How about Larry Tynes coming in hot last night? Just stirring pots and taking unprovoked shots literally for no reason. I kinda like the fact that he just took to twitter to shit on Peyton and back his quarterback but there’s absolutely no reason for this. Like I bet even Eli would take a page out of Peyton’s book and be like “Thats just some liquored up kicker running his mouth.” Just stirs up controversy for both guys for absolutely no reason. Its actually pretty hysterical when you think about it. Just a straight up fan, troll move.
And really I think we can all safely say there’s just no debate anymore between Eli and Peyton. Really there really probably never should have been a debate, but at one point when Eli had 2 rings and a lot less shitty seasons under his belt, you could make a case, albeit a weak one. But now there’s absolutely nobody in their right mind that can say they’d actually take Eli over Peyton anymore. Not in any circumstance. Not for a season, not for 1 big game. Not under any circumstances is anybody taking Eli over Peyton. You can tweet about it and talk shit on the internet and argue with your buddies in favor of Eli, but when the chips are down, if fantasy sports become real life for a moment and you were actually picking between the two, there’s just no way you’re taking Eli over Peyton. Period.
So I went about 95% dark the past couple weeks. Tried to stay completely off the grid and detach from my phone and the internet and the blog and all that jazz. I ended up checking in here and there and over the course of 2 weeks there was 3 stories that continually popped up each time.
1) Ebola – The world has ebola fever. Literally and figuratively. I thought there was a 500% chance I ended up getting stopped at JFK or some shit getting screened for Ebola. And of course there was a part of me that was like “Hmm well that means I’ll get quarantined for a few weeks and wont have to go back to normal life just yet.”
2) Iggy Azalea vs Snoop – If people weren’t yelling at Obama for creating Ebola, they were taking sides in Iggy vs Snoop. Biggest rap beef since Jay and Nas.
and last but not least was the dude who allegedly had been shitting wrong for 30 years coming in at #3. Smitty blogged it on Philly. I spent a couple nights of the honeymoon sitting at dinner, eating pasta and sipping wine thinking about some dude shitting on the toilet incorrectly that long. Of course the prevailing thought is that this is fake…but what if it wasn’t? Strange shit gets revealed with people’s pooping habits. The whole Barstool world was set on fire when people learned that guys out there wipe standing up. There’s definitely a possibility some idiot out there thought toilet seats were for girls only. What if…30 for 30 presents The Man Who Didn’t Know Shit.
Shout out to @MCarmelengo for the vid. Nice work Mike
BOMB SQUAD. My Islanders sitting pretty atop the Metro in the early going of the NHL season. Sure, I was out of the country for their first 4 Ws. Yes, the day I got back to America they lost their first game of the year. But this all means nothing. The Bandwagon is full speed ahead at this point. Johnny Rocket already leaving his mark with this team. Halak is a real life, NHL goaltender. JT laying the foundation for his first MVP season. Diesel, Matty Martin, KO, Brock and the rest of the gang are full speed ahead for the Drive For 5.
They’re all you need $10,000. Just load up on my Isles and watch the money roll in. There’s $75,000 in total prizes, so don’t worry – even if you dont take my advice there’s always 2nd place and a lot more prize money to be won. Its by far our largest pot of money for an NHL challenge, so if you’re a hockey Stoolie, now is your chance to shine.
-$75K Light the Lamp Fantasy Hockey Contest
-$75,000 in total prizes, $10,000 to first place
-$27 entry fee, 3150 total entries
-Top 630 fantasy scores are paid out
If you any needed any more proof that the art and fashion world is complete bullshit, look no further than this hoodie. Some dude Mark Gonzalez makes a hoodie about giving people golden showers and people willingly pay money for it. Incredible. I can’t even knock it. But it just pisses me off that there’s probably some trendy face pissing posers who wear this shirt just because its “artsy” and “fashionable.” Only way you should get to wear a shirt like this is because you pee on people’s faces. R Kelly can rock this. I suppose Cytherea can rock this depending on what you think might be coming out of her. But the rest of the people rocking this are just phonies.
Previously in the Super Aggressive T Shirts Of NYC:
Dick is too big, might kill someone on the 1 Train
I Pee On Bitches on the A Train
I FUCK LIKE A BEAST at Rockefeller Center
Cumming Soon In A Mouth Like Yours – Staten Island Ferry
(CNN) – A man who checked in to the Navy’s Substance Abuse and Recovery Program for alcoholism treatment was also treated for a Google Glass addiction, according to a new study. San Diego doctors say the 31-year-old man “exhibited significant frustration and irritability related to not being able to use his Google Glass.” He has a history of substance abuse, depressive disorder, anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder, they say. The man was using his Google Glass for up to 18 hours a day in the two months leading up to his admission in September 2013, according to the study. He wore it to work and reported feeling more confident in social situations while wearing it. He removed it only to sleep and bathe, according to the study authors. The controversial eyewear allows users to access online information, shoot photos or video and send messages. It is controlled by voice or by using the tiny touchpad on its side. Potential dangers of wearing the device, including decreased awareness and headaches, have been documented. Google Glass users frequently reach for the device, tapping near their temples to control its features; this patient repeatedly did the same, even when the device was not there. ”He reported that if he had been prevented from wearing the device while at work, he would become extremely irritable and argumentative,” the doctors write. This is the first known case of Internet addiction disorder involving Google Glass, according to the study authors. It is not a recognized disorder in the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the go-to resource book for mental health professionals. After 35 days at the center, the patient reported a reduction in irritability and was no longer repeatedly moving his hand to his temple. However, doctors say he continued to “intermittently experience dreams as if looking through the device.”
You know I was all set to make fun of this guy. Talk about how this loser walks around all day every day with that machine over his eyes like the black dude from Star Trek. Make fun of him for being some sort of nerd addict and being dependent on his computer glasses. But then I took a look in the mirror. I realized that I’m the fucking asshole who feels the need to tweet 24/7 about my life. I’m the asshole refreshing my news feed every two seconds during a sporting event or a TV show seeing what the rest of the internet is saying rather than just watching the fucking TV myself. I constantly hear phantom G Chat Beeps. Click over to my Gmail tab looking to chat and, nope, nobody is there you fucking weirdo. About 20 times a day I’m convinced my phone is vibrating in my pocket. Nope. Nothing. Just my thigh convincing me that someone is messaging me because I just wanna text. And its not just me either. Its all the selfies and the people who hold their phones up at concerts and all that other shit. We’re all addicted to these devices and shit. Only difference is this dude has a lot fancier technology than us.
PS – Can you just watch porn all day on Google Glass? Like can you see the porn and listen through an ear bud or something and nobody knows? I could see that getting real addicting real quick. Like its just white noise on in the background and you can focus in on it whenever you want. I’d probably rock that 18 hours a day too.
PPS – I absolutely know the name Geordi La Forge. Didn’t think the masses were nerdy enough so I went with “the black guy from Star Trek”