GothamistA reader sent us these photos of a man selling a live shark at 1 a.m. on J train recently, telling us the guy was “calling out his product like he was a retro cigarette girl. He said he caught it at Coney Island after ‘it bit me in the ass.’ I told him I’m pretty sure sharks need to keep moving or they’ll perish, and judging by the small disposable cooler he was keeping it in, the fish has likely passed on.” This looks like a baby sand shark, which have been spotted in Coney Island a lot. The guy was asking $100 for it, but no straphangers took the bait (at least when our tipster was on board—he boarded at Essex Street and was headed towards Brooklyn).

Christ alfuckingmighty. I’m moving to Kansas City.

PS – I’m sick and tired of these mother fuckin sharks, on the motherfuckin J Train!