Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Alicia

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Introducing Alicia from Jefferson.  Strong end to the smokeshow week.  See you all Saturday at Suite 36.

Nominate a smoke by emailing a name and Facebook link to beardobarstool@gmail.com

 

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By beardo posted September 18th, 2014 at 5:28 PM

Mexicans Are Pissed At Miley Cyrus For Desecrating Their Flag With Her Fake Ass And Trying To Send Her To Jail

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Daily MailMiley Cyrus is facing potential jail time for desecrating the Mexican flag, claims a new report. The 21-year-old performed a show in Monterey, Mexico, on Tuesday night where she engaged in her now standard twerking antics while wearing a comically large prosthetic bottom. Midway through her performance, Miley got down on her hands and knees as a male back up dancer whipped her rear with a Mexican flag. The incident took place during Mexican Independence Day and officials in the country are not taking kindly to the star’s disrespectful behaviour, according to TMZ. The state congress of Nuevo Leon are apparently wanting to prosecute, the crime of desecration carries serious consequences with a $1200 fine and up to 36 hours in jail time.  Meanwhile, Miley has continued to shock with her revealing costumes and rebellious antics on stage across the globe. The We Can’t Stop singer was also seen grinding against a man dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

You never really know what headlines you’re gonna get as a blogger. But this here is proof positive almost anything is possible on the internet. The story reads like a fucking Mad Libs. ___ are pissed at ____ for desecrating their flag with ___. Mexicans, Miley Cyrus, prosthetic ass.

I would pay top dollar to see Miley Cyrus thrown in jail for this shit. Like some sort of Locked Up Abroad story, Miley has to go to a Mexican prison because some backup dancer flossed in between her fake butt cheeks with their National Flag. I mean if you’re Miley and her dancers you gotta know this kinda shit is off limits. Any country would be upset but Mexicans do NOT fuck around with this stuff. You dont touch the mask of a luchador wrestler and you do not disrespect the Mexican flag. Doesn’t matter who you are.

PS – “The We Can’t Stop singer was also seen grinding against a man dressed as Abraham Lincoln.” made me laugh out loud.

PPS – Big Cat’s biggest regret of his entire blogging career has to be when he went through his Miley phase right?

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 5:00 PM

Super Aggressive Shirt Of The Week – New York City, Staten Island Ferry

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Hey KFC,
My friend sent me this pic while she was on the ferry. Most aggressive shirt of all time, or most aggressive shirt of all time?
Thanks,
Nick

Sometimes when you’re on public transportation you scan the train, or the subway, or the ferry and you look at some of those strangers and you think: “Whats that guy’s deal?” Where do they work? Where are they going? What are they going to do today?” Well the Bootleg Rick Ross on the ferry just letting everyone know his future intentions. He’ll be cumming soon in a mouth like yours. Let that one marinate for a little bit. You’re crossing the river heading into work worrying about ALT E S V and pivot tables and this guy is just figuring out which mouth he’ll be cumming in later.

Previously in the Super Aggressive T Shirts Of NYC:

Dick is too big, might kill someone on the 1 Train

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I Pee On Bitches on the A Train

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I FUCK LIKE A BEAST at Rockefeller Center

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By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 4:10 PM

How Fucking Weird Is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Instagram Post Wishing His Son A Happy Birthday?

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Well this is just about the weirdest goddam thing I’ve ever seen. Happy birthday to my son, here’s a picture of us peeing in one of those trough urinals. Somehow, I expect nothing less from Arnold. Most dad’s post a picture of them just hanging out together but not Arnold. Not manly enough. He searched through all his pictures like “I need a macho picture for my son’s birthday. Ah, here’s one of us pissing together. Perfect.”

Shout out to Daniel for the pic

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 3:52 PM

Draftkings Is Doing Another “Sunday Million” Challenge for Week 3

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CLICK HERE TO JOIN SUNDAY MILLION

Here’s a big surprise: Week 2′s Sunday Million Challenge was such a big hit, Draftkings is running it back for Week 3. Who would have thought that giving away a million dollars worth of fantasy football money was going to be a popular idea! Color me shocked!

There’s a reason why these Draftkings challenges are so successful. Because people love football and they love money. Pretty simple folks. Its not rocket science. So if you’re like money and you enjoy watching football and you havent dont a Draftkings tournament yet, what are you waiting for? Here are the details:

Contest Details, Week 3:
-Back by popular demand: The NFL Week 3 Sunday Million
-Another shot at $1,000,000 in Guaranteed prizes
-$100,000 to first place, top 8,500 scores paid out
-$27 entry fee, 42,000 total entries

CLICK HERE TO JOIN SUNDAY MILLION

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 3:10 PM

Nesquik Creates Girl Scout Cookie Flavored Milk

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Thrillist – Now you can have your cookies and drink them, too, on account of Nesquik’s glorious partnership with Girl Scouts of the USA: behold, Nesquik Girl Scouts Thin Mints-flavored milk and Caramel Coconut-flavored milk. Yeah, your favorite ephemeral cookies are being bottled up with chocolate milk to create what’s basically the one-stop shopping of dairy treats. But do they actually taste like the real deal? To find out, we tasted them. And then got our hands on some Girl Scout Cookies and some milk, mixed them together, and tasted that. It was a rough day.

Thin Mints

This milk, which — like its brother — is low-fat chocolate milk-based, tastes very much like a mint chocolate chip milkshake (with no ice cream) instead of a cookie, in that the mint taste is pretty dominant. It definitely lacks the interesting bittersweetness that characterizes a Thin Mint, but it’s got the same cooling mint flavor with an undertone of chocolate syrup. Overall, a bit gummy and artificial-tasting, but it’s still a relatively satisfying drink.

Caramel Coconut Milk

Aside from the fact that this flavored milk doesn’t carry either of the widely used names of Girl Scouts’ #2 most popular cookie (Samoas or Caramel deLites), it actually does taste pretty strongly of caramel — but the coconut flavor isn’t as present. In fact, the flavor it resembles the most is butterscotch, which is a bit of a far cry from the cookie’s humble origins as a purely coconut, caramel, and chocolate number. So the echoes of the Samoa are there, but mostly this just reads as a melted butterscotch milkshake with chocolate on top.

God Bless America. Land of the Free, Home of the Brave and also home of over priced cookies combining with artificial milk drink to create a cookie-milk for the obese people who have grown so fucking fat, they can’t even chew their desserts anymore. Just straight up liquify your treats so you can suck them right down your gullet and not even need to use your jaw or teeth. Maybe the next step is to just mainline this shit directly into your veins. Dont wanna burn any calories digesting either. Direct IV of liquid Samoas right into your bloodstream.

Ah who am I kidding I can’t get on my high horse about this shit. Anything the furthers the agenda of cookies and milk gets my seal of approval. Although I don’t think I can fully endorse this Unholy Alliance between Nesquik and Girl Scouts. Primarily because cookies and milk is already the perfect compliment. Better than Peanut Butter and Jelly. Better than hot dogs and mustard. Dipping solid cookies into normal milk is already the one of the best treats you can have. No need to mess with a good thing. Holding an Oreo or a Chips Ahoy submerged in the milk just long enough that its totally saturated, but not long enough that it breaks and sinks to the bottom of your cup, is like an art form for fat people. Drinking the milk at the very end. Eating any of the little bits at the bottom that broke off. All that stuff is the best part of cookies and milk and Nesquik is just trying to ruin that.

I’ll make my own cookie-milk, thank you very much. You little bitch ass Girl Scouts.

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 2:30 PM

Drag Queens Say They Will “Mobilize” If Facebook Doesnt Change Their Policy Forcing Them To Use Their Real Names

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NBC - Some Bay Area drag queens say they are “disappointed” with the lack of progress made at Wednesday’s meeting with Facebook over concerns raised about the social networking site’s “real names” policy. Speaking to reporters at San Francisco City Hall, the group said they would boycott Facebook if they could, but the site is “a part of their lives.”The meeting came after the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and their supporters vowed to protest messages some users received saying that their account had been “temporarily suspended” because “it looks like you’re not using your real name.” Facebook’s stance is that the “real names” policy is designed to “keep the community safe. But “Lil Miss Hot Mess,” who recently had to reluctantly identify herself as Harris David on her Facebook page, said that policy was backfiring. ”Their policy is to provide a safe environment, but we feel that by requiring people to use their legal names it makes people more unsafe by opening them up to attacks,” she said. Lil Miss Hot Mess said that as one of the most important social public forums, Facebook’s policy is an issue that affects the transgender and LGBT community, social workers, teachers, victims of domestic violence and people who want anonymity for any number of reasons. ”Facebook’s ‘real names’ policy is unsafe and unfair to performers,” said “Heklina,” a 47-year-old drag queen from San Francisco. “Facebook knows we are mobilized and ready to protest this policy. There are people who work at Facebook who oppose this policy. Facebook has their heart in the right place but their policy is misguided.”

What does a bunch of drag queens “mobilizing” even mean, you ask? I have no idea. But I promise you, you dont wanna find out. Like is Zuckerberg really weighing the pros and cons of this situation? You really wanna keep this Real Name policy so bad that you want drag queens mobilizing on your ass? You really want Double Cakes and Lil Miss Hot Mess marching on Facebook HQ? I mean look at this picture:

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You really wanna fuck with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence? This tag team right here:

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Would be enough for me to let these weirdo dykes – or trannies, or whatever – have anything they want. Post whatever you want under whatever name you want, fellas/ladies. Just please, please, please don’t mobilize on us.

Shout out to @SaintBrendan for the link

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

60 Year Old Dude In The Hospital Claims 33 Year Old Nurse Forced Sex On Him

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SEPTEMBER 17A female nurse “initiated unsolicited sexual relations, including intercourse” with a hospitalized Illinois man who was awaiting a heart transplant, according to a lawsuit filed Monday against the woman and the hospital where her employment was later terminated.  In a Cook County Circuit Court complaint, retiree John Cantone, 60, accused Rachel Shaper of battery and alleged that the Advocate Christ Medical Center in suburban Chicago was negligent in supervising the 33-year-old registered nurse. Cantone, whose wife Laura is co-plaintiff in the lawsuit, charges that Shaper, seen at right, “had a propensity to initiate unauthorized physical contact with patients.” The nurse, he added, “had attempted and/or succeeded” in initiating similar contact with other patients in her care. According to the complaint, Cantone was in his hospital bed at 9 PM when Shaper entered Room 916 East and “initiated unsolicited sexual relations, including intercourse.” The October 12, 2012 encounter, Cantone claimed, occurred in the hospital’s cardiac intensive care unit, where he was awaiting a new heart. At the time of the alleged sexual acts, Cantone (pictured below) was “medicated with various drugs and was under electronic monitoring,” according to the complaint. Cantone’s lawsuit seeks in excess of $200,000 in damages. The complaint was filed about a month before the two-year statue of limitations on battery and negligence claims would have expired. 

When you first see this headline your first reaction is “What the fuck?” Right? What kind of 60 year old dude, perhaps on his death bed, wouldnt want some chick half his age riding his D? There’s really no such thing as a chick forcing sex on a dude in general, let alone if you’re 60 years old and dying.

And then you read a little bit of the article and it all makes sense. “Cantone, whose wife Laura is co-plaintiff in the lawsuit…” Ding ding ding! There’s your answer. Wife finds out that the nurse has been sucking your dick and you’ve got no choice but to play the “she forced me” card. No rational dude with a bad ticker would ever turn down a blow job unless his annoying wife found out. Then he has no choice but to go into defense mode. You’re like a raccoon thats been backed into a corner. Your wife is ready to rip your already-defective-heart right out of your chest and you just have to play it off like this perverted nurse was raping you while you were knocked out. It sucks for that nurse but any guy in that predicament would play that same card.

By KFC posted September 18th, 2014 at 12:00 PM
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