Bangkok - A 50-year-old man whose name was withheld was admitted to the police hospital for treatment because his genitalia  had swollen to the size of a coconut, a doctor said.  Pol Capt Dr Surat Kittisup-porn of the Police General Hospital said the man underwent a procedure to enlarge his penis at an illegal clinic about five years ago. He was injected with olive oil, the doctor said. The man’s genitals were working “just fine” until about six months ago. He suffered a cut to his penis and without proper treatment the wound became infected. “He was ashamed to visit a doctor, but the pain and the infection grew so he had no choice,” the doctor told reporters. He was admitted to a private hospital, where doctors found out that cancer has spread in the region. They suggested he move to a government hospital to save on the cost of treatment. Doctors had no choice but to remove his penis, but the cancer spread towards his abdomen and his testicles. Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus, allowing him to control his urine, but they are not optimistic about his future. “The cancer and the wound was so severe when they brought him in,” Dr Surat said “There is a good chance that the cancer will spread again in the future,” he added.

Uh, anybody else still down to give the old “olive oil in the dick” trick a chance? I mean this has gotta be the most misleading article of all time. Some dude gets olive oil injected in his cock 5 years ago. For 4 and a half years he walks around with a perfectly fine, big old penis. Then 6 months ago he slices open his dick and gets an infection and everything falls apart. Hey bro I don’t think it was the olive oil from ’07! Pretty sure your coconut dick and your cancer are from injuring your dick and letting it get infected. And what is this shit about being ashamed to go to the doctor for your infected dick? This dude wasn’t ashamed to walk into a clinic and let someone pump his tiny penis full of E.V.O.O. but when his cock is the size of a coconut and gangrene is setting in he’s too shy to go that shit fixed.

Long story short this is a guy who has been fucking chicks with a dick filled up with olive oil for 4.5 years. Like a water balloon filled with water – his dick is just swollen with some Bertolli. He got careless with his big olive oil dick, “suffered a cut to his penis” and got some cancer. Two completely mutually exclusive situations if you ask me. Olive oil dick injectors must be furious with this completely far fetched connection being drawn between their business and cancerous results.

PS – I was going to ask “how does one “suffer a cut to their penis” but then I figured if you’re the type of dude to inject your dick with olive oil the sky is the limit when it comes to possible penis injuries.