NYDNWhen a musically-inclined Brooklyn couple decided to call it quits, they created a breakup video to share the news with friends. Posted online late Wednesday, it’s a soon-to-be-viral YouTube hit. But for 30-year-old Jonathan Mann, it was simply a bittersweet ending to a five-year relationship. “I want kids and she doesn’t,” Mann told the Daily News. The lyrics of “We’ve Got To Break Up” reflect the Williamsburg couple’s baby-centric downfall and reassure friends they won’t have to pick sides. Mann says he and his ex-girlfriend, 31-year-old Ivory King, thought the music video would be the easiest way to break the news. “I didn’t want to make a post on Facebook and have that be it,” he said. “And I didn’t want to have to explain it over and over to people, because that can be really painful. “And I hoped it would feel cathartic to make this together, as sort of our final act,” he added. It didn’t quite work that way. “When it comes down to it, there’s no way to feel anything but sad in a situation like ours,” Mann said. Heartbreak aside, he’s been pleased by his friends’ reactions. “We’ve been together for so long that we have so many mutual friends, and it was a big thing to sort of split that up,” Mann said. “But people are being super supportive. They’re happy that we made this and that it’s amicable between us.” The video was part of Mann’s ongoing “Song a Day” project.

Right off the bat let me just say these hipster assholes are probably just doing this to get hits. Because in a normal break up the last thing you wanna do is stand side by side and do a little singalong with the person you can’t stand anymore. We all know there’s no such thing as a mutual break up. Theres no such thing as being friends after you date. And there’s no such thing as “lets sing a song together one last time.” Maybe, maybe you fuck one last time. Although I’m pretty sure “break up sex” is just a myth from TVs and the movies. You know how many “Does This Look Like The Face Of A Woman…” blogs I’ve written where the girl lures her asshole boyfriend into sex and then just bites his dick off or something? Tricked him with break up sex only to get revenge in the worst way. Bottom line is when you decide to break up you should just peace the fuck out and never see each other again. So, I’m skeptical about this video from the jump.

But lets say, for the sake of argument, these hipster idiots really did date 5 years and are breaking up and really made this video to send to their friends. What a couple of fucking assholes. I don’t give a shit about most of my friends relationships. Don’t wanna hear about what you guys did over the weekend. Don’t wanna hear about why you guys are in a fight. And I certainly don’t care why you’re breaking up. Just means one less person that will be telling me awful relationship stories all the time. He wanted babies and she wants a career and I want both of you to shut the fuck up. Like hey guy – she looks like she’s dressed to go to the Civil War, probably should be jumping for joy you broke ties. And really, take a look at yourself in the mirror. Would you wanna have kids with you? Can’t exactly blame the bitch either. Everyone thinks you should have broken up a long time ago we don’t need a song now that it finally happened.