NaplesAn East Naples man is accused of punching his girlfriend’s father and biting a boat captain after he was caught getting amorous with his girlfriend in the ship’s bathroom. An engineer on the Key West Express, a boat that runs from Marco Island to Key West, said other passengers alerted him to a couple in the men’s restroom around 7:15 p.m. The engineer told the woman’s father, who went down to the bathroom to try to break things off, according to an arrest report. The father said he pulled his daughter away from her boyfriend, Robert “Bubba” Martin, 24, who became violent, pushing the father and trying to punch him. The father’s friends and crew members then got involved, and Martin told them he would “kick the shit out of all you guys,” reports said. The captain helped zip tie Martin’s limbs to restrain him, but Martin said he was diabetic and the wrist cuffs were too tight. Martin promised to behave if the zip ties were removed, but he bit the captain’s hand after he was released.

Rough little getaway for pops. One minute, you’re sipping drinks & catching rays on your way to Key West. Next minute, everyone on the ship is looking for you to let you know your little princess is getting that tiny hiney you used to wipe destroyed over a urinal by her boyfriend Bubba. And if learning how huge a slut his daughter is in a public setting wasn’t soul-crushing enough, dad got laid out by a boner-wielding kid half his age & stripped of whatever mid-life manhood he had left. Awkward. I want to say he made a bad decision trying to interfere, but I’m not sure what other options he had. Just shrug his shoulders & let the crew rub one out to her moans, then give them both a stern talking to when the fuckfest was over? You gotta break it up. You just can’t get your ass kicked while staring down a hard-on & pulling away your daughter with her panties around her knees. At least not if you plan to live anymore afterwards.