Brooklyn Author Makes A Book Of Williamsburg Douches Who Have At Least $10,000 Worth Of Tattoos
Brokelyn – How many people do you know with epic tattoos? Of those people, how many of them are in a pretty much constant state of fiscal-overdrawnery and/or unemployment (AKA: “freelancing”)? Do they live in Williamsburg? Do they wish they did? They might be in photographer Paul Nathan’s new coffee table book, “Generation Ink: Williamsburg, Brooklyn,” featuring portraits of walking canvases who have spent upwards of $10,000 on their ink. Who are these people, where did they get $10,000 and why did they spend it on tattoos? And who are you to judge? You have a Louis Vuitton bag but are a month behind on rent! Oh, wait, that’s me. Did these people get their money’s worth? And what’s your number?
Hey bro that owl snake across your chest is awesome! Those sleeves that just look like a bunch of leaves are really cool! And hey toots that hand pinching your pussy looks pretty kinky.
But let me see your assholes.
If you ain’t tatt’d up on your sphincter then guess what? You ain’t edgy anymore. Yea I know you 10 grand worth of ink on your body. But if your asshole is ink free than you ain’t hardcore. So, I’m sure you get laid every now and then because you’re in a band with tats. But deep down I know you wanna be the most bad ass rocker/biker out there. And the reality is you’ll just never be as tough as Asshole Tattoo Girl. Sorry.
I have a tattoo of a big shit coming out of my asshole…oh, wait a second…no i don’t!
American places that need to be nuked, in order:
1. Brooklyn
2. Happy Valley
3. wherever the Westboro Baptist Church is (Kansas?)
4. Neil’s apartment
UPDATE: 5. gathering of the Juggalos
fuckin’ tattoo people. few things in life piss me off more than the fact that the brokest people i know inexplicably spend the most money on tats. i know one broad that has four kids (had her first at 14, 2nd at 17…real winner), she’s in her mid-30s now, she bartends like two days a week, and is no doubt living off my tax dollars. i’m not the type to bitch about that shit, but this is one case that the anti-welfare faction would have a field day with, and they’d be right. “oh, i just bought a new leather couch” or “i just spent $4,000 to fix my roof.” bitch, if i was in that situation i’d be chillin with a hole in my roof for three months while i got the money together. but the most maddening thing is that this chick has tattoos off the fucking chain. and every month it seems she’s telling me how she just had $500 of tattoo work done. and this chick is gross, she’s definitely not moonlighting at the titty bar. where the fuck does the money come from? at least with these brooklyn hipsters i know the answer to that question is: “their parents.”
Snake child
lemme see ya sphincta tats
Dro just wrote a fucking BOOK in the comment section. I read it and I agree 100%. Preach homie!
dro man with the classic personal anecdote that makes you wonder where he grew up
deuce deuces, brah.