Barstool New York College Football Party This Saturday at Suite 36 in Herald Square
Introducing Natasha from SUNY Farmingdale. We don’t get too many smokes from SUNY Farm but Natasha is a rocket. The island does not dissapoint.
Send all smoke nominations to email@example.com with a name and Facebook link.
Natasha and the SUNY crew are invited to the Barstool New York College Football Party This Saturday at Suite 36 in Herald Square. It’s looking like theres going to be a lot of great looking people going and reping their schools.
No Cover, This Saturday starting around 2 PM. Check out the Facebook invite and we’ll see you Saturday.
646-807-8665. Last week was a phenomenal episode of voicemails so lets keep it rolling
646-807-8665. Last week was a phenomenal episode of voicemails. Stoolies really stepped it up and brought the heat sparking some great debate and some funny moments. Lets keep it rolling. There’s absolutely NO shortage of material, as these past few weeks have been some of the most hectic in internet history. So no excuses.
Call the hotline today, tonight or tomorrow morning and get your questions/comments/material in before we record.
The internet has long speculated that the dude on the Knicks who Biggie robbed was Hubert Davis. But now that its the greatest Urban Legend turned True Story ever, we NEED the truth.
“Yo man, y’all niggas ain’t gonna believe what the fuck happened to me. Remember that bitch I left the club with man? Yo, freaky yo. I’m up in this bitch player this bitch fucking run them old Knick ass niggas and shit, I’m up in the spot though. One of them six-five niggas, I don’t know. Anyway I’m up in the motherfucking spot, so boom I’m up in the pussy, whatever whatever. I sparks up some lye, Pop Duke creeps up in on some, must have been rained out or something *laughing* because he’s in the spot. Had me scared, had me scared, I was shook Daddy – but I forget I had my Roscoe on me. Always. You know how we do. So anyway the nigga comes up the stairs, he creeping up the steps, the bitch all shook she sends the nigga back downstairs to get some drinks and shit. She gettin mad nervous, I said fuck that man! I’m the nigga, you know how we do it nigga, ransom note style put the scarf around my motherfucking face, gagged that bitch up, played the kizzack. Soon this nigga comes up in the spot, flash the Desert in his face he drops the glass. Looked like the nigga pissed on his-self or somethin, word to mother! Ahh fuck it this nigga runs dead to the floor, peels up the carpet, start giving me mad papers, mad papers. (I told you that bitch was a shiesty bitch cause! Word to mother I used to fuck her cousin but you ain’t know that! Hahaha. You wouldn’t know that shit. Really though.) I threw all that motherfucking money up in the Prater knapsack. Two words, I’m gone! (No doubt, no doubt… no doubt!) Yo nigga got some lye, y’all got some lye?”
Until now. John Starks confirming that I Got A Story To Tell is fucking incredible. Its the greatest Urban Legend turned True Story of all time. And now I NEED to know who it was. I need it more than I need air. I want to know who Biggie robbed more than who killed JFK. I want to know which member of the Knicks was cuckholded and robbed by Biggie Smalls more than I want to know what’s behind closed doors at Area 51. It could very well be Hubert Davis. There’s a lot of circumstantial evidence surrounding him, for sure. But who knows when this story took place. We just assume it was around 1995, 96 or 97 when Life After Death came out. But who knows. Maybe it was early 90s. Maybe Biggie said 6 foot 5 but he was really just eyeballing the dude. There’s really nobody that we can rationally exclude except very short or very tall players. Everyone in between from like 1990 to 1997 is fair game in my eyes.
So naturally the next thing we have to do is start up a bounty of some sort for John Starks. Start up a Go Fund Me kickstarter fundraiser thing and raise a shit ton of money to get John Starks to confess who was robbed by BIG. And if he doesn’t come forward, someone with this knowledge will. Everyone has a price and when they start to think that someone else from the Knicks or music industry will come forward and claim that reward, they’ll sing like a canary. Someone get on that. Start up the fundraiser right now and lets all fucking buy the truth.
MUANG SAMUTPRAKARN, Thailand — A woman in Thailand decided to end her life in a horrible, public way, by jumping into a crocodile enclosure. Police say the 65-year-old woman’s family told them she had seemed depressed. But they didn’t expect her to walk into the reptile farm remove her shoes and jump into the pit filled with several hundred crocs. Thai police say staff at the Samut Prakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo used sticks to try to keep the animals at bay but to no avail. The Bangkok Times reports Wanpen Inyai isn’t the only person to commit suicide by crocodile. In 2002, a woman did the same thing at the same park. Local radio stations talked to the owner of the park, Uthen Youngprapakorn. He told them the walkways in the park had additional security, and fences added. The body couldn’t be positively identified after the incident, but the family believes it is Inyai because of identification found in the pond the next day. DNA tests are being done to confirm the ID of the remains.
Well thats not very practical. As a matter of fact I’d say this is probably the last way I’d ever kill myself. Like forget about shooting yourself or jumping off a bridge or something. Even if we’re talking about getting weird with some sort of zoo-icide, the crocodile tank is the last place I’m going. At least take me to a tank or a cage with an animal that can knock me out. Some bears or gorillas or some shit that are gonna knock my block off before eating me or something. Crocs are just gonna sit there gnawing on you and tearing your apart. No fuckin thanks.
I guess the real question is, where was the Thailand Zoo Keepers on this one? You got several hundred crocs eating poor Wanpen and all you’re doing is waiving some sticks at them? I’ll tell you one thing, this would have happened in Japan. No sir. Japan would have been all over this shit like rice on Asians. They’ve been training their whole lives for a moment like this:
That woman would have jumped in the croc farm and the zoo keepers would have been like Costanza with the Frogger machine. “Wait a minute. This looks familiar. This reminds me of something. I can do this. I’ve been preparing for this moment my entire life.”
HDT – Joe Girardi told reporters that Masahiro Tanaka is tentatively scheduled to pitch on Sunday in the Yankees game against the Blue Jays at Yankee Stadium. If he does so, it will be his first start since July 8. This is good news even though the season is over. A lot of people are asking [...]
HDT – Joe Girardi told reporters that Masahiro Tanaka is tentatively scheduled to pitch on Sunday in the Yankees game against the Blue Jays at Yankee Stadium. If he does so, it will be his first start since July 8.
This is good news even though the season is over. A lot of people are asking why we would put a guy out there in a meaningless game when he has been injured, and the answer for that is we need to see what he has. If he just had a tired or sore arm, he would be shut down and be fine for the spring. But this injury is much different. By letting Tanaka air it out for 75 pitches on Sunday, the Yankees will find out if his elbow will be ready to go in the Spring or if it is time to give him Tommy John. Finding out that his elbow won’t be able to recover without going under the knife means that we know he can come back in 2016 with no problems. If we wait until February, he may not be ready in time and in turn we would be losing him for longer.
PS: What the fuck is going on with people throwing inside at Jeter this week? I get that you don’t just give up a hit to the guy cause he is retiring but maybe we don’t hit him twice in a week.
KFC Editor’s Question: If Tanaka needs Tommy John havent the Yankees royally fucked this up? I mean I guess not every injury can be diagnosed perfectly with just MRI’s and scans and tests. But is Tanaka all that rare of a situation where he needed to hit the DL for 3 months, sitting around resting, only to possibly find out he still needed TJ? I’m genuinely asking the question because it seems like every other pitcher seems to know immediately whether Tommy John is necessary from MRIs and doctor recommendations but for some reason Tanaka needed a few months to wait and see. If he does need surgery thats a lot of precious time that was wasted for nothing.
Click here to download on iTunes Download the free KFC Radio app – iPhone | Android The world is full of phony people. Whether we’re talking about NFL sponsors or people who claim to like apple picking, you’re getting called out today. Over the last month or so every major news story has brought it to the forefront [...]
The world is full of phony people. Whether we’re talking about NFL sponsors or people who claim to like apple picking, you’re getting called out today. Over the last month or so every major news story has brought it to the forefront and I just couldn’t sit by and bite my tongue anymore. So we rant and rave about all the hypocrites and fake outrage. We talked about the “Squatty Potty.” Naming your kids “Maverick,” and the last half hour we take more live calls. This time with a (mostly) fully functional switchboard system so we were able to take multiple calls and keep people on hold.
Now that we’re capable of handling live calls its just one step closer to doing live shows and multiple (if not daily) shows each week. Long way to go before that, and there’s only so many hours in a day with writing the blog and doing rundowns and what not. But the audio/radio version of Barstool I’ve envisioned from the beginning is finally starting to come to fruition. MailTime In The Midday not far off.
Its that time of year again, folks. Apple picking season. Over the next couple weeks, you’ll see nothing but idiots updating facebook and twitter and instagram with “Apple picking with the bf!” “Apple picking upstate with the fam!” with a bunch of pictures of fucking apples. And so every year I post this blog as the voice of reason for normal dudes and normal boyfriends who think this is the dumbest activity on earth. There’s a limited number of weekend days in the fall and not one rational, average guy wants to spend it apple picking with their girlfriend. I spoke about this on this week’s episode of MailTime last night but I feel its my duty to put up the blog each year as a reminder.
Here’s the list of things that are stupider than apple picking:
1. There are no things stupider than apple picking.
I mean I almost want someone to invite me just so I can hear the reasoning behind it. You want me to drive somewhere upstate to walk around in a field and pick apples off of tree branches? Like peruse through a grove of apple trees examining which apples are the ones that look good to me, and then I pick them and put them in a basket and we pay someone for the apples and then we go home like 20 minutes later? How long could it take to pick apples? And then I guess we go home and eat them? You ain’t baking a pie and neither am I.
Sounds fucking riveting. Like I could understand if apples were some sort of super rare delicacy and there was only one place you could get them and then you would have to go apple picking. But I can buy apples from a dude with a table on the street right outside my apartment. I don’t have to drive anywhere. Don’t have to walk around in a field. And I don’t have to lug a basket of heavy ass apples all over the place.
Fuck all that noise. Apple picking is just something that the snobby families and the snobby couples do to try and make themselves feel better than the real couples and families who spend their weekends in the fall watching football and drinking beer. Congratulations, you guys are the outdoorsy type. You guys are enjoying the fall weather walking around a field pretending to care about apples. You think its something your kids are enjoying even though they are just too young and dumb to know any better. I know you see pictures of me at the bar on a Saturday crushing wings and beer and you think to yourself “I’m better than him because I went and picked out 45 apples.” But guess what? You’re not. You’re not better than me. You’re just a big fucking idiot who’s doing some stereotypical fall activity to try to convince yourself you’re respectable. You’ll probably run the Marathon in a few weeks while I booze my face off in a bar. You probably volunteer at a soup kitchen during the Christmas season while I drink Irish coffee and watch Home Alone. You probably think I feel bad when I see you doing all that “productive” shit on social media. But I don’t. And deep down everyone knows you don’t really wanna do that shit either. Its all for appearance. Smoke and mirrors and motherfucking apples. Get real.
PS – Don’t tell me you go because there’s donuts there. You can get donuts anywhere that dont involve traveling to a goddam orchard and wasting a day doing manual labor.
Page Six - James Dolan is calling all kazoo players. In a twist on the Ice Bucket Challenge, the Knicks and Rangers owner has pledged to give $100,000 to the ALS Association if 6,000 people join him in playing the offbeat instrument when his band JD & the Straight Shot opens for the Eagles at Madison Square Garden Thursday. We’re told audience [...]
Page Six - James Dolan is calling all kazoo players. In a twist on the Ice Bucket Challenge, the Knicks and Rangers owner has pledged to give $100,000 to the ALS Association if 6,000 people join him in playing the offbeat instrument when his band JD & the Straight Shot opens for the Eagles at Madison Square Garden Thursday. We’re told audience members will each be given a kazoo upon entering the arena and that the stunt, a world record attempt, will take place at around 7:15 p.m. during the song “Governor’s Blues,” which includes a kazoo solo. Dolan has called in some friends to help out, including Amar’e Stoudemire, Carmelo Anthony, Henrik Lundqvist and John McEnroe, who will join him onstage with kazoos.
This is why you have to respect the Morning Show. They ask the hard hitting questions the people want to hear. Sure, any given morning there will be a solid 20 minutes of laughter and gibberish where you might not even know what the guys are talking about. But its all worth it when you get a billionaire in studio and the guys are willing to ask him why he held his nose during the ice bucket challenge. Would have liked Craig to push a little more and ask him if he holds his nose when he’s in the shower of if he gets caught in a rain storm since there’s an equal chance of water going up your nose in all three of these scenarios, but hey I’m just happy we got the answer. An involuntary reaction. You can tell a lot about a man when his first reaction is to hold his nose. In a way it says everything you need to know about Jim Dolan.
Also we’ve blown RIGHT past Mid Life Crisis with this Jim Dolan shit. I mean Warp Speed, right past the point of no return. JD just wants to wear fedoras and play the kazoo. I’ve heard more about the fucking Kazoo in the past 2 days than I have in my whole life combined. Don’t ask him about the Knicks, don’t ask him about the Rangers. Guy hasn’t even seen Carmelo in a few months. All he’s focused on is breaking the kazoo world record. Dude is a BILLIONAIRE that practically runs this city and can have absolutely anything he wants in this world and all he cares about is getting 6,000 people to play the kazoo at once. Just cracks me up. I said earlier that I respect being so rich you can do whatever the fuck you want, no matter how stupid it is. And I love the fact that every minute he’s playing the kazoo he’s not fucking with the Knicks. But when you take a step back and look at this dude, trying so desperately to be cool, and the road he’s chosen is breaking the world kazoo record, I cant help but laugh. Its just like when your average dad picks up some weird hobby trying to make his life less miserable. Painting model cars or making a ship in a bottle or some shit. Jim Dolan has just elected to go the kazoo route.
I think I…like Jim Dolan? Is that possible? Someone quick remind me of how he shit all over Patrick Ewing, gave 100 million to Allan Houston, 30 million to Jerome James, and allowed Isiah Thomas to ruin this franchise for like 10 straight years.
Whatever somebody do me a favor and ka-zoo the motherfuckin music!