David Blaine Is Gonna Get Lit Up By 1 Million Volts In The Meatpacking District Because He’s The Biggest Asshole On The Planet
NYDN - Daredevil magician David Blaine says he’ll risk getting electrocuted next month when he takes on a 1 million-volt charge for 72 hours. The 39-year-old celebrity illusionist said Monday that he’s been training to endure three days and nights of the potentially deadly electrical current. Beginning Oct. 5, fans can watch for free as the modern-day Houdini gets lit up on Pier 54 near the Meatpacking District in a stunt he’s calling “Electrified: One Million Volts Always On.” While he hopes it won’t be a sizzling performance, Blaine vowed it will be his “most dangerous” ever. Computer-chip giant Intel has joined forces with Blaine to promote its new Ultrabook laptops and live-stream the performance to the world. In a YouTube trailer posted Monday, Blaine stands on a metal pedestal wearing a futuristic mesh suit and a globe-shaped wire helmet as electrical bolts hit him from all directions.
David Blaine was so much better when he was just walking the streets scaring black people with card tricks. That was high comedy and actually cool magic. He’d be like “your card is the 8 of clubs” and black guys would get up and run around like they were at an And 1 Dunk Contest and someone just put up a 10. Hootin and hollerin. Half them would make a bee-line door yelling “Oh hell no. Nope. I ain’t fuckin with this” like they were running out of a scary movie. The best was when he levitated and the whole Dallas Cowboys roster ran away like they just saw a witch doctor.
Those were the good old days of David Blaine. Now he just picks random stupid shit to do and always fails. I’m gonna hold my breath for 25 minutes! I’m gonna live in an ice cube for a month! Every time some doctor pulls the blog and he just lays there like a dead slug while paramedics work on him. The only one he successfully completed I think was when he just stood on top of a fucking pole in Times Square. Such a fraud. Just get electrocuted to death and die already.