Gothamist - It’s still a tough job market out there, but those of you desperately searching for work, take heart: there are plenty of job opportunities in the recession-proof field of public humiliation. Just ask Elliott Timmons. This morning the LifeStyles condom company paid the Bronx native good money to stand around in a T-shirt with red wings on his back, holding a bow and arrow and a big bag of condoms. Nice work if you can get it, and don’t mind trading in your dignity for some cold, hard cash

Shit has really gone down hill for Biz Markie huh?

Anyway, these pictures of Elliot handing out dick socks to chicks raises one of my favorite questions. What do you think about girls who have their own condoms? Its a pretty intricate question filled with double standards and double negatives and shit. My first inclination is that you have equipment created for a dick, yet you yourself do not have a dick, you probably are around a lot of other people’s dicks to facilitate that need. You feel me? Its not like I have all sorts of intimate stuff for vaginas. If a chick reaches into her nightstand and pulls out condoms, there’s definitely a little bell going off like “hmmm, I’m not the first person to take this tour.” Not nearly enough to stop me, but just something going on in the back of my head.

Now the other scenario is a chick who carries her own condoms in her purse or something when she goes out. I’ll be perfectly honest, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered it. But its gotta be out there, no? And let me tell you, whether its a double standard or not, a chick who brings her own condoms out a night screams “I’m a DTF slut.” This means that you are on the road for so many away games that you pack your own gear.  She’s gotta have all sorts of shit…or does she? Because the other side of the coin is that she has a condom on her right now, so maybe she has always had one on her in the past. Like she’s just so careful she never leaves home without it. Like American Express.

But the third side to this condom coin is that she probably is carrying Elliot Timmins’ condoms because its more of a “lesson learned” sort of scenario. Like she didn’t always bring out condoms but after one bad night, she’ll never make that mistake again. So its too late. BUT she has a condom for you to wear, so regardless you’ll still be safe for the most part so is it all good regardless? I just don’t know man, its like this never ending back and forth debate. It’s like when you stand in between two mirrors and they reflect off of each other and go on for infinity. There’s just no end to this discussion.

Vote 1 for if a girl has condoms you think its slutty vote 10 for its 2011 its all good

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (821 votes, average: 5.85 out of 10)
 Loading ... Loading ...