Jets Trade For Brandon Marshall, Happy Birthday KFC!

Its a birthday miracle!

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Its a birthday miracle! Big Cat is over there on Barstool Chicago with his orange headlines talking about how B-Marsh is a con man and how good wide receivers dont matter and hes a cancer and all I’m seeing is this:

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A WR of Marshall’s caliber for a late round pick is a STEAL. Flat out heist. His cap hit is only $10 million, which out of our $55 million in free space is nothing. Coupled with Eric Decker the Jets all of a sudden have a top notch pair of wide receivers. Of course the eternal problem is that we dont have anyone to throw to them, but this makes it that much easier on Geno. Its a fantastic start to the Mikey Mac era, with a very talented player at a skill position coming at a very cheap cost. Happy birthday to me and welcome to New York, B-Marsh! Cant wait for you to make Big Cat eat all his words.

By KFC posted March 6th, 2015 at 11:23 AM

Asian Bro Driving Like Ace Ventura Is Laugh Out Loud Funny

Reinforcing stereotypes in an outrageous manner.

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KFC,

Check out this oriental Ace Ventura. As if he needed more handicaps while driving. Guys setting my people back even further.

From,
An Asian Stoolie

Spectacular. Asian fella doing his best Ace Ventura impression for absolutely no discernible reason. Cant think of any reason at all whatsoever that you would drive like this instead of brushing the snow off your windshield, other than just Asians being Asian. Reinforcing stereotypes in an outrageous manner.

You know what the funniest part of this whole thing is? The Asian who took the picture. Emailing me saying the Oriental Ace Ventura is setting his people back, meanwhile hes the dude TAKING PICTURES OVER HIS SHOULDER WHILE DRIVING. You’re not exactly the poster child for the DMV Safety Manuel, bro. God bless the rest of the people sharing he roads with these two kamikazes. Beware of Asian drivers. They’re driving with zero visibility and taking pictures of each other.

By KFC posted March 6th, 2015 at 11:10 AM

Three Hot Chicks Singing Bohemian Rhapsody In The Car

I’m loving the girl sitting in the middle with a little upskirt action. I’m loving this jerk off move right here: and this titty grab move here: Over all I’m just really digging the vibe from these three smokes. The guitar solo got a little bit weird: But more or less I just found myself [...]

I’m loving the girl sitting in the middle with a little upskirt action.

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I’m loving this jerk off move right here:

and this titty grab move here:

Over all I’m just really digging the vibe from these three smokes. The guitar solo got a little bit weird:

But more or less I just found myself crossing my fingers and toes praying that these three chicks would stop singing and start making out. Do some real lip syncing if you know what I mean. I need Vivid pictures to make these chicks a porn offer ASAP. Call it Fat Bottomed Girls and maybe they’ll do butt stuff.

By KFC posted March 6th, 2015 at 10:20 AM

Sexy Chick Walks Around In A Bikini Taking Selfies With Strangers

Right here is the type of situation that I’d like to think I’d come up with something clever. Drop a witty one liner on her and whip out my phone and try to selfie-bomb her while she’s selfie bombing me. Do something that makes her laugh and then I’m in like Flynn. Separate myself from [...]

Right here is the type of situation that I’d like to think I’d come up with something clever. Drop a witty one liner on her and whip out my phone and try to selfie-bomb her while she’s selfie bombing me. Do something that makes her laugh and then I’m in like Flynn. Separate myself from all the other schlubs who just stand there breathing through their mouths frozen and awkward.

The reality is I would probably just stand there like all the other idiots while my boner grows. This chick is a DIME. Fuck me eyes to the max to go with some DSLs. Would love to get awkward with her. More from @LindsayHancock here. (You kidding with that name? Thats gotta be a stage name)

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By KFC posted March 6th, 2015 at 9:30 AM

Barstool NYC Local Smoke Show Of The Day – Stephanie

introducing stephanie from brooklyn. guess no one told her that sticking her tongue at people wasnt very nice.

introducing stephanie from brooklyn. guess no one told her that sticking her tongue at people wasnt very nice.

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Read the rest of this entry »

By t bone posted March 5th, 2015 at 5:30 PM

New York Post Boom Roasts ARod

Got em! The old "you got a single but it would have been a home run if you were still on steroids!" one liner. Just rolls right off the tongue

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Got em! The old “you got a single but it would have been a home run if you were still on steroids!” one liner. Just rolls right off the tongue. This was also front page news, not even the back cover for sports. Just remarkable how much this guy really is a lightning rod. Its like the tabloids have relied on Arod jabs for like 10 years now and they just dont know how to do anything else.  Hes back and they cant help themselves. They know he’s coming to an end so they gotta get in as many jokes as possible. Even if its long winded, excessively wordy asterisk jokes. Even if it means covering spring training singles. Love him or hate him there’s no denying the world is fascinated with him. He could have been one of the best villains of all time if he wasnt such an awkward loser who desperately needs the approval of everyone around him.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2015 at 4:10 PM

Barstool Hockey Show – Trade Deadline Recap/Who Will And Won’t Make The Playoffs

The Trade Deadline has passed and the postseason approaches. The Barstool Hockey guys recap what we did and didn't like from the last week in the NHL

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The Trade Deadline has passed and the postseason approaches. The Barstool Hockey guys recap what we did and didn’t like from the last week in the NHL, who the favorites in each conference are, who on the playoff bubble (Bruins, Panthers, Wild, Flames, Kings, Sharks, Jets) will and will not make the playoffs, dream playoff scenarios, and more. Remember to follow everyone on twitter for all the Barstool coverage in the final NHL homestretch at @RearAdBsBlog , @BarstoolChief , @BarstoolJordie , @610Barstool , and @CharlieWisco.

 

 

By charliewisco posted March 5th, 2015 at 3:20 PM

Daily Mail – Thursday March 5th – Sizzling Fajita Skillets Are The Dumbest Thing On Earth

Got 10 minutes to spare? Check out today's Daily Mail

All previous Daily Mail episodes and the full length weekly MailTime podcasts can be found on iTunes

Back in the saddle with Daily Mail. A quick 10 minutes with your boy KFC talking about ISIS at your wedding, big dig divorces, how fucking STUPID sizzling fajita skillets are, how shitty Easter is, and how jerking off is the cure to every hostage situation.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2015 at 2:30 PM
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