits for herself. Keep up that act, bitch. Keep faking reduced mobility and shit for all the panda snacks. When all your panda friends are fucking dead and you’re the only bitch left on earth you won’t think you’re so clever.

By KFC posted August 28th, 2014 at 2:20 PM
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