(AP) – Hundreds of Chinese factory workers held their Japanese and Chinese managers hostage for a day and a half over … strictly timed bathroom breaks. About 1,000 workers at Shanghai Shinmei Electric Company kept the 18 managers inside the factory in Shanghai starting Friday morning until just before midnight Saturday. The managers were released uninjured after 300 police officers were called to the factory. A security guard at the plant explained that the workers “demanded the scrapping of the ridiculously strict requirements stipulating that workers only have two minutes to go to the toilet and workers will be fined [$8] if they are late once and fired if they are late twice.” The managers apparently agreed to reconsider the rules.

Make me stay late at night. Come in early. Hell even ask me to work a Saturday here and there. But don’t you dare take away my time in the shitter. The bathroom is your safe haven. Its the one place you can escape from your desk, close a door, and read some Barstool or play a game on your phone. Its a room full of people with their pants around their ankles with shit pouring out of their assholes just happy that their boss can’t see them for the next 10 minutes.

And thats when you’re working a cushy white collar job over here in America. That goes double when you’re working in some sweatshop over in China. You probably just wanna hang out in the bathroom breathing in shit and urine because its cleaner than the air out on the factory floor. Pretend to take a shit for 10 or 15 minutes just to give your fingers a break from sewing bootleg Nikes. When you’re making like 15 cents a day the least you deserve is to take a shit at your own desired pace. So it doesn’t surprise me one bit to see the Chinaman proletariat rise up against the shit oppressing state. Bathroom time is one of the basic human rights.

PS – I’m the faster shitter in the world. Aside from like a bad buffalo wings, 20 beer hangover, of course. If we’re talking about standard mid-week shit, 2 minutes is no problem.