ABC - A Toledo, Ohio teenager was arrested after police say he became enraged that his mother did not bring him a Rally’s cheeseburger and stabbed her. Vergie Dean says her 6’3 300 pound son Aaron stabbed her with a butcher knife after she came home with a cheeseburger for herself and not for him. Dean tells ABC 13, “”He was like ‘Where’s my food at?’ and I’m like ‘I’m not gonna give you anything’ so he smacked my sandwich and he pushed me or something and it escalated from there…” She says her 18-year-old then grabbed and choked her before grabbing a knife. “He had me in the corner. I took a knife and I stabbed him in his finger. He ran in his room and grabbed a big ole butcher knife. He came back and was like ‘You cut me, you cut me.’ He was standing right there. He just took the knife and stuck it in my arm. ” Dean says her son suffers from schizophrenia and does not want him to stay in jail.

Well Well Well. Quite the predicament we have here. Who’s to blame in this classic case of “She Didn’t Get Me A Cheeseburger So I Stabbed Her?” Who’s the victim? Who’s the assailant? This case is like an onion, folks. The more layers you peel away the more it stinks.

Subject A: Vergie Dean – Neglectful mother, or selfish bitch? What kind of mother goes out to Rally’s, gets herself a double cheeseburger, and leaves her cub at home alone to starve? Like “ohhh look at me devouring my downright scrumptious flame broiled double cheeseburger. Go munch on some of your schizophrenic Ritalin pills that should hold you over until breakfast!” That’s just pure selfishness and downright unnatural. On the other hand, he had already ate-en. And when you’ve already ate-en, can one really expect a double cheeseburger meal to just fall into one’s lap?

Subject B: Aaron Dean – Super fat violent dickhead, or Super fat hungry schizophrenic dude?  Call me old fashioned but I don’t think there’s ever an acceptable time to choke your mother and stab her with a butcher’s knife. Its just not how I was raised. But that being said, if there’s one thing I’ve learned its that fat people can’t be held accountable for their actions when they are hungry. Especially when they are schizophrenic. Sure, maybe one of his personalities had already ate-en, but what about the other six or seven people living inside this fat ass’s brain? Give him a phone call on his pre-paid go phone when you’re at the drive thru and ask him what he wants. Or at the very least pick up an order of fries or a 5 piece nugget for this monster to munch on.

Quite the predicament, indeed. Maybe if Aaron wasn’t 300 lbs to begin with, he wouldn’t stab someone over a cheeseburger. Yet isn’t it Vergie’s fault she raise such a obese mess in the first place? There’s no solution. Every answer raises a new question. Hung jury. If it were up to me I’d just send them back to the hood and let them eat and stab each other to death.

What do you losers think:

Vote 1 for Mama got what she deserved Vote 10 for you should probably never stab your mother with a butcher’s knife.

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