Yankees Trade Prado And Phelps For A Bag Of Balls

The Yankees will also be getting another player besides Eovaldi and Jones, in return for Phelps and Prado, in deal reported elsewhere. — Buster Olney (@Buster_ESPN) December 19, 2014 My initial reaction: I really wanted a full season of Prado, because he came in and actually gave a shit last year, which is exactly what [...]

My initial reaction:

I really wanted a full season of Prado, because he came in and actually gave a shit last year, which is exactly what we need this year. A guy who shows up every day to play and light a fire under the team. With these guys gone, what did we get?

Eovaldi, is a big arm that throws 97 with a slider and only 24 which makes us younger. Apparently the Yankees are big on that but he also gave up the most hits in the NL last year. Combine that with the 14 HRs he gave up last year, and I am not thrilled. Maybe the Yankees can find a way to use him at the back of the rotation to compensate for the underhand pitches CC will be throwing the day before.

Garrett Jones isn’t a terrible players but he sure as shit isn’t going to change this team. As an outfielder and first basemen, he is just another body to throw on the disaster that is the right side of our defense. If he can find some at bats when Tex goes on the DL for pulling out his tampon too quick in May and take a few out to the short porch in right, my opinion on him may change but I would rather have Prado.

Besides that we got a pitcher who was in the futures game last year and ranked as the 8th best prospect in the Marlins system. So I guess we have a farm system now.

I don’t see how this deal would indicate that we are going after any big fish that may still be out there, so it looks like the spending may be over for the year, Unless the couple of million we just saved is intended for spending. Now I just need to find a way to get KFC to tweet that Scherzer will never be a Yankee, so we can start playing his introductory press conference.


By jj posted December 19th, 2014 at 3:00 PM

KFC Radio Live 100th Episode Is Saturday, January 10th At Saloon

Big Cat is flying in from Chicago, Feits is coming down from Boston, and we'll all be in the same room for an episode for the first time ever.

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We’re closing in on our 100th episode of KFC Radio. A milestone for any sort of TV show or podcast or entertainment program. Just over 2 years of churning out those shows week in and week out. People hating every step of the way. Anybody with a sense of humor jumping on board week after week. Voicemails and questions and debates from the Stoolies, me, Big Cat and Feitelberg providing some of the funniest Barstool material for the past couple years. If you think about it, Big Cat’s entire Barstool career has been on camera with the KFC Radio gang. Jay Cutler, Kacie McDonnell, Neil, Patty Portnoy, Barstool Commenters, a few live calls – there’s been a lot of people involved in the show over the past couple seasons. So its only right we do it up big, pat ourselves on the back, and throw a fuckin great party.

Saturday, January 10th we’re going to do a live taping of our 100th episode at Saloon. Meaning we’ll just set up shop and record our episode in front of a live audience. Big Cat is flying in from Chicago, Feits is coming down from Boston, and we’ll all be in the same room for an episode for the first time ever. We’ll have the normal voicemails but we’ll also be doing crowd interaction and what not. If you wanna ask a question or write down a question, we’ll take your submissions right there on the spot.

This is gonna be a day drinking affair to ensure its the biggest shitshow possible. That Saturday is the Divisional Round of the NFL Playoffs. So we’re gonna do our show starting at like 2:30 and we’ll go right until 4pm kick off, then spend the rest of the day at the bar watching games and getting bombed. The stars aligned for this one, folks. Its gonna be a day you dont want to miss. So mark it down on your calendars and gear up for a big old shitshow with me Feits and Big Cat.

What: KFC Radio 100th Episode Live Show

When: Saturday, January 10th 2pm

Where: Saloon. 84th and York

Drink specials coming soon, I’ll keep you updated.

By KFC posted December 19th, 2014 at 2:30 PM

Reader Email – “You Threw Up On My Dick”

I respect the SHIT out of Rachel's spin game here.

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KFC,

Check out this text exchange from my buddies great night in NYC yesterday…priceless

Ham

I respect the SHIT out of Rachel’s spin game here. Thats how you turn a negative into a positive. Dude calls you out for vomiting on his penis? Tell him its because its so big it gagged you. Thats like advance PR shit. Graduate School of Damage Control. To be honest thats probably not even a negative for most dudes. I mean its not ideal and kinda messy but if you got a chick willing to give it her all to the point that she pukes thats probably a girl you’re going to call again. Even if she is saved in your phone as Rachel Puke Dick.

By KFC posted December 19th, 2014 at 1:54 PM

Pat Robertson Coming In Hot Saying Gays Are Gonna Go Extinct Because They Cant Reproduce

If eventually all the current gay people died out and we just start relying on straight people to make the gays, well it seems pretty reasonable that they're gonna go extinct. Just like the dodo or the sabertooth tiger.

Here’s the thing. I can’t really tell you why Pat Robertson is wrong here. Very similar to Curt Schilling saying evolution is wrong. I know in my head that neither of them are right. But if you’re gonna ask me to articulate an argument against this, I’m probably not gonna be able to do it.

I mean here are the facts we know – Gays cant get pregnant by having butt sex together. Here’s some info that we can’t call a fact, but the gays seem to really stand by this – being homosexual is something you’re born with.  Now if all the gays spend the rest of time butt fucking and not getting pregnant, it would stand to reason that not too many gay babies are being born. Sure, 2 straight parents can have a gay kid. But I’d imagine thats like 2 full size parents having a midget baby. Its possible, but pretty unlikely. Gotta have gay genes to make gay kids right? So if eventually all the current gay people die out and we’re just relying on straight people to make the gays, well it seems pretty reasonable that they’re gonna go extinct. Just like the dodo or the sabertooth tiger. No meteor necessary. Just simple science here. Gays are in trouble.

By KFC posted December 19th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

GTA Best Of The Best, Season 4 Week 6 Voting Now Open!

Champion Morgan Hultgren           VS. Challenger Julia Gilas                We’re getting closer, I think. Julia Gilas has an ass that can at least get in the ring with Morgan. The vote every week is a massacre. Last week was (1,176 votes, average: 3.40 out of 10). So I’m just hoping Julia can get closer to that elusive 5.5 [...]

Champion Morgan Hultgren

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VS.

Challenger Julia Gilas

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We’re getting closer, I think. Julia Gilas has an ass that can at least get in the ring with Morgan. The vote every week is a massacre. Last week was (1,176 votes, average: 3.40 out of 10). So I’m just hoping Julia can get closer to that elusive 5.5 mark. Lets see.

Vote 1 for Champ Morgan Vote 10 for Challenger Julia Gilas

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (923 votes, average: 4.53 out of 10)
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By KFC posted December 19th, 2014 at 12:50 PM

If Rex Ryan Joined The Patriots I’d Light Myself On Fire

Let me start by saying there's no chance this goes down. But if it did I think I'd have a mental breakdown.

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Let me start by saying there’s no chance this goes down. Rex is a better man than this. He just is. He has more honor and respect than this. He wants a head coaching job and if thats not in the cards hes going to TV. An assistant job ain’t in his plans. Winning a hollow Super Bowl under Belichick would just be pointless for him. On top of it all I think he knows how much of a scumbag move that would be and hes not a guy who would stab his fans in the back like this. Rex Ryan is not a “if you cant beat em, join em” type of guy. He never planned on Kissing The Rings and I dont think he does now.

But its been kicked around on twitter the past couple weeks and Feitelberg texted me last night asking me to take him through my emotions if Rex went to New England and won a Super Bowl with the Pats. And I honestly dont know what I’d do. I’ve been through a lot of shit as a fan. Collapses and embarrassments and circuses and scandals. I dont think anything can ever cut me to the core the way the 2007 Mets Collapse did. Because that was my team and it was directly wins and losses related. But I will tell you that if Darrelle Revis and Rex Ryan won a Super Bowl with the New England Patriots I think I would have a mental breakdown. I think if I had to watch Pres and Feitelberg celebrate another ring with the 2 cornerstones of the Jets brief but enjoyable window of successful football, that would be the straw that broke the losers back. I would probably legit swear off football at that point. I think I’d just abandon the NFL. Just stick to the Mets Knicks and Isles and give up on my Jets fandom all together. Pres jokes about the Pats murdering franchises but if this Perfect Storm of Patriots ever went down, that would legitimately murder me as a fan. There’s no coming back from that.

By KFC posted December 19th, 2014 at 12:00 PM

4 Asian Women Brawl On A Plane Over Crying Baby

Take 1 part Wacky Asian Behavior, add 1 part crying baby on an airplane, sprinkle in another part of chair seat back drama, shake it all up and you've got a recipe for fucking disaster.

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News.AuWE’VE all been there: A long-haul flight, with a baby crying all the way … But would you drag the mother out into the aisle and start a fist fight? The Chongqing Morning News is reporting a brawl between four women aboard a flight between China and Hong Kong almost caused an in-flight emergency. The ruckus, which happened only days after a woman flung boiling water at a flight attendant also on a flight to Hong Kong and a man opened an emergency exit for “fresh air”, saw four middle-aged women launch into each other. One passenger snapped a picture of the all-out brawl, where one of the participants was lifted and flung into the overhead lockers.  Air China Flight CA433, which had departed Chongquin about 9am, had only just reached cruising altitude when two of the women grew angry at the sound of a crying baby behind them. Snarky comments were exchanged, then the annoyed women reclined their seats as far back as possible to retaliate for the distressed baby’s cries. Then fists started to fly. Passengers told media the fight went on for “some time” before cabin crew managed to convince the brawling women that they would be even more inconvenienced if the aircraft had to turn back to the airport. Police were waiting for the four when the China Air flight landed an hour later.

Take 1 part Wacky Asian Behavior, add 1 part crying baby on an airplane, sprinkle in another part of chair seat back drama, shake it all up and you’ve got a recipe for fucking disaster. I mean this flight didnt stand a fucking CHANCE. Its a miracle it didnt go down in flame. Any one of those things is enough to derail a plane. Asians have absolutely no understanding of how to behave on public transportation. They let their babies shit on airplane seats, for Christ sake. Nobody has any level of rational tolerance for a crying baby on a plane. And getting into fights over putting your seat back has been the hottest thing in the streets in 2014. Now you mix that all together and thats like a Molotov Cocktail about to explode in a 747.

You all know my thoughts on crying babies on planes though. It is completely unacceptable. Once you have kids, there are certain things you dont get to do anymore. You dont get to stay out all night and party. You dont get to sleep soundly through the night. And you dont get to go on planes with your annoying kids. Period. Thats it. You should have that right revoked. Its just part of the sacrifice for having a family. If you drug them, fine. But otherwise it should be allowed. Bottom line if you bring your crying kid on the plane you deserve to be smashed into the overhead compartment.

By KFC posted December 19th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

77 Year Old Man Gets Demolished By A Rogue Tire Smashing Through The Window Of A Doctor’s Office

This is the perfect example of how crazy religious lunatics can be.

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HOUSTONA 77-year-old janitor counts himself lucky to be alive after a truck tire smashed through the window of a medical clinic where he was working and struck him late Tuesday night. Manuel Mendoza told Local 2 News through an interpreter, “It was sort of like an explosion.” Mendoza and his wife were cleaning the 45 Clinic in the 8200 block of Gulf Freeway at around 10:45 p.m. Mendoza was moving a chair in the waiting room when security video shows the tire smashing through the window, pushing the chair in his hands aside and knocking Mendoza to the floor. He stayed there for several minutes, apparently dazed. Mendoza was taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital by ambulance and treated for cuts and bruises, but he was found to have no major injuries. The tire, which was still attached to a brake drum, apparently came off a truck traveling inbound on the Gulf Freeway. It rolled across the freeway and feeder road and into the clinic’s parking lot where a second security camera shows it smashing into the window. The clinic’s owner, Dr. Joseph Sleiman, just happened to be passing the clinic that night on his way to the airport when he noticed the ambulance in front of his clinic and stopped to investigate. ”The man is very lucky. I’m so glad that he’s OK,” he said. Sleiman believes more than luck was involved in Mendoza’s survival. ”I believe, probably because Christmas, God was here. This is what I believe because this is a miracle,” he said.

This is the perfect example of how crazy religious lunatics can be. This dude was cleaning a medical clinic at almost 11pm at night. At the exact moment he decides to go straighten up the chairs right by the window, a rogue fucking TIRE flies off a truck, crosses a highway, avoiding all cars, medians, and obstacles that could potentially stop it or alter its course, and fucking DEMOLISHES this dude like a bowling ball. And their first reaction is ‘This man is very lucky.” Its a miracle, God was watching over him. How about that? How about that fucking shit? Has ANYBODY ever gotten more of a free pass than God? He’s like the Kate Upton of all knowing creators. This guy just got obliterated in perhaps the most unlucky turn of events the world has ever seen and his first reaction is praising God because he’s not dead. Setting the bar a little low there, arent we? How about instead of thanking God for just keeping you alive we say “Hey God, where were you on the 900 things that needed to fall perfectly into place for a runaway tire to decimate me while I was cleaning this office at 11pm? Where were you on that one, dipshit?”

If everyone got the free pass God got, it would be complete anarchy. Complete chaos. God’s up there mailing it in every day letting children die and shit and he just keeps getting all the praise. Its like Peter Gibbons in Office Space getting promoted for doing nothing. Unbelievable.

By KFC posted December 19th, 2014 at 10:20 AM
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