Hey Lady, When You Pluck Feathers From A Bird And Eat It On The Subway It Scares The Other Passengers

 

MONTREAL – Montreal police are looking for a woman who shocked commuters by plucking and eating a raw bird on a moving subway train. One disgusted passenger filmed the scene in the subway, known as the metro, and posted the video to YouTube. He said the incident took place on July 1. The clip shows a young woman seated in the metro car and wearing a bikini top and miniskirt. She can be seen leaning over a plastic bag, taking small items out of it. Several passengers who approach her are seen quickly walking away with looks of shock on their faces. “I’m going to vomit,” the man who was videoing the scene can be heard saying. Moments later he added: “And she’s eating it! She’s eating it!”

 

 

A fast paced life calls for fast paced meals.  My guess is this lady has a high powered job in Montreal and eats only one meal a day.  Picture Katherine Heigl’s character in every move ever.  That’s what this lady is.  A career woman.  Constantly on the go, no time to stop and get a real meal at McDonald’s or Subway.  Surely no time for a boyfriend but that’s another story for another time.  But people gotta eat, right?  Right.  So you take what you can get.  Snatch a bird out of the air, snap it’s neck and pluck it’s feathers.  Boom.  Dinner.  That’s a meal.  All the other passengers need to calm the hell down.  Just a lady trying to survive the daily grind.

PS- I could’ve used a little more can-do attitude from the guy holding the camera.  When you see a woman plucking the feather off a bird and eating it I need you to be Anderson fucking Cooper out there.  Or a weather man whenever a bad storm hits.  Get up in the filth and the chaos and the destruction.  Don’t stand by the door and film from a distance.

By trent posted July 25th, 2014 at 3:40 PM

KFC Radio: The Dog Days Of Summer

 

Subscribe to KFC Radio on iTunes || Subscribe to MailTime on iTunes

Download the free KFC Radio app – iPhone | Android

 

 

Another round in the books. I think one of the biggest disagreements this episode was “would you watch a porn starring the hottest girl in your high school, your white whale, if the dude she was fucking was your dad?” I said no, because I don’t watch porn without jerking off and I can’t jerkoff to a porn with my dad in it. The other two could, they said you have to watch it if it’s starring your white whale. I guess I’m weird, but my dad and I have a pretty good relationship, and the foundation that relationship is built on is that I’ve never watched him have sex. Ruin that and the whole house crumbles.

 

 

 

PS – There was another question about “What dinosaur would you be?” I said I’d be a velociraptor because they’re like a puppy and so am I. People thought that was dumb. Velociraptors are absolutely puppy like. They’re small and quick and operate in busts of energy. People didn’t like that response because “no dinosaur is like a puppy.” Well, idiots, no human is like a dinosaur either, yet there we were debating it. I still say that a raptor is the most puppy-like of the dino kingdom, if you’ve got a better answer then you let me know. I think Kevin summed it up best as we continued to debate it later that day, “our show is so fucking dumb it’s incredible.”

 

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 3.48.36 PM Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 3.48.51 PM

By feitelberg posted July 25th, 2014 at 3:37 PM

Yankees Somewhat Weekly Round-Up

yanks

I woke up this morning to find out that the Yankees are in a Wild Card spot but with Toronto coming to town, we can control a lot of our own destiny. The combo of us playing Toronto and the O’s out in Seattle means that as long as we win, every other result brings us closer to the playoffs. No huge stories to report today so let’s run through a bunch on Yankees news and notes. Real news at the top and jokes at the bottom.

Chase Headley: Love the move. The guy has been hot for the last month and is making immediate contributions while only costing the Yankees $3mil for the rest of the year. Who knows, maybe we keep him after he helps win a World Series this year.

Cliff Lee: Dude is not the answer for the Yankees. I am all for making a run every year, and do think the Yankees can this year, but not with Cliff Lee. If the Yankees were to trade for him, he would be another overpaid antique that is a shell of himself. Let’s also not forget that Lee has a no trade clause and has opted to not be a Yankee in the past, plus his wife hate Yankee fans. Overall if we were 1 guy away from making a run, Lee could be the guy but we are a few pieces away and Lee doesn’t fit in that puzzle.

Other Trades: Last night the Yankees traded for Chris Capuano who has been dogshit for 2 other organizations this off-season but in the end he is probably a non-factor. Cashman is out trying to find an arm and a bat but in the meantime he is making incremental improvements to this roster, incase the big splash isn’t there. So far the minor moves have improved this team and Capuano is just an emergency arm. There is also talk of bringing back Ian Kennedy but a fly ball pitcher in the Bronx will not work out well. Look for a move to get a lefty starter soon.

Tanaka: 10 days into 40 days of rest and things are not looking good. Tanaka is still complaining about arm discomfort and i would not be surprised if we heard word come down soon that Tanaka is shut down for surgery so he could come back for the 2nd half next year.

Pineda: Pineda has been throwing again and has a simulated game today. If all goes well, he will make a rehab start next week and begin his push back to the big leagues. In all likelihood, he will be getting an MRI tomorrow for some setback and I will flip my shit.

Chuck Knoblauch: Arrested for hitting his ex-wife but, if you look at his mugshot he should be arrested for looking like hot dogs smell. Does he think that hitting women is the same as sleeping with them? Like once you bang a girl you can do it again cause she doesn’t want to get her numbers up, but in this case you can just hit them again and again even after your divorce. It doesn’t work that way and the end of probation doesn’t mean you are free and clear to do it again.

Paul O’Neill Bobblehead Day: So Sunday is Paul O’Neill at the stadium and if you follow me on Twitter you know I LOVE O’Neill. Not in a “tummy sticks” way but in a “lets slam beers and break stuff as best friends” way. So I thought about going to the game just for the bobblehead and the beers I would drink, until I found out it’s only for fans 14 and under. I get that its a “toy” and all that shit but anyone 14 and under never saw him play and don’t know the joy of smashed water coolers. I know this is going to sound creepy but where the fuck am I gonna find a kid on such short notice? Update: Turns out it isn’t 14 and under so i don’t need any kids.


By jj posted July 25th, 2014 at 2:45 PM

Lil Wayne Is Starting A Sports Management Company And His First Client Is Cristiano Ronaldo

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 11.54.05 AM

 

 

CBS Sports- First it was Jay-Z and now rapper Lil Wayne is interested in getting into the sports management business and his first client is going to be a mega star. According to TMZ, Lil Wayne is starting his own company and will bring on Portuguese and Real Madrid soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo as his client. It’s a big fish to reel in for a first-time sports manager — probably the biggest in the world — but Ronaldo and Lil Wayne are friends, making the connection an easy one to make. More from TMZ on the arrangement: We’re told Weezy’s company will be working with PolarisSports — which is affiliated with the CAA agency and GestiFute — through which Ronaldo’s agent Jorge Mendes operates. Our sources tell us Wayne’s company will handle Ronaldo’s sports management affairs in the United States — everything from branding to marketing and endorsement deals. Even modeling.

This is either a really good idea or a really bad idea for Lil Wayne.  Rappers becoming agents can go one of two ways.  One the one hand, you have Jay Z.  He’s done extremely well in the sports management world.  Signing big names left and right and carving out a business model that basically says “I’m Jay Z.  I’m super popular and a great marketer.  I have the ears of the demographics you want to reach.  Let’s help you build a brand.”  It works well.  On the other end, there’s Master P who jumped into the sports management world and failed miserably.   Lil Wayne and his jump will probably fall somewhere in between (hopefully not below Master P).  The best part?  It’s going to be entertaining and we get to watch.  Nabbing Cristiano Ronaldo as his first client is a great start.  Can’t deny that.  The dude is wicked popular.  I promise you Lil Wayne’s newest venture will either be a smashing success or there’s going to be some hilarious downfall.  Because when a guy who has been hospitalized on multiple occasions for sipping too much sizzurp decides to become a sports agent, there’s not a chance in hell everything goes smoothly.  Buckle up!

By trent posted July 25th, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Kevin Smith And Tim Burton Talking About A Nicholas Cage Superman Move They Almost Made Is Pretty Cool

 

Full disclosure: I don’t know shit about any of this stuff.  Superman, comic books or any of the things they were talking about in that video.  Might as well have been speaking Spanish.  I’m not in touch with that world in any way, shape or form.  I like Kevin Smith.  I like Dogma.  I like Jay and Silent Bob.  All I know is that I’m pissed we didn’t get a Superman movie with Nicholas Cage playing the part of Superman.  Because who the hell doesn’t like Cage?  Exactly.  Would you go see a Superman with Nic Cage as the star?  Of course you would.  Everybody would.  I’d pay top dollar if that’s what it took.  The movie undoubtedly would’ve been terrible but that’s why it would’ve been great at the same time.  That’s what makes Cage movies great.  He’s a fucking whacko.  Putting him in a Superman suit and letting him go nuts is the recipe for a winner.  A blockbuster movie in every sense of the word.  I have no motivation to see any of the comic book movies that are currently being pumped out but hat’s because there’s no Cage.  But for whatever reason it didn’t get made and now there’s just going to be a documentary about what a Nicholas Cage Superman movie would’ve been like.  Laaaaaaaame.  Give me the real thing or give me nothing at all.

PS- Why not just make it now?  I’m sure Cage would be up for it.  Last I heard he was a billion dollars in debt and taking any movie role he could get.

 

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 10.26.06 AM

By trent posted July 25th, 2014 at 11:50 AM

Keith Olbermann Ripped The NFL To Shreds Over Suspending Wife Beater Ray Rice Only Two Games

 

Good ol’ Keith.  ESPN sucks for the most part.  You know this.  SportsCenter, which was once a staple in my life and probably yours as well, is a show I rarely ever watch anymore if ever.  They over cover things like Tebow and LeBron to a disgusting degree even when everybody is saying “Please stop.  For the love of god, stop”.  They employ ass hats like Rick Reilly and a washed up Chris Berman.  But one of the better things they’ve done in the recent past is hire back Keith Olbermann.  A guy who carries a ton of baggage (can’t stop won’t stop getting fired from jobs) but who brings along with it a TON of talent.  He’s really able to show off that talent when he wants to get something off his chest.  Ray Rice getting suspended for a measly two games for beating his wife unconscious and then dragging her out of an elevator is one of those times.  I do appreciate ESPN taking a hands off approach to Olbermann and letting him do his thing .  I’m sure he still has to get his segments approved but ESPN allowing one of their own to rip apart the most popular sport in the world is a testament to them.

By trent posted July 25th, 2014 at 11:00 AM

No Big Deal, A River In China Turned Blood Red Overnight And They Have No Idea Why

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 8.30.02 AM

 

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 8.30.57 AM

 

Sploid- Thursday morning the residents of Wenzhou, a well-known town in East China’s Zhejiang Province, woke up and discovered that their inner city river had turned blood-red. The oldest villagers said that this never happened before. And the cause of the pollution remains unclear. China Radio International reports: Inspectors from the Wenzhou Environmental Protection Bureau are taking samples and analyzing the cause of the incident. The villagers pointed out that there wasn’t a chemical plant along the upper stream. Local residents say the river was flowing normally at 4am, but it started to redden at around 6am, and in no time at all had turned as crimson as blood.

Hey guys, what the fuck is going on around here lately?  And by “here” I mean this big blue marble we’re all flying around on.  We’ve got commercial planes dropping out of the sky every other minute, hot sideline reporters curiously attacking blogs for not supporting wife beaters and now this.  Rivers in China turning red over night.  And when you ask people why such a thing is happening, they simply shrug their shoulders, shake their heads and have no fucking clue.  Comforting.  I’m comforted right now.  I’m not a religious man so I’m not going to stand here and say we’re on the precipice of the Rapture or some sort of The Leftovers situation but it’s hard to deny that we’ve had a weird week here on planet Earth.  Seriously, if another plane falls out of the sky I’m never getting on one again.  It’s that simple.  I’ve been to a few places and seen a few cool things, I’m okay with never stepping foot on another plane.  As far as this bloody river goes, let’s get it figured out.  Send over the best scientists in the world (maybe by bus).  Find the logical cause.  Bring me proof that the river is blood red because somebody flushed the wrong toliet and so much shit rushed into he river that it turned red. The world already is crazy enough now that we know people like Sam Ponder exist.  We need a logical explanation for this and not simply “We’re all fucked.”

By trent posted July 25th, 2014 at 10:10 AM

Minor League Baseball GM Gets A Prostate Exam While Singing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” Because Why The Hell Not?

Dallas News- We told you earlier this week about the general manager of the Rangers’ Single-A affiliate in Myrtle Beach, S.C., who volunteered to have a prostate exam during the 7th-inning stretch at a Myrtle Beach Pelicans game. Well, he did it. Pelicans GM Andy Milovich underwent the exam to raise awareness for prostate cancer during Thursday’s game against the Frederick Keys. “It wasn’t bad,” said Milovich. “The doc was done maybe 15 seconds into the song. I think my next exam is going to be a significant letdown.” It was the first prostate exam for the 45-year old, who hoped his efforts would help others get checked. “I had a college friend tell me that what I did inspired him to get his first exam, so hopefully this saves some lives,” Milovich said. “The amount of people, who are either prostate-cancer survivors or people who have lost family members to prostate cancer, who have said what tonight meant to them has been overwhelming.”

I mean sure, why the hell not?  Jackie Moon and the Flint Tropics would be proud of this kind of marketing.  You’ve got a sport that men love, why not teach them about prostate exams?  Nothing goes better with a Thristy Thursday at the ball park than a guy getting a doctor’s fingers stuck up his ass while he sings “Take Me Out To The Ball Game”.  That’s America.  Baseball, heavy drinking and ass play.  Have some fun with it and spread awareness while you’re at it.  It’s a good idea I guess.  He took it pretty well, right?  Like really well?  Like really really well?  Maybe too well?  Got all of the words of the song right and never showed any signs of being uncomfortable.  Not sure how that’s possible.  I’ve never had a prostate exam but something tells me I wouldn’t take it in stride like that.  I like the part where even the doctor was laughing like “What the fuck are we doing?”  Now all we need is a doctor to administer a “Turn your head and cough” test while somebody sings Take Me Out To The Ball Game and we’ll have men covered.

My reaction to getting a prostate exam will likely be similar to Peter Griffin getting a prostate exam.  Complete and total horror.

 

By trent posted July 25th, 2014 at 9:30 AM
© 2014 Barstool Sports | Disclaimer | Copyright | Privacy Policy | Media Kit