Bill Clinton Has A Secret Mistress With The Secret Service Code Name “Energizer”

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NY Post - Bill Clinton reportedly has a buxom blond mistress who visits so often when Hillary Clinton isn’t home in Chappaqua that the former president’s Secret Service detail have given her an unofficial code name: Energizer. This is according to Ronald Kessler in “The First Family Detail: Secret Service Agents Reveal the Hidden Lives of Presidents,” due Aug. 5 from Crown Forum. Kessler is no stranger to the controversies surrounding the Secret Service. He broke the story that Secret Service agents protecting President Obama in Cartagena, Colombia, hired prostitutes, and put the president in jeopardy. The book, portions of which I’ve obtained, says none of the normal protocols are followed when Energizer arrives in her SUV, sometimes just minutes after Hillary has left the Westchester house. Kessler quotes a supervisor informing a new agent: “You don’t stop her, you don’t approach her, you just let her go in.”  Energizer, who is described as charming and friendly, sometimes brought cookies to the agents, according to the book excerpts. One told Kessler: “It was a warm day, and she was wearing a low-cut tank top, and as she leaned over, her breasts were very exposed. They appeared to be very perky and very new and full…There was no doubt in my mind they were enhanced.” Kessler also reports that Hillary’s Secret Service detail informs Bill’s Secret Service detail when the former First Lady is coming home, so Bill has time to get Energizer off the property and clean up any evidence. But once, the warning came late. “The agents had to scramble to get Energizer out of there so there wasn’t some kind of big confrontation.” Kessler also reveals that Hillary is routinely rude to the agents who are sworn to take a bullet for her. “Because she is so nasty to agents and hostile to law enforcement officers and military officers in general, agents consider being assigned to her detail a form of punishment,” Kessler wrote. And they don’t get any cookies.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, gets in between Bill Clinton and his pussy. Not the Secret Service. Not Presidential Protocol. Not National Security measures. Nothing. Bill Clinton’s jump off has the highest clearance in all the land. Energizer rolls in with big tits and fresh cookies and thats all there is to it. You really think Slick Willie is gonna wanna waste all that time getting her cleared to visit the ex-President in an official capacity? Fuck no. Thats just less time his dick his in her mouth and his cigar is in her pussy.

And is there really any surprise that Bill’s main side piece is named Energizer? Bill certainly doesn’t strike me as a one and done sorta guy. You know he’s working in at least 2 or 3 rounds every time there’s a POTUS/Energizer rendezvous. The nickname says more about Bill than it does about her. It takes 2 to tango so if she’s the Energizer Bunny that means he’s right there giving her that 9 volt jolt.

PS – What wound Hillary’s code name be? Cobwebs? “Cobwebs is approaching the house, initiate exit protocol with Energizer!”

By KFC posted July 21st, 2014 at 7:40 PM

David Wright: 10 Years A Slave

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Metsblog – Ten years ago today, David Wright made his major league debut. He went 0 for 4, but his team eked out a 5-4 victory after blowing an early 3-0 lead. His first big-league hit, a double, came the next day >> Watch here. He has since become the organization’s all-time leader in a number of offensive categories, including hits, doubles and RBI. “Coming into the clubhouse and seeing your jersey hanging for the first time, it was pretty surreal,” Wright said of his debut (New York Post, July 15). “I probably tried my jersey on and stood in front of the mirror for quite some time that day soaking it all in.” In 2004, when Wright first stepped on the field at Shea Stadium, the baseball world was pretty different. The Red Sox were still “cursed,” as were the Chicago White Sox. Barry Bonds was the offensive ruler of the National League, if not all of baseball. Roger Clemens won the National League Cy Young Award. And the Florida – not Miami – Marlins were the reigning World Series champs. The Montreal Expos still existed. They drew only 749,550 fans to their home ballpark that year and in the subsequent offseason moved to Washington, D.C. But those Expos were the Mets’ opposition that Wednesday at Shea Stadium. There were a few players on the visiting club that day who would eventually end up teammates with Wright at one point or another: the catcher, Brian Schneider, and the final Montreal reliever of the afternoon, Luis Ayala. The visiting centerfielder, too, worked his way into Mets lore, two years after Wright’s debut. It was Endy Chavez, who hit a home run on that July afternoon. He hit it to right-center, not yet interacting with that left field wall he’d make so famous in 2006. The leadoff man for the Mets that afternoon was a young Jose Reyes, playing second base because Kaz Matsui was the shortstop in Flushing then. Reyes entered the day with a .241 batting average and seven stolen bases. His 2004 season, which he’d finish with a .255 average and 19 steals, was a far cry from the player he’d mature into later on, side-by-side with Wright on the left side of the infield. The team took a 5-4 lead into the ninth. The closer was Braden Looper. Remember him? The first time he took the field in Flushing, Wright was 21 years old. The oldest player in baseball that year was 45-year-old Julio Franco, who would retain his post as the sport’s eldest for the next 3 years, the final two in a Met uniform. The youngest, though he’d debut a few weeks after Wright, was Wright’s former AAU teammate B.J Upton, at age 19.

David Allen Wright. Dude has been around for a decade now. A decade of some decent highs, and some incredibly low lows. Through it all DW has been the consummate professional and a stud at the hot corner, and he’ll go down as one of the greatest Mets of all time.

You can’t help but think that on a day like this though, David Wright looks back and thinks to himself “What the fuck happened?” I mean I’m not gonna sit here and tell you its been a bad 10 year stretch for the dude. He’s amassed over $85,000,000 and he has over $100,000,000 more coming to him until the year 2021. In every major category, he’s been the best 3rd baseman in the National League over the past 10 years. This is the woman he married:

His life is fucking incredible by all normal standards. But guys like him – stars of his caliber – you know their life financially and socially are gonna be amazing. Guys like him want that professional glory. They want the rings, the awards, the respect. And when DW looks back at his ten years on the Mets he’s gotta be thinking “What the hell am I doing here?”

Don’t get me wrong, as a fan I’m forever indebted to David Wright staying loyal to this team and choosing to (most likely) play his entire career here. They don’t make guys as loyal as he is anymore. But he’s been loyal to a fault. He’s gotta look back and think about the time he was hitting in a lineup with Reyes Beltran and Delgado and look at where he’s at now and what the team around him is and want to pule. He’s gotta look back to those 30 home run seasons right before the franchise decided to building a cavernous ballpark that undoubtedly affected his play and want to murder somebody. Now its just him and Murph, floundering around on this Quadruple A team in that dumb ass stadium. He stuck by a team with an owner that said he wasn’t a superstar. He stuck around in a city with the fans and the media are constantly on your case. All under this promise from the Wilpons and the front office that they would build a winner around him which has never happened since their brief blip of contending in the mid 2000s. Constantly waiting for “next year.”

I honestly think 2007 changed the entire trajectory of the Mets this past decade and David Wright’s career. If the Mets were able to win just one extra game in September and hold on to that lead, the collapse never happens, the Mets make the playoffs and David Wright wins the MVP. You could make the argument he should have won it anyway – .325 34 Hrs 30 SBs 42 2Bs. Rollins should have never won that year. And while David Wright still did all he could down the stretch of that season, I think that collapse cost him the award. The Mets would have been back in the playoffs, back to back NL East champs, with an MVP leading the way. Who knows what would have happened in the playoffs. It was the Rockies, Cubs, D’Backs and Phillies. Not exactly a power house lineup in the postseason. That year changed everything. Instead of “phew, that was a close one” and the team being a consistent contender with a budding star grabbing the league’s most prestigious award, it all went to shit. The Madoff Scandal would have eventually fucked the franchise in some way or another, but while that window was still open and into the Johan years I think everything would have been much, much brighter for DW and the Mets.

The future is bright once again. Hopefully some of these arms pan out and the front office brings in some real, legitimate bats to work around him. I’m not saying DW’s window is closed and its all doom and gloom. I’m just saying I think that window could have been wide open a lot longer if not for 2 incredibly bad weeks in September where his team let him down.

By KFC posted July 21st, 2014 at 6:00 PM

Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Kayla

 

Introducing Kayla from Molloy.  Best friends with last weeks smokeshow Stephanie for maybe the hottest smoke friends on the site this year.  Just a powerhouse of hotness.

 

Know any smokeshows? Email a name and Facebook link to beardobarstool@gmail.com to nominate

By beardo posted July 21st, 2014 at 5:32 PM

Colby Lewis Pissed Off That Colby Rasmus Broke The Unwritten Rules Of Baseball And Bunted In The 5th Inning Of A 2 Run Game

ESPN - In the eyes of Colby LewisBlue Jays outfielder Colby Rasmus sure could use a lesson in baseball etiquette.  The Rangers starting pitcher exchanged words with Rasmus during the fifth inning of Texas’ 4-1 loss Saturday. Lewis was irked when Rasmus laid down a two-out bunt single with the Blue Jays up 2-0 and the Rangers playing the shift. ”I told [Rasmus] I didn’t appreciate it,” Lewis said, according to MLB.com. “You’re up by two runs with two outs and you lay down a bunt. I don’t think that’s the way the game should be played.” Lewis, who fell to 6-7 with the loss, felt Rasmus’ bunt was a selfish act. ”I felt like you have a situation where there is two outs, you’re up two runs, you have gotten a hit earlier in the game off me, we are playing the shift, and he laid down a bunt basically simply for average,” Lewis said. On top of the bunt, Lewis said the fact that Rasmus didn’t try to steal second base further proved he was just concerned about upping his average. ”[Rasmus] didn’t steal within the first two pitches to put himself in scoring position,” Lewis said. “That tells me he is solely looking out for himself, and looking out for batting average. And I didn’t appreciate it.“ After the game, Rasmus said he was trying to help his team and did not understand why Lewis took offense. ”I’m just trying to help my team and he didn’t like it — so sorry about it,” Rasmus said, according to MLB.com. “I’m not here to try to please the other side, I’m here to help my team, and I had an opportunity where I could, and I took advantage of it.” Rasmus went 2-for-4 on the day. He is hitting .223 this season.

Hey Colby Lewis why don’t you cry about it a little more you fatso? This might be the biggest crybaby whine-fest I’ve ever seen when it comes to all the “Unwritten Rules” of baseball. We’re not talking about pimping a home run. We’re not talking about showing up the pitcher. Not even bunting to break up a no hitter. We’re just talking about taking what the defense was giving you in a fucking TWO-NOTHING game in the FIFTH! 2 run lead with 4 goddam innings to go and Colby Rasmus, batting a cool .224, just taking a base hit because this league has gotten so absurd with the shift we’re now putting it on for nobodies like him. In any other sport that would be considered selfless. Doing the little things to help your team. Letting the game come to you. No hero ball swinging for the fences sorta shit. Getting on base is the name of the game and Colby Rasmus can swallow his pride and do what it takes to get the job done.

But not in baseball and not with guys like Colby Rasmus. Thats against “etiquette.” Hey bro why are you trying to get on base against me! What are you doing out there! Trying to raise your batting average! I’m trying to stop you from getting on base and you’re just gonna come up to the plate and do whatever you can to GET ON BASE!? Learn to play the game the right way! Hopefully Brian McCann and Cardinals fans every where teach Colby Rasmus a lesson.

Maybe don’t be fat and field your position better, dude. Thats an unwritten rule too.

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By KFC posted July 21st, 2014 at 4:50 PM

NYC Approves Poor People Entrance For Luxury Apartment Building

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GawkerIt would be difficult to come with a more on-the-nose metaphor for New York City’s income inequality problem than the new high-rise apartment building coming to 40 Riverside Boulevard, which will feature separate doors for regular, wealthy humans and whatever you call the scum that rents affordable housing. Extell Development Company, the firm behind the new building, announced its intentions to segregate the rich and poor to much outrage last year. Fifty-five of the luxury complex’s 219 units would be marked for low-income renters—netting some valuable tax breaks for Extell—with the caveat that the less fortunate tenants would stick to their own entrance.  The city’s Department of Housing Preservation and Development approved Extell’s Inclusionary Housing Program application for the 33-story tower this week, the New York Post reports. The status grants Extell the aforementioned tax breaks and the right to construct a larger building than would ordinarily be allowed. According to the Daily Mail, affordable housing tenants will enter through a door situated on a “back alley.” Any of the unwashed folk who complain about such a convenient arrangement, of course, are just being ungrateful. As the Mail points out, fellow poor-door developer David Von Spreckelsenexplained as much last year:

“No one ever said that the goal was full integration of these populations,” said David Von Spreckelsen, senior vice president at Toll Brothers. “So now you have politicians talking about that, saying how horrible those back doors are. I think it’s unfair to expect very high-income homeowners who paid a fortune to live in their building to have to be in the same boat as low-income renters, who are very fortunate to live in a new building in a great neighborhood.”

You know when there’s a trade that works out for both teams? That rare occurrence where there really isn’t a clear winner or loser in a deal and both teams got better in equal, but opposite fashions? Like the Dodgers and Red Sox blockbuster a couple years back. One man’s trash was another man’s treasure – the Sox got to press the reset button and have since won a World Series. The Dodgers instantly shot to the top of the NL West and have been a force in the National League ever since.

Well thats whats going on here with the Poors and this luxury building. When this was first talked about last year I said the Poors don’t give a shit what door they have to go in, as long as they get to live in that building. They get a luxury apartment for like 1/5th the cost probably. In return the landlords get all sorts of tax breaks for letting disgusting bums live amongst their real tenants. Nobody said the rich people and the poor people have to play together. Nobody said they had to invite each other over for dinner. Cheap apartments, and tax breaks. Thats all this deal is about. And as long as both sides are getting that, I don’t think anybody cares about anything in between. Poor people go in the back door and live like kings in their apartment they could never afford. Building owners save a ton of money. And the rich tenants never have to see or smell the Untouchables. Thats a Win Win Win situation. I’m thinking about getting poor enough just so I can live in this building and use the back door.

 

By KFC posted July 21st, 2014 at 4:00 PM

DraftKings $100,000 Mid Summer Classic – Here’s How Not To Win The $20,000 First Prize

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CLICK HERE TO JOIN

 

Just like the real New York Mets, I’m just not even willing to open up my wallet and spend the remaining $13,400 on my lineup. Just gonna sit here and be content with a below average finish in this tournament. I could add another big free agent, but that would cost money. I could start someone in the outfield about 35 years younger than Bobby Abreu. But Bobby only costs $2,800! With this lineup you can guarantee deGrom gives you some solid numbers, but of no points for the win, of course. And you can go ahead and pencil in three, maybe, four hits.

CLICK HERE TO JOIN AND BUILD THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF THIS TEAM

By KFC posted July 21st, 2014 at 3:20 PM

WWF Catching Heat For Alluding To Malaysian Flight MH17 At Their PPV

NY Post – A pro wrestling schtick invoked the tragedy of Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, in a lead-balloon bit that even stunned WWE fans, who are used to these outrageous acts. World Wrestling Entertainment grappler Alexander Rusev and his manager Lana, who play comically anti-American Russians, were predictably booed as they stepped into the ring Sunday night in Tampa. Then moments before WWE’s “Battleground” bout between Rusev and Jack Swagger, Lana — played by Florida-based actress Catherine Joe Perry — took the mic and told fans in her faux, over-the-top Russian accent: “You blame Russia for these recent current events?”  “Tonight we dedicate this match to the most powerful man in the world. Tonight we dedicate this match to the man that makes fools out of all of you Americans,” Lana said. “He is my role model. He is my idol, the president of Russia.” UK sports journalist Simon Clark, via his Twitter handle @SimonClark8, summed up world disgust for the act: “Can’t believe WWE used Flight MH17 – ‘current events’ – as cheap heat in the Rusev v Swagger match. That’s not cool. #WWEBatleground.” The wrestler, “Rusev,” is played by Bulgarian bodybuilder Miroslav Barnyashev.

Listen is there a double standard here? Of course there is. If there was a similar tragedy in America with 300 of our citizens perishing, there’s no way the WWF works that into a story line and uses it as part of their shtick. So while I acknowledge thats its not the classiest, most tasteful move, I think we can relax with any sort of outrage. Its not like people turn to the WWF as some sort of bastion of global relations. Its not like anyone is tuning into the Battleground PPV to see Vince McMahon and company mending the bridges of the Russian and American tumultuous relationship. This is a company who’s always exploited these type of story lines for shock value and entertainment. Right in the middle of the Gulf War they had the Iron Sheik waving the Iranian flag right in our faces. They had Sgt. Slaughter turn heel right as soldiers were overseas in actual combat. Nikolai Volkoff singing the Soviet Union anthem in the middle of the Cold War. I’m pretty sure they had a guy be an Arab heel after 9/11. For fucks sake, they once had Mae Young give birth to a hand on TV. Thats not related to foreign policy, but this is just what they do. They have never been afraid to push the envelope and its always made for good story lines that their fan base eats up.

Anyone who watches wrestling understands the nature of these story lines and anyone who doesn’t watch wrestling really shouldn’t give a shit about “Lana and Rusev” and what they said in their pre-match promo.

PS – Thought that chick was Khloe Kardashian for a second

PPS – First person to correct me and tell me its the WWE can go fuck themselves. It will always be the WWF.

By KFC posted July 21st, 2014 at 2:20 PM

Canada School Getting Rid Of “He” And “She” For Gender Neutral “Xe, Xym and Xyr”

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BBC – Some schools in Vancouver are reported to be doing away with the old-fashioned pronouns “he” and “she” for their transgender pupils in favour of a new gender-neutral word, “xe”. The school board in the Canadian city has approved a new policy which allows pupils to be referred to as “xe, xem and xyr” instead of “he or she”, “him or her”, and “his or hers”. “We’re standing up for kids and making our schools safer and more inclusive,” board member Mike Lombardi told the Vancouver Sun. Another change will allow children to choose to use any toilet facilities they prefer, including a mandatory unisex option. Suggesting a possible alternative to xe (pronounced “zee”), National Post’s Kelly McParland wrote: “The British long ago began using the term ‘one’ – as in ‘one does wish for a glass of water’ to get around this problem, but it’s viewed as a bit cold and snooty, and therefore undesirable.”

Well this shouldn’t be confusing at all. Can you imagine to talk like this to anybody else in the world outside of this dumbass school? Try saying xe, xem and xyr to your grandpa who’s 70 years old. See if he has any idea what the fuck you’re talking about. I wouldn’t even know what the fuck I was talking about. How the hell do you pronounce “xyr?” X-Y-R. Zzhyure? Get out of my face with that shit. Xe Xem Xyr –  I feel like I’m putting a code into a goddam video game.

Its just another step towards the world turning into a bunch of dickless pussy-less gender neutral idiots. We’re making up our own stupid language, oh, and you can piss and shit in whichever bathroom you want. You know all the rules of established language and behavior? We’re just getting rid of all that so that every 1 out of 2 zillion kids who isn’t just a normal boy or girl can be a Xe. Take a fucking hike.

I guess its better to just be like that weirdo from the last blog with a he-she for a dad and a husband. “I just accept everything these days.” Go ahead, Canada. Be a bunch of genderless mannequins using unpronounceable words complicating literally the most basic things in life. What the fuck do I care.

PS – If you’re a smart horny little bastard in elementary school you absolutely gotta say you prefer using the women’s bathroom. Sure, some of the kids on the playground are gonna make fun of you but in the long run its worth it. Doing some major reconnaissance behind enemy lines.

By KFC posted July 21st, 2014 at 1:40 PM
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