Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

Mets Trade Ike Davis To Pirates

Pick your poison, Mets. This shitty first baseman, or that shitty first baseman. They picked that shitty first baseman.

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Well, something needed to be done. This Duda/Davis on again off again platooning regiment just wasn’t gonna work. Too much uncertainty, too much stress on the manager and the teammates. Constant rewarding/penalizing every other game over the course of a full season is just stupid. So a decision needed to be made, and the Mets obviously put their eggs in Duda’s basket.

Neither guy is a real long term solution at 1st, but I think I would have stuck with Ike over Duda. At least he once showed a flash of being a legitimate power bat as a corner infielder. Of course, he showed a lot more ineptitude, but that 32 home run season is always in the back of my mind. Duda just flat out stinks really. Sure he’ll get ahold of a few here and there and he’ll wallow in mediocrity at first but he’s never gonna be a consistent middle of the lineup every day starter. It was a pretty mediocre platoon situation and the Mets decided to just pick one. Can’t blame them, but I certainly don’t think this makes much of a difference.

I wish Ike the best of luck. Hope he finds that 30 HR swing again. Part of me thinks the Mets mismanaged the situation, part of me thinks Ike needed to not bat a fucking buck fifty for 2/3 of every year. Maybe in a smaller market where he isn’t having every off the field move scrutinized he’ll succeed a little more. Just as long as they don’t have Yellow Fever or Lily of the Valley or fucking dysentery in Pittsburgh.

I can’t imagine the Mets get anything more than a useless reliever in this deal, considering this is the very definition of selling low. But we’ll see.

UPDATE: Yea, he sucks

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5th best righty reliever! Jackpot! Can’t wait for Sandy and company to pay him a hundred bucks per out or some shit.

PS – Only Mets fans would make something like this for a dude who batted .160 for the majority of his career here

By KFC posted April 18th, 2014 at 6:57 PM

Barstool Confessions For Everyone Banned From Boston Takes You Into The Weekend

He really is though.

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He really is though.

I followed him back. Not sure who’s worse – me or him. Have a good weekend, K-Mac. I’ll catch you on twitter.

By KFC posted April 18th, 2014 at 5:00 PM

Judge Goes Off On Chick While Sentencing Her To Life In Prison

"STABBED AND STABBED AND STABBED AND STABBED AND I HOPE YOU DIE!"

St. LouisA judge in Michigan was not holding back as he sentenced a woman convicted of stabbing and killing her boyfriend. Officials say the victim died in May 2012 from stab wounds and blunt force trauma to his head. The 31-year-old woman was sentenced to life in prison with no parole. The judge was really set off when the woman rolled her eyes and laughed as the victim’s family read a statement to the court.

The best part of this was the judge threatening to duct tape her mouth shut. When she kept talking he waves over at the Bailiff like “Fetch me my duct tape!” before immediately realizing he’s not allowed to duct tape anybody’s mouth shut. The Bailiff was probably shaking his head like “No dude, we cannot do that.” Its like something Michael Scott would do. Threatening to tape Toby’s mouth shut and then when he realizes thats not an option just groaning and being like “OK fine we’ll just sit here until you stop.” The news reporter voice over was perfect too: “No duct tape was found.”

He certainly made up for it though with that performance while sentencing her. “STABBED AND STABBED AND STABBED AND STABBED AND I HOPE YOU DIE!” Shoulda thrown in a “Yes you deserve to die and I hope you burn in hell!” Samuel L Style. I mean this bitch fucking sucks. Even her own lawyer was like “Cuncel this warthog.” More judges should be like this. Hit em with a little passion when sentencing them to life.

By KFC posted April 18th, 2014 at 4:10 PM

An Update On #GarfunkelGate

  Incase you missed it yesterday, over the last few days, there has been a bit of an issue between me and an Art Garfunkel lookalike.  Now, as a person of reasonable intelligence, I figured when I didn’t hear anything all day from him, it was because he realized that after your homophobic and hate speech laced [...]

Garfunkel

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Incase you missed it yesterday, over the last few days, there has been a bit of an issue between me and an Art Garfunkel lookalike.  Now, as a person of reasonable intelligence, I figured when I didn’t hear anything all day from him, it was because he realized that after your homophobic and hate speech laced tweets are broadcast to millions of people you should probably stop. I mean this is someone who claims to be a college athlete, after all. Comments like these have had a real negative impact on those athletes. Right? Wrong.

First he started off naming all of the recent athletes who have come forward as gay, as my favorite athlete but decided to take that down, but not before some of the Stoolies got at him.

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I mean really the Stoolies were just doing what the Stoolies do and things were dying down. Until he made a commentator name and walked into our house without wiping his feet.

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Now picking a beef with me on Twitter is one thing since I’m just the Yankees guy, but KFC can’t have you shitting on his lawn Garfunkel. And the flood gates opened…

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Everything died down and I thought we were totally done with this whole interaction, but turns out Garfunkel was just catching a little nap.

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So with all of this info I have determined that this guys life is broken down to, he wakes up, calls me a fag, tells some of his friends how cool he is, then takes a nap and repeats this 24 hours a day while only taking breaks to average 3.5 points a game in community college basketball. Oh and if anyone can help my dude out, I will be watching and make sure I get another picture for Twitter if you show up looking like Simon and Garfunkel.

nets

KFC Editors Note: I think I’m Team Garfunkel here. He’s just too real with it. All he does is get ass and play sports and smoke bloggers and take naps. Can’t tell me you’re not jealous of that life.

 

By jj posted April 18th, 2014 at 3:40 PM

T-Mac Made His Pitching Debut Last Night

1IP, 3H, 1ER? Hey Sandy get T-Mac on the line bro! Tracy McGrady in the 8th, Papa Grande in the 9th!

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Hardball TalkRetired basketball player Tracy McGrady made some headlines a month or two ago when he signed with the independent Sugar Land Skeeters and circulated some awkward looking video of him pitching. Well, he pitched in a real game last night. He gave up one run on three hits in one inning. So, awkward or not, the Blue Jays probably could’ve used him.

1IP, 3H, 1ER? I was only half joking last time, but for real Sandy get T-Mac on the line bro! Tracy McGrady in the 8th, Papa Grande in the 9th! It will be like Mariano to Wetteland back in 96. Don’t worry about changing the rules to make every game only 7 innings. The Mets could basically do that on their own with those two pitching the 8th and 9th.

By KFC posted April 18th, 2014 at 3:00 PM

Barstool Derby Day – Saturday May 3rd At DL

Gambling on the ponies, smokeshows in floppy hats and day drinking - thats what the Kentucky Derby is all about. So considering all of those things are right up our alley, we're throwing a Kentucky Derby party Saturday May 3rd at DL on the Lower East Side

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Gambling on the ponies, smokeshows in floppy hats and day drinking – thats what the Kentucky Derby is all about. So considering all of those things are right up our alley, we’re throwing a Kentucky Derby party Saturday May 3rd at DL. I know for the past couple years I’ve been doing everything on the Upper East Side but this time I’m throwing a bash for all you downtown people. We’re gonna spice things up a bit and head down to the DL on the Lower East.

I got a lot of plans in the works as far as major prizes, giveaways, and specials for the guys and the ladies, so check back in here for details as we get closer to the race. For now I just wanted everyone to get it on their calendars. Party is gonna start at 2:30 and run through the final race, so get your hats and outfits ready for a fully day of boozing, Barstool Derby style.

 

By KFC posted April 18th, 2014 at 2:30 PM

Reader Email – I Tried To Hire Smash Mouth As My Wedding Band

Yo KFC, Check out this correspondance I’ve had with Smash Mouth’s booking agent trying to get them to play at my wedding. I got his e-mail straight from the front page of their website so you can verify it’s legit. This might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Feel free to post but just [...]

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Yo KFC,

Check out this correspondance I’ve had with Smash Mouth’s booking agent trying to get them to play at my wedding. I got his e-mail straight from the front page of their website so you can verify it’s legit. This might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Feel free to post but just delete my e-mail address, I don’t want those critters from the comment section e-mailing me.

viva
chris

________________

Hello,

I recently proposed to my long time girlfriend and we are both HUGE Smash Mouth fans. I was hoping to see if they were available to book for our wedding. We don’t have an exact date nailed down yet, but we’re looking to do it in September of 2015. Would you be able to send me some information on transportation and cost? Also if they are available, can you let me know which dates might work? We will try and schedule the wedding around that.

Thanks!
Chris
________________

Sorry for the delay. Still digging out. The fee required for such an event would be considerable. Figure on 40K plus local sound, lights, staging, backline, two nights hotel for ten people and local ground transportation. Plz let me know if you’d like to discuss it further.

Thanks

_________________

Any wiggle room there? Sugar Ray quoted me $25k..

_________________

Chris

If you had travel, hotel and backline covered plus were able to do local sound and lights I would likely be able to match Sugar Ray’s fee.

_________________

My best man said he could pick them up from the airport and let them crash at his place. He’ll even let Steve sleep in his bed, the rest have to crash on the couches though. We will also take care of lighting, sound, etc. And if they agree to do a cover of Sugar Ray’s “Fly” then I think we have a deal…

_________________

I’m guessing you’re joking, right?

_________________

Not at all, but a hotel for 10 people for 2 nights is a bit pricey and my buddy has very comfortable couches…is the hotel a deal breaker?

_________________

The hotel is a deal breaker. Plus I have ten people traveling with some equipment. A pro van, fifteen seater is required. Additionally, I think you’d really need to look at the technical rider. This isn’t a band that just sets up on the floor and rocks out. And, lastly, all due respect, they’re not going to do a Sugar Ray cover.

Thanks

_________________

I’ll do 5 rooms in a hotel, they have to bunk up..and I can respect them not covering sugar ray (despite all of the other covers they’ve done), but let’s compromise. They agree to play “Tubthumping” and we have a deal..Smash Mouth and Chumbawamba have a similar sound anyway. A wise man once said “You’ll never know if you don’t go, you’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, so let’s make this happen.

_________________

Thanks but no thank you.

_________________

You’ve knocked me down, but I’ll get up again..you’re never gonna keep me down.

Fyi I’ve already put a deposit down on the spoonman from the Soundgarden video to come perform at the wedding…much more entertaining then smash moth would be.

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_________________

Sounds liked you have found a nice match, so by all means, enjoy the spooning.

Note, it is not my intention to be a jerk. My responsibility is to represent Smash Mouth for live performance opportunities. Operating a band on a day to day basis is an expensive endeavor. There are hired musicians, crew, business managers, rehearsal spaces and studio time and on and on and on. It all adds up very quickly. Smash Mouth is 20 years old this Summer. The band regularly gets 30 to 50K per show. When someone starts to jam me down on the price, then asks for the band to play someone else’s songs, for their wedding, and suggest they bunk with one of the groomesmen or suggest that adult male’s share hotel rooms, well I think you can see where I am going with this. Good luck on the wedding.

Such a bizarre and ridiculous chain of emails you can’t help but just tip your cap to this kid’s troll game. Sometimes I don’t know where you idiots come up with these ideas or how you have the wherewithal to follow through on it but trolling Smash Mouth’s booking manager for like 10 consecutive emails takes some persistence. But a couple things jumped out at me right away:

A) 50k a wedding is bananas! Nice little racket Smash Mouth is running here. Probably still cashing royalty checks from Shrek and just cleaning up 50 large a weekend in the summer to play for a few hours. Its basically like retirement for them and their social security is 50k a night.

B) Stooping down to Sugar Ray’s level of 25K was borderline pitiful. I mean I know everything is negotiable for a wedding but to drop that much after one email is just flat out poor negotiating. If thats me I’m telling Chris and Sugar Ray to go fuck themselvesOh Sugar Ray will do $25,000? Well Smash Mouth wipes their ass with 25,000. How about that you little prick?

You know deep down though this guy knew that nothing Smash Mouth ever did could compete with “Fly” so he probably knew he had to fold.

C) You’re absolutely kidding yourself if you don’t think the dance floor would be rockin the minute they played Walkin On The Sun or All Star. Nobody is like a true, diehard fan of Smash Mouth songs. Those aren’t tunes you seek out on your iPod. But you better believe when they fire those up at a wedding the roof comes off.

By KFC posted April 18th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

GTA Best Of The Best, Season 3 Week 2 Voting Now Open!

Heavy Hitter coming for the belt here

Previous Champ Kate Sullivan:

 

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VS

Challenger Lisa Morales

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Kate Sullivan has carried over her crown from last season and now has a pretty solid streak going for herself. Heavy Hitter coming for the belt here though with Lisa Morales stepping into the ring. I’m shocked that ass hasn’t been champ yet. Is today the day?

Vote 1 for Champ Kate Sullivan, Vote 10 for contender Lisa Morales

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (1,491 votes, average: 4.88 out of 10)
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By KFC posted April 18th, 2014 at 12:50 PM
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