Poor KFC. Kid was so excited to have another non-Jewish Barstool guy. Wrote a whole blog about finally having another gentile to add to the roster. I could feel the heartbreak in the G-chat window when I told him my mom’s family were Chosen People.
I mean sure, I don’t go to temple or wear those hats or send food back at the deli, but that’s what makes me so dangerous. I represent a new kind of Jew – the Daywalker Jew. You can’t spot us because we have normal Christian last names, our noses aren’t massive and we’re not neurotic. So you get comfortable with us, let us into your homes and places of business, and before you know what happened your change jar is empty and your taxes are done. There’s just no way to defend against it.
So next time you think you’ve made a cool gentile friend, you may want to double check and make sure. Daywalkers are everywhere. And they’re greedy.
PS – The fact that “Fire his ass now” wasn’t the top comment on KFC’s post may have been the most disappointing thing in my 24 years of life.