Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

Mike Woodson In The Club

"I'd rather see my daughter in a Brazzers video than in this picture with Mike Woodson."

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Full disclosure – I have no idea where or when this picture was taken. Dude who tweeted it to me says he believes it was last nite in New York somewhere. Don’t know if thats true or not. But thats not the point. Neither here nor there. That description about rather seeing your daughter in a Brazzers video than in this picture with Mike Woodson is downright hilarious. I mean theres a lot of shit out there these days that makes you realize having a daughter is the worst thing ever. A lot of stuff that makes people say “This is a father’s worst nightmare.” I.e. a chick writing a letter saying she sucks so much dick she can make any dick on earth cum in 7 minutes. No doubt raising a daughter who talks and acts like that would make any dad jump off a fucking bridge. But I gotta say – photographic evidence of your daughter partying with Mike Woodson and the inevitable thought of him maybe banging her might sneakily be one of the most harrowing feelings a dad can have. Imagine you see that pic and thats your daughter and you have to look her dead in the eyes about be like “Did you fuck Mike Woodson? WELL? DID YOU?” What an absolute disaster that would be.

At least with the Brazzers video you know she was getting paid. What are you getting out of a smash session with Mike Woodson? Nothing. Thats what.

By KFC posted April 23rd, 2014 at 4:10 PM

Barstool Hotline Now Open For KFC Radio

Holy Trinity of Fat back in the saddle this week. Call 646-80-STOOL (646-807-8665) and leave your messages for us

KFCRadio

 

Missed last week because I’m lazy and to be honest I just kind of forgot about the days of the week. But we’re back in the saddle tomorrow for another edition of weirdness from the Holy Trinity of Fat – Feits, Big Cat and myself. Call 646-80-STOOL (646-807-8665) and leave your questions comments stories whatever for us.

Or tweet @KFCradio with your weird ass thoughts.

By KFC posted April 23rd, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Cardiologist Racks Up $135,000 Bill Over The Course Of 4 Days At Scores, Says He Was Drugged Every Night

Saying you were drugged or over-served at the strip club when you rack up an exorbitant bill is like the equivalent of saying your twitter was hacked when you accidentally send out a dick pic or say something horribly racist.

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Stripclub image by Shuttershock

Gawker –  The Manhattan Supreme Court will hear the case of a strip club that claims a cardiologist owes $135,000 in bills for four very expensive visits. The doctor says he was drugged by club employees and never authorized the charges. The West Side location of Scores charges that Zyad Kivaris Younan, a doctor at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, “voluntarily came to plaintiff’s place of business and requested that plaintiff provide him with food, beverages and services.” He compensated them for those services with his American Express card, which the club accepts as payment for its $250 meals, $1,000 bottles of champagne, and tips for dancers. The club’s manager says huge tabs aren’t unusual. What is unusual is that Younan contested the charges, claiming that on each of the four nights in question, he had either been drugged by the Scores staff or hadn’t been at the club at all. The club counters that it has video of Younan on all four occasions, and that he was never drugged. ”He was coherent until he saw the bill — or his wife saw the bill,” manager Stephen Hyman told the New York Daily News.

Saying you were drugged or over-served at the strip club when you rack up an exorbitant bill is like the equivalent of saying your twitter was hacked when you accidentally send out a dick pic or say something horribly racist. Its the Deny, Deny, Deny route that you have to go when your back is against the wall and you have no other choice. And the thing about it is, nobody can really prove you wrong. Obviously nobody buys the excuse but there’s technically no way to disprove it either. Like hey who knows, maybe Doctor Bob really was drugged that night! I’ve heard stories of people reporting stolen credit cards or canceling their American Express cards to get out of major bills from the strip club. Shit like this can work.

But where you run into trouble is when we’re talking about a 4 day bender and 135k worth of booze and lap dances. I mean you know how many times you can cum in your mesh shorts after dropping $135,000? A LOT of times. There’s no weaseling out of that much strip club activity. The whole “I was drugged” thing ain’t gonna work when you were there every Saturday night for a month, Doc. What you should be doing is admitting you were there and going the “I’m a sex addict” angle. Blame it on a sickness. You’re physically addicted to over the pants handjobs from Eastern European chicks. Thats the play when you’re 4 days and a 135 grand deep.

By KFC posted April 23rd, 2014 at 3:20 PM

DeMar DeRozan Single Handedly Keeps The Raptors Alive: Series Tied 1-1

Not exactly the greatest look in the world for myself or Paul Pierce after I spent half the blog yesterday lauding over him for his ability to hit game-winning shots, but hey "sometimes they fall, sometimes they don't"

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Well that sucked. Not exactly the greatest look in the world for myself or Paul Pierce after I spent half the blog yesterday lauding over him for his ability to hit game-winning shots, but hey “sometimes they fall, sometimes they don’t,” as Pierce said after the game. Can’t sum it up any more simply than that. (I would have bet any amount of money that his three point shot while down 2 was going in) Obviously going up 2-0 would have been a huge advantage heading back to Brooklyn, but in a building that crazy, and being the road team, all I could have asked for going in would have been a split. Now it’s time to take care of business at home. I am praying to god that Nets fans make it their priority to let the Raptors and their GM exactly where the fuck they are. No more excuses Nets fans, it’s time to turn Barclays into a legit home court advantage. As I’ve said since the series started, Nets in 6.

@Viva_La_Nets

PS – I’ve been commending JKidd on his coaching the second half of the season, but not playin AK game 1 was stupid. He got a steal, an offensive rebound, and an assist in the span of about 5 seconds. The dude has to be on the floor in crunch time.

By frodo posted April 23rd, 2014 at 3:00 PM

Michael Kay On His High Horse Overreacting To Matt Harvey Giving The Middle Finger

"Vile and Threatening." I gotta admit thats even more dramatic than I expected from this asshole.

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Out of all the non-stories that have been blown up into a big deal in New York Sports, this one might take the cake. Grown man takes a picture smiling at the camera jokingly flipping the bird and the media is all fucking over it. And of course at the forefront of it all is Michael Kay, with his gigantic head stuffed into his ivory tower. I didn’t listen to his show because who the fuck does that, but I went to his twitter immediately to see what self righteous sanctimonious bullshit he was spewing.

And I gotta admit, even I was pretty surprised with “vile and threatening.” Thats even more preposterous than I thought we’d get. I thought we’d see inappropriate. I thought we’d see childish, immature, unprofessional, etc etc. But vile and threatening is really something. Short of menacing I think thats about as dramatic as you can possibly be about this fucking picture:

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Its actually straight up insane how much fake outrage some people are putting out there over a dude taking a harmless picture like this. Do you know how much more FUCKED up shit you can find these days? There’s language and material on like basic fucking cable thats worse than this. Brooklyn Decker made a cheeseburger cum on CBS the other day for fucks sake. But here’s Michael Kay, spouting off about how vile and threatening he is while talking about how the youth of America need to be more responsible. Remember to tell those kids to stay off your lawn too, pal.

So from all of us here at Barstool Sports and really the rest of level headed Americans everywhere, Harvey 3:16 says Fuck You, Michael.

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CLICK HERE TO BUY

PS – I didn’t hear Francesa’s opening today but I heard he eviscerated Harvey as well. Middle Finger him too then. The backlash and outrage from this is getting fucking crazy.

By KFC posted April 23rd, 2014 at 2:30 PM

NYPD Twitter Photo Contest Backfires Big Time

Whoops-a-daisy!

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The Verge The New York Police Department attempted to harness Twitter to drum up support today, but things haven’t exactly gone as planned. Earlier today, the official NYPD Twitter account asked followers to tweet photos of themselves with NYC police officers under the hashtag #myNYPD — but so far, many users have jumped on that hashtag to flood it with images of police aggressively apprehending apparent suspects. So far, these are hardly the friendly images the NYPD was hoping for.

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Whoops-a-daisy! I got a question – have any of these type of Twitter promotions ever gone right? Any time any mainstream company or organization does this shit it backfires in the worst way imaginable. Mike & Mike did #AskEmmert with the head of the NCAA a couple weeks ago and they just got flooded with like thousands of people calling him a hypocritical idiotic asshole and sending pictures of dicks. The Penguins did #AskNeal with James Neal and it was just tons of people asking him if he takes pleasure in decapitating defenseless people.

And now the NYPD joins in on the fun with this “Send us a photo of you with a member of the NYPD!” How fucking stupid is that? Who the shit just has random nice photos with the police? Like that one picture they used to launch this twitter idea might be the only one thats just a harmless shot with the cops. The only other pictures with law enforcement are cops blasting people in the face with pepper spray and beating up minorities and abusing hipster protestors and shit. Just blows my mind how people still don’t see these backfires coming a mile away.

PS – The greatest Twitter promotion mishap of all time is still when Daniel Murphy took over the @Mets twitter:

 

Creampie talk will never be topped.

By KFC posted April 23rd, 2014 at 1:40 PM

Sounds Like Things Between Phil Jackson And James Dolan Are Going Just Great

Well this didn't take long

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NYDNPhil Jackson’s formidable task of rebuilding the Knicks and establishing a professional, winning culture at Madison Square Garden has already hit a familiar roadblock: James Dolan. Just one month into his role as Knicks president, Jackson has already clashed with Dolan, the chairman of Madison Square Garden, over personnel decisions, the Daily News has learned. According to a team source, Jackson is looking to remove several staff members, which is commonplace when a new administration takes over, but Dolan opposes removing certain employees. According to the source, Dolan’s reaction to Jackson’s request was to tell the 11-time NBA championship coach to simply focus his attention on building a winning team. To say that “minor friction,” as one Garden source called it, can be classified as Jackson’s honeymoon with Dolan being over may be stretching it a bit. But at the very least it proves that Dolan — surprise, surprise wasn’t being entirely truthful last month when he claimed he was “willingly and gratefully” giving up control of the basketball decisions to Jackson, the Hall of Fame coach. “In his role as president Phil will be in charge of all basketball decisions,” Dolan said after signing Jackson to a five-year, $60 million contract. Dolan made Jackson the richest executive in North American team sports history in part for his championship pedigree. And yet, Dolan is interfering with Jackson’s sincere effort to change the toxic culture of an organization that has won one playoff series in 14 years. It is unclear which employees Jackson wants to remove, but with the entire coaching staff fired on Monday, it is most likely personnel with the medical staff, front office and/or the media relations staff. Bleacher Report reported that Steve Mills, Allan Houston and Mark Warkentien could all be reassigned or possibly dismissed.

When Phil Jackson came to the Knicks, we all got excited. There was really only one name that carried enough weight to think he could turn the franchise around, and that was the Zen Master. But every Knicks fan knew that excitement came with one major caveat – Dolan had to shut the fuck up. Dolan had to stay out of the way and let Phil Jackson take complete control of this team. Everyone thought if there was one guy who could get James Dolan to take a backseat, it would be Phil Jackson. Still, it was a big time “I’ll believe it when I see it” sort of feeling.

Then they had their press conference. And James Dolan said absolutely everything he needed to say. For the first time literally ever, James Dolan sounded like a likable, competent owner and more or less promised to stay out of Phil Jackson’s affairs and let him run the show. That apparently has lasted all of like 2 weeks. I don’t know why I ever even entertained the thought of believe James Dolan. Why I ever thought he would actually stay out of the decision making process. I think I thought to myself “Not even James Dolan would pay someone 60 million dollars and interfere with them.” But that was dumb of me. Because that’s exactly something James Dolan would do. Be reckless with his money and meddlesome with his employees. Thats what he does best. Of course he’s doing it again.

And the funniest thing of all is this is like the most basic part of a new GM coming in. You clean house and bring in your own regime. From coaching to front office positions, your new president of basketball operations needs to install the guys he thinks are gonna do the best job. Herb Williams – God love him – is not going to be a part of Phil Jackson’s Knicks. Steve Mills is no longer needed if Phil is at the helm. Allan Houston – whatever the fuck it is he does – is no longer needed. This is as basic as it fucking gets and Dolan can’t help himself.

So now we’re back to square 1. Phil Jackson will probably bail after about 2 years because Dolan won’t shut the fuck up and this franchise will always suck until ownership changes. Feels good to be back. I didn’t like the uncertainty and possibility of success.

By KFC posted April 23rd, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Gamer Calls SWAT Team On Long Island Kid For Beating Him At Call Of Duty

Grandparents dying and losing at video games was like the only 2 things you had to worry about when you were a kid.

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NY PostLong Island police scrambled helicopters, emergency vehicles and an army of cops to a home where someone called in a bloody rampage on Tuesday. They arrived with guns drawn and ready for war — only to find out the call to cops was an act of revenge by a gamer whom the teen who lives inside had just beaten in an online “Call of Duty” battle. The prank caller told police over Skype that he was Rafael Castillo, 17, of Long Beach — and, “I just killed my mother and I might shoot more people,” cops said. But Castillo was only using virtual firearms in the online video game. “Some guy threatened to swat him,” Castillo’s brother Jose told The Post. “He was pissed that he had lost.” The disgruntled gamer had just been eliminated by Castillo and gave police the teen’s home address in a dangerous game called swatting, and the authorities went into full emergency mode. In the two hour standoff, authorities scrambled choppers over the house and rushed in more than 60 officers with weapons drawn — including elite members of Nassau County’s special operations unit. Fire trucks also sped to the home on Laurelton Boulevard near West Fulton Street. When cops got to the home, Castillo’s mother was in the kitchen and Rafael’s brother arrived home from lunch. “I thought there was a fire at my house. I ran up and saw my mom running out, I didn’t know what was going on,” said the brother, Jose, 21. “Then one of the police officers said somebody called and said that the mother and brother of somebody in this house was killed. I said ‘how is that possible if she’s right there and I’m right here?’” Cops tried for 20 minutes to call Rafael and get him to come out, but he had headphones on and was still glued to his video game console. “He didn’t realize anything was going on, he couldn’t hear anything,” his brother Jose said. “I told him that there’s a bunch of cops outside that are looking for you.”  Long Beach police commissioner Michael Tangney said it’s just the latest example of the “Swatting” game. “In this … bizarre world of Swatting, you get points for the helicopter, for the police cars, for the SWAT team, for the type of entry,” he told CBS. “It’s very sophisticated. Unfortunately, it’s very dangerous.

Remember how much it fucking sucked to lose at video games? I’m sure a lot of you guys are still gaming and I bet that sting never really goes away, but there was a time in life when losing at video games was like the worst thing that could happen to you. Grandparents dying and losing at video games was like the only 2 things you had to worry about when you were a kid. Didn’t matter whether it was a boss of a certain level you couldn’t beat or your friend if you were playing a 2 player game – there was an age when losing a video game was like the biggest adversity in your life. And everyone always had one friend that took it way too seriously. My cousin always used to throw the controller and accuse whoever he was playing of cheating. Had a friend named Goober who always cried every time his older brother beat him in video games. And I guess some kids now call the SWAT team and tell them you killed your mother. Some kinds just can’t handle the emotional stress of video games, man.

PS – So I guess “swatting” is like a game all in itself? Like “ha ha ha I called the police to your house?” Get points depending on how much law enforcement shows up? Its like Grand Theft Auto when you just drove around causing mayhem trying to get 5 stars except its actually real life and you’re trying to send helicopters to someones house. I swear kids are so weird these days. Whatever happened to just riding bikes and trying to get hand jobs?

By KFC posted April 23rd, 2014 at 11:10 AM
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