$100,000 Up For Grabs For Draftkings’ PGA Championship Challenge, No Dustin Johnson Anywhere To Be Found

Its a damn shame.

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No Dustin Johnson anywhere to be found. Its a damn shame. Rich white man playing a rich white sport and yet he’s suspended for doing a rich white drug. That ain’t right. The PGA tour is as dumb as can be, too. They should get him out there as soon as possible. He’d be must see TV at the PGA Championship. Rory might be out there dominating but watching a coked up cuckholding maniac out at Valhalla would be the real story.

I might just leave an empty space in my Draftkings roster as a form of silent protest.

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By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 3:30 PM

Topless Photos Allegedly Of Selena Gomez Circulating The Internet…You Be The Judge

I'm just gonna choose to believe. Like Miracle on 34th Street - A lie that draws a smile or a truth that draws a tear? You pick

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NSFW here

These pictures are making the rounds today, with some gossip website Hollywood Life claiming its Selena. Some fans are saying the moles and the lips and the jaw match Selena’s exactly. Other fans and other equally as trashy websites are saying the exact opposite. If you want my opinion, I’m just gonna choose to believe. Like Miracle on 34th Street - A lie that draws a smile or a truth that draws a tear? You pick

Its probably not Selena Gomez but whoever it is has quite a nice rack.

By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 2:30 PM

Wednesday Afternoon #MailTime: Here Comes The Money

Over 90 minutes of MailTime today with your boy Barstool JJ. We talk about the 86 Mets, Jerry Jones' baller life, crack/cocaine, chicks who pee the bed, delusional girls getting engaged, and having sex with deaf girls.

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Download the free KFC Radio app – iPhone | Android

Over 90 minutes of MailTime today with your boy Barstool JJ. We talk about the 86 Mets, Jerry Jones’ baller life, crack/cocaine, chicks who pee the bed, delusional girls getting engaged, and having sex with deaf girls. A little bit of everything for you as long as you’re a complete weirdo like we are.

We got a couple offers from our sponsors this week.

1) Harrys.com is offering a $5 discount on your first order for a new shaving package. Use the promo code “mailtime” and get a new razor, 3 blades, and shaving cream for $10 delivered right to your door. Save approximately $35,000 by not buying the overpriced razors at CVS.

2) NatureBox.com is offering 50% off your first order of snacks if you go to NatureBox.com/mailtime. I highly recommend the Siracha Roasted Cashews because they are FIRE and you’re probably fat and need to shed some pounds.

By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 1:50 PM

Dude Charged With Murder After Killing His Friend While Testing A Bulletproof Vest

And this is precisely why I won't be shooting Big Cat in the chest.

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NY TimesA man faced murder charges on Friday after accidentally shooting his friend while testing a bulletproof vest, the Baltimore police said. Mark Ramiro, 30, was arrested in the shooting of Darnell Mitchell, 28, late on Wednesday. The Baltimore Sun reported on Friday the shooting was recorded on a video camera by a third person. In it, Mr. Mitchell brags that he is about to take a “deuce deuce in the chest” — a shot from a .22-caliber bullet — before he is struck just above the vest.

And this is precisely why I won’t be shooting Big Cat in the chest. If some dudes in fucking Baltimore who are probably very familiar with “deuce deuces” can’t do this without someone dying, there’s no chance a couple idiots from Barstool can. Big Cat is such a sick fuck I bet he’d still let me do this, even after reading this story. He’d still stand there with his XXXL Kevlar on and be like “Hank, cameras rolling? Lets do this.” And I’d flinch and end up shooting him in the fucking neck. And there lies Big Cat, in a pool of his own blood, bleeding out. We’d go viral and it would be the most successful Bro Show video ever. Kaltura views like you read about. Could probably run like a 30 minute pre roll add for that snuff film and people would still watch it.

But Big Cat would be dead, and I go to jail for murder. So I’m bowing out of this one. I know I couldn’t take the bullet and I don’t trust myself to pull the trigger so I’m tagging in Feitelberg on this one. Let someone else shoot El Gato Grande. I don’t want his blood on my hands.

PS – Isn’t murder a bit harsh in this situation?

By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 12:10 PM

Chrissy Teigen Rocks Some Booty Shorts, Knee High Socks, And A “Nugz” Jersey To Throw Out The First Pitch In LA

Oh and I think she was drunk

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The outfit gets my full stamp of approval. Spandex shorts, knee high socks, and a jersey paying homage to the 40 piece Chicken McNugget. Little bit of sexy, little bit of hungry, and a little bit drunk. Just how I like my ladies.

Solid throw too.

PS – Shout out to my man Drew Butera. Used to cover him back when he was like 19 on the Brooklyn Cyclones. Guy gave great interviews.

By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 11:40 AM

Boomer Esiason Talking About Skin Flutes With Yanni This Morning

Well this morning was officially bizarro world on Boomer and Carton. Yanni, skin flutes, panda bears. I feel like it was a dream.

 

Well this morning was officially bizarro world on Boomer and Carton. Yanni, the 60 year old Greek pianist was in studio. Which, by itself, was bizarre enough. But did you know Yanni was almost an Olympic swimmer and set a Greek national record in the 50 meter freestyle? Did you know he went to college at a Big 10 school? And did you know that according to Boomer Esiason apparently one of Yanni’s music competitors played the skin flute?? Well done, Boomer. It was particularly impressive how quickly you moved on from that. Just a real quick change of topic from skin flutes to Yanni’s songs.

I swear to God sometimes the morning show is like a dream. Like doesn’t this whole scenario sound like something where you’d wake up in the morning like “Dude I had the weirdest dream ever. Yanni was on Boomer and Carton and Boomer kept talking about skin flutes and Craig was talking about panda bear gifts.” Wacky stuff man. I’d just like to say that its an honor to have shared a chair with the greatest contemporary instrumental musician of all time. Top 5 Sports Writer In America – OUT!

By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

Apparently Kid On ABC News Last Night

If we're being perfectly honest, this kid kinda freaks me out.

If we’re being perfectly honest, this kid kinda freaks me out. He’s like some Benajmin Button Man Child. Like why does this kid even care about giving the people of Africa a gigantic salmon? I don’t think I knew about Africa OR salmon when I was his age. And apparently he wants to be a paleontologist. I still don’t really know the difference between that and an archaeologist, and I “went to school” too bro. Bottom line is this ginger is a little too sophisticated for my liking. He’s gonna be that kid who uses a rolling suitcase as his backpack and wears a tie to school in 7th grade. Live it up now, Ginger. Its all downhill after this.

By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Darryl Strawberry Confirms The Story That Kevin Mitchell Once Decapitated His Girlfriend’s Cat

If you told me Kevin Mitchell once decapitated a fucking human I would believe it.

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CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

Huff PoThough Dwight “Doc” Gooden certainly had a fascinating career on the baseball diamond, a revelation in his 1999 autobiography, “Heat,” has been urban legend ever since the book’s release. Gooden writes in the book that teammate Kevin Mitchell, in an argument with his girlfriend, ended up decapitating her cat, something Mitchell has since disputed. Fellow former Met Darryl Strawberry stopped by HuffPost Live on Tuesday, along with his wife Tracy, to chat about their new book “The Imperfect Marriage: Help For Those Who Think It’s Over.” Strawberry was asked in the interview about the incident, and stood by Gooden’s version. ”That’s a pretty good story. I think that’s pretty accurate,” Strawberry told host Marc Lamont Hill. “Kevin Mitchell did do that. Kevin Mitchell, he’s a different type of guy. Great guy, super teammate…I guess he figured that the girlfriend was acting a little crazy, so I’ll kill her cat.” All three played for the 1986 Mets, who won the World Series.

Great guy. Super teammate. Just mutilates cats as a form of revenge.

We talked about this last night on today’s episode of MailTime. There was really never any reason to doubt the validity of this rumor. I didn’t even consider the possibility that it was an urban legend. Kevin Mitchell was an absolute fucking maniac. If you told me he decapitated a human I would believe it. Bottom line is any story you hear about the 86 Mets is true. And if the tales that these guys openly talk about are the cat beheading stories, imagine the ones they keep close to the vest. One day, maybe when Darryl is on his deathbed or something, I want him to confess all the sins of the 86 Mets. It will be right up there with the truth behind the JFK Assassination.

By KFC posted August 6th, 2014 at 9:30 AM
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