Detroit —Like it or hate it, a RoboCop statue soon could be coming to Detroit. Tuesday evening, organizers met their goal of raising $50,000, just six days after the whimsical campaign began. Pete Hottelet, an Oakland, Calif., advertising entrepreneur, pushed the campaign to its goal, donating $25,000 online. The 32-year-old said he saw the effort as an opportunity to help Detroit. “Detroit has an amazing history, and it’s one of those places where something like this fits in.” The average contribution, from 1,500 people, was about $17, according to Corktown resident Jerry Paffendorf, one of the RoboCop campaign leaders. By 11 a.m. today, the campaign had raised $50,626 and there’s still 38 days to go, according to the kickstarter.com, the website that was used to raise funds. “People were really interested in making something happen in Detroit,” Paffendorf said. Paffendorf, 29, of Detroit said he hopes the RoboCop campaign inspires residents and leads to other projects. “If people can raise money for something like RoboCop, then they can do it for their neighborhoods or their schools,” Paffendorf said. “Sometimes it takes a RoboCop to open up the consciousness of these things.”

Welp we can go ahead and just give up on the human race. $50,000 in 6 goddam days for a statue of a fictional half man half robot police officer. I wonder if these dickheads in Detroit understand the irony of this – they’re all donating money to erect a statue that will hopefully rejuvenate schools and neighborhoods when they could just donate their money to….the fucking schools and neighborhoods.

Ah who am I kidding I’d probably donate money to a completely preposterous statue before I ever gave back to my community. Sometimes I’m sitting on my couch watching TV and one of those “adobt an African” commercials comes on and they’re like “for one nickel per week, you can feed an entire African nation and eradicate AIDS for an entire region and we’ll declare you royalty and send you a crown and a scepter and as many blood diamonds as you want and you’ll be the King of Africa.” And I’m like nahhhh. Turn the TV off and head down stairs to the bodega and I buy a 12 pack of Bug Light for like 15 bucks. Get my Tuesday night buzz going while all those little Ethiopians run around with swollen bellies and flies on their eyeballs. Sick world we live in. Or at least I live in.

PS – The animal cruelty commercial with Sarah Mclachlan is a totally different story. They show those pups with like 1 eyeball and no fur and no paws and I swear some of the dogs are actually crying tears. And I’m always on the verge of donating like 10,000 dollars and adopting like 70 of them.