Jiminy fuckin Cricket did Mariano hurt his knee shagging fly balls or was he assassinated? I’m honestly not sure because the way the world is talking about him, you’d think he’s dead. People are talking about him the same way they are talking about Junior Seau. Hey Yankees fans, when’s the wake? When’s the funeral? You freakin crybabies.
I wrote a drunk blog last night at like 2am gushing about Mariano and I woke up embarrassed with myself. Then this morning I see everyone’s reaction on twitter and the radio and the newspapers and its like 1000 times more dramatic. Got Pizza Boy writing obituaries. Arod unable to speak to the media he’s so emotional. All of Yankee nation cries out “He doesn’t deserve this!” “He shouldn’t go out like this!” Fuck you! You know what he didn’t deserve and you know what you Yankees fans didn’t deserve? Like 50 goddam years of Old Man Mariano breaking bats and mowing people down. Dude’s career should have ended like 10 years ago. And as for “he shouldn’t go out like this,” you’re fuckin right. He should have gone out like every superstar who eventually ages and sucks. Every year since 2001 I waited for the season he finally fell apart and became and old man and got rocked. I wanted to watch Mo struggle as an old man and now I’ll never get the chance. He won’t even be tarnished by shitty years in the twilight of his career.