50 Year Old Dude Posting “Looking For A Girlfriend” Posters All Over NYC

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NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — You can try the bar or maybe online but anyway you do it, finding the right person can be difficult. So one New Yorker is trying something different, using an unconventional method of looking for love, CBS 2’s Tracee Carrasco reported Friday. Dan Perino is on a mission. He’s looking for a girlfriend in a non-traditional way, plastering posters all over Manhattan. “I’m not desperate. This is a better way to meet women. I want to find a more meaningful relationship,” Perino said. Sick of the singles scene, the 50-year-old is taking his search seriously. He started putting the fliers up and in just hours he said he received more than 100 calls — some genuinely interested, others thinking it’s a joke. He said he already has one date set up. “I’m looking for an average woman that likes to do the same things that I do,” Perino said. Perino plans to put up 500 fliers every day for the next 30 days, but some said they are a little skeptical about his approach. “I’m not looking for nobody. It’ll come. True love will find you,” said Yusef Elliot of the Lower East Side. “I think it’s kind of weird, and a little scary. I wouldn’t date him,” one woman added. But Perino said he remains confident. He said he’ll soon be off the market. “Within a week, I’ll have a girlfriend,” he said.

Cant knock the hustle! Tell me my friends – how is this any different than having a Tinder profile or an online dating account? How is this any different than showing up to a bar solo clearly on the prowl looking for women? Its not. Its just a more old school, direct approach. The name of the game for dudes is just casting out as many lines as you can. Its a numbers game and the more chicks you reach, the better chance you find of one willing to fuck you consistently. So Dan Perino here is just casting a huge net. Not only is he out there trying to land chicks, but every single pole on every street corner is doing work for him too. When Dan is home asleep, those poles are out there trying to land chicks. When Dan Perino is at work, those poles are enticing women to call him. When Dan Perino is in his dungeon busy making a skin suit, there are some women out there pulling his number off that flyer. Its just like billboard advertising for your dick.

And you gotta love the confidence. Guaranteeing success within a week. That type of swagger alone is enough to make the chicks wet. Fishing with dynamite right now, Danny Boy.

By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 3:20 PM

Asian Couple Lets Their Son Shit On His Seat On Airplane, China Is Pissed Of For Giving Them A Bad Name

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Daily MailPassengers kicked up a stink on a flight from Beijing to Detroit this week after a family allowed their toddler to defecate on his seat, according to reports. Travellers on board the Delta Airlines flight allegedly watched in horror as the young Chinese boy’s parents laid down newspaper on his chair and encouraged him to relieve himself there and then. Despite pleas from passengers and crew to take him to the cabin toilet, the boy’s grandfather and grandmother – who were also on the plane – insisted on letting the boy settle there, it was claimed. Passenger Luolan Gang Wang told Sina News that once the boy had finished his business, its smell began slowly to waft through the cabin sparking a wave of disgust among fellow travellers. Following the incident, Chinese social network Weibo came alive with commenters expressing their disgust, many of whom condemned the family for embarrassing their homeland. Delta Airlines did not immediately respond to MailOnline’s request for comment. It is not clear exactly when the alleged incident happened but it is believed to have occurred some time around the middle of last week. It comes months after a disturbingly similar incident in which a child was photographed passing motion on a domestic flight in China in February.

Well, its not quite getting shot down by separatists with ballistic missiles. And I guess you can be happy it didn’t get lost altogether. But a toddler taking a shit right in the middle of his seat on your flight has gotta be a very close third place in terms of stuff you do not want happening on your airplane. I mean its bad enough when there are children on your plane when they’re NOT shitting all over the place. Crying or yelling or kicking the back of your seat. Imagine if that same annoying kid just stood up on his chair and pinched a loaf right into a newspaper like a goddam puppy? Thats grounds to just throw that family right off the plane. Mid flight, open the door and just toss them out into the clouds. I swear, man. These Asians. Just have no clue what planet they are living on.

And I love China freaking out about this family giving them a bad name. Like oh yea China now your good reputation of social awareness is being sullied. Now people are gonna think you’re weirdos and don’t know how to behave in public. Granted letting your child shit on the seat of an airplane is taking it to the next level but it doesn’t surprise me one bit.

By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 2:30 PM

MailTime Deluxe: The Greatest Song Characters In The History Of Music

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Access today’s premium episode on the KFC Radio app -  iPhone | Android, or on your computer here 

If you’re not a premium member, Click here to sign up. Premium members get at least 1 extra podcast per month and access to the complete backlog archive of KFC Radio episodes.

I was at the bar a couple weeks ago and the crowd was young. Real young. Like fake ID young. And Jack and Diane came on and like 90% of the crowd had no idea what song it was. Nobody knew the words, nobody cared that it was on. And I realized, if you walk up to a college kid now and said the names “Jack and Diane” they’d probably have no idea that you were referring to two of the most well known names ever in music. So I decided to go through and break down some of the best song characters of all time. Jack and Diane, Brenda and Eddie, Stacy’s Mom, Jessie’s Girl. The list goes on and on. Had to keep the podcast at about 1 hour so not everyone made the cut. But if I missed some major ones, tweet them at me @KFCbarstool and we’ll do a Part II.

The premium subscription for KFC Radio is $12 for the year and you get 1 extra episode per month in addition to the weekly free ones. Previous deluxe episodes include:

Sluttiest Characters in TV History

MailTime Road Trip

1) MailBox Part II January, 2) MailBox Part II February, 3) MailBox Part II April

The KFC Dialect Quiz and an interview with @DonnieDoesChina

The Bachelor List: The 4 Pillars Of Relationship Life

Full Marv and Harry Home Alone Breakdown

Greatest Christmas Countdown Of All Time

If you’re new to the team, thats almost 9 hours of material for 12 bucks.

By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 1:40 PM

Guess That Ass

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By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 12:50 PM

Today Is National Orgasm Day

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Well happy holidays to you and your clits, ladies! Because make no mistake about it this is your day. This is your one day a year its all about you and your O Bombs. Because its National Orgasm Day for dudes 365 days a year. I don’t need to circle any date on the calendar to tell me to cum that day. Thats happening 100% of the time. It doesn’t matter if I’m sick. It doesn’t matter if there’s been a death in the family. Doesn’t matter how busy I am. Come hell or high water I will find to ejac. You know what they say – a nut a day keeps the doctor away.

Thats why chicks are always so stressed out and crying and stressing about friends and work and shit. Because its such a goddam production for you to cum. Most of the time dudes need the Rosetta Stone to crack the code on how to get the job done. More often then not you need all sorts of machinery and equipment. You can’t just blast off in like 60 seconds the way guys can. When dudes get backed up their vision gets cloudy and their decision making gets questionable. We can’t focus and we’re irritable. Thats chicks like 90% of the time. The number one difference between men and women and the number 1 thing responsible for the vast differences between the male and female life is that chicks are always chasing the elusive orgasm and dudes are swimming in them every single day. Like you know that book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? Should just be one sentence long “Men cum a lot and chicks dont.”

So enjoy today ladies. This is your special day. For us dudes its just another Thursday.

By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Chrissy Teigen Doesn’t Need Pants Or A Bra

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Not sure which look I like more here – the Risky Business men’s button down and nothing else at all? Or the white jeans look from Teigen/Swanepoel/Aldridge? Both of them are home runs. I think it depends on the girl. If we’re talking Teigen I think you want the unbuttoned shirt look to show off those bombs. Her side boob is bigger than most girl’s full boob. Swanepoel just destroys the white pants though. That heart shaped bottom is so fucking tight it makes me feel like I’m gonna pass out. Just 2 chicks playing to their strengths.

And then there’s Lily Aldridge who’s like the hottest piece of wallpaper ever. She’s always just kinda “there” and surrounds herself with chicks who are just way too hot.

Now cue the motherfucking donut facial from earlier!

This is like real porn for me.

By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 11:10 AM

Snoop Narrates Planet Earth

People always talk about Morgan Freeman’s voice. James Earl Jones’ voice. People always saying if you could have one person narrate your life, it would be those guys. Fuck that. Give me SN double O P DO double gizee. I’d argue that Snoop’s permanently blunted voice is better than any of those other Hollywood legends. Saying shit like nephew and chuch and tabernacle. I could listen to Snoop read the dictionary and I’d be entertained. I just wish he had announced the World Cup.

By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Dude Punches His Ex-Wife In The Face After She Took His Beer Away

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BRIDGEPORT, CT (WFSB)A Bridgeport man is being accused of assaulting his ex-wife because he said she threw away his beer. A press release said Melvin Gonzalez, 49, of 598 Park St., allegedly hit his ex-wife in the face after she took his beer away from him because she said he gets violent when he drinks. The victim said Gonzalez lives with her and that when he came home from work they got into an argument and he asked for his bottles of beer. Police said that the victim told Gonzalez that she drank them, when she really threw them away, and he allegedly hit her in the face and left the house. Gonzalez was arrested and charged with third-degree assault and disorderly conduct.

Well this is kind of a damned if you do, damned if you dont situation. When your husband drinks, he gets violent. And when you take away his beer, he punches you in the face. Real rock and a hard place when you’re dealing with Melvin Gonzalez. Its kinda like when you’re arguing with your girlfriend and no matter what you say, you get in more trouble. You’re trying to just apologize for whatever you did and agree with whatever she’s saying and all the sudden you’re in even deeper for yes’ing her to death. You’re just trying to avoid an altercation and next thing you know you’ve made it ten times worse. The only difference is that usually I just end up getting nagged and with Melvin you get knocked the fuck out.

Gotta be honest though – gonna put my Stephen A Smith hat on here for a moment – what is a chick doing taking her ex-husband’s beer? Isn’t that the whole reason you get a divorce? He gets to drink, she gets away from the drunk. Once those divorce papers are signed you can’t touch that dude’s beer. And judging by the results this time around, I’d say you shouldn’t want to touch his beer again.

By KFC posted July 31st, 2014 at 9:30 AM
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