Around Barstool

GTA Best Of The Best, Season 4 Week 3 Voting Now Open!

I would stuff both these butts like a Thanksgiving turkey

Champion Morgan Hultgren

Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.34.01 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.33.45 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.33.36 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.29.05 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.28.58 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.28.50 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.28.37 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.28.27 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.28.16 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.27.57 AM

 

VS.

Nora Segura

Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.49.49 AM

Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.47.50 AM

Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.47.56 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.48.08 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.48.19 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.48.28 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.48.35 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.48.42 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.48.53 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.49.03 AM  Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.49.24 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.49.40 AM  Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.50.05 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-24 at 11.50.19 AM

 

Short week so time to get you Ass Voting on. I would stuff both of these butts like a Thanksgiving turkey. I was pour my gravy all over the breasts. I would…ah thats enough. Both these asses are gorgeous but there can only be one Highlander.

Time to vote

Vote 1 for 3 time champ Morgan Hultgren Vote 10 for Nora Segura

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (805 votes, average: 3.11 out of 10)
Loading ... Loading ...
By KFC posted November 26th, 2014 at 12:30 PM

Wednesday Afternoon MailTime: Thanksgiving Eve In The Cubes

Click here to download on iTunes Premium Members can listen on the KFCRadio App on iPhone or Android Poor people can listen on the Podcast One App Hopefully you’re just wrapping up our Serial recap, and its time to keep the MailTime train rollin. Another hour and 15 minutes to help you kill more time as you give [...]

Click here to download on iTunes

Premium Members can listen on the KFCRadio App on iPhone or Android

Poor people can listen on the Podcast One App

Hopefully you’re just wrapping up our Serial recap, and its time to keep the MailTime train rollin. Another hour and 15 minutes to help you kill more time as you give your bosses a massive “FUCK YOU” on this miserable, dreary, pointless, joke of a day. This episode we talk about Checkers fast food, my black out trip to the hospital last week, my latest run in with Francesa and the life of Mongo Nation, Rick Pitino with the most underrated quote of the year, Jurassic World, and a VERY informed discussion about Ferguson.

Also a big discussion about how to behave on Thanksgiving eve if you’re home from college (try to fuck all the girls) and how to behave if you’re stuck in the Cubes (don’t do a goddam thing)

Its a full Thanksgiving Mailtime to get you through to lunch. Hopefully you’ve only got a half day and you’re almost at the finish line.

By KFC posted November 26th, 2014 at 11:40 AM

FDNY Is Ok With New Fire Fighter Previously Being A Gay Porn Star

Bottom line is who cares if you got filmed blowing a dude - can you save my ass when the chips are down?

2014_11_jwest

GothamistAfter revealing that a new firefighter has “starred in at least 10 gay porn films,” the Daily News now wants you to know that rookie Jonathan Jesensky isn’t in trouble for it. FDNY spokesman Jim Long said, “There will be no discipline for this individual. Since he became an EMT and advanced to being promoted to paramedic, then to becoming a firefighter he has performed admirably.” And for a rookie, he sure knows how to… handle a hose? The News noted that Jesensky, a former Marine and model, apparently “came clean about his adult film past before he was hired by the city — and there’s no plan to end his budding civil service career…. The city’s uniformed forces do not hire people with a serious criminal past for law-enforcement jobs. But the city’s strict civil service law — which includes age and fitness requirements — does not bar candidates who have posed nude or starred in X-rated films.”

Great stuff to see that the FDNY doesnt care if you fucked dudes on camera before. The Fire Department is stereotypically one of the most close minded groups in this city and this move just proves they’re getting with the times. Bottom line is who cares if you got filmed blowing a dude – can you save my ass when the chips are down? When a building is burning are you brave enough to willingly run in there to save people?  Thats all that matters. I’ve loved pussy my whole love but guess what? I’m too big of an actual pussy to do what this guy signed up to do. Not like John Jesenky is running around with this uncontrollable boner because he’s surrounded by firemen, unable to do his job. Sorry I can’t fit through the doors of this burning building! I’ve got this huuuuuge erection because I used to do gay porn and that means I cant control myself as a human being! Sorry I cant figure out the hose, I’m just too busy thinking about dicks!

Gimme a break. Its 2014. I dont care if you’re gay for play or gay for pay. Just please help save my ass when I’m about to die. Also, its utterly ridiculous that this dude is a former Marine, but when we’re talking about his previous jobs on the resume, gay porn is the one thats making the headlines. Oh yea served his country as one of the few and proud but whatever whatever, he has sex with guys on camera! I realize I’m feeding into that with my own headline and my own blog, but whatever I gotta put asses in the seats and I’m openly admitting the hierarchy should probably go 1) Marine 2) effective paramedic 3) gay porn star.

PS – It is a little weird when you’re “straight” but you do gay porn. You’re just gay. You can’t just flip that switch on and off. Just be gay bro.

By KFC posted November 26th, 2014 at 10:50 AM

Serial Podcast About A Podcast: Episode 1

Me, your boy Feitelberg, and Super Producer BC get the ball rolling on this fucked up roller coaster involving a black guy, a Muslim, an Asian, and a Jew narrator.

Click here to download on iTunes

Premium Members can listen on the KFCRadio App on iPhone or Android

Poor people can listen on the Podcast One App

Its about time we finally broke down the new worldwide phenomenon of Serial. Me, your boy Feitelberg, and Super Producer BC get the ball rolling on this fucked up roller coaster involving a black guy, a Muslim, an Asian, and a Jew narrator. We take our sides – Team Jay or Team Adnan. We talk about STEPPING OUT, how bad Sarah wants to fuck Adnan, how the police work in Baltimore pretty much fucking sucks, and all the other pieces of the puzzle that has the world captivated.

Oh also, did I mention we solved the case? Like dont even bother making any more episodes Sarah because we figured it out. Stoolie Sean came up with a theory (AKA probably stole it from someone on Reddit) that makes absolute, perfect sense. So yea, tune in for that.

It was a little hard of an episode to do since recapping 9 episodes of another show all in an hour can be pretty scattered. Now that we’ve got the ball rolling expect a new episode every time another edition of Serial comes out. We’ll do recap shows until this season ends. And be on the look out for Asa Akira who says she still wants to come one. She’s like a fish that I’m reeling in. Except shes an Asian porn star.

Adnan_Syed_19981415829519033_wps_10_Jay_Wilds_Serial_Podcast  s

serial_3106729b

By KFC posted November 26th, 2014 at 10:45 AM

Looks Like Mini Me Is Having A Happy Thanksgiving!

You're telling me Verne Troyer doesn't have ONE person in his life that can be in charge of getting the turkey?

Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 9.38.44 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 9.38.50 AM

 

A 40 pound man lugging around a 20 pound turkey! Its a Thanksgiving Day Miracle! And just about the funniest goddam thing I’ve ever seen. You’re telling me Verne Troyer doesn’t have ONE person in his life that can be in charge of getting the turkey? He doesn’t have some Austin Powers money lying around to pay someone to do this? Or is his family just really that big off assholes that they put the 2 foot, immobile midget on turkey duty? No matter what the circumstances, if you’re choosing a person to pick up a Thanksgiving turkey at the store, Verne Troyer might literally be the last adult on earth you would pick. Little man looks like he’s doing the Hammer Throw in the Olympics and he’s just trying to get his turkey off the sidewalk.

By KFC posted November 26th, 2014 at 10:05 AM

New Yorkers Protest The Ferguson Decision By Causing Massive Amounts Of Traffic Like A Bunch Of Dicks

These goddam hipster assholes. Guarantee you 75% of these people have almost zero knowledge about the real facts of this case.

Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.36.50 AM

Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.39.33 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.39.45 AMScreen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.37.00 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.37.19 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.37.28 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.37.37 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.37.55 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.38.04 AM Screen Shot 2014-11-26 at 8.38.11 AM

 

NY PostThousands of protestors swarmed the Manhattan streets Tuesday night to rage against a grand jury’s decision not to indict the Ferguson cop who killed an unarmed teen — clogging streets, blocking bridges and causing frustration among rank-and-file cops who were told not to do more to stop them. Some 3,000 demonstrators marched for more than seven hours, at various times blocking the Lincoln Tunnel, the FDR Drive, the West Side Highway and several East River Bridges. Despite the disruption, protesters — who did not have a permit to march — were allowed to continue around the city, and only five arrests were reported by early Wednesday.  “I’m between baffled and frustrated,” one steamed cop told The Post. “We’re cops and we’re not allowed to take police action. If that’s the case, I could be home watching this on TV and laughing like the rest of the country.” Another cop, who said ­officers were instructed to go easy on the rabble rousers as they blocked major arteries, believed it was unfair to everyday New Yorkers. “Why are they letting the protesters ruin hardworking people’s drive home to be with their families?” the officer said.

These goddam hipster assholes. Guarantee you 75% of these people have almost zero knowledge about the real facts of this case. Majority of them probably watched the news for 20 minutes, read some tweets from Anonymous, and decided that they were now the authority on this case. Time to take to the streets! And cause….traffic! That’ll do it! Nothing will solve problems in Ferguson, Missouri like blocking the Lincoln Tunnel! Lets call a spade a spade here – these are the assholes they love to hear their own voice. They’re the assholes who love to feel like they are a part of something just for the sake of being a part of it. This is just the flavor of the week for them. The latest controversy where they can beat their drum and express their white guilt and convince themselves that they are making a difference in the world.

Newsflash, idiots – nothing is changing because you ruined everyone’s night getting out of the city. The same way that all the assholes in Ferguson rioting aren’t changing anything either. Obviously the violence and the fires are way worse than marching the streets but its all futile. None of this is changing anything. There will still be corrupt cops, there will still be violent urban youth. Burning down a Little Caesars or causing traffic jams aint gonna fix that. So just go the fuck home and stop ruining your cities and pissing off all the people who live there.

By KFC posted November 26th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

JR Smith Updates His Instagram Teaching Us All Where The Term “Black Friday” Comes From

You have gotta be the dumbest motherfucker alive

B3Vi4VlIcAAU4bp

 

Hashtag facts, huh JR? You have gotta be the dumbest motherfucker alive. In reality, Team Swish, its the single most innocuous term ever, but I really don’t think you’ll understand the whole concept or meaning of a business being in the “red” or in the “black” so how about you just pipe the fuck down and go back to being an overpaid idiot. Or maybe go ask CEO Melo to break it down for you. Maybe he can help you understand.

Thanks to Tommy for the heads up

By KFC posted November 25th, 2014 at 10:41 PM

Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Faith

  Introducing Faith from NYC.  Back to back blazers for this shortened smoke week.  Love the city showing why it’s the best on Barstool   Know any smokes?  Email a name and nomination to beardobarstool@gmail.com      

1

 

Introducing Faith from NYC.  Back to back blazers for this shortened smoke week.  Love the city showing why it’s the best on Barstool

 

Know any smokes?  Email a name and nomination to beardobarstool@gmail.com

 

 

 

2

3

4 5 8 9

By beardo posted November 25th, 2014 at 5:35 PM
© 2014 Barstool Sports | Disclaimer | Copyright | Privacy Policy | Media Kit