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At Least My Loved Ones Have Been Honest About My Lazy Eye For The First 26 Years Of My Life
So today is a pretty fucking dark day for me. Found out I have a lazy eye. Posted a picture of myself trying to make fun of the doorman Jimmy for saying I looked tired. Turns out I don’t look tired I just look fucking ugly and disgusting. Like Biggie in the interlude break down during Mo Money Mo Problems. I’ll be perfectly honest, I have a really fat neck. So I kinda poked my head out on purpose to get rid of it so thats why I have a pencil neck in this picture. People were commenting like “You call that a neck??” which I was ok with. Because I ordinarily get told I have a fat neck. But who fucking cares about my neck when I’m sporting a Quasimodo eye?? How the fuck have I never realized I have a lazy eye? 26 years of my life. Nobody told me. Not my best friends. Not my girlfriend. Not my own flesh and blood. My mom and my brother just letting me go about my cockeyed life like its no big deal.
But you know who kept it real? The Stoolies, thats who:
“Tired is the least of your problems. Anyone ever tell you that your left eye is a different shape than your right? That’s almost as bad as having only one eyebrow…”
Bro what’s up with your lazy/cockeye? That seems like the more pressing issue.
Thats some real talk right there. A dude puts up a blog trying to bash some lowly doorman and the Stoolies put him in his place. Maybe the guy with the retard face should pipe down huh? Thanks Stoolies. I know I can always trust you.
My mom still hasn’t texted me back, by the way.
Personally I think you look like a younger, fitter Brad Pitt.
…with a lazy eye.
Look at the brightside, you and Stuart Scott can now start a support group and charity for the cure.
yanno what’s fucked? this caused me to drag my 26 year old ass in front of the mirror and see the SAME fucking thing. it’s barely noticeable, like yours, but it’s still noticeable. … fuck man…
now that you mention it your neck is pretty fat
Your eyelid swelling is just a manifestation of allergies. It’s allergy season… Take another pic in mid October to confirm whether or not you have a lazy eye.
How is your peripheral vision? Does that couch potato of an eye affect it?
It’s not a lazy eye. A lazy eye is when you try to look one way and only 1 eye moves. Stuart Scott is a good example.
Maybe he was just letting your eye know that it looked tired. Not your whole body.
look at how WONKY that thing is!
everyone has different sized eyes, get over yourself. Still a hilarious blog though, I thought of you saying the n word to people with lazy eyes
can we look at the even bigger picture here? KFC has a girlfriend…
Am I the only one who doesn’t see the lazy eye?
Oh and btw just realized you have your mom stored as mama in your contacts. I don’t know what to say except that I respect you not giving a fuck about showing your face and other personal shit on the internet.
You’re one step away from Peter Griffin stroke face.
PS: Tell Kaitlyn to show us some titties.
you are wearing green… shocker
I…just don’t see it??
you redeemed yourself with this one kfc. no way is that a lazy eye
seriously. stop with the self portrait blogs. prez does them and they are LAME AS FUCK. you are better than this. A “do i look tired?” blog is just as queer as prez trying to blow himself in a bathtub.
Stuart Scott only has one eye you fucking retards. The other one is fake, it isn’t a lazy eye you dumb bag of shit.
Most people out there have various facial asymmetries–have a real close look at peoples faces and you’ll see them. Noses a little off-center, eyes or ears not quite lined up, off-kilter chin a bit.
Don’t worry about it bro, you’re fine.
That is not a lazy eye…you have what’s called ptosis on the left. Your eyelid is very, MILDLY droopy….a lazy eye is when the iris/pupil actually veer off to a side and does not look straight ahead. Just thought you should know the technical term of your malady from a nurse fan who still would let you throw it in her….
[...] use the wet naps yet and you rub your eye. Blinded for at least the next 45 minutes. I think I have my lazy eye because I always do [...]