Alright, literally millions of people sent me videos of them doing Irish Truck Bombs. I’ve been doing nothing but watching them for a week straight. I’ve narrowed the field to 4 guys who I think are pretty legit when it comes to be an absolute filthy disgusting beer chugging mess. Conveniently there are 4 guys. So what I’m thinking is this: Moose as the defending Champ, and being the gentleman that he is and agreeing to yet another road game, gets and automatic bye into the Championship round. The 4 challengers, who I will seed 1 through 4, will square off in preliminary rounds, 1 vs. 4, 2 vs. 3, gotta win twice to get to the championship. Or should I just pick whoever seems to be the most legit challenger and do a 1 time contest versus Moose? Meet the challengers and then we’ll vote:
Challenger 1: Beer Olympics Mike
Mike chugged 12 beers in a combined 35 seconds over the course of 25 minutes at his beer Olympics. Chugging a pitcher of Bud Light and doing a Truck Bomb are a world of difference. I give Beer Olympics Mike the #4 seed. Can he make the jump from college to pro ball? He’s got a world of talent, he’s the size of a mosnter, and he has tribal tattoos. Tons of potential, but can he do truck bombs?
Challenger 2: Warrior Truck Bomb Guy
His boy sent me this video, and pointed out that he is chugging a full pitcher of Guinness, not just 3 pints. So thats why it takes him like 20 seconds. He promises that doing a normal truck bomb he’d be able to compete with Moose. I give Warrior Truck Bomb Guy the 3 seed. Its like he’s playing with a wooden bat by chugging a full pitcher of Guniness, when he could be using an aluminum bat and chug three pints. Nonetheless, we just don’t know how fast he can do the standard truck bomb
Challenger 3: Gump
It sounds to me like Gump only did 2 pints and 2 shots of Jameo, along with 3 Baileys. Standard Truck Bomb is 3 pints, and 3 shots of each. So, this may be somewhat concerning. However, this is the closest thing we’ve seen to IDrinkInMySleep and Moose. 2 seed
Challenger 1: The Number One Contender Jared
Truck Bomb scouts say they haven’t seen a competitor like this since Moose himself. No frills, no bullshit. No unofficial chugging. These are standard format Irish Truck Bombs going down in the 6-8 second range. Team Moose and the rest of New Jersey shakin in their boots.
So, what do you dicks think? Should I give Challengers 1-3 a chance to upset Jared and face Carpet Pisser Moose for the Crown? Or should I just cut to the chase, and have Jared square off against Moose? To me this is akin to the playoffs system vs. BCS system. My vote is for the Playoffs.
Vote 1 for Straight Up, 1 time, Jared vs. Moose similar to the first time, Vote 10 for 4 man playoff, winner faces Moose.