(CNN) — In a shocking article on TheAwl.com, author and mother Amy Sohn writes that moms in her affluent Brooklyn neighborhood are going through something called “the 40-year-old reversion.” The tedium of raising children, she says, is driving moms in her circle out at night to party to the extreme as if they were 25 again. Sohn likens the scene to the HBO show “Girls,” which depicts life in New York for the post-college crowd: “…We’re masturbating excessively, cheating on good people, doing coke in newly price-inflated townhouses, and sexting compulsively—though rarely with our partners. Our children now school-aged, our marriages entering their second decade, we are avoiding the big questions—Should I quit my job? Have another child? Divorce?—by behaving like a bunch of crazy twentysomething hipsters. Call us the Regressives.” It’s a grim portrait of parenthood and marriage. And cringe-worthy tales of a drunk mom falling down the stairs while leaving a party and a mom who went to third base in the back of a minivan with a man who wasn’t her husband could make a person who’s thinking about getting pregnant hit the pause button.

Something is happening in this world. Something glorious. A grass roots movement that I previously thought would be impossible to create, let alone watch it grow organically.

The movement I’m talking about is chicks morphing into complete whores under the delusion that they are doing it to empower themselves. 50 Shades of Grey. Girls. “The 40 year old reversion.” All these things are just tales of girls getting fucked a lot and then claiming they’re stronger for it. Its bananas. Guys have literally been trying since the beginning of time to convince girls that they should fuck and be kinky and not care what anybody else thinks. For like 200,000 years men have been working at this, and for the most part, failing miserably. For roughly 199,999.5 years we’ve lived in a world where chicks are constantly fighting that and being annoying.

Then all of a sudden in like the past 6 months, they just decided to buy into it. They just decided that being sluts and getting dominated was ok. And they beauty of it all was that they did it on their own. They’re convinced they came up with this new lifestyle and its their choice. Now they’re “liberated.” Now they’re “empowered.” Its on “their terms.” Whatever you say bitch! You can be liberated and empowered as you’re tied up in my bed with a ball gag in your mouth. Everything can be on your terms now that “your terms” involve anal experimentation and promiscuity. Chicks are like “I’m sick and tired of being walked on! I’m gonna go suck some dick!” Yea toots! You show em who’s boss!

Doesn’t matter if you’re college hipster chicks or 40 year old moms. Every woman across the board just caught wind that its chic and trendy to fuck and bought into immediately. There’s a reason why feminism never works. Its because they’ve been fighting an uphill battle the whole time. Swimming upstream. All the women out there just wanted to be told its ok to be sluts and once that happened it was like the flood gates opened.

Congrats, girls! You win!