Banana Mogul Refused To Call Ambulance For Threesome Partner Who Was Overdosing
NY Post – A hard-partying banana mogul repeatedly refused to call for an ambulance after a woman he plied with cocaine fatally overdosed during a three-way sex romp at a Park Avenue hotel, a cop testified yesterday. Thomas Hoey Jr., owner of the Long Island Banana Corp., had used a business card to give Kimberly Calo high-quality coke in his suite at The Kitano, said retired NYPD Detective Edward Boyle, who investigated Calo’s 2009 death. After having sex with then-mistress Nicole Zobkiw, Hoey went at it with Calo, who helped herself to blow on a coffee table, Boyle said Zobkiw told him. After snorting more, Calo began convulsing and “her head dropped to the table with a thud,” Boyle told jurors at Manhattan federal court, where Zobkiw is on trial on charges of making false statements and perjury. “She was frothing at the mouth. Her eyes rolled back in her head. Her lips started turning blue,” Boyle said. Zobkiw, who had brought Calo to the hotel after meeting her that night at a Long Island bar, tried to get Hoey to call 911, Boyle said. But Hoey allegedly said “he’d seen this before” and Calo “was going to be fine.” Security video shows Zobkiw going to the lobby three times for help, Boyle said. But Hoey told a hotel security guard a “doctor friend” was on the way, Boyle said, adding that the pal had told Zobkiw that Calo was dead.
When you’re living life fast and loose as a Banana Mogul you’re bound to come across some seriously dire situations. Life ain’t all chocolate covered banans and Park Avenue threesomes. Sometimes Banana Mogul groupies overdose on cocaine in your hotel room and start foaming at the mouth and convulsing. And in that moment you gotta decide what you want your legacy to be. Do you wanna be known as the Banana Mogul who lets his threesome partner die? Or the Banana Mogul who swoops in to the rescue and saves your threesome partner even though you risk your Banana Empire by being caught with illicit drugs?
Just remember: what we do in our Banana Mogul life echoes in Banana Mogul eternity. Choose carefully.


This is my best dream and worst nighmare in one.
Oh COME ON!
now that’s a mogul if i’ve ever seen one
What does this story have to do with anything?
So the worst part of being a Banana Mogul is a classy Park Ave threesome turning into an OD. Basically like living as an Olsen twin. What does being an Internet Smut Peddler Mogul get you? The wizonator? Advantage Banana
these bree olson ads on the side spark my need to jerkoff at least twice a day
@5MinMajor what does any story on Barstool have to do with anything? Especially anything written by Neil.
Banana Mogul >> Internet Smut Mogul. Who’d have thunk it..
perfectly timed arrested development quote in the title
Everybody knows you take her to your dealer’s house so he can give you the adrenaline shot that you have to administer into her heart with a stabbing motion to pierce the breastplate. That’s OD101!
*description
I’m an Islanders fan and those orange hats are a free giveaway they do a few times a year that you get with buying tickets for a game at the Coliseum. No way this guy is that much of a mogul.
Well at least it gets the NY Islanders logo in papers. Haven’t seen that in Newsday in years
KFC – Horrible effort dude. You were better off just posting pictures of that morbidly obese snorlax Chris Christie, and blogging about how badly you want to suck the AIDS infested shit out of his asshole through a sippy straw while groping his beefy chins. (Right after the Big Man inhales a Taco Bell 12 pack and gulps down a galon of his tranvestite wife’s semen of course).
NO TOUCHING!
There’s always money in the banana stand.
You cant tell me this guy never saw Pulp Fiction…
this blog has been up for 30 minutes and not one Ween reference? fucking weak.
There’s money IN the banana stand!!!
Nothing will ruin a sexcapade quicker than a chick frothing at the mouth with her eyes rolling to the back of her head.
thats why you never go “high-quality” on the first date. then theyll expect to od and die every time
biggest question is why is he wearing an Islanders hat. I didn’t know they had a fan base
I’m calling everyone a hard-partying banana mogul from now on. Like King of Queens with “demented old circus monkey”.
“Banana Mogul” was Pres’ nickname at Hebrew School back in 78′.
The last line of this blog is the funniest shit I’ve ever read on Barstool. Take a bow!
Just wondering…were any banannas used in the threesome before the OD? If so, we need to know where and with whom…for the report of course
weed yes. Coke no.