Daily Mail- Schoolgirl Emily Marsh’s hiccups started on a normal day in January when she was on her way to a maths lesson. But the 13-year-old has not been able to stop since, hiccuping every two seconds, even when she is asleep. Experts are baffled by her rare condition and haven’t yet been able to find a cure. The schoolgirl has tried every home-made remedy, from a spoonful of vinegar to holding her breath and is so desperate that she is about to have a go at acupuncture and has appointments to see an audiologist and tic doctor. She finds it so exhausting she’s been given afternoons off school to rest. ‘We are willing to try anything,’ said her mother Cathy Barrett, 45, a charity worker from Wallington, Surrey. ‘It’s been 10 weeks now, and a very long 10 weeks at that. Emily is exhausted by it all but she’s taking it in her stride.

Hiccups are one of the most aggravating things in the world. Right up there with having water in your ear or cutting your fingernail just too short. I can’t imagine having them for ten straight weeks now. I’d blow my brains out. But as a 13 year old who gets to miss school because of this hiccup disease, I would be over the fucking moon. The worst thing in the world when you’re 13 is school. The absolute worst. 1 day of school is 50 times worse than 10 weeks of hiccups. I would do anything to get out of school back then. Fake sick, fake an injury. Whatever. I bet this bitch is faking hiccups this whole time just to play hooky. All these years if I had known a bad case of the hiccups would have gotten me out of shit I didn’t want to do, I woulda been faking it. Zero percent chance anyone can tell the difference between my fake hiccups and my real ones.