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Barstool DVR: True Detective Hysteria, Episode 2

2nd episode of our very own little mini-series here for True Detective.

Click here to download Barstool DVR episodes on iTunes

2nd episode of our very own little mini-series here for True Detective. Me, Feits and Super Producer BC back again to recap episode 7 of the most popular show on TV, preview the finale, and talk about the overall hysteria surrounding the show.

Now I’m sure some of the True Detective fanboys will listen to me on this podcast and hate me. Because at the moment I’m pretty down on True Detective. Pretty negative feeling about where the show has gone. That doesn’t mean I think the show is “bad.” Doesn’t mean I’m not excited for the finale. But between the the last couple episodes and the a lot of the online theorizing and hypothesizing, I think I’m gonna end up being disappointed.

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By KFC posted March 5th, 2014 at 4:40 PM

Isles Trade Vanek For Warm Pile Of Garbage

The absolute definition of a Lose/Lose situation for Garth Snow. Luckily, Garth Snow is very, very good at losing so this Trade Deadline debacle was right up his alley.

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The absolute definition of a Lose/Lose situation for Garth Snow. Luckily, Garth Snow is very, very good at losing so this Trade Deadline debacle was right up his alley. When the clock is at 2:59 you gotta take whatever you can get when you know a guy like Vanek is absolutely walking at the end of the year. So a second round pick and a prospect is better than nothing. Barely. But it is in fact better.

But then you take a step back and realize you traded Matt Moulson, a first, and a second, in exchange for basically a second round pick. I’m not mad Garth took what he could get at the 11th hour of the trade deadline. I’m mad he put himself in that position by trading for a guy that everyone in the world knew he had absolutely no chance of re-signing. Putting himself in a position where he had virtually zero leverage in any trade talks. I understand the Islanders are always going to be taking a risk because its not like players are clamoring to come play here, but I feel like this was especially the case with Vanek. He was a 6 month rental from the second that Moulson trade went through. Should have just ponied up the money for a Moulson extension. At least he wanted to be here.

UPDATE: The Isles don’t even get the pick if the Canadiens don’t make the playoffs. The pick isn’t even protected. Garth seriously almost got absolutely nothing in return

By KFC posted March 5th, 2014 at 3:55 PM

Get Your #FireDolan Shirts For The Official Anti-James Dolan Knicks Rally Outside MSG On March 19th

Grab the pitchforks! Light the torches! Time to march on the Garden and find that little Ewok James Dolan

firedolan

 

CLICK HERE TO BUY

NY Post – A rally to protest Knicks owner James Dolan’s handling of the sinking franchise is on tap for March 19 in front of the Garden before the team hosts the Pacers. The organizers of the “KF4L Rally,” which has its own Facebook page, are promoting the rally via social media. The KF4L stands for “Knicks Fan for Life.’’ Knicks fans Michael Brown, who has staged demonstrations in the past, Anthony Samaroo, a Chicago-based Knicks fan, and Mark Griffin are the rally’s promoters. In a statement, the organizers wrote the rally is being staged because of “Dolan’s failure to allow knowledgeable basketball people the autonomy/power to make basketball related decisions…His insistence on overriding the opinions of his basketball people by bidding against himself in negotiations and overpaying in trades.’ The statement also took issue with “the rehiring of Steve Mills who has never been in the GM role before and presided over one of the most embarrassing eras in Knick history.’’ It went on to add Mills “has yet to speak to the media or fans about the state of the team since he came back. The fans deserve explanations.’’ In conclusion, the statement read: “We understand Dolan will not sell. We understand change may not come of this. We just want our voices heard. We want to remind Dolan and the NBA that our voices matter. We buy the tickets, the jerseys, the NBA League Pass subscriptions. We are frustrated. We are tired. We deserve better.’

Grab the pitchforks! Light the torches! Time to march on the Garden and find that little Ewok James Dolan and run him out of town. And by run him out of town I mean embarrass the shit out of him by showing him the entire city thinks he is quite literally the worst owner in sports. Unfortunately Dolan has his greedy little incompetent claws sunk deep into the Knicks, MSG and Cablevision, and there’s literally no chance of him ever going anywhere. He’ll be ruining this franchise from now until the day he dies.

But we can’t just stand by and do nothing. The Fire Dolan comes to life on March 19th outside MSG. Be there in the official uniform for Knicks Fans/Dolan haters to, at the very least, make Dolan’s life a living hell.

CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR SHIRT

And in case you need a little reminder of just how bad he is – James Dolan’s Greatest Hits

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By KFC posted March 5th, 2014 at 3:15 PM

#MailTime At The Movies

We break down the best year in movie history - 1994, talk about our memories from movie theaters, and got way off track and discussed the Duke porn star, huffing paint, aliens, Lent and a whole bunch of other shit. 1 hour, 15 mins of MailTime

Automatic downloads of Stoolie Voicemail, MailTime and Barstool DVR available by subscribing on iTunes

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Premium subscription for deluxe episodes and access to the entire KFC Radio library – Click here

Fresh off the 2014 Oscars, we decided to unleash MailTime at the Movies. The official cinematic special of KFC Radio. We broke down all the best movies from the Golden Year of Hollywood – 1994. The best comedies, dramas, action movies, and sports movies complete with sound bytes from the greatest year in recent movie history. Along the way we told some stories about going to the movies as kids: hooking up with chicks in the theaters, the best snacks, the worst types of people to sit next to, the whole nine. We also got complete off track at points and talked about the Duke porn star, huffing paint, aliens, Lent and a whole bunch of other shit.

Grab some popcorn and plug in for an hour fifteen of MailTime at the Movies.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2014 at 2:15 PM

Alternate Version Of The Video Marty Watches In Rust’s Storage Unit In True Detective

HBO execs thought it needed to be toned down before it aired.

Horrifying. Like absolutely disgusting. I know HBO is premium content but some things just aren’t meant for TV. Thank God they toned it down before it aired.

Also, probably the best, most coherent theory I’ve seen so far on Reddit and the Internet. With actual proof to back it up:

By KFC posted March 5th, 2014 at 1:30 PM

Rangers Officially Bring Marty St. Louis To Broadway For Callahan & Picks

Like I said when the rumors started swirling, I don't get how a Rangers fan can hate this deal.

Marty

Like I said when the rumors started swirling, I don’t get how a Rangers fan can hate this deal. It’s more than just a straight up trade now – there will be conditional picks both ways based on how far the Blueshirts go and if Callahan signs long-term with the Bolts. Perhaps NY is giving away picks that turn into studs a few years down the road, but drafts are nowhere near a lock and we’re not talking about top-10 picks. I’m not all that concerned. As far as losing Captain Cally – of course that sucks. He’s the captain. He’s the heart and soul. He’s more than the stat sheet. And all of that is why the Rangers were willing to go to $6 mil instead of the $4.5 or so his stats would warrant. But the Blueshirts brass drew a line in the sand after offering a 6th year at $6 mil. They weren’t willing to go north and apparently Cally’s camp wanted a no-movement clause as well. For once, the Rangers were prudent. Stuck to their guns. Fans might not like that they chose to do it with a fan favorite, but it’s not like they were low-balling. And just like Sather did, Callahan had every right to stick to his guns as well. I hope for him that his summer payday was worth it.

As for the haul – everyone knows who Martin St. Louis is, right? I get he’ll be 39 this summer…and more times than not, that’s a big deal. This is one of those “not” times though. This little bastard is still playing at an elite level. Oh he lost Stamkos? No biggie – dude kept churning out a point-per-game pace playing with Tyler Johnson & Ondrej Palat. “Who?” Exactly. He’s only under contract through next year at a $5.6 mil cap hit and there’s no reason to doubt he’ll fair any worse lined up with old buddy Brad Richards and Rick Nash (on the power play). Maybe the Rangers still aren’t a Cup-ready team – but their all-world netminder just turned 32. Any hopes at a Stanley Cup any time soon fall on Hank still being in his prime, and that window is closing. So when you are offered the opportunity to add a well-respected leader who steps in as your #1 point producer in exchange for a player who’s arguably going to be overpaid and may have a short shelf life based on his style of play, it makes sense. If it doesn’t pan out, it’s not like St. Louis holds the Rangers hostage for years like a 6-year Callahan contract potentially would. Bottom line is, this is absolutely the best the Blueshirts could’ve hoped for if they couldn’t keep Cally at their price.

By 610 posted March 5th, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Your Obligatory Annual “Ash Wednesday Is For Suckers” Blog

A tradition unike any other with a new twist for all you annoying Atheists out there!

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Now I’m not gonna do, what everyone thinks I’m gonna do, and FLIP OUT. Every year I post a friendly reminder that if you smear soot all over your face and walk around with it all day, you’re an asshole. And I still stick by that. The millions of people who just go to church on Christmas and Easter now decide, out of all the weird traditions and ceremonies, this is gonna be the one they decide to partake in. Skip virtually every other rule and shit, but the one where you get dirt on your head, yup – sign me up for that one. Its the ultimate “Look at me! Look at me! I’m Catholic!” move.

Now, that being said, every year I post this, the Barstool Atheist crowd comes out in droves to bash anything and everything religion oriented. And while I understand its hypocritical of me to make fun of Ash Wednesday and then defend religious people, I hate Atheist with every fiber of my being. Every religion blog they show up commenting the same cliche, trite quips like “So you believe there’s a magical wizard in the sky serving you crackers???” So unbelievably lame. So, this year, this is a 2 part blog – 1) you’re a jackass if you walk around with ashes, and 2) you’re a complete fucking dickhead if you’re one of these atheists preaching to everyone how believing in God is stupid. I discussed this on MailTime last nite, but you atheists who can’t shut the fuck up realize you’re just as bad as the evangelical religious nuts preaching to everyone about God, right?  You’re just preaching about no God. Different argument, just as fucking annoying. Any time anyone mentions God, you losers can’t help but dive into all the arguments and all the points why you think God isn’t real and you think people of faith are dumb and blah blah blah. Guess what, guy? Nobody gives a fuck about your non-beliefs, the same way nobody cares about the diehard Christians babbling about the Bible. Its like impossible for you nerds to just let it slide. I don’t care if you believe, don’t believe – whatever – but the assholes who pontificate one way are the other are all in the same boat: you’re all dickheads and people don’t like you.

This concludes the anti-religious yet strangely pro-religious blog.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

Ashton Kutcher Says Being The “One Night Stand Guy” Can “Get A Little Gross”

Not all of us can falls ass backwards into marrying one of the sexiest women alive, Ashton.

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NY PostAshton Kutcher says his single life sounds like fun, but he’s ready to settle down. “Being a single guy can be a lot of fun . . . when you’re financially independent [and] can do whatever you want, whenever you want,” says the star who popped the question to Mila Kunis. But he tells Men’s Fitness, “For every girl you have a good time with for one night, if you want to stay single, that’s the same girl that you have to not call back. “After a while, being the one-night-stand guy is also just a little gross.”

Hey Ashton why don’t you do me a favor and pipe down? Literally nobody on this planet earth has been luckier than Ashton Kutcher. He has fallen ass backwards into more money and top notch pussy than any other Hollywood zero. Makes $24 million a year for that dumb ass Two And A Half Men and married fucking Mila Kunis. So forgive me if I don’t think hes the authority on what makes normal guys “gross.”

Not all of us can somehow trick one of the sexiest women alive into marrying us, Ashton. I’d never even look at another chick again, let alone have a one night stand, if Mila Kunis willingly wanted to have sex with me. But most guys out there are staring down the barrel of marrying an average, kinda fat, kinda annoying girl so guess what? Having one night stands for as long as fucking possible sounds like a pretty good plan of attack to me. You can be all high and mighty up in your ivory tower of monogamy handing out life lessons to all the one night stand sinners, but until you walk a mile in the shoes of the average guy who’s not worth $150 million marrying blazing hot smokes despite being a total ass clown, you should probably shut the fuck up.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2014 at 10:20 AM
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