Huff Po – An animal semen-wielding menace is on the loose in the United Kingdom. A strange man approached two teen girls and¬†smeared a white, sticky liquid¬†on their clothing in Bury, near Manchester, last month, the Mirror reported. Their account is suspiciously similar to¬†attacks that occurred on teen girls¬†in the same area from November 2009 to January 2010. According to the BBC, one 15-year-old victim reported a man sullying her with liquid, while a 14-year-old said a man bumped into her and wiped an icky substance on her while she was with her mother. Two more girls, aged 15 and 16, said that a man approached them to ask for the time, and when he left, one of the girls noticed something dripping from her skirt. Police believe the gunk used in all cases was animal semen. “We are well aware that these incidents are very similar to a series of incidents in Bury three years ago,” Detective Chief Inspector Sara Wallwork said, according to the Mirror. “We are reviewing the original investigation and keeping an open mind as to the possibility that the same man may be responsible.” Though the original offender was never caught, police did release CCTV footage of the man they believed to be responsible. Victims of the 2009-2010 incidents described the pervert as a white man between ages 25 and 35, always carrying a bag.

You gotta be one spiteful son of a bitch to smear animal cum all over chicks at the mall. Wake up in the morning and fill up a bag with semen and just set out for the day to give girls animal money shots in public? Jiminy fuckin cricket. Thats about as deranged as it gets. Where do you get the cum? How do you carry it? How do you put it on the girls? Those are just the least of my questions.

I just don’t understand these people who would rather do shit like this than have normal fun. How is this better than going to the bar and boozing and watching sports? Why don’t you go out and try to hook up with chicks rather than assault them with horse semen? You should be out there trying to¬†consensually¬†throw your own semen on them, not forcefully throwing animal semen on them. Bottom line is bro, if your hobbies include animal jizz assault you’re doing life completely wrong.

PS – Not a good look for the UK when you read a headline about an animal semen menace that ends with “again.” That is just about the last epidemic you want sweeping your country.