Huff PoBy most accounts, burping is considered a sign of bad etiquette, but to a small group of people, it’s an actual athletic endeavor. They are the stout-hearted and full-tummied members of the World Burping Federation, an organization that aims, according to its website, to promote “belching best practices” while “also seeking to remove the stigma that has become associated with belching in recent centuries.” To that end, five founding members recently met in New York to participate in what was billed as the first annual World Burping Championship, with burper Tim Janus coming out on top with an 18.1-second burp. “I’ve been doing this all my life with friends and family in backyards and parking lots, so I’m happy to do it on a stage,” Janus told The Huffington Post. “I’d like to add events in decibel burping and burp-talking as well.” Janus also competes professionally in eating competitions under the name “Eater X,” but said the World Burping Championship is equally important. “I compete as ‘Eater X’ in competitive eating events and under my own name in the WBF. I consider myself the Bo Jackson of the bowel,” he said, name-checking the 1980s-era athlete who excelled at pro baseball and pro football before injuries cut both careers short. “I see eating and burping going hand in hand.” The 18.1-second burp that won Janus the inaugural event was literally heard around the world, thanks to the international media.

“The Bo Jackson of The Bowel.” If thats not the best nickname you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. I mean how serious is this cat about his burp game? Talking about his technique and his strategy. His worries and concerns. “If I burp with too much force a 12 second burp becomes an 8 second burp.” Most people would laugh at 5 idiots in a bar on a Saturday afternoon wearing t shirts over their plaid button ups voicing their worries about their burping performance but not me. Not a blogger. I do the same thing with my craft. I get concerned about saying “fuck” too many times in one sentence. I open up and google all the different slang terms for vagina so I don’t say pussy too often. Tim Janus worries about being too powerful and turning a 12 second burp into 8, I worry about being too prejudice against the Jews.

Am I gonna pretend that Tim Janus and I are curing cancer or performing brain surgery? No. I’m just saying we’re very proud about our trade.