(NEWSER) – Sorry, seekers of free vibrators, but New York City has put the kibosh on Trojan’s sex toy giveaway. The company started doling out its Tri-Phoria and Pulse products yesterday as planned, but after just a few hundred pleasure-seekers were made very happy with their free swag, a City Hall representative shut down the event because too many people had gathered. Needless to say, many of the hundreds of women (and a couple of guys) in line were less than thrilled, the New York Postreports. ”I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!” said one woman. More than 400 sex toys were handed out at one location, but two more locations were shut down before Trojan could even get close to the 10,000 vibrators it had hoped to give away. “There’s a lot more important things the city should be worried about than a free-vibrator giveaway,” another woman complained. “Bloomberg doesn’t want anyone to have fun. You can’t have a giant soda. You can’t have a vibrator.” Hizzoner’s office says Trojan didn’t have a permit, but the company may try the promotion again later.

No soda! No salt! No double sided dillies!

This is the concentration camp we live in. Once known as New York City – the land where you could drink whatever you want, garnish your foods with whatever you want, and fuck yourself with whatever you want. But along came King Bloomberg on his 9th term of being mayor. Now we’re thirsty, our food is bland, and the pussies of New York City are empty. Devoid of dildos. Feel like I’m living in some post apocalyptic world with no luxuries at all. Over 9,000 free dildos that were supposed to fill the empty pussies of these new 50 Shades of Grey sluts snatched away by the long arm of Bloomberg.

Bet that Bear Jew is holed up in Gracie Mansion in a bath tub full of Pepsi with a cock ring on laughing all the way to the bank.