(NEWSER) – Reality doesn’t really tend to work this way, but László Andraschek’s tale is the stuff of fantasy: En route to a program for recovering alcoholics, the unemployed, indebted Hungarian man was down to his last few coins when he decided to buy a lottery ticket. “I had only picked six numbers and the female shop assistant reminded me that I needed to pick a seventh,” he said. “I told her to make it 24—it doesn’t matter, anyway.” In fact, it did: Andraschek won some $2.8 million, the Guardian reports. The 55-year-old paid his debts and biked to a car dealer to get a new mode of transportation—though he can’t drive, so his three kids will have to take the wheel. He also bought apartments for those children, is planning a trip to Italy, and has taken care of other family members’ debts. But notably, he’s using the money to help others: Andraschek’s good fortune was kept quiet until he recently made a hefty donation to a homeless shelter. He’s also setting up foundations to help addicts and victims of domestic abuse. “I have become rich, but I have not become a different person,” he says
Man, fuck this guy. Fuck stories like this. Some derelict Hungarian has basically flushed his life down the toilet and now he’s a millionaire and I’m supposed to be like “Awww what a great story!” like its some sort of Disney movie or something? For sure not. Its always scumbags and meth heads who win the lottery and I’m sick and fucking tired of it. Like if there is a God, he’s a total dick about who he decides to bless with literally millions of dollars for doing absolutely nothing. Laszlo is drunk and homeless and just about thrown away all that life has to offer and how does the universe and karma reward him? $2.8 million. Yea that makes perfect sense.
When are we gonna start to hear the stories of a gainfully employed blogger who brings joy and laughter to millions of people spending some of his hard earned paycheck on a winning lottery ticket? When does the lottery gods decide thats who’s gonna hit the jackpot? Because this only-toothless-people-win-the-lottery routine is getting a little fucking played out.
PS – Captain of Team Lazy Eye. Me, Matt Harvey and László Andraschek – the laziest eyes in the game. Laszlo almost has one normal eye and one over-active eye. You know what I’m saying? Its almost the opposite of a lazy eye. Bulging eye or something.