NYDN – A Chinese restaurant in Kentucky is closed for business after officials found road-kill in its kitchen. Health inspectors shuttered the Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Williamsburg after customers saw two employees wheel in a dead deer stuffed in a trash can, WYMT-TV reported. ”It was really disturbing. There was actually a blood trail that they were mopping up behind the garbage can,” customer Katie Hopkins told the local television station. ”There was like a tail, and like a foot and leg sticking out of the garbage can and they wheeled it straight back into the kitchen.” The owner claims that the deer, which his son reportedly picked up along Interstate 75, was never going to be served to customers. Instead, the owner said he intended to take the carcass home. Environmental health inspector Paul Lawson told Lex18.com that the deer “had already been gutted” by the time he arrived at the restaurant, raising “many health and illness” issues. “They said they didn’t know that they weren’t allowed to,” Lawson told WYMT, adding that he’s concerned that the owner may have committed a similar health violation before. Officials immediately shut down the restaurant and cited the owner’s son for possession of a “white-tailed deer without a tag,” Lex18.com reported.
Ignorance is bliss. And there are 2 examples of ignorance being bliss that trump all others. 1) Knowing how many people your girlfriend slept with before you. And 2) Knowing what Chinese food is made of. In the first example there’s just no winning. Whatever number she throws out, all you’re gonna be thinking about is other dicks that have been up inside her. You know others have been in there. Probably more than you’d like. But if you don’t know the exact answer you can just go ahead pretending she was a virgin before she met you and slept you with on the first date.
In the second example, you ruin Chinese food for the rest of your life. In your heart of hearts and in your mind you know you’re eating monkey meat. Rat meat. Road kill from Interstate 75. But its so delicious and there’s that outside shot that maybe that stuff you’re chewing actually is white meat chicken, and so – ignorance is bliss. Its a perfectly balanced system where the restaurant serves you dead deer and you agree to turn a blind eye because A) They somehow make it delicious and B) They give you about 30 pounds of mystery meat for $8.95. But that delicate structure is thrown completely out of whack the moment you look behind the curtain and see Mr. Wong Foo and his son dragging a dead deer through the kitchen, hacking it up, and putting it in your General Tsaos. You can lower your standards to Chinese take out when there’s that 1% chance it may be real food. Once you’re at 100% its all over. You realize your girlfriend has had sex with 30 dudes and you’ve been eating Bambi for the past 20 years.
PS – “I didn’t know we weren’t allowed to do that.” Cue the fuckin music