Yankees score 14 runs in 2 innings against guys they’ve seen before but Felix Doubront looks like Cy Young for the first 6.
There’s a lot of frustrating shit in life. That guy that doesn’t do the ‘creep into the middle of the intersection to make the left turn when the light goes red’ move, causing you to miss it. That burn- momentary relief- super burn combo when you run your hand under hot water. Tim Kurkjian’s sign off for SportsCenter. But hands down, one of the most frustrating things in the world for any Yankee fan is the team’s inability to hit pitchers they are facing for the first time. Not saying that Yu Darvish’s rape of the Yankee lineup last night was because of that, but it didn’t help. Darvish was masterful though- pitched exactly as advertised. Except those “cat-like reflexes” I read so much about didn’t look that hot on the Jeter bunt. Other than that, he had all of his pitches working and absolutely killed the ‘I fuck Porn Stars and make 250 million dollars in one month’ look.
But watching his performance did leave me wondering, as I have (and I’m sure most Yankee fans have) a million times before, how the fuck can this team go out and put up crooked numbers against proven aces, but throw any Baltimore Oriole Double-A rookie at them and they shit the bed? And the weirdest thing about it is that it’s not a few players in specific, and it’s not just this current team. It’s been like this for as long as I can remember. The second anybody puts on the pinstripes, they buy into the philosophy of working the count, taking walks, and swinging through literally any pitch thrown by Felix Doubront. Shit doesn’t make sense. Kinda like the way a lefty can “drop the barrel” on an inside pitch and blast one into the seats, but that swing just doesn’t exist for righties. Never got that one either. But I’ll take this anomaly over the alternative. I’d rather see the Yankees look foolish against rookies and have more success against veterans rather than the other way around any day. That’s a big part of their success over the last 15 years or so. If I’m managing a team in a game 7 against the Yankees, I’m benching the Felix Hernandez’s and Roy Halladay’s of the world and calling up the most mediocre 31-year old in the farm system to make the spot start.
P.S.- Thank God the Mets took the back page of the papers this morning. I think I would have killed myself if I saw one more “Yu” pun. Gun in the mouth if I had to read “Yu beat us” while waiting on line for breakfast earlier today. Seriously YES? ALL 3 scouting report pieces on Darvish with the Yu-You pun?