They say a pictures worth a thousand words – this one is worth 6 trillion

NY Post – A 17-year-old boy who says he has “abnormally fast thumbs” has been named the fastest texter in America for the second year in a row. ”It feels incredible,” said Austin Wierschke of Rhinelander, Wis., after winning the sixth annual U.S. LG National Texting Competition in Times Square on Wednesday. He gets $50,000 in prize money, which he says he’ll save and use to pay for college, along with the $50,000 he won last year. Eleven contestants from around the U.S. competed, all using the same type of cellphone, an LG Optimus Zip phone with QWERTY keyboard. Cellphone-maker LG Electronics sponsored the contest. The competition tested three skills — speed, accuracy and dexterity — on four different challenges. They were “do you know text speak?”, in which contestants had to spell out text abbreviations; texting while blind-folded; “text blitz,” where phrases were shown to the contestants for a length of time and they copied them as fast as they could; and texting backward, where jumbled words were given to the contestants and they had to figure out the word. To practice for the competition, the 17-year-old champion said he sent almost 500 texts a day to his friends. Runner-up Kent Augustine, 16, from Queens, said he was “a little disappointed,” but he won’t be walking away empty-handed, since the second-place winner gets $10,000. He said he was going to try again next year.

An LG Optimus Zip? Why don’t we just have this competition on a fuckin Nokia Brick phone? Maybe add a 5th element to the competition and see who’s best at Snake? I mean Christ almighty what kind of joke is this? All international cell phone competitions from here on out obviously need to be carried out on iPhones. Having a texting contest on a fucking LG with a key pad is like having a dunk contest on an 8 foot hoop.

Step up the big leagues you fuckin losers! Yea I’m glad you can type the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog on your keyboard. Call me when you’re on a touch screen and Steve Job’s dead spirit is autocorrect quick to quiet and fox to fax. Call me when when you’re trying to click “M” and you keep clicking backspace and erasing letters. Call me when you’re looking for a percentage sign. Gotta go through like 3 different keyboards to find it.

The iPhone. Thats where texting champions are made. Now cue the insecure Blackberry fags talking about how awesome their phone is.

PS -$50,000?? Fifty fucking thousand? The winner should get a fucking $100  United States Savings Bond