See Everyone At Saloon Tonight!

Just some inspiration for any of the girls out there looking to win $1,000 cash tonight for the sexiest costume. These are some get-ups that would probably win you that cash.

We’ll be tweeting out the candidates for sexiest costume from @saloonnyc so follow along to see what we’re working with tonight. Everyone will be snapping pics and all over social media tonight so retweet your favorite sexy costumes from the party to help determine a winner.

And email management@saloonnnyc.com to get on the list for the open bar. Party starts at 9 but there are open bar packages starting at 10 and 11 if you want to come later. See everyone tonight! 84th and York

 

By KFC posted October 31st, 2014 at 5:10 PM

Father Turns His Son’s Wheelchair Into A Tank For Halloween

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When life gives you lemons, you make an awesome Halloween costume. This year its a tank, and previous years he was a fire engine and a pirate ship.

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Little dude riding dirty all around the neighborhood trick or treating like the biggest boss on the block. And its not just this little guy. The internet is full of wheelchair costumes that are all pretty awesome. You just hope costumes like this make sure these kids get to enjoy Halloween as much as the rest of us did. Here were the best costumes the internet had to offer. The Superman one is tremendous.

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By KFC posted October 31st, 2014 at 4:50 PM

Jets Fans Start FireJohnIdzik.com

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FireJohnIdzik.com

Pretty funny website created by some Jets fans frustrated with Idzik’s performance. If you check out the site there’s a big carousel banner rotating all of his moves and embarrassing moments and there’s no denying its been a rough start to the Idzik era. When it just cuts to TJ Graham laying in the end zone its laugh out loud funny.

Here’s the reality of the matter though – the Jets dug themselves into such a deep hole with Sanchez, Tebow, the complete lack of offensive weapons and zero defensive backfield, that there was no possibility of a quick turnaround. Even in the NFL, a league where you can go from pretender to contender pretty damn quick, there still wasnt a GM alive that could have done a one or 2 year turnaround with this franchise. Now add in the fact that Idzik hasnt even really been able to implement his regime because he had to retain Rex, and you realize this guy’s tenure hasnt even really begun.

Now, dont take that to mean I’m an Idzik apologist and I believe in this guy. There’s no denying he’s been less than inspiring as GM. His draft this offseason ended up pretty awful. He let a lot of free agents go with plenty of money to spend. I dont think theres anybody out there who’s been thrilled with his performance thus far. But there does need to be some patience exhibited with the franchise in general. He didnt just spend money for the sake of spending it. He made some picks that, on draft day, seemed real solid that just havent panned out. And, of course, he can’t just make a QB appear out of thin air. No matter who your GM is, if there’s no QB to be had, you aint goin anywhere as a team.

Do I wish John Idzik came across a little more competent and confident? Yes, I do. I wouldnt be surprised if a couple years from now, when Idzik’s really got his system running, if we’re still in the same boat. But right now, at this moment, I still think its unfair to judge him. Still too early for a fucking Fire John Idzik billboard in the parking lot. As funny as that would be, its just not reasonable to judge him this quickly.

By KFC posted October 31st, 2014 at 4:10 PM

Power Ranking The NFL Quarterbacks As Old School Nintendo Characters Part 2: NFC

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With Brady vs. Manning Part 500 coming up on Sunday, I figured now was a great time to publish my NFL QB rankings.  I ranked each quarterback based on this season and I then compared each of them to an old-school Nintendo character.  If the millions of Brady and Manning highlights you see this week don’t make you nostalgic, reminiscing about some NES characters will.  I published Part 1 of this list dealing with the AFC yesterday.  Here are my power rankings for the NFC quarterbacks.

1. Aaron Rodgers = Mega Man.  Can kill you in so many different ways.  May not be seen as the best ever, but puts up incredible performances every single time.  Also, the lack of female counterparts for most of their careers has lead to some interesting rumors.

rodgers

2. Drew Brees = Little Mac.  A tough, little fighter that somehow always finds a way to beat bigger and more talented guys.  Brees and Little Mac scrap and hustle their way to wins despite a weird array of weapons.  Plus the Little Mac jump punch kinda reminds me of the way Drew pokes his head up to see above the offensive line.  Sean Payton is clearly Doc in this comparison, too.

drewbrees

 

doc

3. Eli Manning = Luigi.  The brother of Mario/Peyton (duh), both Luigi and Eli have had their moments in the sun.  Eli obviously won two Super Bowls (as well as Super Bowl MVPs), while Luigi was able to jump out of the goddamn building in Mario 2.  Mario 2 was weeeeeird, man.  And yes I am a Giants fan that loves his big, dumb quarterback.  But Eli’s Total QBR this season makes this homer pick defensible.

eli

4. Tony Romo = Don Flamenco.  Remember when Tony Romo went to Mexico on his playoff bye week with Jessica Simpson?  That’s right out of Don Flamenco’s playbook.  A caring guy who can never come through in the big fights/games.  I guarantee Romo pulls the old Flamenco “rose in the mouth” trick on all his new girlfriends.  Then again, he once had Stems Underwood wrapped around his finger, so who am I to throw shade on him?

romo

5. Russell Wilson = Paperboy.  Paperboy and Wilson can throw well on the move and are loved by everyone in the neighborhood for just appearing to be a good guy.  But the hype train is bigger than the actual players.  We will look back and laugh about how people used to say Wilson was better than Luck (just like some people probably once said Paperboy was better than Contra).

wilson

6. Colin Kaepernick = Kirby.  Both have the ability to do anything their opponents can do, but sometimes they just seem worthless.  It is so weird how they can go from a 5 to a 10 and then back to a 5 in the blink of an eye.  In terms of peak abilities, Kirby and Kappy are at the top of the list.

kappy

7. Matt Ryan = Ninja Gaiden.  A pretty blah character in a very fun game.  Seriously, nothing about Matt Ryan is exciting.  But he is able to make some big plays on the field.  How much of that is Julio Jones, Roddy White, and (once upon a time) Tony Gonzalez?  Probably a shitload.  Plus the thought of comparing White Bread Matt Ryan to a Japanese ninja was just too much fun to pass up.

mattryan

8. Cam Newton = Solid Snake.  These guys are out there trying to survive and win the game with very little help.  And for all the crap Cam got when he came into the league, no one can deny he is one tough dude like Solid Snake.  That was weak, but the Panthers bore me (and 95% of America).

cam

9. Matthew Stafford = Michaelangelo.  A party lover that is also the product of all the talent around him.  Also, April O’Neil = Future Mrs. Stafford.  Because April has to be a serious party girl if she hangs out with a bunch of giant mutant turtles in NYC.  P.S. Fuuuuuuuck that Hudson River Level from the first Ninja Turtles game.  That board was a life ruiner.

stafford

 

 

10. Nick Foles = Z-Shaped Tetris Block.  If you have a good setup, the Z-Shaped Block can work and sometimes even come in handy.  However, sooner or later that big Z is going to destroy everything you hold near and dear to your hearts.  Eagles fans are sadly nodding their heads right now.

foles

11. Jay Cutler = Billy Lee (Double Dragon).  Everything about Cutler screams Billy Lee.  The strong arm, the pissy attitude, and the smokeshow chick that loves him.  Brandon Marshall is clearly the Jimmy to Cutler’s Billy, despite the recent bickering.  But that’s just what the Lee brothers do.  Fight and bitch.

cutler

12. Carson Palmer = Excitebike Racer.  Just an old veteran chugging along and still trying to bring some entertainment.  Are either of these guys as good as they were when they first came out?  Of course not.  But you can still have a little bit of fun watching them play.

palmer

13. Teddy Bridgewater = Toad’s House (Mario 3).  It is still too early to know what Teddy is going to bring to the NFL.  But whenever the Vikings are on TV, I get excited like I did when I would go in to Toad’s House in Mario 3.  Maybe you get a mushroom performance out of Teddy, but maybe you get a raccoon leaf.  You never really know. But there is a chance that one day Teddy gives a Tanooki suit performance and blows everyone away.

teddy

14. Austin Davis = The Tornado From Paperboy.  I really don’t know much about Austin Davis, but I do know that he beat that Paperboy bastard known as Russell Wilson recently.  By the way, the Tornado is such a diabolical villain in that game.  Fuck the tornado.

austin

15. Colt McCoy/Kirk Cousins/Injured Robert Griffin III = Hammer Brothers. The Hammer Brothers in Mario 1 were an absolute pain in the dick.  But by Mario 3 they were a cakewalk.  That is a fair comparison for the 3 Redskins QBs going from college to the NFL (even though RG3 was admittedly a beast before getting hurt).

redskins

16. Mike Glennon = Ostro from Mario 2.  A long necked, utterly forgettable part of a terrible franchise (yeah, I hate the living shit out of Mario 2. #barstoolconfessions.).

glennon

Who did I get wrong on this list?  Who would you have picked?  Tweet #NESQB with your responses.

By theclemreport posted October 31st, 2014 at 3:30 PM

Mongo Pranks Francesa, Says He Looks Fat In His Halloween Costume

“theahs a nice Halloween cawl from some 12 yeah old”

The Halloween Mongos are out for Francesa. Basically playing trick or treat with callers where instead of egging his house the prank him and call him fat. Pranking Francesa correctly really is an art form. The key is fooling Mike into thinking its a real call. Start out with some actual sports talk the way this guy did. Mike lets his guard down and gets lulled into a false sense of security thinking he’s just gonna have a polite conversation and then BOOM – you look fat in your costume. BOOM I’m gonna slap your butt cheeks. BOOM – lets trade for Jason Giambi. You cant just come in guns blazing. You gotta slow play it. Its all about Francesa’s reaction, too. The “must be a kid home from school today” or “go help an old lady cross the street” are all just such perfect responses.

PS – Nothing worse than when the next caller basically like apologizes on behalf of the previous caller and acts all holier than thou with Mike. Get off your high horse, guy. You’re just as big of a fucking idiot waiting on hold for like 2 hours to talk to another dude for 30 seconds.

By KFC posted October 31st, 2014 at 2:40 PM

KFC Radio: Scale Don’t Lie

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Halloween edition of KFC Radio where we complete forgot to talk about Halloween. We shoot the shit about the best fat athletes of all time, blog “fame,” eating unlimited food, licking butts, silent sex, and more. Jam packed edition to help you get through this afternoon at work and cope with your boss who’s dressed up in costume like a dickhead.

By KFC posted October 31st, 2014 at 1:50 PM

Season 3 GTA Tournament Of Champions Final Four: #8 Alex Morgan vs. #5 @Sky3mfc

8 Seed Alex Morgan


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VS.

5 seed @Sky3mfc:

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I have no idea what Alex Morgan is doing in the Final Four. To be honest I just threw her in there as an 8 seed since she was one of the 1-time champs. But the people voted her in and now she’s in over her head and playing with the big dogs. If there’s any justice she should get massacred here but who knows, maybe Stoolies really have a thing for the athlete butt.

Lets vote to see who will face the winner of the 2 vs 3 on the other side of the bracket:

Vote 1 for 8 seed Alex Morgan Vote 10 for 5 Seed @Sky3mfc

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (1,749 votes, average: 5.10 out of 10)
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By KFC posted October 31st, 2014 at 1:00 PM

Season 3 GTA Tournament Of Champions Final Four: #2 Diana Dahlgren vs. #3 Bruna Lima

2 seed: Dianna Dahlgren

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GTA

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VS.

#3 Bruna Lima:

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Bruna Lima might have the most well known ass in this tourney, but I think this is Diana Dahlgren’s contest to lose. I have a feeling that the winner of this matchup goes on to win the title regardless who comes out of the other side, but @Sky3mfc is no joke as the 5 seed.

Time to vote:

Vote 1 for 2 seed Diana Dahlgren vote 10 for 3 seed Bruna Lima

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (898 votes, average: 4.41 out of 10)
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By KFC posted October 31st, 2014 at 1:00 PM
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