WASHINGTON, Nov. 4 (UPI)Items from the defunct ESPN Zone in Washington, including the Slap Shot Cage, the Power Pitcher Cage and the Nacho Cheese Dispenser, are being auctioned online. Auction site Rasmus.com plans to get rid of leftover property from the Washington restaurant, which closed alongside ESPN Zones in four other cities in June 2010, The Washington Post reported Friday. The items up for auction include sports simulators, 72 arcade games, foosball tables, french fry fryers, an electronic scoreboard, a Keg Shelf and two tap systems. The auctions run though Nov. 16.


Well this is just about the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of the world. Air hockey, pop a shot, slap shot cages, pitching cages, football cages, arcade games, golf simulators. You pick out your favorite shit from Sport Time USA and this auction fucking has it. And the most expensive shit is like 150 bucks. That boxing game there? The last picture? The current bid for that shit is FIVE CENTS. A fucking nickel. I don’t even like that game. But for a nickel I’ll buy 50 of them. Arcarde games for 10 bucks. Pop a shot for 25. Its highway robbery.

When I was a kid like every other Christmas Santa would get me one of those fucking 10-in-1 pool tables. You know what I’m talking about? Things fucking sucked.

“All-in-one” my ass. Yea sure let me just play billiards with these pool cues the size of pencils and pool balls the size of marbles. And then I’ll flip it over and play ping pong on the 2 and a half foot long table! Awesome! They fucking sucked. If you’re a father and you’re reading this, don’t get your kids that piece of garbage. Go to the auction site and buy them a real life air hockey table and it will be the greatest gift of all time.

Not even kidding I’m thinking about buy the bowling lanes. I think for practical purposes the air hockey and the pop a shot are the best buys. Because you’ll actually play those every single day. But the bowling lanes. Thats the silver donut. Thats the one. Imagine having people over and its like “Hey what do you wanna do? Watch TV? Play beer pong? Cards? Or how about a round robin tournament involving air hockey, pop a shot, a couple frames of bowling and a round of 18 on the golf simulator?”

I don’t care if shipping is a thousand bucks I’ll have a bowling alley in my apartment by November 16th.