New Haven, CT
January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
Sun National Bank Center
February 28th, 2014 9:00 PM
Fordham is the first DI team with a 4,000 yd passer (Nebrich), 3 1,000 yd receivers (Ajala, Jones, Wetzel) and a 1,000 yd rusher (Koonce).
— WFUV Sports (@wfuvsports) December 2, 2013
Don’t worry Towson. After Nebrich and his army roll you over-confident assholes, I’ll make sure Pres schedules a Blackout Tour stop for you guys. I know how much you guys like to fuck and party. Help ease the wounds of losing to the guys from the hood.
For any Fordham alum interested, Rathbones is gonna be airing the game on their big screen. $10 pitchers and free Fireball shots to anyone in a Fordham jersey.
Huff Po – All those late nights that children of the ’80s and ’90s spent curled up with a flashlight, reading “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark,” will finally get a new life in the form of a movie. That’s right, everyone’s favorite childhood fright-fest is heading to the big screen. Deadline.com reports that CBS Films has accepted a pitch from “Saw” writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan to transform the classic short stories into a movie that centers on a set of outcast kids who work to save the town when their nightmares become a reality. That means “The Big Toe,” “The Hook,” “The Dead Man’s Hand” and some of the other tales that still haunt your every being after all these years could be fodder for cinematic screams. We all know the books’ original illustrations by Stephen Gammell amplified their terror, so here’s hoping they’ll be incorporated somehow. (Contention arose in 2011 when the books were rereleased for their 30th anniversary with — gasp – new illustrations.) Alvin Schwartz wrote three “Scary Stories” editions, each released between 1981 and 1991. Based on folklore and urban legends, the American Library Association named them the most frequently challenged books of the ’90s and the seventh most frequently challenged of the 2000s. There’s no word yet on which tales will be incorporated in the movies, nor who will direct the project.
When it comes down to scary stories from the 90s, there are 3 pictures that sum it all up. The first is this:
The second is this:
And the last one, and the originator of it all, is the cover of Scary Stories to Tell In The Dark:
If you didn’t read this book when you were a kid and shit your pants a little bit, then you’re either illiterate or you’re the baddest, toughest son of a bitch on the planet. Because these stories were fucking terrifying. I mean I still have nightmares about “Me Tie Dough-ty Walker!” And I still have no idea what the fuck that means or why its even supposed to be scary. Those black and white illustrations were terrifying enough, I flat out don’t know if I’ll be able to handle a motion picture.
Ellsbury gets $153 million. Cano gets the 4th largest contract in MLB history. People are saying I look like Tom Brady. Its like everything is coming up roses for everybody else except for you. So now its your turn. Fan Duel Friday is here once again. Time to bring some of this good fortune your way. $25,000 up for grabs. Get involved.
1. $25,000 in prizes
2. $4,000 for 1st, $2,500 for 2nd, $1,500 for 3rd
3. Prizes down to 70th place
4. $50 entry
Perfect timing for the Coupons, I mean Wilpons. After the reports we saw this week it felt pretty certain Grandyman was gonna be coming across town to Flushing. But getting this deal done and being able to announce it literally minutes after the Yankees lost Cano to the Mariners for $240 million is literally a dream come true for the Wilpons. For maybe the first time ever, the Yankees lose their All Star future cornerstone to free agency as the Mets open up their wallet to land their man. A guy who’s a lefty power bat who played in the Bronx the past couple years, nonetheless. I’m sure the Wilpons love the headlines and the PR thats resulting from this fallout more than the potential of having an outfielder who can knock 30 home runs.
Thats kinda what scares me about this move though. As I said yesterday, its a definite upgrade in the Mets outfield. You know exactly what you’re getting and not getting with Granderson. And what he brings to the table is exactly what they need right now. They need to plug about 4 or 5 or 10 other holes before you can take them serious as a contender, but the move works and makes sense and placates the fan base for the time being. And thats what worries me. Is this just a relatively short term move acting as a band aid to keep the fans from rioting? Is this just a “Look at us! We’re spending! We’re trying!” move? I think we can all agree with the Harvey injury, the Mets timetable to try to contend got pushed back to 2015. Is Grandyman just a 2014 move to keep moving tickets? Or is it part of a bigger plan over the next couple season? Obviously hoping its part of a larger plan of more trades/signings/acquisitions.
9 Time Defending Champion and Current Ass Dynasty Queen: Kimberley Garner:
Challenger: Jaclyn Swedberg
As Pres said in his blog about her, shes the hottest chick on the GTA circuit right now. Just a fantastic, fantastic rump. 9 time winner Kimberley Garner goes for the first ever double digit GTA Champion, but the road goes through Swedbergs sandy cheeks. Who ya got?
Vote 1 for champion Kimberley Garner Vote 10 for challenger Jaclyn Swedberg
2/28 – Trenton, NJ – Sun National Bank Center (TICKETS ON SALE NOW)
Its about that time, folks! Time to fire up the tour for another semester of debauchery. Judging by the most recent Atlantic City Blackout, I’d say somehow this tour is actually getting stronger. Kids just love their womps and lasers and having sex with each other. Blackout Tour returns to NJ this February, get your tickets now!
2/28 – Trenton, NJ – Sun National Bank Center (TICKETS ON SALE NOW)
— Bob Sacamano (@playwithurcucc) December 5, 2013
So if you listen to any of the podcasts on KFC Radio you know I took engagement photos a couple weeks ago. Well the pictures finally have been released, and really only one word comes to mind:
I wasn’t sure if these pictures would ever see the light of day on Barstool. I clowned around about them on the podcast but I never intended on blogging them. Some things are sacred AKA some things will get you in big time trouble with your fiance. So I made sure I didn’t get tagged on any of the pics on facebook and I figured that would be that. Well yesterday I get a Gchat from the Roommate – “I tagged you in one pic. Its harmless.” Yea. Sure thing. Harmless. I felt like that scene in Jumanji when the game says there’s gonna be a monsoon and Bonnie Hunt is like “Well at least we’re inside” and Robin Williams is like “Yea…right.” No big deal. Just opened the flood gates to probably the most deranged group of people on the internet. I was still safe though. A couple people had seen them on facebook but nothing too crazy. But then the floodgates opened:
Patient Zero in this Outbreak was your boy Gaz. After that, the horse was out of the barn. The animals in the comments section had them. The fiance asked me if I could stop them from posting. I told her “It’s in God’s hands now.” You made your bed with tagging on facebook. Now its time to sleep. So without further ado, lets get right into it. Breaking down your boy KFC’s appearance in his fancy photo shoot:
Hey eyeball! Wake up bro! Its engagement photo time! Jiminy fuckin cricket. There’s lazy eyes, then there’s unemployed eyes, then there’s dead eyes, THEN my eye. Photographer was like “KFC, stop winking for the camera!” I was like “I’m not!”
I feel like I should list out where you can buy my clothes like they do in magazines since this is such a good fucking picture. Blue plaid shirt with black and yellow checkered cuffs/collar – Banana Republic – $59.95. Black V neck sweater – Banana Republic – $89.95.
KFC – smut peddler, athletic phenom, wine connoisseur. Say what you want about me but I’ve got the nicest head of lettuce at the Stool. My neck scar also = sexy.
Oh snap! Black and white! Sophisticated as fuck. How about the candid nature of this one too? I bet you’re all like “I wonder what he was saying when this picture was taken? Something romantic and intriguing, no doubt.
Continuing with the wine theme, this is in my local liquor store. The photographer asked us what our favorite spots in the neighborhood were. I told her the liquor store. Here you’ll see me holding a bottle of win 5 times as expensive as I usually would buy.
One word for this picture: Iconic. Wouldn’t be surprised if they mass produce this one and sell it in poster form.
Casual. Yet striking. And yes, I had to put on some nice shoes for the photoshoot. Took a break from #Clancying for the afternoon.
Oh shit! Wardrobe change! Rockin that purple, son! Color of royalty, in case you didn’t know. Also brought my main man Duncan into the shoot. My good looks – my lazy eye + the cute puppy = unstoppable.
Care Boy! Smoochie poochie!
And here’s the infamous picture. Like I said earlier in the blog, if you listened to the podcast you know the back story behind this picture. Me and the Roommate take Duncan into the park near the East River. Gonna get a shot of us sitting in the leaves with him. I go to sit down and I put my hand down on the ground – right into a pile of dog shit. So there I am, middle of the shoot, hand full of poop. So what did I do? What any other professional male model would do. Put on a playful yet sexual smile and knocked it out of the park. You think I was gonna let some poop between my fingers stop me? For sure not. This was Sexy Time, folks. Not letting anything get in my way.
Now listen I’m sure a bunch of you hardo tough guy single idiots are gonna call me gay and tell me I’m a faggot and I’m whipped and all this other garbage. Fact of the matter is engagement photos are basically standard these days. You man up, take some pictures and make your lady happy. And speaking of my lady, it has absolutely rocked Stoolies to the core that I have a hot chick. Like they have no idea how to operate anymore:
Amen, John Pierce. Amen. Your father knows whats up.
PS – Best picture from the whole thing:
Is that real life? Doesn’t get any better than that.