I love Steve Donahue. Seems like a clubhouse favorite, all giddy and pink-cheeked on Old Timer’s Day and shit and he’s probably a good guy but get the fuck off my field for one night. Jeter can’t be hurt for an extended period of time. He never follows team trends. Never hit a walk-off in the pie year and he will not be injured in the season of death. He’s fine. Just fine. Happy, happy, happy.

Update: Bone bruise. Jeter’s fine. Told you, idiots.