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Now I know what you’re all thinking. “Nothing beats a White Castle wedding? Literally everything beats a White Castle wedding?” Wrong. Last Valentine’s Day I woulda said that shit. But that was before I got engaged. That was before I went down the wedding planning path. Now I can’t tell you how absolutely magnificent this sounds. No bills, no drama, no Pre Cana. Just show up to White Castle, say “I do,” split a Crave Case, and most likely shit in your tuxedo pants. That sounds absolutely glorious right about now for your boy KFC. I mean there have been times I’ve legitimately almost been severely injured, potentially murdered, by locals at the Fordham Road White Castle and I still think I’d be down to get hitched there.

Maybe I still can. Maybe we’ll just move the wedding there and I can have Suits be the Justice of the Peace? Lemme see what The Roommate thinks.