Defense Says Taconic Crash Mom Wasn’t Drunk Because She Ordered Chicken Selects At McDonald’s At 9:40 AM
NBC NY - It takes a sober person to order Chicken Selects at McDonald’s during breakfast hours – or at least that’s the latest explanation Daniel Schuler’s investigator posits for why Diane wasn’t drunk when she killed eight people in a tragic wrong-way crash on the Taconic. The proof is in McDonald’s, Ruskin says. The investigator told the Daily News that Diane Schuler put in a complex order at the food chain – Chicken Selects, a food not normally served at breakfast – for her son, Bryan. She had to convince the cashier to put it through, reports the News, which required some conversational skills. “Diane Schuler was very engaging,” Ruskin told the paper. “She was so engaging she was able to convince the McDonald’s employees to make Bryan Schuler Chicken Selects at 9:40 in the morning.”
This is probably the worst legal defense in the history of the legal system. Do you know how hard it is to convince these nazi McDonald’s workers to make you lunch during breakfast hours? Literally impossible. The only thing possibly harder is convincing them to make breakfast when its lunch hours. I mean I can’t speak for how everyone’s McDonalds operates around the country but I’ve been trying this for years and it’s never worked. Ever. It’s like the only thing they focus on during training. Don’t give correct change and don’t ever make lunch during breakfast. So obviously this bitch had to be wasted to pull this off which ruins the whole defense. You just can’t spit game like this sober. Come on, Chicken Selects at 9:40 AM? That’s ludicrous. Unheard of. I tried to order McGriddles at 10:31 AM one time and I thought the lady was going to knock my teeth out. Needless to say I ended up with a quarter pounder and got shorted like 3 bucks then walked home 20 blocks with my head hung low.
Falling Down = one of the best movies ever made.
Chile, Please! McDonald’s workers make me whatever I want whenever I want. They be acting like I’m their King and shit. Then again they know what happens to people who refuse The Prison Monster…
Do you guys know what happens?
I order a McGriddle the other day at 9:15 had explosive diarrhea by 9:20.
You hold your breath until you get your way??
mcgriddle = better eat it on the toilet
Nah, Windy, that shit doesn’t work. Last time I tried that I ended up waking up Naked in a Dumpster…
Drink a couple of spoonfuls of Pepto Bismol before you eat a mcgriddle and your shit comes out midnight black.
topics for portnoy:
1. christmas
2. kfc/kmarko
3. Dauer
4. betting everything on the pats this weekend
any other suggestions?
5. Trapp
yes, what his stance is on tips.
when he will start having kids for tax reasons.
6. Unbanning loyal followers from the Boston comments section.
So it would be a black stool, Windy?
I’m a black stoolie are you calling me a midnight shit?
6. What to do with an abundance of Ball Don’t Lie t-shirts.
eagle, why do you want to comment over there?
7. Dradle games
8. The Holacaust
» Great White Hunter said: { Nov 20, 2009 – 02:11:06 }
ask portnoy what he is doing for christmas.
viking, pickett, relax. not interesting anymore
Not interesting? I couldn’t agree more… which is EXACTLY the way everyone feels about the usual shit on here, some shithead’s dog, the other guy’s lunch, farts dreaming of getting shit on. You find it annoying to read my repetitive shit with Viking? I find all this other shit boring and repetitive. Soon as this pack of losers stops I’ll stop.
I gotta admit, Viking is comedy gold though. I couldn’t imposter him and write funnier shit. The cliche master. “Earned his party years”. I love it. Round N Round brutha!!!!
Good Morning Fuckers!!!
8. what position his wife likes
10. if he likes my friday jew jokes
I agree with Eagle, but once I go back I know I’ll let it all out in my first comment and get banned again. Plus I’ve gotten comfortable here.
jew jokes are golden farts
GWH: I like to get my two cents in everywhere, esp. when Pres bashes Boston College and neglects to mention how bad Michigan is and how its coach cries on national television. Don’t worry. I’m not leaving NY. I wouldn’t do that to you.
11. WHY he hired 610
11. The failings of the U. Michigan english department.
12. ask him who has the best commenting name?
Laid, you’re alive?!!??
DTNGML …. what the hell?????
where have you been?
you gave me another shitty pick????
when are you gonna give me a winner?
Did you hold up the sign??
pokey?
Detox you gotta make us proud and bash on Portnoy until he hangs up on you.
he’d have to be on hold for 30-45 minutes… tox doesn’t have the patience
should i call now and wait in line? i can’t even listen to it from my computer for some reason.
He’s already talking, 10 minutes early.
best be dialin..
i’m on hold listening to music.
someone organize a question list.
drunk, woke up in my car in parking garage
i’ve done that with the ac still on, and woke up to a dead battery.
Boxing = boring. He doesn’t talk about boxing in any online story, but he leads with that on the show. Zzzzzzzzz.
50/50 chance of a disaster? Get tox on the line the site is getting shut off.
what the fuck, can’t hear anything…is he on?
» kmarko said: { Nov 20, 2009 – 02:11:32 }
it’s all on the pats this weekend -10 don’t you guys let me down
Im gonna trust you Kmarko, should be an easy one I hope. Pats should crush them just like they should’ve done with the Colts…. Bastards.
ask him how big his dick is, then hang up
Is this last week’s broadcast? Why are they talking about Pacman/Cotto?
Portnoy has a great voice…for blogging.
It does sound like last week’s. Maybe it’s a replay until 3pm.
its all distorted, it sounds like shit right? or is it me?
i’d rather listen to windy’s cat when he shoots it in the hind quarters with his last 20 ga. shell and it takes 6 hours for it to croak
surely can’t be a “best of” episode…
Aside from Portnoy’s voice it sounds fine.
Yeah – It’s a repeat. Where’s the new show?
portnoy, nobody cares about your stupid gambling story. take my call ya geek.
these guys are friggin nerds
if you call the # you can listen to the show.
omfg this is one of the most hilarious things I have ever listened to
“What number are you so I can hang up on you”
uhhh…..614?
Does he realize that last week’s show currently is playing? I don’t hear any live broadcast. Jesus, this guy is retarded.
Is this last week? I only listened to 20 minutes last week…
it’s a new show on the phone. they’re talking about 4th and 2.
click on where it says “Dave Portnoy.” once you get to the actual Blog Talk Radio page you can play the new one from there
This is last week’s show. You can even fast-forward if you click on the streaming “Barstool” text. We just got robbed.
Kmarko’s got it. Holy Christ.
Ya click on the blogtalkradio link it’ll open a new page with today’s date on it. Portnoy fucked up as usual.
Kmarko flexing the knowledge. Listening now.
Detox!
HAH Detox is on!
DETOX!!!!!!!!!
Detox tell Portnoy to unban us.
Detox had better have a better follow-up question.
Detox stop talking football. Bash him!
lmao he hung up on you..
Ask Dave if he knows the difference between racism and racial humor.
That stupid cunt hung up on Tox. Good job we’ll get him next time.
Dave: “Are you racist.”
Detox: “HELL no. I bang black chicks all the time.”
The fact that he gives out your whole phone number has to be bad, right??
he was scared of me.
i can’t blame him, i’d be scared of me too.
How LOUD is that guys phone jesus
why did he hang up on me?
“Whitebread” is racist. Ban Ellio.
Probably assumed you’d drop an F bomb or something, since you’re already banned.
Eagle1 Pres doesn’t believe you can be racist unless it’s anti black. Only white on black is racist.
i’m calling back.
Ellio should run a sleep study at a local hospital.
i’m not happy with my performance.
Call back Tox, get that motherfucker.
You might have to call from a different line doubt he’ll pick up if he recognizes the number from before.
He in no way is smart enough to recognize a number from earlier, c’mon now
I have no interest in gambling. Where is Tox? god dammit
viking, i had to hang up. my boss came back.
Testing 1, 2, 3.
This guy doesn’t realize that the show he’s listening to was last week’s.
Kmarko call him and tell him to take a tech class good lord
Less banning commenters and crappy t-shirts.
More paying attention to live-radio details.
Why doesn’t the NY site have a direct link to the show? Stupit.