Chick Writer Going Nuts Over Tristan Thompson Giving A Kiss To Sideline Reporter UPDATE: It Was A Dude Writer

You can go ahead and fucking R-E-L-A-X with this "who responded by disgusting us as much as humanly possible."

YahooTristan Thompson scored 17 points and added 11 rebounds with no turnovers in nearly 30 minutes of action on Friday night. The Cavaliers big man returned to the power forward position and was probably the team’s best player in its 108-102 exhibition loss to the Dallas Mavericks at home. Following the contest Prior to the contest, FOX Sports sideline reporter Allie Clifton attempted to discuss as much with Thompson, who responded by disgusting us as much as humanly possible. 

Yeah, hey, Tristan Thompson, don’t do that. Just because Allie Clifton remained calm and professional and kept a smile following the buss, it doesn’t mean Tristan Thompson wasn’t straight up sexually harassing her. She remained calm and professional because she is a professional – that is to say, she’s doing her [EXPLETIVE DELETED] job. Don’t kiss someone without their consent, ever, and don’t kiss someone without their consent while they’re doing their job. This isn’t cute or funny or meme-worthy. There should be no marginalizing or rationalizing of this. That could be a mortifying thing for this reporter, and Thompson couldn’t be more in the wrong. Just because you’re working with someone of the opposite sex, it doesn’t mean a sly innuendo, pat on the rear, or kiss on national television is in any way appropriate. You want to lay your uneasy flirt game on someone? Wait two hours and take it to a bar. Grow up. The Cavaliers and the NBA shouldn’t slough this off as a preseason giggle-fest.

Hey Lady…calm down. Christ almighty he gave her a peck on the head he didn’t tie her up and R-Word her. You can go ahead and fucking R-E-L-A-X with this “who responded by disgusting us as much as humanly possible.” First off all, if this is what you qualify as the single most disgusting thing a human can do, you need to check yourself. Take a look around the world at stuff thats actually disgusting before throwing out some hyperbole like that. And second of all don’t speak for me and the rest of the people who saw this clip.

Is it a little awkward and over the line and inappropriate as far as today’s standards go? Yea, probably. Was it completely harmless and in good fun? 1,000%. And thats the main point here. Calling this disgusting and labeling it sexual harassment is absolutely a slap in the face to any victims of actual, real sexual assault. It ended up embarrassing and a weird moment but nobody was hurt. Nobody was traumatized. She says nobody should marginalize or rationalize this, but I think a moment like this is the exact time you do need some rational, logical thought so that we don’t end up branding this as some sort of assault. Painting Tristan Thompson as some sort of predator because he had a playful moment with a sideline reporter.

Not everything needs to be a headline story about the moral behavior of men and women. Sometimes an awkward, quirky moment is just that. It doesnt need to be spun into women’s rights in the workplace and gender roles in society and shit like that. Save that for the real stories when there actually is some sort of discrimination or assault. Dont cry wolf with shit like this.

UPDATE: So this was written by a dude. I saw the name Kelly and saw the feminist angle and just assumed it was a girl but its a guy. Even more shocking. The same point still remains.

By KFC posted October 20th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

A Tradition Unlike Any Other: Grading KFC’s Wedding Dance Moves

The dust has settled, the 10 day honeymoon across the Mediterranean and the Amalfi Coast is over, all the weight I lost for the wedding I put right back on after dining at Michelin starred restaurants all over the South of Italy, and most importantly the photographer released her pictures.

Previously, on Grading KFC’s Wedding Dance Moves:

2010:

Back on the grid, blogging for the first time as a married man. The dust has settled, the 10 day honeymoon across the Mediterranean and the Amalfi Coast is over, all the weight I lost for the wedding I put right back on after dining at Michelin starred restaurants all over the South of Italy, and most importantly the photographer released her pictures. People Magazine reached out to me with a $2 million dollar offer for the photographs but I said fuck that. I’m a man of the people. Release them for free, give the people what they way. I mean I got married for love, not for profit. Let Clooney do that tacky shit and sell his photos. Not me.

And so naturally its time for another installment of “Grade KFC’s Wedding Dance Moves.” Above you’ll see the first edition of this feature, circa 2010. That was when I first set the world on fire with the moves. Flooded every girl’s basement. Women wanted me, men wanted to be me.

Now its 2014 and its time to grade the moves from my own wedding. 4 years older, hair longer, a bit skinny-fattier, tux sharper, but the same old fire on the d-floor:

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White guy snap + “Whoaa whoaa!” lyrics = A+

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White guy get low while rapping = A plus

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Sunglasses prop on point, mid white guy clap = A++

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I’m so fancy…

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…you already knowww. Both A fucking +

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Mingle with the guests, laughing with the bridesmaids. Stud. A double plus

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Put the glasses back on Kevin! Things are getting lazy! Still though – A+

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You see this? This right here is the Art of Seduction. Me and my boy just putting out the vibe. I’m surprised I didn’t consummate the marriage right there on the spot.

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Sober as a priest still killing the White Guy Point. Thats an A+.

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After party sobriety game on a hundred thousand trillion. Take a guess? Yea thats right. A++++.

Overall Grade: Whats better than A+?

PS – I gotta hand it to my photographer Sarah. She captured this action shot of Big Cat that might deserve a Pulitzer:

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Everybody enjoying a little makeshift jump rope until the hefty fella from Barstool comes along and stomps out all the fun. Grey suit, brown shoes, black ankle socks, technicolor tie, ruining the party. Reminds me of when Frank The Tank got hit with the tranq dart in Old School and stumbles his way through the children’s birthday party knocking kids and tables over leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

By KFC posted October 20th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Giants Lose And Fuck Everything

    Absolutely brutal loss for the Giants. Outplay the Cowboys the first half and go into the tunnel tied up and getting the ball back in the 2nd. ODB, Randle, and Donnell all looking great. Eli moving the ball. No turnovers. And then Donnell fumbles and puts the team behind the 8Ball at the [...]

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Absolutely brutal loss for the Giants. Outplay the Cowboys the first half and go into the tunnel tied up and getting the ball back in the 2nd. ODB, Randle, and Donnell all looking great. Eli moving the ball. No turnovers. And then Donnell fumbles and puts the team behind the 8Ball at the worst possible time. A classic Eli Manning march down the field put us within one score, and we had to pray that Romo would Romo the game for the Giants, which didn’t happen. Instead Dez and DeMarco put the entire Cowboys offense on their backs, and all the credit in the world to them for that. The Cowboys deserved to win.

 

Hard to believe a 3-4 team with two early division losses can make any sort of noise in the playoff picture with Indianapolis, San Francisco, Seattle, and Dallas coming up. Especially considering everyone thought 9-7 was winning the NFC East in the preseason, which clearly isn’t true. This was a must-win that the Giants lost. An actual analysis blog coming tomorrow from your boy 610, where hopefully he can explain to me why Perry Fewell didn’t put a second body on Dez the entire Fourth Quarter (can anyone explain that?), but for now…….

 

 

 

PS: Thank god Trent (who’s a Cowboys fan) is too Midwest Nice to use his last day as Captain of the BSNY Ship to taunt us.

 

PPS: The Rangers beat the Sharks and Kevin Hayes scored his first goal for the Blueshirts. Doesn’t have anything to do with the Giants but it made me feel a little bit better, and I hope will make you feel a little bit better too.

By charliewisco posted October 19th, 2014 at 7:25 PM

Giants Look To Bounce Back Against The Cowboys

  No two ways about it; the Giants got their pants pulled down against the Eagles last Sunday night. Just when the Blue had won 3 straight games all by double digits, looked to be gaining some momentum, and sneaking into a lot of expert’s playoff projections, the Eagles and Chip Kelly’s high-octane offense established [...]

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No two ways about it; the Giants got their pants pulled down against the Eagles last Sunday night. Just when the Blue had won 3 straight games all by double digits, looked to be gaining some momentum, and sneaking into a lot of expert’s playoff projections, the Eagles and Chip Kelly’s high-octane offense established dominance in the Linc. The Cowboys, on the other hand, are resembling something like a locomotive for the past 5 weeks; 5-0 since dropping the opener to San Fran including 3 wins where in years past we would expect Tony Romo to Romo away the game in the most Romo fashion possible. Instead of hilariously fulfilling his own “Tony is a loser” narrative, as of course is tradition, Tony has been making a strong case for a Pro Bowl bid, DeMarcus Murray has been playing like a bona-fide superstar, and Dez Bryant has been doing typically amazing Dez Bryant things.

 

But the news isn’t all bad for Giants fans. First, we all know that the GMen during the Tom Coughlin era play best when their back is against the wall; for a team that can’t afford to dip below .500, Coughlin should have no issues motivating his troops to get off the couch against a hated divisional opponent. Also, Eli has a winning career record in Dallas, including two 400-yard games. Eli Manning’s career winning percentage in Dallas (60%) is actually almost as good as Tony Romo’s (61%). Furthermore, FootballOutsiders actually ranks the Giants defense as being better than the Cowboys, and the Giants have been forcing interceptions at a league-leading clip. I say the secondary finds a way to get Romo to toss a few of them today.

 

Ultimately, this game is going to come down to better controlling the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball. On defense, the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth priority is stopping the Dallas league-leading run attack. If DeMarco Murray is able to gash the run defense the way the Eagles did the first quarter of last game, everyone might as well be watching Bar Rescue by halftime.

 

On offense is where the real story of the game lies, and the real story Giant’s season for that matter: the offensive line. It’s been pretty simple for the Giants this year. When the offensive line plays well, the Giants tend to win. When they don’t, the Giants lose. First two games of the season, they looked like a turnstile and the offense was similarly anemic. When they gave Eli actual time to make quality throws, run support, and let the McAdoo offense get into rhythm, it looked like the high-efficency machine that we were promised before preseason. Last game, Eli was hurried, knocked down, or sacked on about HALF of his total dropbacks. This is completely unacceptable.

 

The Cowboys are good this year, that we cannot deny. They are one of two teams in the past 2.5 years to have beaten the Seahawks in Seattle and have a balanced offensive attack. But this game is NOT unwinnable for the Giants. The Boys are favored by 6.5 points from Vegas, and much like the Spartans at the end of 300, that is good odds for any Giants fan. We are a team and a fanbase that loves playing when everyone else is counting us out. We are all sick and tired of hearing how great the Eagles and Cowboys battle for the division is going to be this season. Take the points and take the outright win, and put ourselves right back in the conversation. LET’S GO GIANTS!!!!

BLOG UPDATE:
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I thought KFC was back tomorrow! Had no idea that he was back today. The KFC Mush has arrived. A million percent chance that the Giants win today. Bet your mortgage on the Giants to win straight-up! I’m mortal-locking this bitch!

By charliewisco posted October 19th, 2014 at 1:17 PM

Apparently Percy Harvin Beat Up His Seahawks Teammates And Refused To Re-enter The Cowboys Game

Seattle Times- One source confirmed a report that Harvin had gotten into an altercation with former Seahawk Golden Tate before the Super Bowl that resulted in Tate getting a black eye. A source also said Harvin had an altercation with Seattle receiver Doug Baldwin in the week leading up to the final exhibition game this August [...]

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Seattle Times- One source confirmed a report that Harvin had gotten into an altercation with former Seahawk Golden Tate before the Super Bowl that resulted in Tate getting a black eye.

A source also said Harvin had an altercation with Seattle receiver Doug Baldwin in the week leading up to the final exhibition game this August at Oakland that resulted in Baldwin getting a cut on his chin and each player being excused from practices that week. Harvin, who did not practice for two days before that game, did not make the trip to Oakland for what the team said at the time was “a personal matter.”

One final straw, a league source said, came in Sunday’s 30-23 loss to Dallas when Harvin apparently balked at going back into the game in the fourth quarter. Harvin played 26 of 48 official snaps but did not play 11 of the final 17. He finished with six touches for minus-1 yard.

So Percy Harvin sounds like kiiiiiiind of a dick, huh?  I guess that explains how a player with MVP-caliber talent can get traded twice in less than 24 months.  Roughing up your teammates and refusing to enter games with playoff atmospheres are kind of a big deal to NFL coaches and execs.  The minute your ability no longer outweighs the headaches you create (literally) and the money you cost, you are shipped to the Island of Misfit Toys North, South, East or West (Bengals, Cowboys, Jets, or Raiders).

The interesting thing about the story is not that Harvin got into a fight with teammates, but who he fought with.  A lot of players get into scrums with guys on the other side of the ball, as constantly hitting each other in practice can lead to a lot of aggression.  But Harvin fought teammates that play the same position as him.  Usually those are the guys you are closest with, even if they are gunning for your job.

So now Hard Hittin’ Harvin brings his ridiculous wheels, injury red flags, and whatever color flags you get after you beat up your teammates.  If everything works out, Geno Smith will have a legit weapon at his disposal that could help him evolve as a quarterback.  But if it doesn’t, everyone will say this is another example of the Jets bringing the circus to town.  Please Jets, never change.

P.S.  If Percy ever decides to pound on Eric Decker’s beautiful face, the fans of Eric & Jessie: Game On will be out for blood (and Harvin will probably get his ass kicked).

By theclemreport posted October 18th, 2014 at 9:15 AM

Jets Trade Conditional Pick For Percy Harvin

            As Jay Glazer just reported, the Jets have traded for Percy Harvin of the Seattle Seahawks for a conditional pick. Harvin is currently dealing with a thigh injury and was listed questionable for this Sunday, so with the extra week rest he theoretically should be able to debut for [...]

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As Jay Glazer just reported, the Jets have traded for Percy Harvin of the Seattle Seahawks for a conditional pick. Harvin is currently dealing with a thigh injury and was listed questionable for this Sunday, so with the extra week rest he theoretically should be able to debut for the Jets on the 26th.

 

Now it’s hard to tell exactly how good of a trade this is or isn’t because the terms of the pick haven’t been fully disclosed yet, but assuming this is a conditional mid-round, this would appear to be a good, low-risk trade for the Jets.

To me, this trade feels a little bit like putting lipstick on a pig. Harvin is obviously not the swiss-army knife weapon he was for the Vikings anymore, but was a solid contributor this year with 133 yards and 22 catches through 5 games. But he’s not the kind of player anymore, even when he’s on the field which is rare, to make an instant, game-changing impact on your offense week in and week out. This trade doesn’t change the fact that Geno Smith is still the Quarterback, the offensive line is prone to inconsistency, and the defense has steadily declined from where it was in the beginning of the Rex Ryan offense. It just sort of smells like a trade made to placate a fanbase that is angry coming off a 1-5 loss and an emotionally wrenching division lost. So while I wouldn’t dislike the trade or anything, it’s a solid, relatively low-risk play, if I was a Jets fan, it doesn’t really do much to improve their overall situation.

 

PS-Every non-Jets fan in the world is rooting for the Jets to draft Jameis Winston right? God that would be amazing.

By charliewisco posted October 17th, 2014 at 5:47 PM

Eminem Threatening To Beat Up Moby At The 2002 MTV Awards Taking Us Into The Weekend

Happy Birthday, Marshall.

 

Eminem turns 42 today.  Let that sink in.  Happy Birthday, Marshall. Have a great weekend everybody!

By trent posted October 17th, 2014 at 5:15 PM

Weatherman Tries To Do A Report With A Dog And All The Dog Wants To Do Is Play

Ripple wants to play.

 

via Global News

 

I gotta say, I don’t love the actions of Mike the weather man there.  Yeah, the video was cute and all with him trying to do the broadcast while Ripple jumped around and looked cute as shit.  But here’s the thing, when Ripple wants to play, you play with Ripple.  I don’t care if you have to stop in the middle of your TV job.  You stop and you play with Ripple.  Done and done.  You don’t get to choose when you stop and play with Ripple.  Ripple chooses.  Even though you’re the one with the leash, Ripple decides when it’s play time.  You can re-shoot the segment later.  Right now, it’s play time.    You think anybody cares about your stupid weather forecast?  Of curse not.  Now with smart phones and weather apps that can tell us the weather in a matter of seconds (and more accurately) you guys are borderline obsolete.  So he needed to soak this up.  The only reason people are watching is because of Ripple.  He’s the headliner.  He’s the main attraction.  So fuck the green screen and fuck the cameras.  Ripple wants to play.

By trent posted October 17th, 2014 at 4:53 PM
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