MNNImagine a pill that could instantly sober you up no matter how much you’ve had to drink, or a hangover cure that worked minutes after swallowing it. Hardened drinkers rejoice: researchers are about to begin human trials on an “alcohol antidote” that may soon offer a cure to alcoholism, reports New Scientist. The drug is a chemical called dihydromyricetin, or DHM, and is derived from a Chinese variety of the oriental raisin tree, which has been used for at least 500 years in China as an effective hangover cure. So far the extract has only been tested on boozing rats, but with promising results. “DHM will reduce the degree of drunkenness for the amount of alcohol drunk and will definitely reduce the hangover symptoms,” said Jing Liang, lead researcher in the study. “There was a lot of philosophical worry that an ‘alcohol antidote’ would entice people to consume alcohol and then count on being able to terminate the intoxicating effects on demand,” said Markus Heilig, clinical director of the U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

First couch potato pills, now hangover curing sober pills?? Goddam, KFC is gonna be one healthy, shredded motherfucker in the future. These scientists can’t be so stupid that they actually think this will stop alcoholism, do they? Cure hangovers and be able to sober up instantaneously? That fixes the two biggest problems that boozing presents. You could just get wasted whenever you wanted and never have to worry about anything. You’re driving? Don’t worry just get shitfaced at the bar and take the Chinese Sober Pill when its time to leave. About to hook up but you’ve got a bad case of the whiskey dick? Chinese Sober Pill + Viagra and its party time. Worried about being so hungover you won’t hit the gym or be active at all the next day? Chinese Sober Pill + Couch Potato Pill, hangover gone and your workout is done. Seriously this pill will make everyone in the world booze bags, and make things infinitely easier for all of us who already are.