Steroids? This bucket of smiles? No sir. 

For about 2 hours earlier this afternoon, if you typed Cano into the Discover tab on Twitter, navigated past the spanish mumbo jumbo, and saw these rumors, you would have been justified in wondering if Yankee world was about to collapse.  I think it started on Reddit or from some dude in Charlotte or some dude in Charlotte on Reddit. I don’t know exactly where or why, but rumors were in full swing about Cano joining Melky Cabrera on the most recent list of PED-related suspensions. At around 2 PM, every Met fan and Red Sox fan simultaneously blew their load all over their Twitter. But it’s not true. It’s just some irresponsible journalism getting everybody in a tizzy. And I fucking know that Drew Switzer and the rest of Kansas City is somehow responsible. I can’t prove it yet, as I’m waiting on their response to my inquiries to arrive in the mail in about 3-5 business days, but I feel it in my bones. Well played, Switz. Round 2 is yours.