Daily Mail – She underwent surgery last weekend to boost her already C-cup breasts to a size DD. And now Courtney Stodden has revealed the results of her breast enhancement surgery. The 18-year-old reality star took off her healing bandages and stripped down into a black bikini to show off her new look in a new photo shoot. Looking down at her Beverly Hills surgeon’s handiwork, Courtney marvels over her new shape in the snaps. The blonde was photographed near her Hollywood home where she is currently recovering from the procedure.  She was joined by he dog ‘Dourtney’ as she posed make-up free for the camera in her skimpy two-piece and also at times a pair of denim Daisy Dukes.

How about that Courtney Stodden? Posing make-up free for the cameras. What else can you say about her? She’s just a natural beauty.

Here are the potential materials that were injected into Stodden’s C’s to turn them into DD’s:

5. 4 Jars of Green Play Doh – I don’t know why I picture green but I do. 2 jars per tit. And only after the doctor ran it through that spaghetti maker toy:

Not only would they feel doughy, but they’d smell good too

4. Giant handfuls of Sticky Hands from the vending machines

Hundreds upon hundreds of these sticky hands just stuffed right in through a hole in her nipple. Maybe even thousands.

3. Two Swimmies

Chick may literally has flotation devices.

2. Nikeolodoen Gak

1. Whatever Stretch Armstrong was filled with

Hardball Talk - Fun story from Jeff Passan at Yahoo!. In the course of his Matt Harvey/Zack Wheeler feature he passes along a tale from last year when Matt Harvey was a rookie and Jon Rauch was a reliever for the Mets. It seems that Harvey was trying to take a nap in the clubhouse and Rauch tried to haze him by tossing a bucket of ice water on him. Passan: “[Harvey] bounded up and challenged Rauch to a fight. Right there. Right then. He gave up 7 inches, about 75 pounds and a gallon or so of bad ink. It didn’t matter that he was a rookie. Harvey would not be a joke. He would not be a punch line in Rauch’s re-telling. He would not let some mediocre clown play him. Rauch backed away. From that day forth, everyone who witnessed the incident or heard about it understood a new Mets commandment: Thou shalt not trifle with Matt Harvey. And they gleaned something that they may not have understood at the time but certainly will going forward: If he can stand up against the big, bad leviathan and turn into the alpha dog just like that, so can the team that for the last five years has been nothing but joke after punch line after clown bait.” Great stuff. Of course it makes me wonder what would have happend if it was another player who challenged the veteran like that. One not as good as Harvey or as important to the Mets’ future. Or if Rauch wasn’t Rauch but was, instead, someone a bit more established and respected overall. Is Harvey a punk who can’t take a joke then? I’d think not as I feel like veterans hazing rookies in all sports is about as dumb as it gets and if I were Harvey I’d do the same thing, but I’m sure some would spin it that way if it were, I dunno,Jordany Valdespin. None of which says anything about Harvey or Rauch or Passan or anyone here. Just an observation about how stories like this tend to come out in such a way as to serve a story. The Mets’ mastery of the Braves yesterday can be likened to someone getting off the matt and refusing to take any more crap, if one were so inclined. If one were also so inclined this story could later be viewed in another way at another time for another story. It all depends on how Harvey’s career goes.

The legend of Harvey grows. The Hardball Talk dude is absolutely right when he says if Harvey was just an average rookie and Jon Rauch was a respected vet, this story would probably be spun saying that Harvey needs to pay his dues and know his place. But thats not the case. Harvey isn’t your average rookie. He’s already an elite top tier pitcher. He’s the cornerstone of the franchise’s future. Meanwhile, Jon Rauch is a Grade A, bonafide loser. A 7 foot tall scrub with the worst neck tattoos you’ve ever seen in your life. So when a nobody starts throwing buckets of water on a future Cy Young winner, you can forget about how many years of service are involved. And there’s absolutely no doubt despite being 6’4 225 staring down a guy who is 6’11 290, Matt Harvey would have thrown down with Jon Rauch and held his own. Like when you go to prison and you take down the biggest dude in the yard to establish dominance. Thats just the type of dude he seems to be. Just a nasty, mean dude who strikes people the fuck out, bangs out supermodels and takes absolutely zero shit from anybody.

Radar – Celebrity chef Paula Deen has admitted to using the N-word and telling insensitive racial jokes during a May 17 deposition that was videotaped — and also confessed to her brother’s cocaine, pornography and alcohol addictions! Paula, 66, admitted to using the N-word and wanting black waiters to play the role of slaves at a wedding party she was putting together, a new bombshell report from the National Enquirer claims. “The personal disclosures uncovered have stunned Paula’s family and could mark the collapse of her entire empire,” a source told the tabloid. The Emmy-winning kitchen queen was questioned for three hours because of the $1.2 million 2012 lawsuit in which the former General Manager of their Savannah, Georgia, restaurant, Lisa Jackson, claimed use of the N-word by Paula and sexual harassment and infliction of distress and assault by her brother Bubba Hiers. When asked by Lisa’s Atlanta-based attorney if she’d ever used the N-word, Paula responded, “Yes, of course,” and gave examples of times she used the offensive term. In terms of telling racist jokes, Paula said, “It’s just what they are — they’re jokes…most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks…I can’t determine what offends another person.” And when asked if she wanted black men to play the role of slaves at a wedding she explained she got the idea from a restaurant her husband and her had dined at saying, “The whole entire waiter staff was middle-aged black men, and they had on beautiful white jackets with a black bow tie. “I mean, it was really impressive. That restaurant represented a certain era in America…after the Civil War, during the Civil War, before the Civil War…It was not only black men, it was black women…I would say they were slaves.” During the deposition, Bubba also made shocking admissions, including using the N-word in reference toPresident Barack Obama. “While Paula and Bubba did make some pretty damaging confessions in their depositions, what they admitted to only scratches the surface of what actually goes on in their daily lives,” an insider told the Enquirer.

Paula Deen with the interesting approach here in her deposition. Going with the old “just be blatantly racist” defense during a case accusing you of being racist. Admitting you absolutely drop N Bombs and saying you dream of dinner parties with black slaves catering to your every need is probably not gonna go over too well. I mean I’m not one to throw stones as I sit here in my racist ass glass house. But when I use the excuse “Its ok! I make fun of Jews too!” its one thing. I’m a smut blogger. When you’re celebrity chef and cooking for families of all different backgrounds, you might wanna keep your dreams of the Aryan Nation Dinner Party to yourself. Not sure if reminiscing about pre-Civil War America is gonna be well received as a party theme. Might as well have thrown on your white hood and brought a burning cross to the deposition, Grand Wizard Deen.

Huff Po – There’s a buzz happening in Beverly Hills over a group of women who call themselves the “Marijuana Moms.” Many of the members of this loosely-knit group of pot-smoking parents smoke the wacky weed in order to relax or cope with chronic pain. In addition, they meet regularly for lavish dinners where the herb is a key ingredient in dishes like cannabis leaf salad, chicken fried in cannabis oil and marijuana milk shakes, Orange News UK reported. Cheryl Shuman, a 53-year-old mother of two, said the group’s joint mission is to show that smoking marijuana makes them better parents and better wives. ”We’ve all come up against people who say marijuana is for dirty druggies, but we are proof you can be good parents and productive members of society and use it,” Shuman said, according to the Daily Mail. “I like to think we are bringing some glamor and exclusivity to marijuana use.” One of of the marijuana moms, January Thomas, 37, not only tokes up to five times a day while she looks after her daughter, 2-year-old Zenna, but she reads her child books with titles like “Mommy’s Funny Medicine,” and “It’s Just A Plant.” “Marijuana makes me a better and more creative parent,” Thomas said in a video for Barcroft TV. “It puts me in the moment with Zeena and stops me worrying about everyday problems.”

Look I got no problem with substance abuse. I love that shit just as much as the next person. And I’m sure when you got kids you wanna drink and do drugs ten times more often than normal.

But spare me the dog and pony show about how it makes you a better parent. Spare me the early-onset arthritis sob story. Lets just be real here – you’re a pothead. You’re like being high as fuck because lets be honest – being high as fuck is awesome. Eating a scrumptious, fresh salad in your Beverly Hills mansion and getting fucked up from it sounds absolutely awesome. I’d join this club in a heartbeat. But don’t tell me you’re more creative and that helps you raise your kids. You don’t need to read them bedtime stories about smoking joints to try to justify you being stoned all day every day. Just admit to yourself you think you will be perfectly fine while you get fucked up a few times a day. You can get the standard job done just fine being high. All good in my book.

Worst one night stand ever.

NEW DELHI – It is a bit of a cliche to say that Indian society is in the throes of change these days. But it appears that the more things change, the more they remain the same. A court verdict in the southern state of Tamil Nadu on Monday seems to conclude that adult couples who have slept together should be considered legally akin to married. The judge directed a man to pay alimony to a woman who claimed she had lived with him for five years as his wife and gave birth to two children. The man, however, said they were not legally married. Justice C. S. Karnan said in his order, “If any couple choose to consummate their sexual cravings, then that act becomes a total commitment with adherence to all consequences that may follow, except on certain exceptional considerations.” The judge added that the rituals of marriage, such as going around the ceremonial fire, garlands and rings, were only for the satisfaction of society. He said that “both the petitioner and the respondent lived together as spouses and begot two children.”

Bang a bitch and you’re automatically married. What a fucking nightmare. Thank God this shit is only in India. Nothing that India does matters at all. The rules and laws on fucking Mars matter more than the rules and laws in India.

But can you imagine if this shit became universal? Could be the end of mankind as we know it. Would flip the entire human race upside down. You’d have conniving chicks straight up throwing the pussy at you in an effort to become legally married. Dudes ordinarily on the prowl for as much vagina as they can possibly handle would be hiding their dicks inside chastity belts. If every one night stand slip up meant you were immediately wifed up men and women’s roles would be 100% reversed. Dudes would be swatting girls’ hands away every time they started to take your pants off. We’d be telling chicks to just give us hand jobs because we’re not comfortable going any further. Girls would be offering blow jobs and anal and would never say no because they’d know it was the quickest way to land a husband. It would be pure anarchy. Straight sexual chaos if you upset the balance of power like this. India better watch the fuck out. Just when you think shit couldn’t possibly get any weirder over there, they might end sex as we know it.

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So my original idea for this show was to have big time KFC, Barstool haters come on the show. I wanted the dudes who spend every minute of the day commenting on blogs about how much we suck to come on and talk some shit. A chance to do some real life, face to face, back and forth banter between blogger and commenters. Naturally a lot of the biggest haters didn’t have the stones to come on. Pretty much everyone I called out pussied out.

So what we were left with was Wilburham and Numero Two. Goddy77 was supposed to come on too but he didn’t have a webcam capable of doing the hangout so he was on the outside looking it. Its a shame because Goddy77 used to absolutely hate my guts, he woulda been fun to bullshit with. Basically what I’m telling you is this episode ended up being 23 year old Wilburham legitimately living in his mom’s basement eating Fritos with a bag over his head babbling about his life as a commenter. Numero Two also recalls the story about the time he was in Montreal and may or may not have gotten his dick sucked by a tranny stripper. I was expecting a lot more hate and argument from the likes of a guy like Wilburham, but when he caved in and basically said he wasn’t as big of an asshole as he is in the comments section, it just got weird. The reason I’m telling you all this is just to brace you so you know what you’re getting into. If you thought you were gonna get a normal episode of KFC Radio, just understand what you’re gonna get is this:

Shout out to Wilburham and Numero Two for being the only guys willing to come on the show. And Goddy77 too, he tried. The rest of you are lame.

And the answer is Aline Bernardes. Boy did I jump the gun on this one. I saw a Brazilian chick, bent over, ass out and immediately called dibs on her without even looking closely at the pictures. Upon further inspection it turns out this was a photoshoot of what appears to be a Brazil tranny in front of a goddam construction site. Probably the least sexy photo shoot of all time. The fakest tits ever. Big time man face. And one of those Brazilian asses that its almost too meaty to even enjoy. I guess that the risk you run when you blindly see the words “Brazilian” and “ass” and you snatch her up as GTA. Sometimes its GTA Champion Jessie Rogers. Other times its this broad. What can you do.

US News – Rep. Michael Burgess, R-Texas, said Monday he is opposed to abortion because fetuses masturbate in the womb, and so can feel both pleasure and pain. ”Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, citing his experience as an OB/GYN, during a House Rules Committee hearing on a GOP bill that would ban abortions after 20 weeks. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?” Any media reports on masturbation by fetuses can almost exclusively be traced back to a single letterwritten by two OB/GYNs in Italy in 1996 and published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. The letter related an anecdote in which the two doctors had “recently observed a female fetus at 32 weeks gestation touching the vulva with the fingers of the right hand” before the female fetus experienced prolonged spasms, and “finally…relaxed and rested.”

Well what the fuck else are you gonna do in there? You’re just sitting in there for like 6 months once you’re big enough to know whats going on. I’d probably jerk off like 20 times a day if I was a fetus in the womb. And the last thing you want as a 15 week old baby is to be straight up aborted mid-stroke. I mean everything is pretty much perfect – you’re staring right at some pussy. You don’t need to worry about clean up since you’re all wrapped up in some placenta. I’d imagine its the same thing as J’ing off in the shower – just bust a nut and all the evidence disappears. And you have absolutely nothing better to do. Might as well start cracking your 4 month old dick. And then BOOM. You get fucking aborted. Talk about a kick in the dick. ”Aaaahhh, I’m masturbating! Take a good picture, mommy! I’M DEAD!!!

JunkFoodGuy - As soon as I bit into one of these Limited Edition Watermelon Golden Oreos, I got an immediate light watermelon taste.  I’ll just say it right off the bat….I liked these.  A LOT.  These DIDN’T overwhelm me with artificial (well, overly artificial) watermelon flavor.  Instead the immediate taste I got was a watermelon taste that tasted like, frankly, it had been blended with creme. So imagine a watermelon ice cream, emphasis on the cream.  Light and refreshing – sort of reminded me of  these old school watermelon ice cream cakes I’ve had in the past that looked like this. The Golden Oreo added a nice buttery sweetness to the whole thing. I am, frankly, SHOCKED.  These were good, REALLY good.  They didn’t have the overbearing sweetness that the Candy Corn Oreos or the Blizzard Oreos or even the Birthday Cake Oreos had.  No, these were subtle in flavor, with just enough watermelon to make me smile.  GOOD WORK, OREO.

Listen this JunkFood guy did a pretty good job explaining that these cookies were surprisingly tasty. Sounds like he’s as skeptical as I am of this unholy concoction but ended up liking them a lot.

But thats the difference between me and this JunkFoodGuy apparently. I’m just a natural, genuine junk food guy. I don’t need to make it my name and start a blog about my trials and tribulations of eating like shit. I’m a man of junk food principal and junk food integrity and thats why you’ll never see me taste testing these piece of shit watermelon sandwich cookies. This abomination is a direct slap in the face to a good, pure, and natural Double Stuf Oreo. When they invented the golden vanilla ones I thought they took it too far, but even I’ll admit those are actually pretty tasty. I still don’t even eat those though – again, just straight principal. Bottom line is if you’re at the store and plain Double Stuf Oreos and Watermelon Oreos are staring you in the face and you select Watermelon, you need to be deported. Kicked right out of the goddam country. Its just not right.

All thats left is to make a Fried Chicken Oreo and they’ll have their whole demographic cornered.

Watch your dick bro!

(Reuters Health) – Ouch: Boys know that toilet seats are an occupational hazard of potty training, but a new study suggests the number of genital injuries caused by falling toilet toppers is growing. Researchers found the number of emergency room visits for toilet-related injuries to the penis, while still rare, increased by about 100 visits each year between 2002 and 2010. Usually, the injuries happen when boys are learning how to urinate into the toilet while standing up and the seat falls unexpectedly – although a few adults did get snagged by the seat, too. ”It’s a toddler basically potty training who doesn’t have the most advanced motor skills and they just don’t have the reflexes to move fast enough,” said Dr. Benjamin Breyer, the study’s lead author from the University of California, San Francisco. Previously, the researchers found that about 16,000 men and women are sent to U.S. emergency rooms (ERs) with genital injuries every year. Breyer’s team was “pretty surprised” to learn that one in 30 genitourinary injuries showing up to the ER involved toilets. ”To us, that was striking. That was unexpected. You think of the bathroom as a safe place,” he said.. Using a national database of injuries caused by household products that were treated by U.S. ERs between 2002 and 2010, the researchers found 13,175 genital injuries related to the toilet or toilet seat. About 68 percent were so-called crush injuries, which is when the penis gets trapped between the seat and the bowl. Of those, about 97 percent were in children seven years old and younger. Only five adults were caught by falling lids.

First thing’s first, lets address the 5 adults who are getting their cock slammed by the toilet seat. How is that even logistically possible? As a grown man I cannot think of one normal scenario where your dick is low enough to be guillotined by a falling toilet seat. Unless you’re basically on your knees facing the toilet the height of the toilet and your dick just doesn’t make any sense. Those 5 dudes were jerking off right into the bowl and got caught be a falling toilet seat. They deserve everything they get.

Now on to these poor 7 year olds getting their dicks demolished by toilet seats. Jiminy fuckin Cricket thats gotta be the most traumatizing thing ever. Getting your schmeckle smushed by a heavy ass toilet seat is enough to make me give up on potty training all together. Like if that happened to me when I was 7 I would still be in diapers today. I would shit and piss in adult diapers all day long before I ever went near another toilet. Its like if you almost drown when you’re young so you grow up with a strong fear of water. Yea, I don’t go near toilets – one almost chopped my dick off when I was 7. If I was these kids’ father I’d stop making them train too. For God’s sake the toilet almost chopped their dick clean off their body. Teach the kid to poop in urinals and don’t force him into therapy for the next 20 years because he had the toilet bowl shoved down his throat growing up.

PS – Hey ladies I don’t ever wanna hear you complain about toilet seat drama ever again. A) Its ridiculous that you idiots just blindly sit down without checking if the seat is down. If you fall into a fucking bowl of water ass first that is your fault and your fault only. B) Has a toilet seat ever almost chopped off your pussy? No? Then shut the fuck up about the toilet seat.