Dimitri Patterson Returns To The Jets

Fun little weekend for Dimitri Patterson where he decided to just not show up for work

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ESPN – AWOL for nearly 48 hours, New York Jets cornerback Dimitri Patterson returned to the team’s facility Sunday night and met with Rex Ryan and general manager John Idzik. The team announced the meeting, but provided no additional comment. Word of his anticipated return, leaked earlier by his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, came two hours after Idzik announced that Patterson didn’t show up for Friday night’s game and couldn’t be reached or located. Idzik termed it an “unexcused” absence, saying he still hadn’t talked to Patterson. The only thing the Jets knew was that he was safe and unharmed, Idzik said. Rosenhaus declined to comment on the reason for Patterson’s disappearance. This is a strange and mysterious twist for a team dealing with adversity at the cornerback position. Right now, their most experienced healthy corner is Kyle Wilson, who plays the slot. Patterson, too, is banged up, recovering from calf, ankle and quadriceps injuries. Idzik hinted that Patterson could be disciplined, but he declined to speculate on whether the absence would result in a fine or impact his standing on the team. Idzik said he needed to speak with Patterson before making that determination. He wanted to find out why the well-traveled veteran “would take such a drastic step.” On Friday, Patterson attended meetings, the walk through and the pre-game meal, but he never showed up at MetLife Stadium. Because of his injuries, he was questionable to play. At first, they thought he may have been stuck in traffic. Team officials spent the night trying to track him down, making numerous phone calls.  ”Without putting an APB out, you’re trying everything you can,” Jets coach Rex Ryan said. “You’re trying all the numbers you have, you name it. … Obviously, as the game wore on, we still had a major concern.” It wasn’t until Saturday that Idzik confirmed that Patterson was okay, but the team still didn’t know his whereabouts. The players were off Saturday. On Sunday, he didn’t show up for practice. Idzik doesn’t believe it was a legal matter. “Not to my knowledge,” he said. “We have a very cursory knowledge of what’s going on. That’s the extent of it. We know he’s okay and haven’t been able to communicate with him. That’s it in a nut shell.”

Fun little weekend for Dimitri Patterson where he decided to just not show up for work. I’d be lying if I said I never thought about pulling that move. Like Peter Gibbons in Office Space. Sometimes you just think about flat out not going to work. “I don’t like my job, and, I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.” I think about that with Barstool all the time. Like if I just didn’t blog nothing would change at all. Portnoy probably wouldnt even notice if I just stopped writing. There would still be a hundred other blogs from a hundred other cities and it wouldn’t matter one bit.

Thats basically the Jets and their cornerback situation. Show up, don’t show up, who gives a shit. You all suck anyway. We got one CB with a torn ACL, one with a bum ankle, one that just doesn’t fucking show up to games, and one thats Kyle Wilson. At this point anybody you plug in there can pretty much live up to those standards so really whats the difference if Dimitri Patterson is even there or not.

PS – A non-existent Dimitri Patterson is still better than Kyle Wilson. Why can’t he be the one disappearing?

By KFC posted August 25th, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Foodie Hipsters Eating Inside A Dumpster This Weekend In Brooklyn

Fuckin white people, man


WSJBruised apples, floppy herbs and moldy grapes might not be considered acceptable ingredients for most home cooks. But a Manhattan man is hoping to change New Yorker’s outlook on food freshness—one dinner party at a time. Josh Treuhaft, a recent graduate of the design for social innovation master’s program at the School of Visual Arts, has hosted seven Salvage Supperclubs, where he served past-prime food to diners inside a scrubbed down dumpster. In all, the dinner rescued 1.8 pounds of food per person that was otherwise destined for the landfill. Culled from farms, farmers markets, restaurants and home kitchens, the waste was still perfectly safe and nutritious, Mr. Treuhaft said—the chef just needed to be creative in its handling. ”People don’t like waste. It’s icky,” said Mr. Treuhaft, whose thesis originally focused on composting and remaking waste but then evolved to become the intersection of food and waste. “When you talk about food, people’s faces light up.” A group of 16 adventurous foodies stepped into the dumpster, donated by a waste management company, along St. Marks Avenue in Brooklyn Thursday and seated themselves alongside fresh planks of lumber from Home Depot. Mr. Treuhaft said that he preferred to make his tables from decommissioned scaffolding, but his source, Build It Green, didn’t have any this week. Attendees paid $50 for the six-course meal, with profits going to City Harvest, an organization that rescues food and gives it to those in need. The diners agreed that the food was good, if a bit light. Tiny beets from Queens County Farm, too small and time-consuming for farmers to pull from the ground, arrived to the table with their curly tail still intact. The dumpster itself was so eye-catching that Treuhaft spent much of the dinner chatting with strangers who stopped to observe the scene. Some snapped photos. Children stopped too, asking the obvious question: “Are you eating in a dumpster?”

This is it, folks. This is the one. This is the whitest moment of all time. Eating beets inside of a goddam garbage receptacle. Like some sort of hipster Dwight Schrute shit. Clayton Kershaw’s crew would take a look at these asshole foodies and be like “You motherfuckers are whiter than Wonder Bread.” And the best part is I can’t even figure out the “cause” behind this one. Eat dinner in a dumpster to help raise awareness about food waste and past-prime food? Like theres some sort of epidemic of people cooking spoiled food and then throwing it out or some shit.

I dunno man, I got nothin on this one. No rational reason anybody should ever eat in a garbage can. Just gotta chalk this up to “White people have too much time on their hands” and keep it moving. Get back to white people basics like eating hummus from a food truck.

By KFC posted August 25th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

What Do You After A 6.0 Earthquake Turns Your City Into Rubble? You Shred Gnar

Did I use that terminology correctly? I'm not hip.

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Did I use that terminology correctly?  I’m not hip.  I’m not with the times.  But even I know, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade.  You make the best of it because everything else is shit.  And when your city gets hit by a 6.0 earthquake and turns everything into rubble and builds mini ramps in the street, you shred gnar.  You shred gnar because that’s the only thing left to do.  It’s a way of life.  Do I just like saying “shred gnar”?  Yes I do.  It’s super fun to say.  I’ve never done it in my life because I have zero coordination but that won’t stop me from saying it over and over again.  Shredding gnar.  I went snowboarding once but in no way, shape or form can what I did that day be constituted as shredding gnar.  It was the exact opposite of shredding gnar.  It was mostly me falling on my face and eating eating tons of snow until I got fed up and decided to get drunk in the lodge while my friends kept going.  Shaun White I am not.


In all honesty, that picture is pretty awesome.  It started going viral yesterday after the earthquake hit San Francisco.  One of the cooler pictures you’ll see and it seems to sum up California pretty well.  And since Barstool LA is still on vacation I thought I’d share it with the rest of you.




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By trent posted August 25th, 2014 at 10:05 AM

Teacher Volunteers To Be Part Of A Lion Demonstration And Promptly Gets Mauled

You're kidding me! I'm shocked.


Mirror- This is the moment a teacher cheated death in front of her pupils after being attacked by a lion when she entered its cage as a volunteer. The animal leapt on Roxana Guevara and tossed her around like a rag doll at a circus in the Peruvian city of Cuzco. Miraculously, she managed to get up and stagger to safety after it freed her from its jaws as the lion tamer chased it around the cage, trying to beat it with a stick. Roxana, who had taken her pupils along to watch the show, suffered severe scratches to her neck and chest. Speaking from her hospital bed, Roxana relived her terrifying ordeal. Ironically, she said volunteered to demonstrate the lion wasn’t aggressive.


You’re kidding me!  I mean I just can’t believe it.  I’m absolutely shocked this lady got attacked after she decided to walk into a caged area with a wild lion.  Absolute blasphemy.  I would’ve been less shocked had I woke up without legs this morning.  It’s almost like it’s in the lion’s nature to attack its prey and wrestle it to the ground without an ounce of pity.  Who knew he would react like that?  Or in this case run around in circles while the teacher does her best impression of a rag doll.  People who do this shit are so fucking stupid.  They get into a confined space with a wild animal and then everybody acts super surprised when the lion acts exactly the way the lion is supposed to.  Remember that one dude from Vegas who thought he was was best friend’s with a lion?  He trained it for like a million years and maybe they were best friends.  But all it takes is one day when the lion gets fed up and says, “Fuck this shit.  I don’t want to be your whipping boy anymore.  I’m a million times more powerful than you” and then it’s lights out.  I think all trained circus-type animals should do this.  Stage a widespread revolt.  Just start killing all of their trainers and owners.  That would make us afraid of wild animals and you know why?  Because they’re fucking wild animals and we should be afraid of them.  If you’re stupid enough to think a wild animal won’t do wild animal things then you give up any right to be mad when a lion rips your face off.

By trent posted August 25th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Mike Francesa ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Takes You Into The Weekend!

What a moment for Mongo Nation

Uttah Disastah – The Mike Francesa.com from Tapatalk on Vimeo.

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Never thought I’d see the day when Francesa would let someone ruin his hair like that. Afterwards Mike explained how he likes really hot water, not cold water while the crowd was yelling shit at him like “Fix your hair.” A Mongo Nation wet dream.

How about this asshole?

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Why would you even enter the raffle if you knew you were gonna leave early? Coulda had a Stoolie up there representing Mongo Nation and instead Joe here had to get home early on a Friday afternoon. Fucking KILLING me.

By KFC posted August 22nd, 2014 at 6:23 PM

There’s Never Been A More Phil Mickelson Moment Than Him Hitting It From The Hospitality Tent

"Aw shucks, I hit it into the hospitality area. I guess I'll go mingle with the folks."


Fucking Phil.  Man of the people.  Maybe the most Phil moment of all Phil moments.  You would never think this is a guy who the feds were after just a few months ago for insider trading.  The way people react when they see him is nothing but love.  And he just soaks it all in and looks surprised that people are so happy to see him.  What a guy.


“Aw shucks.  I hit it into the hospitality tent.  I guess I’ll go mingle with the folks.”



h/t scott


By trent posted August 22nd, 2014 at 5:04 PM

I Don’t Understand Why This Murder Suspect’s Lawyer Thinks He Won’t Be Able To Find Jurors Who Will Judge His Client Fairly

  Daily Mail- A Massachusetts lawyer is concerned that it will be difficult to find impartial jurors for an upcoming murder trial given his client’s unique appearance, namely, implanted horns and a satanic tattoo. Caius Veiovis, 33, is the third suspect to face trial in the August 2011 slayings of David Glasser, Edward Frampton and [...]

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Daily Mail- A Massachusetts lawyer is concerned that it will be difficult to find impartial jurors for an upcoming murder trial given his client’s unique appearance, namely, implanted horns and a satanic tattoo. Caius Veiovis, 33, is the third suspect to face trial in the August 2011 slayings of David Glasser, Edward Frampton and Robert Chadwell. Veiovis’ signature look includes two rows of bumps resembling horns protruding from his forehead, a ‘666’ tattoo between them, and other facial and neck tattoos. he also has surgically altered the shape of his ears to make them elf-like.  After discussing the matter, a Hampden Superior Court judge on Thursday told defense lawyer James Reardon Jr. he would ask potential jurors if there was anything about the Veiovis’ appearance that would keep them from being fair. The trial is scheduled to start September 3. Veiovis has pleaded not guilty to counts of murder, kidnapping and witness intimidation.


What the hell is this lawyer talking about?  His client looks totally normal.  No juror is going to look at him and judge him unfairly or like he’s already guilty.  Come on, gimme a break.  Last time I checked 95% of the world has those devil-looking bumps on their heads.  Totally and completely normal.  And you’re lying to yourself if that 666 tattoo on his forehead is anything less than inviting.  I might even go as far as to call it warm and welcoming.  Solely based on looks, I’d let him baby sit my kids without supervision.  That’s how nice he looks.  The bone that’s jutting through is nose is simply the cherry on top of what happens to be the nicest looking face in the United States of America.  In all honesty, he might not get a fair trial because he looks too friendly and nice and not like a guy who would kill three people.


PS- That guy is fucked.

By trent posted August 22nd, 2014 at 4:12 PM

Seung-Yui Noh Hits His Ball Off The Wrong Green And Doesn’t Seem To Know That’s Something You Never Ever Do

Rules? What rules?


Just your standard professional golfer breaking one of the “Day 1 stuff” type of rules today at The Barclays and hitting an iron shot off the wrong green.  Apparently he hit his drive WAY right, the ball landed on the opposite green and he simply said “fuck it” and proceeded to put a giant divot on the green.  Totally fine.  It’s not like other golfers have to putt on the green or anything.  That divot won’t effect them at all.  I’ve actually never seen anything like that happen.  You never think it’s going to happen.  Most (every professional player but Noh) knows that’s something you probably shouldn’t do.  And how about the gear they brought out to fix the green?  Never seen them have to do that either.  Let me re-phrase what I said above, I’ve never seen this happen at a professional event.  If you’ve played enough drunken golf with your buddies then you’ve seen just about everything there is to see on a golf course and broken every single rule.  Including this.  Don’t take this blog as me being a rules nazi either.  When I play golf I give a shit about two things: Getting drunk and hitting at least a couple good shots.  Everything else be damned.  Just weird to see it happen at a pro event.


PS- Love the start of the video.  The announcer pretty much politely saying “Well what the fuck is this guy doing?”  Then the PGA official was borderline speechless from what he just witnessed.  All around entertaining.  Except for Noh who got a two stroke penalty.




h/t davis

By trent posted August 22nd, 2014 at 3:00 PM
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