Dude Prank Calls MSNBC Pretending To Be Giants Tight End Larry Donnell On The Delta Flight That Skidded Off The Runway And Gives A Fuck Her Right In The Pussy

Pretending to be Larry Donnell = A+. Doing "Fuck her right in the pussy" = F-

So this is the big news here in NYC today. Delta flight skidded off the runway and broke through a fence. And this prank call had SO much potential. Pretending to be Larry Donnell is a great prank call move. Its far fetched but not too far fetched. Totally believable. Definitely possible. Its like when we wanted to do the Gerry MacNamara death hoax. A guy of his caliber was the perfect candidate. But to go and ruin it with a fuck her in the pussy is so lame. So unoriginal. As good as Larry Donnell was thats how bad a fuck her right in the pussy is in 2015. Too played out.

All that being said I LOVE when news anchors cant catch on to whats happening. I’m sure its because you’ve got producers in one ear and the phone call in the other and you’re trying to just think of what you’re going to say next and they probably arent even listening to the caller in the first place. But its also because they are always naive and oblivious and cant catch on to a clown playing them. I love the awkwardness when they try to keep the interview going and someone has to explain what happened. Classic awkward white people shit.

PS – Delta saying this flight “exited the runway” and didnt “skid” is hilarious. Some true PR snake it til you make it damage control. Technically they’re not wrong. It did “exit” the runway.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2015 at 1:42 PM

Manhattan Elementary School Gets Rid Of Homework, Encourages Students To Play Instead

What a time to be alive if you're an elementary school kid. At no other point in human history has it been this good to be a kid.

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KIPS BAY — A public elementary school is abolishing traditional homework assignments and telling kids to play instead — outraging parents who say they may pull their kids out of the school. Teachers at  P.S. 116 on East 33rd Street have stopped assigning take-home math worksheets and essays, and are instead encouraging students to read books and spend time with their family, according to a letter the school’s principal, Jane Hsu, sent to parents last month. “The topic of homework has received a lot of attention lately, and the negative effects of homework have been well established,” Hsu wrote in her letter, which was sent home with students. “They include: children’s frustration and exhaustion, lack of time for other activities and family time and, sadly for many, loss of interest in learning.” Hsu explained that the school spent more than a year “analyzing studies focused on the effects of traditional homework” and decided that it was more important for the Pre-K through fifth grade students to do activities that “have been proven to have a positive impact on student academic performance and social/emotional development” such as reading at their own pace and playing. ”In fact, you may be surprised to learn that there have been a variety of studies conducted on the effects of homework in the elementary grades and not one of them could provide any evidence that directly links traditional homework practices with current, or even future, academic success.”

What a time to be alive if you’re an elementary school kid. At no other point in human history has it been this good to be a kid. You come out of the womb with the greatest technology already in your hands. You’re getting your dick sucked by the time you’re in like 4th grade. And now you dont even have to do homework. Absolutely incredible. Its a goddam free for all if you’re like 9 years old right now. Its not even like fucking homework is hard these days! Just literally type in every question into Google and it will answer it for you. If you’re an elementary school aged kid in the year 2015 you dont even need to have a brain to be a functioning human and here goes PS 116 making it even easier for them. Don’t worry about that book report! Just go get a blow job from little Suzie in the third grade! Forget about that math assignment, go play Xbox where the video games are basically virtual reality. Why do a shoe box diorama when you can go watch full length HD porn for free! I’d probably get laid more and have more fun if I was in 4th grade right now.

And one day we’ll look back on this era the way people look at Babe Ruth’s stats. Like “Well what the fuck was going on here?” Because there will be a correction coming soon. This era of kids who dont even have to do homework and get everything they ever want will grow up to be disaster adults. They’ll all have drug problems and they’ll be like the Occupy Wall Street assholes but only worse. So society will eventually have to step in and be like “Alright enough is enough. Everyone has to do homework again and we’re making it illegal to get a blow job until you’re at least 15. Gotta get these kids in check somehow.” And the pendulum will swing back the other way until its like the 1950s again and the cycle continues. But this time period of the early 2000s will be viewed as complete and utter anarchy for anyone aged 7-15.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2015 at 12:00 PM

Dude Claims He’s Wilt Chamberlain’s Secret Son

If you were born between years of like 1955 and 1975 and you're tall, dark and dont know who your dad was, you an just go ahead and assume you're Wilt Chamberlains.

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SIAaron Levi wanted to know who he was, where he came from, where he belonged. His curiosity was born of a feeling that he was different. He was a biracial child adopted by a white couple when he was six months old. Taller than his schoolmates at almost every age, he was 6′ 5″ by the time he left high school. He was also gay—and, he said, desperately trying to hide it. In 2003, nearing 40, Levi finally began to search for answers to his questions. When he found and spoke with his biological mother, he heard in her accent that she was British. But that wasn’t the most surprising revelation. Levi was told that his biological father was the most transformative player in pro basketball history and one of the most transcendent athletes of the 20th century. Out of the blue I received an email from Levi in February 2014. The subject line read, “In regards to Wilt Chamberlain.”

If you’re interested in all the details of this dude’s life journey, you can go over to SI and read about 25,000 words on it. If you want the short version, stick around here with me. “Did Wilt Chamberlain have a son?????”

Answer: Yes, motherfuckers. Of course. He fucked 20,000 women! I mean this headline is laugh out loud funny when you think about it:

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Yes bro he 100% absolutely had some kids. Probably dozens. If you told me Wilt Chamberlain had over a hundred bastards running around I would absolutely believe it. Zero hesitation. Its a numbers game, folks. You dont have sex with 20,000 vaginas and not slip at least 10 past the goalie. I mean Wilt probably dropped upwards of a trillion sperm inside chicks. Yes he fucking impregnated some of them.

It could be this 6 foot 5 gay dude who looks kinda Middle Eastern. I’m sure there are some black ones, some half white ones. A few half Asians mixed in the bunch. More or less if  you were born between years of like 1955 and 1975 and you’re tall, dark and dont know who your dad was, you an just go ahead and assume you’re Wilt Chamberlains.

PS – How pissed would you be to find that shit out when you were 40? I feel like you could at least nab a college scholarship at the very least regardless of how good or bad you were at hoops just being The Stilt’s son. Being 40 and fat and gay and finding out youre Wilt’s son stinks.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2015 at 11:10 AM

In Honor Of Russell Westbrook, The Top 5 Triple Double Performances In Basketball History

Last night fucked around and got a triple double!

So immediately after recording his 4th straight triple double, people started talking about MJ’s streak. In 1989 when he had 10 triple doubles in 11 games:

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Crazy streak. For three straight weeks the dude had a triple double. So last night I went down the rabbit hole looking at the best Triple Double performances in NBA/Basketball history.

5. Manute Bol dropping  32 points, 29 rebounds, 31 blocks in college at D3 Bridgeport

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31 blocks is hilarious. Just not fair that some 7 foot 7 tree sitting in the middle of the lane swatting away some D3 white boys 31 times. Also fun fact Manute Bol invented the phrase “my bad” because he didnt know the correct phrase was “my fault.”

4. FAT LEVER going 31 points, 16 rebounds, 20 assists, 6 steals in 1988

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The top 5 players with most triple doubles in NBA history is Oscar, Magic, J Kidd, Wilt, and Larry Bird. Number 6 is your boy Lafayette Lever. One of the greatest games ever from a dude with one of the greatest names ever.

3. David Robinson’s Quadruple Double – 34 points, 10 rebounds, 10 assists, 10 blocks

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Only 4 Quadruple Doubles ever and The Admiral had the biggest of all dropping 34 to go along with 10 boards assists and blocks. David Robinson is a criminally underrated player. Remember that time he dropped 71 points? Bananas.

2. Wilt’s Double Triple Double 22 points, 25 rebounds, 21 assists

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This gets the nod over the Quadruple Doubles because it happened in 1968 when blocks werent a recorded stat. Wilt probably had 10+ blocks that night too so technically it was a quadruple double.

1. Oscar Robertson averaging 31 points, 13 rebs, 11 assists in 1961-62

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Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Not that Oscar flies under the radar, but I still feel like hes under appreciated. He’s just a little more forgotten than some of the other greats for one reason or another. 178 career triple doubles. 40 more than second place Magic. In 1961-62 you could bank on a triple double on an average night from The Big O. Nuts.

Honorable Mention:

Kareem  50 points, 10 rebounds, 11 assists  - To be honest this should take the place of Fat Lever but I wanted to have Fat Lever on the list strictly because of his name

Ice Cube messing around and getting a triple double during his Good Day – You know how hard it is to get a triple double playing street ball? Playing by 1s, relying on the guys in the playground for your assists, keeping track of your stats. You could argue Cube’s playground triple double is the most impressive of all.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2015 at 10:20 AM

Bob Barker And Adam Sandler Reunite For A Great Skit In Support Of Autism

90s nostalgia always puts asses in the seats and throwing it back to the days when Adam Sandler was actually funny is just a layup.

Starts a little slow but once it gets cookin, its right back to Happy Gilmore and the Pepsi Pro-Am. Bob’s line about tossing his salad in order to get in another movie was choke-on-your-breakfast funny. Like welp, I guess we’re taking this skit to the next level! The thought of Rob Schneider eating Adam Sandler’s ass is truly, genuinely the most gruesome thought Ive ever had. Especially because Adam Sandler is aging like a homeless person living on the street. The Price is Right jokes, the shots about Sandler being a hack, the bedpan and the ebola were all good stuff. Icing on the cake was Chubbs, Abe Lincoln and the crocodile in heaven. 90s nostalgia always puts asses in the seats and throwing it back to the days when Adam Sandler was actually funny is just a layup. No need to try to get cute with it when you’re raising money for Autism. Just play the hits.

By KFC posted March 5th, 2015 at 9:30 AM

Barstool NYC Local Smoke Show Of The Day – Rachael

introducing rachael from rutgers. grab her and a fat sandwich and no one is happier in the world.

introducing rachael from rutgers. grab her and a fat sandwich and no one is happier in the world.

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By t bone posted March 4th, 2015 at 5:30 PM

The First-Ever NYC Porn Film Festival In Brooklyn Is Exactly What You’d Expect A Brooklyn Porn Festival To Be

The Three Stars from this video are all time classics

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CLICK HERE TO PLAY VIDEO. FUCK AUTOPLAY

When you hear “Porn Festival,” you probably think of something like this:

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As soon as you hear “Porn Festival In Brooklyn,” however, you should immediately be prepared for this:

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Some dude in Bono shades with a dick on the end of a pole and a couple of trannies. I mean when this is the guy working the door and the big entrance to the Porn Expo:

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You know what you’re in store for. So without further adieu I present the Three Stars of the 2015 Brooklyn Porn Festival:

Third Star – The Straight Shooter

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Why am I at the Porn Festival? Because I’m fucking obsessed with porn, bro. Pretty simple stuff. Second Star – The Educational Porn Fan

Dont mind me. Just hear to learn how to deep throat and explore the intricacies of breast feeding porn. Guy is gonna pick up pamphlets and reading material on the way out to practice at home First Star – Doug Fister over here

If you’re a fisting lover you gotta roll with the fisting crowd. Not like a fister can just hang out with people who do regular fingering. So this is almost like a networking event for him. All the fisting you can get in the basement of some Brooklyn apartment.

By KFC posted March 4th, 2015 at 4:30 PM

Barstool Hotline Is Open For This Week’s KFC Radio

In like a lion, baby! March madness, Spring Break, St Pattys day. Ton of material this month for KFC Radio. 646-807-8665

KFCRadio

 

In like a lion baby! Lets start off one of the best months of the year with another banger episode of KFC Radio. Theres a ton to talk about this month. St. Pats, March Madness, your boy KFC turning 30, Spring Break. The whole 9. No shortage of material so lets fire it up. Call 646-807-8665 and talk about any and all of this shit.

Or you can tweet us @kfcradio or use the KFC Radio Mailbox if you’re too afraid to call.

By KFC posted March 4th, 2015 at 4:00 PM
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