DM – It is often said that money can’t buy love. But trying telling that to a wealthy Indian man who splashed out £14,000 on a solid gold shirt in the hope it will attract female attention. Money-lender Datta Phuge 32, from Pimpri-Chinchwad, commissioned the shirt which took a team of 15 goldsmiths two weeks to make working 16 hours a day creating and weaving the gold threads. It comes complete with its own matching cuffs and a set of rings crafted from left-over gold. ’I know I am not the best looking man in the world but surely no woman could fail to be dazzled by this shirt?’ he explained ’The gold shirt has been one of my dreams,’ Mr Phuge told Indian newspaper the Pune Mirror. ’It will be an embellishment to my reputation as the ‘Gold man of Pimpri”‘ Mr Phuge said.  The gaudy shirt was assembled on a fabric base of imported white velvet, and comes with six Swarovski crystal buttons and an intricate belt, also made of gold.

 

Awwwww shit! This man Datta Phuge been pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin! Don’t think I’ve ever seen a more sure-fire way to get sluts on your dick than wearing a solid gold shirt around town. It’s like fishing with dynamite. And I love his quote there: ‘I know I am not the best looking man in the world but surely no woman could fail to be dazzled by this shirt?’ Now that’s a man who understands the female mind. Gonna have a ho train following him everywhere he goes. Fucking conga line of skanks looking to cash in. Well played sir, well played.

But seriously you gotta love Indian dudes. Maybe the most awkward race of people when it comes to dealing with women. Has an Indian bro ever fucked a white girl in the history of the universe? I think that might be the rarest interracial hookup in the game. Indian dudes are so awkward with girls that even a super rich one can’t rely on just telling girls he’s rich. He has to visually display it in the form of a shirt to make sure they get the message loud and clear. No way a solid gold shirt could ever be misinterpreted. I’m single, I’m wealthy, and I’m looking for pussy. Loud and fucking clear.

PS – How do you wash it?