Daily MailBrooke Greenberg may look like an infant, but she is actually 20 years old. Despite her increasing age, Brooke has remained physically and cognitively similar to a toddler, with an estimated mental age of nine months to one year.  Appearing on Katie with her parents and 17-year-old sister, Brooke, who is from Maryland, is unable to talk, still has her baby teeth and like any infant, travels in a push chair – but doctors have never been able to explain why. Her father, Howard Greenberg, explained: ‘From age one to four, Brooke changed. She got a little bit bigger. But age four, four to five, she stopped.’

Well obviously this fucking sucks. But it got me thinking – if you could pick one age to be permanently, what would it be? I think most people out there would pick somewhere between 18-22. Go back to your college when you didn’t have a care in the world. Personally my first couple years out of college were actually more fun than my days in school. But, I was a cubicle monkey so if we’re talking about permanently picking an age, it could not be when I was in the work force. Its easy to pick one of your college years and just get drunk and fuck sluts and sleep in forever. Very easy. As a matter of fact I may have changed my own opinion just writing that sentence. But, I think I’d go with 10 years old. When I was 10 I was a fucking stud at sports. I have no problem bragging like an asshole about it because I’ll be the first to admit I’m an athletic disaster now. But back then I was an absolute monster on the diamond and on the hardwood.

Now the main detractor about being 10 is that you’re not partying and you’re not getting laid. But here’s the thing – the only reason you start partying and fucking is because you need some sort of adult entertainment once you’re no longer allowed to be a kid. Its like, well I can’t play Little League Baseball anymore so I’m gonna get shitfaced and try to stick my dick inside that girl. Maybe that will be just as fun. But back when you’re 10, ignorance is bliss. You don’t even know why it would be fun to get drunk or fuck. So you wouldn’t really be missing out. You could just ride bikes and build forts and play Little League for an eternity while someone else takes care of you and houses you and feeds you. Life is pure and simple and hasn’t been ruined by money or work or broads holding you hostage with the Power of the Pussy. 10 years old for life is heaven.