WELLINGTON, New Zealand – Experts say a New Zealand woman’s 2-gallon-a-day Coca-Cola habit probably contributed to her death, a conclusion that led the soft-drink giant to note that even water can be deadly in excessive amounts. Natasha Harris, a 30-year-old, stay-at-home mother of eight from Invercargill, died of a heart attack in February 2010. Fairfax Media reported that a pathologist, Dr. Dan Mornin, testified at an inquest Thursday that she probably suffered from hypokalemia, or low potassium, which he thinks was caused by her excessive consumption of Coke and overall poor nutrition. Symptoms of hypokalemia can include abnormal heart rhythms, according to the U.S. National Institutes of Health. Mornin said that toxic levels of caffeine, a stimulant found in Coke, also may have contributed to her death, according to Fairfax. Harris’ partner, Chris Hodgkinson, testified that Harris drank between 8 and 10 liters (2.1 and 2.6 gallons) of regular Coke every day. “The first thing she would do in the morning was to have a drink of Coke beside her bed and the last thing she would do at night was have a drink of Coke,” Hodgkinson said in a deposition. “She was addicted to Coke.” Hodgkinson also said Harris ate little and smoked about 30 cigarettes a day. In the months before her death, he said, Harris experienced blood pressure problems and lacked energy.

I love these stories. So exaggerated. I just did it myself with the title of this blog. The headlines are always “Woman dies from drinking too much Coca Cola.” And then you read the article and its like “On Wednesday morning Jane Smith was run over by an 18 wheeler on her way to the store to pick up Coca Cola. The family contends it was her addiction to Coke that led to her death.” This bitch smoked thirty cigarettes and didn’t eat food. You could drink 2 gallons of water from the fucking fountain of youth every day and you’re still gonna do if the only thing you consume is cigarettes. Eating food is a pretty important function of life.

Basically the only liquids I consume are soda and various forms of alcohol. Water is just so goddam boring. Oh and I drink milk when I’m eating cookies and shit. Don’t see me dying, do you?

PS – Just realized 2.5 gallons is Five 2 liter bottles of Coke per day. Thats pretty diesel. Maybe that shit could kill you.