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By feitelberg posted January 29th, 2015 at 9:00 AM

Barstool NYC Smokeshow Of The Day – Alexandra

introducing alex from MIA. one of my long time follows since before i was “working” here. just a flat out 10 who pals around and wrecks beaches with angie varona. name a better pair of girls to play corn hole with, you cant. want to be/nominated a smokeshow? email me at tbonebarstool at gmail.com, (please [...]

introducing alex from MIA. one of my long time follows since before i was “working” here. just a flat out 10 who pals around and wrecks beaches with angie varona. name a better pair of girls to play corn hole with, you cant.

want to be/nominated a smokeshow? email me at tbonebarstool at gmail.com, (please include a link to instagram) or tag me in pics @tbonebarstool

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By t bone posted January 28th, 2015 at 5:30 PM

The Americans Returns Tonight

Most underrated show, and in my opinion the flat out best show, on TV returns tonight.

GREAT choice of music for this trailer with “I’ll Be Watching You.”

Most underrated show, and in my opinion the flat out best show, on TV returns tonight. If you arent in on the Americans, get in on it now. Binge the first 2 seasons as fast as you can because season 3 is gonna be fucking fantastic. The Centre is pushing for “second generation espionage” and are now targeting the children of Soviet spies. Stan Beaman is about to go on a fucking rampage after the events that went down with Nina. Philip and Elizabeth are on the verge of turning on Mother Russia for the sake of their family. Keri Russel hopefully continues to wear a lot of wigs and fuck a lot of guys. Season 3 and 4 are gonna be what launches this show into the mainstream, mark my words.

If you need a quick refresher on the things that went down Season 2 – here’s a step by step slide show that will remind you of the basics

And fuck NBC for making “Allegiance.” Just a watered down version of the Soviet spy storyline that the Americans crushes.

By KFC posted January 28th, 2015 at 5:00 PM

Vote For MailTime In The 10th Annual People’s Choice Podcast Awards

Its the 10th year for the People's Choice Podcast Awards, so that means its high time that Mailtime and Barstool Sports crashed the party. Lets win some hardware.

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So just yesterday I was informed of the People’s Podcast Awards. This year is their 10th year. A decade of handing out awards for the best podcasts out there. And as the website for the common man by the common man, its time that Mailtime and Barstool crash the People’s Choice Podcast Awards. I WANT THAT HARDWARE.

Right now we’re in the nominations phase. Between now and February 2nd the podcasts that receive the most nominations will be in the running for the awards come April in Las Vegas. Here’s how it works:

1. Go to PodcastAwards.com. Once you’re there you’ll see a blank slate of categories where you can put your favorite podcasts. Looks like this:

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2. Go to COMEDY and where it says “Podcast Name” in the first bar you put – BARSTOOL SPORTS MAILTIME. Where it says “Podcast URL” in the second bar you put podcastone.com/mailtime

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Thats it. Leave your name at the bottom and a comment if you’d like and press “Submit.”

If you want to vote for KFC Radio for “Best Video Podcast” just enter Barstool Sports KFC Radio and where it says URL use this link: http://podcastone.com/KFC-Radio (Has to be capital letters with the dash to work). If you want to throw Super Producer BC a bone as “Best Producer,” enter in Barstool Sports Mailtime and podcastone.com/mailtime

Mailtime listeners are some of the post supportive Stoolies out there so I’d love to get the show at least into the running for Best Comedy. I have no idea what the competition is like so who knows how hard it is to win, but when the nominations close on February 2nd I’d like for Mailtime and Barstool to be in there. Nominate as many times as you’d like. We may not know what the fuck we’re doing but people seem to like us. Thats the very definition of The People’s Choice. Thanks for the help.

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By KFC posted January 28th, 2015 at 4:17 PM

Texas Elementary School In Trouble For Making Kids Pull Down Their Pants For A “Poop Inspection”

Texas, forever

GUSTINE, Texas A group of students at an elementary school in Texas were apparently asked to lower their pants for a poop inspection on Monday. School educators told two dozen students they were regularly finding feces on the gym floor. The students were then separated into groups of boys and girls and ordered to “pull down their pants” so administrators could “check if they could find anything.” Maria Medina, whose 11-year-old daughter was searched, said her daughter’s privacy was violated. She told WFAA the teachers involved should be fired. Gustine Independent School District Superintendent Ken Baugh acknowledged that making kids drop their pants goes too far. However, he said the students were only asked to lower their pants a little. “That’s not appropriate, and we do not condone that. So you would take disciplinary action,” Baugh told WFAA. Baugh said the invesitgation should be wrapped up this week. Angry parents are planning to speak at a school board meeting on Thursday night.

Hey kids you dont wanna get surprise poop inspections at school? Maybe you should stop shitting on the gymnasium floor! Just a fucking thought! You know who doesnt get their assholes inspected during school? Children who dont shit on the floor.

We often complain that school doesnt actually prepare kids for the real world. In math class you learn the pythagorean formula and in science class you make a battery out of a potato and in english class you learn cursive. None of those are practical lessons for life. What we need to be teach these kids is how not to shit on floors. Thats a practical lesson that you’re gonna carry with you for the rest of your life. Learn how to poop right, kids. Poop goes in the toilet, not the floor. When every 12 year old graduating to Middle School has mastered the practice of proper pooping, thats when you can call yourself a successful school. A Blue Ribbon School, perhaps. And when you have some rogue shitters who cant hold it in or who poop on the floor as some sort of prank, its time to discipline those children. My logic is, if you dont have a poopy asshole, what do you have to hide? If you’re innocent just bend over and spread your cheeks. Let the pooping culprits get caught. Because if we have this “no poop inspection” rule across the entire school, well then we’re just coddling these children and raising an entire class of children to be floor shitters.

Lets focus on the basics of molding young men and women. Not pooping on floors. Then we can worry about the rest. Lets not put the cart before the horse.

Shout out to Above the Clouds for the link

By KFC posted January 28th, 2015 at 3:38 PM

Female Cop In Hot Water For Sending Colleagues Pics Of Herself Masturbating

I dont think I want female cops masturbating and sexting.

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Mirror – A female police officer has been suspended amid claims she let a male colleague take X-rated photographs as she pleasured herself in uniform at her station. The alleged incident came to light when the images were leaked to fellow officers and shared on social media, leading to them going viral in Puerto Rico. Senior officers on the Caribbean island quickly identified the officer in the snaps as Cynthia Marrero Pomales, 29, who is based in the town of Carolina.  One picture also shows her with a US flag draped over her body. The officer was immediately suspended over allegations she had offended the honour of the police force and damaged its reputation in public. According to reports in Puerto Rico, she has been interviewed and given a statement, although no details have been provided to local media. It is thought that Officer Pomales uploaded the images herself. However, it is understood that she had not intended for them to be seen outside of a small, private circle of friends.  Superintendent Jose Luis Caldero Lopez has confirmed the authenticity of the photos and that Officer Pomales has been suspended. It is not the first time a sex scandal has disgraced police in Puerto Rico. In 2014, two officers were sacked over pictures showing them engaging in a sex act inside the Presidential palace.

First thing’s first, I wish they kept the face pixelated. Because the first couple pics were blurry enough that I was like “Aye mami! Little Chiquita Banana Puerto Rican Minx!” Then you get a picture of her for real:

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And you realize its some busted woman with Portnoy’s nose finger blasting herself. Real mood killer.

Anyway I dont think I want female cops masturbating and sexting. I know its weird – I usually always want chicks fingering themselves and sending pictures of it. And I know cops deserve to have a normal life like everyone else. But I just dont think a chick getting duped into sending nudes is law enforcement material. We’ve all been down that road before trying to get a chick to send nudes. Its a little cat and mouse game. You’re more or less trying to trick her. You’re lying to her. Promising the pics are safe. Promising you’ll send something back in return. Trying to butter her up to the point that she finally goes against her better judgment and sends you a picture of her pussy. Does that sound like someone you want protecting you when your life is on the line? When shes engaged in a investigation trying to track down serial killer does she sound like the witty, clever genius who’s one step ahead of the murderer? Fuck no. You just sent her like 5 texts and persuaded her to show you all sorts of incriminating pictures of her fingering herself at work. Just seems like any chick who fires off nudes like these aint Puerto Rico’s Finest material. Find me some big, butch prude bitch. I want my female cops to look like Miss Trunchbull from Matilda. The girls sexting can go be meter maids or strippers.

By KFC posted January 28th, 2015 at 3:20 PM

J.R. Smith Blames His Struggles In New York On Going Out Too Much

In Other News, The Sky Is Blue, Grass Is Green, And The Patriots Are Involved In A Scandal

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NY Post-  J.R. Smith loved his time in New York, but now he sees he loved it too much.

Smith, traded to Cleveland earlier this month, has been re-energized by going from a last-place team to a playoff-bound team, and the enigmatic swingman also has found much more time to spend on his game, no longer distracted by the nightlife of New York City.

“I think this is the best situation for me, ’cause there’s nothing but basketball,” Smith said in an interview with NBA.com. “There’s nothing you expect but basketball. There’s nothing, there’s no going out, there’s no late nights. There’s video games, basketball and basketball. So it’s a great thing, ’cause I go back to where I came from. When I grew up, I never, I wasn’t allowed to go out. I missed my prom because I went to an AAU tournament, and all that stuff. For me, it was basketball, basketball, basketball.

Nooooo, not my little Earl!  The J.R. Smith I know was a true professional, both on and off the court.  I find it very hard to believe that he was too distracted by the New York nightlife to do his job well.

No NBA fan with a brain could be surprised about this news.  Everyone in New York knew J.R. was a fuck-up  the minute he arrived from China to play for the Knicks.  The only reason he was worth all the headaches is that his talent was much greater than the price tag the Knicks were paying.  Then he went out, won 6th Man of the Year, and basically priced himself out of the Knicks’ price range.  But unluckily for J.R. and the Knicks, the elbow to Jason Terry’s medulla oblongata ended up bringing down his price enough to make a New York reunion possible.

So I guess going to Cleveland to play with the best player in the universe and chase the dream of a championship would be the thing that turns J.R. Smith around, right?  Nope.  Just having absolutely nothing to do other than basketball, video games, and cow tipping is what has gotten him focused.  I actually respect Earl’s honesty in the matter.  Some players want to win all the rings (Tim Duncan), some players want to become businessmen outside of basketball (Carmelo, you fucking mutt), and some players want to complete 100% of Grand Theft Auto V (J.R. Smith).  God bless.  I’m just happy he’s not on my team any more.  The Knicks already have enough problems in this God damn world.

This was my favorite picture that I found as I looked for a J.R. Smith photo for the blog.  Turnt as fuck.

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By theclemreport posted January 28th, 2015 at 2:30 PM

Wednesday Afternoon MailTime – Snow Day

Its a kinda, sorta snowed in edition of Mailtime. Laziest hour of your day starts now.

Click here to download on iTunes

Premium Members can listen on the KFCRadio App on iPhone or Android

Poor people can listen on the Podcast One App

Blizmagedpocolypse has come and gone. Like one my many (few) sexual partners, we were left disappointed with the number of inches. We discuss the weatherman hysteria, debate the best type of snow days, talk life as a Cube Monkey working from home, the shitshow that is Super Bowl Media Day, how Deflategate parallels Serial, and a little Super Bowl Sunday talk.

Its a kinda, sorta snowed in edition of Mailtime. Laziest hour of your day starts now.

By KFC posted January 28th, 2015 at 1:40 PM
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