NY Daily News- Police are searching for a New Jersey teen who disappeared after she tweeted that there was a stranger in her house.“There is somone in my hour ecall 911,” Kara Alongi posted at around 6:15 p.m. Sunday. She was alone at her Clark home while the rest of her family was at a sporting event, according to the Clark-Garwood Patch. Cops who checked out the house told the Star-Ledger that there were no signs of foul play or any disturbance. The hashtag “#helpfindkara” trended after Alongi’s mysterious tweet, but some users doubted that she was actually missing and thought the whole thing was a prank. Several people posted an image apparently showing a deleted tweet from Alongi that read, “Wtf? Why is everyone saying I’m missing? I was jkin haha.” Others argued that it had been Photoshopped. But cops are taking her disappearance seriously. Canine units were brought in to aid in the search, and Clark Police Chief Alan Scherb urged her to get in touch with authorities as soon as possible. ”Obviously, our concern is for your safety,” he said.

SAVE THE CAT!

I haven’t been this invested in a situation teetering on the line of death and hoax so hard since Balloon Boy, Falcon Heene. If this ends up being some stunt to get attention because Kara’s boyfriend was making out with some slut at her high school, I’m gonna be pissed. Like this could easily be a social media-driven attempt at a teenage girl’s cry for help. The “I cut sometimes” of this generation. Fucking Twitter. But it could also be a legit Lovely Bones thing going on here too so I’m torn. Some fucked up Stanley Tucci, secret underground playhouse shit where being polite is the only rule. BUT, if it ends up being the most grandiose marketing ploy I’ve ever seen, Bravo Kara! Ya bullshitted a bullshitter!. 90,000 followers in 1 night because of 1 tweet. I’ve spent 6 months busting my ass on Twitter and up until yesterday, I felt pretty good at 2,500. A serviceable Twitter cock. But here comes Kidnappy Kara scooping up disciples at a One Direction pace making me feel like fucking Zollo with his 1,400 followers.

P.S.- The “Wtf? Why is everyone saying I’m missing? I was jkin haha.” mystery tweet is 100% not real. I’ve been Facebook/Twitter hacked plenty of times to know what’s what. Amateur move going for the over-the-top 16 year old vernacular without actually getting into the mind of the child. A more believable photoshop tweet woulda been “HOLY SHIT!! I was joking. I’m fine!!” Notice the brevity and the delicate symmetry of exclamation points flanking the body of the tweet. You need to capture the teenage angst. Truly an art.

UPDATE: Police confirmed this was all just a hoax. So on that note, call me in 2 years, Kara! Smoke in training with blatant disregard for society. Just how I like em.