TelegraphOfficers have received two complaints in the past week about a man who seems desperate to suck women’s toes – whether they want him to or not. “We want him off the streets,” said Conway police spokesman LaTresha Woodruff. Last Saturday, Ruth Harris, 83, told police she was sitting in a chair in front of her apartment when a man approached and said he liked her feet. According to a police report, the man took off one of her shoes and began sucking on her toe. “The man then asked if he could kiss her and she had told him no and told him he was crazy,” the report stated. The man left quickly after people walked into the apartment complex’s courtyard. On Tuesday, police received another call from a woman who said that on Saturday she was shopping when she noticed a man staring at her. The man then told the woman that he had a foot fetish and that “her toes are so long and succulent” and he wanted to suck them. When the woman’s cell phone rang, the man retreated. She told police the man had “messed up toes.” It is not the first time that Conway has dealt with this sort of complaint. In the 1990s, a man who was known as the “Toe Suck Fairy” kept Arkansans captivated with his foot fondling antics in Conway and Little Rock. That assailant, Michael Robert Wyatt, pretended to be a podiatrist in order to fondle and suck a Conway woman’s toes at a clothing store. He received probation, a fine and court-ordered therapy but his probation was revoked after he was arrested in another town on similar charges. In 1991, he was convicted of making threats for telling a convenience store clerk that he wanted to cut off her feet and suck her toes while she bled to death. Wyatt was sentenced to four years in state prison. He served just more than one year in prison, according to Conway police. Some two decades later, police have not ruled out the possibility that the current toe-sucker could be the same man.

Ohhh watch out! Toe Suck Fairy running around Rex Ryan’ing the shit out of everyone! What are we gonna do??? Whats next? Maybe he’ll run around town giving out free massages. Maybe he’ll offer to do your chores and carry your groceries.

Gimme a fuckin break. Toe sucking is about as harmless as it gets. Some people out there pay extra for this kinda shit and The Toe Suck Fairy is just giving it away for free. I mean just look at his name. They don’t call him the Toe Suck Monster or the Toe Suck Boogey Man. Its the Toe Suck Fairy because he’s gentle and people probably like him. Take Ruth Harris for example. That 83 year old bird was just sitting on her porch in her rocking chair and next thing you know some middle aged fella is making out with her Little Piggies. You trying to tell me that wasn’t the greatest moment of Ruth Harris’ life since the day the Japanese surrendered in World War II and people we’re just fucking left and right? Thats the most action she’s seen since the Nixon Administration. She didn’t even stop him. Just said she didn’t wanna kiss.

And what about the chick shopping. He walked up to her and told her she has “long and succulent toes” and that he wanted to mouth fuck them. Tell me how thats any different than approaching a girl and saying she has “beautiful eyes” and trying to pick her up? Chicks are self conscious as FUCK about their feet. They’ve all got bunions and corns and their toes are all mashed up from high heels. That chick was probably beaming after that compliment. Really when you think about it the Toe Suck Fairy is just going around town boosting the self esteem of the women of the community. Telling that one chick he wanted to chop her feet off and suck her toes while she bled to death was probably a bit aggressive but for the most part he’s making women feel good about themselves.