This is some Marty Hart-Reggie LeDoux vigilante justice right here that I think I can get behind.
NBC – A Texas father was found not guilty Wednesday of gunning down the man who killed his young sons in a drunken-driving accident. It took the jury three hours to acquit David Barajas, who was charged in the shooting death of 20-year-old Jose Banda Jr. in December 2012. “I thank God. This has been hard on me and my family,” Barajas told reporters. “It’s been a lot of weight lifted but I’m still very hurt.” An intoxicated Banda struck Barajas and his two children while they pushed the family’s disabled truck down a road, just 50 yards away from their home in Alvin, south of Houston. Barajas’ children — David, 12, and Caleb, 11 — were killed. Amid the chaos, authorities charged, Barajas went home, retrieved a gun and went back to the wreckage to shoot Banda in the head. But investigators never recovered a gun and didn’t have an eyewitness to the shooting. Barajas’ attorney, Sam Cammack, said his client’s only focus the night of the crash was trying to save his sons’ lives and that someone else killed Banda. The prosecutor Jeri Yenne said she had no regrets about bringing charges. “We believe that Mr. Barajas committed the crime and we also know the jury did not believe that beyond a reasonable doubt. We respect that,” she said.
This is some Marty Hart-Reggie LeDoux vigilante justice right here that I think I can get behind. I mean I’m not some Texas Forever Tim Riggins type who thinks we can all just be blasting people in the head all willy nilly. But here’s the thing – the world is going so far in the opposite direction with this kinda shit that I think I like seeing some crazy vigilante shit to balance it all out. For every story we hear about some rapist or murderer scumbag getting off on a technicality or something we need a dad who just gets to put a scumbag like this down. He’s like The Punisher or something. Antiheroes, so hot right now, Antiheroes.
Real life quote from a guy I'd say 65% of the world thought was dead: "Honestly, I don’t know if Obama knows I’m going to North Korea. He’s probably going to know."
NY Post – American rapper Pras Michel, who topped the charts in the 1990s with his band the Fugees, and is a friend of President Barack Obama, heads to North Korea on Friday to watch a wrestling match hosted by a Japanese politician and former pro wrestler. The trip comes six months after a series of visits to the isolated country by flamboyant NBA star Dennis Rodman, who made headlines when he watched a basketball match and shared drinks and cigars with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Rodman came in for criticism back in the United States over his visits but Michel said he only wanted to explore. “Honestly, I don’t know if Obama knows I’m going to North Korea. He’s probably going to know – and at some point the State department is going to know – but this is not a political trip, this is just a human being going there to explore something,” Michel told Reuters via telephone from Beijing. “I’m not sure what Dennis’ motives were, but he’s an athlete and basketball player and I’m an entertainer – there are two different agendas and I’m purely going there to explore,” said Michel. Michel is on a week-long trip of the country where he will watch a wrestling match hosted by Japanese politician Antonio Inoki which features former NFL linebacker Bob Sapp and martial arts displays from Korean and American fighters.
Ghetto superstar! That is what you are! Coming from a far! Reaching for the stars! Run away with meeee, to North Korea! We can watch a wrestling matttch, uh huh!
What a weird ass fucking story. How about Pras’ comments? “Honestly, I don’t know if Obama knows I’m going to North Korea.” Oh really? I think its probably a safe bet that Obama doesnt know a goddam thing about you, dude. Because you’re fucking Pras! Up until right now I’m pretty sure everyone thought you were dead. Like maybe, maybe, Obama would be like “Oh the dude who made Ghetto Superstar? The other Fugee? Yea I remember him.” But he certainly doesnt fucking care if you go to North Korea to “explore.” The State Department doesnt not give one flying fuck if Pras goes to the goddam moon. I mean keep cashing those checks from The Score and The Bulworth Soundtrack and explore wherever the fuck you want but lets pump the brakes with all this talk about POTUS keeping tabs on Praswell.
How far down the list of 25 is too far down the list?
Daily Dot – A few months ago, we reported on Heidi Van Horny, a Montreal-based porn actor who wanted to celebrate her 23rd birthday by having sex with 23 men at a swingers’ club. (Van Horny eventually backed out of the stunt, and the event was cancelled.) Not to be outdone by her Francophone compatriot, another adult film actress is planning a similar event at another club—except this time, she’s doing it to fund her breast implants. The adult performer, who goes by the nom de plume of Zoe Zebra, will star in “Boule-a-thon,” an event at a Quebec nightclub where she plans to have sex with 25 men—or be the recipient of “25 ejaculations,” as the Facebook page for the event adorably puts it—in one night. The show will be taped and broadcast online, and the 22-year-old Zebra says she’ll use the earnings from her performance to pay for her breast augmentation surgery. (What, she can’t use crowdfunding websites like the rest of us?) Boule-a-thon (or “Ball-a-thon,” for those who also got a C- in French) is being sponsored by the adult film company AD4X, which also sponsored Van Horny’s birthday celebration. The men will be picked from the crowd at random and taken to a trailer on the premises to Zebra, who will have final approval over who she has sex with on-camera. “I’m going to do it,” Zebra told Le Journal de Quebec. “I’ve made my decision and if I cancel, they will sue me. When I have an idea in my head, I don’t think of anything else.” Fair enough.
Taking “25 ejaculations” sounds so much worse than “having sex with 25 guys.” I mean dont get me wrong, a 25 man gangbang is no joke. I’m not saying anyone takes that lightly. 25 dicks and 50 balls all with 3 holes to share (unless we’re getting really weird with it) is very aggressive. But describing yourself as “the recipient of 25 ejaculations” just makes it sound even worse. Thats so much cum. So much fucking cum. Its like a nice little loophole for her to let a couple guys just JO on her if she runs out of gas, but when you still gotta get blasted by a stranger you absolutely get the credit in my book.
I guess the question is, if you’re one of the 25 selected, how far down the list do you need to be before you just say “Fuck it, banging this hooker isn’t worth it?” Obviously getting drafted number 1 overall is the Golden Ticket. You just get to fuck a fresh porn star for free and then head home. If you’re 2nd in line, you’re probably thinking to yourself “Fuck I was so close to being number 1,” but you still probably get up in there. I mean being second inside a chick is just like a threesome. As precarious as a Devils Threeway can be, I think we’d all agree most guys would just say fuck it and run up in there. When you’re in 3rd place I think you start to rationalize like “Ok well those first two dudes only lasted like 3 minutes each so add that up and thats technically only like 6 minutes with one dick, so I’m basically in second place.” By 4th place this chick is sticky and starting to get torn up, but you’re still like “well if everyone else got theirs, I’m gonna get mine.” But after that I think you get into diminish returns. 5th and up you gotta be a real fucking pervert and if you’re like the 25th guy on line who just jerks off onto this poor girls shoulder you should be thrown in jail.
First offense 6 games, second offense lifetime ban
You know it was only a matter of time before the league instituted some sort of official, on the books punishment for domestic violence after the Ray Rice situation. And yes, coinciding with Josh Gordon’s year long suspension made them look stupid. And yes, this is a reactionary move. And yes, the fact that Ray Rice will be out there Week 2 when its clear they truly feel like he should miss 6 games and be on the verge of a lifetime ban if he had another incident all looks very foolish.
But what can you do? I guess you can sit down and plan out punishments for every single crime so that there’s never anything in question but I don’t think thats realistic. There hadn’t really been any past incidents of this magnitude (that I know of) where they needed to address a player’s domestic violence issues. Now, unfortunately, an issue arose, they did what they could under the rulebook, and have amended it going forward. Its not perfect but its a step in the right direction.
My question is, do you have to get convicted? Like there were never any charges against Ray Rice but he still got suspended. If there is just evidence of an assault can you get that 6 game suspension and a subsequent lifetime ban? Because I’m not trying to go all Stephen A Smith on you here but domestic disputes can be messy, murky situations. Ray Rice’s was obviously very clear cut but if there’s an argument and a push or a grab or something along those lines after a slap in the face or an instigation of some sort, who’s to say what that amounts to? Definitely dont want to protect any scumbags but also dont want to see lifetime bans if everyone involved doesnt get due process.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, worse than a bitch who fakes pregnancy.
NEWSER) – A panda research center in China called off what would have been the first-ever live broadcast of a panda birth after determining that panda Ai Hin wasn’t pregnant—just crafty. Pregnant pandas at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding get special treatment, and while “phantom pregnancies” among pandas are fairly common, experts suspect Ai Hin was actually faking symptoms, including reduced mobility, to get herself treats like extra bamboo, CNN reports. ”After showing prenatal signs, the ‘mothers-to-be’ are moved into single rooms with air conditioning and around-the-clock care,” an expert at the base explains. “They also receive more buns, fruits, and bamboo, so some clever pandas have used this to their advantage to improve their quality of life.” There are just 1,600 giant pandas left in the wild, so the breeding program is crucial to the species’ survival, though only around a quarter of captive female pandas give birth, AFP notes. (One person who took a surprising interest in panda sex: Richard Nixon.)
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, worse than a bitch who fakes pregnancy. I dont care if you’re some chick trying to get a ring or get an ex back or a giant panda trying to get extra bamboo. Theres just a certain line you dont cross and pretending you’re knocked up is one of them. I mean how do you think all those other pandas feel about you now? You’re just some ratchet THOT panda trying to bogart all the bamboo. Whole fucking species is on the verge of extinction and Ai Hin just wants all the bamboo and buns and fruits for herself. Keep up that act, bitch. Keep faking reduced mobility and shit for all the panda snacks. When all your panda friends are fucking dead and you’re the only bitch left on earth you won’t think you’re so clever.
I'll fly to Holland or the Netherlands or Luxembourg or wherever the fuck the Dutch are from and get arrested right now if thats what it takes to find this girl
NYDN - Her looks alone are arresting. A smokin’ hot female Dutch cop has the Internet swooning as a two-year-old photograph of the sexy officer has once again swept the web. The stunning law enforcement officer was snapped in May 2012 while investigating a robbery in the town of Wassenaar in the Netherlands. Wearing tight white pants, cowboy boots and a snug fitting top — not to mention the gun holstered around her waist — the stoic cop’s sultry look and smooth curves had Reddit users going gaga.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in the internet. Officer Smokestack over here goes viral in 2012 and we still dont know who she is? Still dont have her instagram, twitter, facebook, and social security number?? Cmon now. Maybe Anonymous can get their priorities straight, drop the whole Ferguson, Missouri thing, and focus their efforts on finding the Hot Dutch Cop? Because its an affront to the internet and dudes everywhere that she hasn’t been tracked down.
I’ll fly to Holland or the Netherlands or Luxembourg or wherever the fuck the Dutch are from and get arrested if I have too. Bring your cowboy boots, your white pants, those tits and your gun and you can use all the police force you want, officer. I’ll take this hit for the internet if it means getting her to come out the wooden shoes she’s hiding in.
Hey bro were you at the game? No. Were you injured? Nope. Was it an excused absence? Strike three.
NYDN - Dimitri Patterson’s mysterious saga keeps getting stranger. The veteran cornerback, who did not show up for the Jets-Giants preseason game and went AWOL for 48 hours according to the team, sent a statement to ESPN on Thursday contradicting the team’s version of events. “As it relates to my whereabouts and me missing for 48 hours without being seen or heard from me or my representative is completely false,” the cornerback said in the statement. “My agent reached out to the Jets organization multiple times several hours prior to Friday night’s game.” The only statement that Patterson’s agent, Drew Rosenhaus, has made so far is that the cornerback would return to the team last Sunday, which he did. The Jets suspended Patterson after meeting with him, but announced that he would eligible to return on Monday, September 1. The feeling in the organization had been that Patterson was displeased with the cornerback pecking order. Patterson was a presumed starter for the regular season, but because he was dealing with several injuries Rex Ryan said the veteran cornerback would not have started the preseason game against the Giants had he shown up. “My commitment to the Jets organization and to my teammates has never been an issue and never will be an issue,” Patterson said in the statement. “As it relates to the rumors about my frustration in regards to the depth chart is totally and completely false. In nine years I have never had control over the depth chart.” The status Jets’ two projected starters at cornerback, Dee Milliner and Patterson, is both uncertain. Milliner is dealing with a high ankle sprain and Patterson’s roster spot has to be considered a question mark after he has continued to defy the team.
Hey bro were you at the game? No. Were you injured? Nope. Was it an excused absence? Strike three. You werent there when you were supposed to be. You went AWOL. Your agent calling the Jets and telling them you weren’t in trouble with the law and were physically OK doesn’t count dude. If you miss work and someone calls your boss and says “Dont worry he’s not in jail and hes not hurt” your boss says “Great then where the fuck is he?” And the mere fact that you’re releasing statements through your reps and not taking care of this in house is only making the situation worse. So spare me the whole “my commitment to the Jets has never been and will never be an issue.” Because it clearly is. Missing that game, releasing this statement, and shady circumstances regarding a fucking disappearance are 100% reasons to question your commitment. If this team didn’t have the worst secondary known to man your bags would already be packed.
PS – I still think they shouldnt hesitate to axe him if this continues to get worse. Yea, we’re thin at CB but thats the point. You want a mediocre corner thats causing massive headaches and media problems or another shitty back thats gonna just keep quiet and play? Dimitri Patterson certainly isnt valuable enough to give him major slack in this department.
Raised $11,000 for cancer and got to eat delicious Chipotle for 100 days? Seems like a win win
My best friend Joe has undertaken a challenge called “100 days of chipotle” in which he has one burrito from Chipotle every day for the past 92 days. He’s doing it to raise money and awareness for his fraternity brother who was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer a couple of months ago. So far he and his fraternity have raised $11,000, and while his other brothers have been running marathons, he has been eating obscene amounts of Chipotle. His name is Joe Gallo. They are throwing him a 100th day banger on Friday (8/29) at Ainsworth on Park (18th and Park). He and I are both huge stoolies and we have seen how much influence you guys have on stoolies in need and so it would be cool if you could come or get the word out about this great cause. Here is the link to the “Grund Fund”, the kid who has brain cancer is named Brett Grund:
100 days of Chipotle. 11 grand raised for his buddy suffering from cancer. Hell of a job by Joe Gallo, Emily and all the people donating to the Grund Fund and supporting Brett.
Joe is at the finish line here. Judging by his Instagram, which chronicles every single day from day 1 with pictures and video, today is day 99. Suffice it to say he’s most definitely Team Burrito. Now we’ve clearly had this debate before here at the Stool. We all saw how the Pizza/Burrito Challenge worked. Dave cracked after like 10 days because he’s a pussy. But this is way different. This is just one per day. I’m going on the record as saying thats very doable. So I spoke with Joe this morning and did some investigative research:
I can totally understand the inconvenience part. Especially that its specifically Chipotle not just burritos. Your life basically revolves around Chipotle locations for 3+ months. And I get that its easy to sit here, 0 days into a Chipotle Challenge, and say that 100 days in I’d be totally fine. But I think having the same thing for lunch every day isn’t crazy. Could you eat a sandwich for lunch for 100 days? I’m pretty sure thats how most of the world does it anyway. I’m sure there are days where you’d prefer to not have a Chipotle burrito but there could be worse things. Its like a reverse diet – a lot easier than a normal diet.
Lets take a vote. Vote 1 for I could do that easily Vote 10 for its way harder than it sounds
Regardless, incredible job by Joe. Love the commitment and the showmanship all over the Instagram. The party at Ainsworth this Friday should be awesome. Any NYC Stoolies who love burritos, hate cancer, and like to party should be there.