Daily Mail- They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but now it seems that you can show them how to drive. An animal welfare group in New Zealand has trained three dogs to get behind the wheel in an attempt to show the public how intelligent they are. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals will put them to the test in a live broadcast next Monday. The dogs have been trained over eight weeks in specially made wooden carts which they have been driving around inside an indoor test lab. They then graduated to a modified Mini in which they sat on their haunches in the driver’s seat with their paws on the steering wheel. Their feet go on extension levers which had been attached to the accelerator and the brake whilst their paw will rest on the gearstick. The dogs that were chosen were Porter, a 10-month old Beardie Cross, Monty, an 18-month-old Schnauzer Cross, and Ginny, a one-year-old Beardie Whippet Cross.

Now if we could only teach women to drive we’ll be set.

I wonder if the female dogs were hopeless with this training. Like Porter and Monty can probably drive a stick shift and parallel park by now and that bitch Ginny still can’t even figure out how to merge. Checking herself out in the mirror and singing and dancing to her favorite song just waiting to die in a fiery doggie driving death. Imagine a female Shih Tzu out there behind the wheel. Female, Asian and canine. Death on wheels.