Dude Almost Kills His Son After Forcing Him To Drink A Whole Bottle Of Vodka To Teach Him A Lesson About Drinking

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Daily MailA 35-year-old father forced his 15-year-old son to drink vodka until he passed out as a punishment after he caught the teenager drinking, police have said. The boy, who has not been identified, had no pulse when authorities found him slumped over in the back of a car outside a home in Sweetwater, Tennessee on Saturday night. His father, Mark Allen Hughes, allegedly forced the teen to take part in a drinking game with him as they watched a Tennessee football game after he caught the boy drinking, WBIR-TV reported. A witness said Hughes gave his son vodka shots and said: ‘Take it. Take it. Drink up. You’re going to learn’, WATE reported. Relatives later returned to the home to find the boy passed out on the floor and, when they tried to take him to hospital, Hughes started fighting with them, they told police. When authorities arrived, they could not find his pulse and performed CPR on him until an ambulance arrived.

Just wait until the first time you get caught having sex, bro. Dad will teach you a lesson. Gonna order hookers and make you fuck until your dick falls off. That’ll teach you! I’d get caught doing all sorts of shit if this was my dad’s preferred punishment. Get caught smoking weed and drinking and partying all the time just to get dad to flood me with booze, drugs and pussy.

I think we can all agree this is the sort of discipline we need to be showing to children these days. Forget about hitting your kid with a switch just make him drink until his heart stops. Get caught with your hand in the cookie jar? Stuff their face with cookies until they cant breathe. Parenting through sheer gluttony. I mean it might be unconventional but I promise you that kid won’t be drinking vodka again any time soon.

By KFC posted September 19th, 2014 at 11:18 AM

Chris Carlin Calls Derek Jeter A Fraud

Look truth be told, I liked the Gatorade commercial. I dont think its as good as everyone is making it out to be. People are cumming in their underwear like its the best commercial of all time. Jeter hate aside, its just not that good.

But whether youre a Yankee fan or not, Chris Carlin has a point. This whole thing is so anti-Jeter. That commercial is SO anti-Jeter. This is a dude who did everything he possibly could to avoid the public and avoid rubbing elbows with the average Joe. He lives like a recluse in a secluded compound. Yea he signs autographs and hes a nice guy in press conferences, but if he actually liked interacting with fans and randoms he wouldn’t spend his whole life avoiding it.

But thats why I don’t blame him for these commercials. Because he has spent his whole life hiding. He has spent his whole life putting his team first. Except for the time he made the best shortstop in baseball play 3rd and never once endorsed him publicly when the media was crucifying him and presenting a huge distraction to the team that he could have ended with one quick statement. Other than that, he’s always put the team first. So let him enjoy his moment in the sun. He’s saying “fuck it, now its my time to shine.” And thats ok. He’s earned that. But lets just tell it like it is. I think thats my main issue with the Derek Jeter suckfest – its like the entire world has just decided to stop using their brains and are letting this guy completely dupe you. Everyone says I’m a hater and that I’m bitter and shit but I feel like me and Continent are the only guys being rational about this. Derek Jeter is a fucking SUPERSTAR bazillionaire athlete and somehow he’s got the whole world convinced he’s just an average guy. Hes doing these commercials for the money. He loves the spotlight. Hes arrogant, he’s cocky, he’s self centered. Because he should be! Hes one of the most revered sports icons of this generation and he loves that. Just because he’s played his cards right and trumps up this “Its not about me” routine to the public, thereby making himself an even more revered star, doesn’t mean hes not enjoying every single minute of the world sucking his dick. He’s been “on” for 20 years and he’s played the world like a fiddle and now this is his victory lap where he gets to soak it all in. Thats ok. But lets all open our eyes and be real for one goddam second. He’s a millionaire playboy with a ton of game and he’s snaked the whole world.

PS - Dropping in at Stan’s when the camera’s were rolling is a page right out of a politician’s playbook. He’s shaking hands and kissing babies for the spectacle of it all. If you can’t see that and you genuinely think that Derek Jeter is just that “different” from every other superstar athlete you’re just lawst.

Now tell me I’m wrong without mentioning that the Mets and my teams stink and just calling me a “hater.” I dare you.

Also, this was awesome:

By KFC posted September 19th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

ESPN Ranks All 122 Sports Franchises – Mets, Jets, Knicks, Islanders All In The Bottom 10

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ESPN – The method to our ultimate madness
First: Consulting firm Maddock Douglas surveyed 1,002 North American fans to form 25 criteria for what you want most in return for the emotion, money and time you invest in the 122 MLB, NBA, NFL and NHL teams.

Second: Teaming with NetReflector, an opinion research firm, ESPN.com asked fans to rate their home teams in each area; more than 101,000 of you did! We grouped grades into the categories below. Royals fans, for example, ranked Kauffman Stadium much higher (29) than owner David Glass (112).

Third: Our final measure, bang for the buck, uses calculations developed with Oregon’s Warsaw Sports Marketing Center to figure how well teams turn fans’ money into wins. FINALLY We combined each team’s score across all categories into a weighted average. For example, since fans ranked players as more important than ownership, the former counted for 13.9 percent of a team’s final score versus 11.3 percent for the latter. The result? Fan opinion combined with an objective gauge of the cost of winning. Ultimately, everything counts.

Affordability
Price of tickets, parking and concessions
1. Grizzlies
122. Maple Leafs

Coaching:
Strength of on-field leadership
1. Spurs
122. Panthers (NHL)

Fan relations
Courtesy by players, coaches and front offices toward fans, and how well a team uses technology to reach them
1. Spurs
122. Knicks

Ownership
Honesty; loyalty to core players and the community
1. Spurs
122. Marlins

Players
Effort on the field, likability off it
1. Spurs
122. Knicks

Stadium experience
Quality of venue; fan-friendliness of environment; frequency of game-day promotions
1. Giants (MLB)
122. Islanders

Bang for the buck
Wins in the past year, per fan dollars
1. Pacers
122. Maple Leafs

Title track
Championships won or expected within the lifetime of current fans
1. Cardinals (MLB)
122. T-Wolves

Number 113, 116, 118 and 121 out of 122. Is that good? What? No? Its actually the worst scenario you can possibly imagine? Oh ok then.

You know who’s surprised by this right now? Everyone who’s not a Mets, Jets, Knicks and Islanders fan. Those are the people going “Wow I knew it was bad, but I didnt know it was that bad.” The people who are fans of these teams arent fazed by this one bit. I’ve been telling you how bad it is for years. Ive been telling you the city of Cleveland cant hold a candle to us when it comes to misery. Ive been telling you that when you take everything into consideration being a fan of the Little Brother teams in NYC is as bad as it gets as a sports fan. Now you have it all quantified for you.

But its also why I think the Mets Jets Knicks Isles fan base are the greatest fan base in all of sports. You know how easy it would be to jump ship and join the Yankees/Giants/Rangers bandwagon? You know how easy it would be to just walk the fuck away? Just give up on sports all together and go be some hipster or something? So goddam easy. Yet here we are. Die hard fans of 4 (three, really) of the worst 10 franchises in all of sports. The most expensive, unlikeable, poorly run teams in all of sports and we’re still here – day in and day out – waiting with bated breath for championships that are never coming. Not only that, but we’re still calling sports radio and columnists are still writing about us and idiots like me are still blogging about us. The Mets can lose a game in May and be on the back page. The Jets are still one of the most talked about teams in the city. The Knicks havent been a contender in ETERNITY and they still are the most beloved franchise in the city. The day that one of these teams win a title will be the single most rewarding moment in sports history.

PS – That day is never coming.

PPS – And you guys wonder why I’m not a ball of sunshine.

By KFC posted September 19th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Alicia

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Introducing Alicia from Jefferson.  Strong end to the smokeshow week.  See you all Saturday at Suite 36.

Nominate a smoke by emailing a name and Facebook link to beardobarstool@gmail.com

 

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By beardo posted September 18th, 2014 at 5:28 PM

Mexicans Are Pissed At Miley Cyrus For Desecrating Their Flag With Her Fake Ass And Trying To Send Her To Jail

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Daily MailMiley Cyrus is facing potential jail time for desecrating the Mexican flag, claims a new report. The 21-year-old performed a show in Monterey, Mexico, on Tuesday night where she engaged in her now standard twerking antics while wearing a comically large prosthetic bottom. Midway through her performance, Miley got down on her hands and knees as a male back up dancer whipped her rear with a Mexican flag. The incident took place during Mexican Independence Day and officials in the country are not taking kindly to the star’s disrespectful behaviour, according to TMZ. The state congress of Nuevo Leon are apparently wanting to prosecute, the crime of desecration carries serious consequences with a $1200 fine and up to 36 hours in jail time.  Meanwhile, Miley has continued to shock with her revealing costumes and rebellious antics on stage across the globe. The We Can’t Stop singer was also seen grinding against a man dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

You never really know what headlines you’re gonna get as a blogger. But this here is proof positive almost anything is possible on the internet. The story reads like a fucking Mad Libs. ___ are pissed at ____ for desecrating their flag with ___. Mexicans, Miley Cyrus, prosthetic ass.

I would pay top dollar to see Miley Cyrus thrown in jail for this shit. Like some sort of Locked Up Abroad story, Miley has to go to a Mexican prison because some backup dancer flossed in between her fake butt cheeks with their National Flag. I mean if you’re Miley and her dancers you gotta know this kinda shit is off limits. Any country would be upset but Mexicans do NOT fuck around with this stuff. You dont touch the mask of a luchador wrestler and you do not disrespect the Mexican flag. Doesn’t matter who you are.

PS – “The We Can’t Stop singer was also seen grinding against a man dressed as Abraham Lincoln.” made me laugh out loud.

PPS – Big Cat’s biggest regret of his entire blogging career has to be when he went through his Miley phase right?

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 5:00 PM

Super Aggressive Shirt Of The Week – New York City, Staten Island Ferry

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Hey KFC,
My friend sent me this pic while she was on the ferry. Most aggressive shirt of all time, or most aggressive shirt of all time?
Thanks,
Nick

Sometimes when you’re on public transportation you scan the train, or the subway, or the ferry and you look at some of those strangers and you think: “Whats that guy’s deal?” Where do they work? Where are they going? What are they going to do today?” Well the Bootleg Rick Ross on the ferry just letting everyone know his future intentions. He’ll be cumming soon in a mouth like yours. Let that one marinate for a little bit. You’re crossing the river heading into work worrying about ALT E S V and pivot tables and this guy is just figuring out which mouth he’ll be cumming in later.

Previously in the Super Aggressive T Shirts Of NYC:

Dick is too big, might kill someone on the 1 Train

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I Pee On Bitches on the A Train

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I FUCK LIKE A BEAST at Rockefeller Center

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By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 4:10 PM

How Fucking Weird Is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Instagram Post Wishing His Son A Happy Birthday?

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Well this is just about the weirdest goddam thing I’ve ever seen. Happy birthday to my son, here’s a picture of us peeing in one of those trough urinals. Somehow, I expect nothing less from Arnold. Most dad’s post a picture of them just hanging out together but not Arnold. Not manly enough. He searched through all his pictures like “I need a macho picture for my son’s birthday. Ah, here’s one of us pissing together. Perfect.”

Shout out to Daniel for the pic

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 3:52 PM

Draftkings Is Doing Another “Sunday Million” Challenge for Week 3

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CLICK HERE TO JOIN SUNDAY MILLION

Here’s a big surprise: Week 2′s Sunday Million Challenge was such a big hit, Draftkings is running it back for Week 3. Who would have thought that giving away a million dollars worth of fantasy football money was going to be a popular idea! Color me shocked!

There’s a reason why these Draftkings challenges are so successful. Because people love football and they love money. Pretty simple folks. Its not rocket science. So if you’re like money and you enjoy watching football and you havent dont a Draftkings tournament yet, what are you waiting for? Here are the details:

Contest Details, Week 3:
-Back by popular demand: The NFL Week 3 Sunday Million
-Another shot at $1,000,000 in Guaranteed prizes
-$100,000 to first place, top 8,500 scores paid out
-$27 entry fee, 42,000 total entries

CLICK HERE TO JOIN SUNDAY MILLION

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 3:10 PM
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