Huff Po – Joey Schwanke says she’s old school. The 81-year-old Fremont, Neb. resident told The Huffington Post that she and her husband, Mel, use their matching outfits to “enhance” their relationship, which has been going strong for 65 years. “We’re of the old school where you get married once and that’s it,” Schwanke told HuffPost. “We’ve been together 24 hours a day at work and at home. KETV reports that the couple has been wearing matching outfits for 35 years. Joey Schwanke picks out the ensembles, which often have a floral theme, because the couple owns and operates a successful flower shop in Fremont. “We joke that we’re connected by velcro because we do everything together,” Schwanke told HuffPost. The two have 146 custom-made matching outfits which typically match Joey’s dress with Mel’s tie, according to KETV. Joey Schwanke said the keys to her marriage’s success are love and respect. “To this day, if he does something for me I thank him, she says. “If we bun into each other, we say excuse me. We fully respect each other and consider each other with every decision we make.”
What a fuckin power move from Mel Schwonkee. Schwonkee swagger through the roof. I bet some of you simpletons out there think this is gay. Call him a pussy. Say he’s whipped by his woman. Blah blah blah. Fuck that noise. Mel Schwonkee is an old school boss and there’s nothing else to say. Dude marks his territory like a don. Joey Schwonk is his woman and everyone knows it. You know what happens when they go out for an early bird special at the diner and some guy is eying Joey Schwonk? They take one look at her black and white zig zag dress and they remember Mel’s matching tie. Stay away from her, thats Mel’s bitch. Stop by the American Legion for a drink and some guy is hitting on her “Oh I like your floral shirt.” “Why thank you why don’t you tell that to my husband, he’s wearing the same one. Motherfucker.” They’re like Bonnie and Clyde. Joey’s a ride or die bitch and Mel wants everyone to know it.
Mel probably takes her home every night and pounds her out after Wheel. Power couple sex. Hikes up that dress and ties her up with his matching neck tie and lays his power dick on her. Not because its cute they wear matching outfits, because its an alpha move to own your chick and make sure the world knows it. Chicks can’t resist confidence like that.
PS – Make no mistake about it, if Mel Schwonkee knew how to work a cell phone, he wouldn’t be too much of a tough guy to send a smiley face text.