Over the years at Barstool I’ve made a lot of enemies. Some I expected to encounter (minorities, women) Others, not so much. Namely, Blindos and Real Life Super Heroes. If you told me a couple years ago that I would have the entire community of blind people and self proclaimed super heroes attacking me online as a prejudiced bigot, I would have laughed in your face. But alas, sometimes life takes you down a path that you never expect. Sometimes you become the poster child for blind hate. Sometimes its the demented people of society who think they’re Batman.

And sometimes you step on the wrong unicyclists toes and all the sudden you’ve got unicycle beef. Now this @BrooklynJuggler cat was definitely kind of baiting me because his whole shtick is to be the wacky unicycle guy and drum up as much attention as possible. But thats exactly the point. Nobody juggles and rides a fucking unicycle unless they are attention whores. And whether you try to hide it and pretend you’re a hardcore unicycle enthusiast or you’re openly trolling, bottom line is you’re starved for attention and need the “Look at me look at me!” aspect of your life to be fulfilled. Rather than just being an intriguing and interesting person, you choose to ride a bike with one wheel.

There was another dude involved in this argument named @EliB_Unicycle but Stoolies attacked him so bad he deleted his account so I couldnt get any screenshots. That dude was a flatland extreme-unicyclist. I couldn’t decide who was worse. The X-Games bro unicyclist or the juggling magician unicyclist. Atrocious. And the worst part was, neither guy had any sort of good explanation for uni cycling. Not one good argument to refute my “you’re doing it for attention” point. Its easier to lock up? It works your core? Yea dude, those are the reasons you’ve chosen a completely impractical, unusual mode of transportation.

Fuck you guys and fuck unicycles.