Jesus Christ. This commercial reminded me of Dr. Evil rapping Hard Knock Life with Mini Me. For the record, I found that douche-chillingly unfunny as well. Amazing how some franchises that garner all the attention for all the wrong reasons can’t stop doing it. I know it’s a harmless commercial, but you’re a fucking billionaire, Jerry. You don’t need the money. Did you really think this was such a hilarious concept you just couldn’t pass up? Maybe it’s similar to every NBA player releasing a hip-hop track as if, if not for their current careers, they’d have unseated Jay-Z instead. I mean I just finished laughing my balls off about how Dallas’ top offensive threat has a babysitter now. Give me a second to catch my breath before Jerry Jones starts spitting bars in my face about how Papa John’s lights him up like a Roman candle.
P.S. – Hey guy who tweeted me telling me to stop mentioning the Jets every post – it took everything I had, but this one’s for you.